cute fuzzy bunny
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
As asked, here is a thread where we can share our brushes with the law, and possibly what we learned from them.
My first brush with the law was at the tender age of 16.
I got a date With Carol E. A very hot gal from a very ritzy yankee town that was friends with a friend. A big score for me, as I was a little on the "wrong side of the tracks" growing up.
We had a nice dinner out (about a months earnings for me), and I took her to a party which featured Wild Turkey based boilermakers.
On the way home I ran out of gas. No really. My big block mustang sucked its last from my gas tank and left us in the middle of freakin nowhere...right in front of a closed gas station at about 11:00 at night.
She wasnt buying the "out of gas" line, and hit the right button "you're a smart guy...figure out a way to get us home...hell...THERES a gas station!".
I pushed the car into the gas station and realizing I had a piece of hose in my trunk that I had used to siphon some gas between friends half dead cars, I pushed it in between a couple of parked "repair" cars.
Got the siphon going and about 1.9 seconds later the police car screamed in, lights blazing.
Carol, god save her, jumped out of the vehicle, whispered "put the hose under the car" and started making out with me on the trunk. She was trying to make it look like a badly planned makeout session. In light of this fast thinking, I might have married her had she not developed a lithium imbalance and tried to stab me in my sleep a year and a half later, mortally wounding my waterbed, but thats another story...
The cops weren't buying it. They had driven by and seen me siphoning and came back around. I wasnt cuffed but I was summarily dragged to the police station for general embarrassment. She had to call her dad, a former Yale football player who could still easily kick my ass, to come get her. I was released "unarrested" but ordered to report for a court hearing. She was ordered to "never see that scumbag again".
After explaining the story, expressing remorse, and begging forgivedness, the judge (actually I think he was just a clerk) "ordered" me to donate $25 to the local boys club and "never do it again".
I deducted the $25 "donation" from my taxes and never siphoned gas again until about 18 months ago when my lawn mower ran out halfway through a mowing, my can was empty and I realized I had just filled up my car. And I was too lazy to drive to the gas station 2 miles away.
Carol, last I heard about her, got "punky" and ended up working for Visa's collection department in Los Angeles; I havent heard from her in about 15 years. Her dad was killed in a freak helicopter accident when his corporate chopper crashed in the mid '80's.
There's a comedian who tells a joke that if he ever has daughters, when their boyfriends come around, he's going to be in the driveway in cammy pants, sharpening a machete, and he's going to tell them "She's inside. You're dropping her back here at 8:00. I have a gun and a shovel and nobody will miss you".
Whenever I hear that line, I think about Carol's dad.
Oh yeah, and I learned to fill up my gas tank before taking my date out and getting her half in the bag.
My first brush with the law was at the tender age of 16.
I got a date With Carol E. A very hot gal from a very ritzy yankee town that was friends with a friend. A big score for me, as I was a little on the "wrong side of the tracks" growing up.
We had a nice dinner out (about a months earnings for me), and I took her to a party which featured Wild Turkey based boilermakers.
On the way home I ran out of gas. No really. My big block mustang sucked its last from my gas tank and left us in the middle of freakin nowhere...right in front of a closed gas station at about 11:00 at night.
She wasnt buying the "out of gas" line, and hit the right button "you're a smart guy...figure out a way to get us home...hell...THERES a gas station!".
I pushed the car into the gas station and realizing I had a piece of hose in my trunk that I had used to siphon some gas between friends half dead cars, I pushed it in between a couple of parked "repair" cars.
Got the siphon going and about 1.9 seconds later the police car screamed in, lights blazing.
Carol, god save her, jumped out of the vehicle, whispered "put the hose under the car" and started making out with me on the trunk. She was trying to make it look like a badly planned makeout session. In light of this fast thinking, I might have married her had she not developed a lithium imbalance and tried to stab me in my sleep a year and a half later, mortally wounding my waterbed, but thats another story...
The cops weren't buying it. They had driven by and seen me siphoning and came back around. I wasnt cuffed but I was summarily dragged to the police station for general embarrassment. She had to call her dad, a former Yale football player who could still easily kick my ass, to come get her. I was released "unarrested" but ordered to report for a court hearing. She was ordered to "never see that scumbag again".
After explaining the story, expressing remorse, and begging forgivedness, the judge (actually I think he was just a clerk) "ordered" me to donate $25 to the local boys club and "never do it again".
I deducted the $25 "donation" from my taxes and never siphoned gas again until about 18 months ago when my lawn mower ran out halfway through a mowing, my can was empty and I realized I had just filled up my car. And I was too lazy to drive to the gas station 2 miles away.
Carol, last I heard about her, got "punky" and ended up working for Visa's collection department in Los Angeles; I havent heard from her in about 15 years. Her dad was killed in a freak helicopter accident when his corporate chopper crashed in the mid '80's.
There's a comedian who tells a joke that if he ever has daughters, when their boyfriends come around, he's going to be in the driveway in cammy pants, sharpening a machete, and he's going to tell them "She's inside. You're dropping her back here at 8:00. I have a gun and a shovel and nobody will miss you".
Whenever I hear that line, I think about Carol's dad.
Oh yeah, and I learned to fill up my gas tank before taking my date out and getting her half in the bag.