Oh brother, where art thou?

[Mr._johngalt]

Had lunch yesterday with my brother (only sibling). Our Dad
was buying and neither of us was planning any work after, so we
hit the potables pretty good (another advantage of retirement)
Anyway, he is 58 and we talked a little about retirement for a change. He has no real plans that I can determine. He is unemployed right now (been fired twice in the last year) and is
still looking seriously for work. Also, he is talking about buying
a big house post-retirement. The guy has had major back surgery,
is on medication, has had to give up golf (health issues) and he
still doesn't get it.

JG

 

[grumpy]

It is no wonder that he "still doesn't get it". Hitting the potables pretty hard on top of (I assume) pain medication can zap a few neurons.

I had major back surgury many years ago and take three different medications for pain. My limit is two glasses of wine. After that I'm useless.

Grumpy

 

[Nords]

John,

My spouse's parents live about five miles away. They moved here four years ago (after a lifetime in NYC & DC) to watch their only grandkid grow up. We probably see her folks a couple times a week and we frequently run into them (of course always at the most awkward moments). And we're just a phone call away from their slightest whim or transportation request or strange appliance noises...

OTOH I haven't seen my brother or my father in the three years since my grandfather's funeral and, in my brother's case, not for four or five years before that. I swap e-mail occasionally with my Dad and I think my brother has learned to check his account monthly or so. They seem to enjoy updates on their only grandkid's/niece's activities but they don't seem to feel the need to visit or to be in close contact like spouse's parents. I don't know if it's lack of money for plane fare or no desire to fly or just no interest.

So whenever my wife or I start bitching about our version of family togetherness, we offer to trade for a few weeks. The maudlin feeling goes away in about 30 seconds...

And by now your brother surely has to learn to live his own life. Or maybe you guys could turn it into a win-win situation-- buy him a home for him to rent from you!

 

[Mr._johngalt]

It is no wonder that he "still doesn't get it".  Hitting the potables pretty hard on top of (I assume) pain medication can zap a few neurons.

I had major back surgury many years ago and take three different medications for pain.  My limit is two glasses of wine.  After that I'm useless. 

      Grumpy

My wife thinks I am useless even before the wine . Speaking of which................I had some pics taken at our lunch together.
DW opined that my brother looked old (not too uncommon....he is 58).
But, I also thought that he had really aged in the last couple of years.
OTOH, he's done a lot of business traveling, has a few health problems,
has switched jobs twice and is now in the midst of an aggressive job search (again).

That's his life. Here is mine. On Friday we had company coming. My wife had finished
painting 3 rooms, redecorating, was cleaning all the floors. I was sitting
on the tailgate of my pickup with my dog, drinking a beer. She says,
"What are you doing?" I said "Thinking."
Hey, it happened to be true!

JG

 

[VoyT]

    Well, I've got a couple of half-siblings --- the kids from my father's 1st marriage -- who are both a couple of decades older than me. Once the old man died, they basically disappered from my life.   No matter. Life is good anyway.
   

 

[MJ]

My wife thinks I am useless even before the wine . My wife had finished
painting 3 rooms, redecorating, was cleaning all the floors. I was sitting
on the tailgate of my pickup with my dog, drinking a beer. She says,
"What are you doing?" I said "Thinking."
Hey, it happened to be true!

JG, you are indeed blessed.

 

[BUM]

My brother and I could be fodder for a Darwinism test case. We are opposites. I'm mechanical - he's tooless. I'm detail oriented - he's blue sky. I'm careful - he's carefree. I'm DIY - he only handles money. I love my brother... opposites attract.

BUM

 

[JB]

One evening as the sun went down and the jungle fires were burning,
Down the track came a hobo hiking, and he said "Boys, I'm not turning."
"I'm heading for a land that's far away beside the crystal fountains;"
"So come with me, we'll go and see the Big Rock Candy Mountains."

In the Big Rock Candy Mountains, there's a land that's fair and bright,
The handouts grow on bushes and you sleep out every night
Where the boxcars all are empty and the sun shines every day
On the birds and the bees and the cigarete trees,
The lemonade springs where the bluebird sings
In the Big Rock Candy Mountains

In the Big Rock Candy Mountains, all the cops have wooden legs
And the bulldogs all have rubber teeth and the hens lay soft-boiled eggs
The farmer's trees are full of fruit and the barns are full of hay
Oh I'm bound to go where there ain't no snow
Where the rain don't fall, the wind don't blow
In the Big Rock Candy Mountains

In the Big Rock Candy Mountains, you never change your socks
And little streams of alcohol come a-trickling down the rocks
The brakemen have to tip their hats and the railroad bulls are blind
There's a lake of stew and of whiskey too
And you can paddle all around 'em in a big canoe
In the Big Rock Candy Mountains

In the Big Rock Candy Mountains the jails are made of tin,
And you can walk right out again as soon as you are in
There ain't no short-handled shovels, no axes, saws or picks,
I'm a-goin' to stay where you sleep all day
Where they hung the jerk that invented work
In the Big Rock Candy Mountains

I'll see you all this comin' fall in the Big Rock Candy Mountains!

 

[Mr._johngalt]

So anyway, today my brother (between jobs again) says he has
sent out "hundreds" of resumes. I remember doing that. It was
no fun. So I asked him if he ever thought of just retiring
(Wife is a teacher). He says he needs about twice what he has now.
The guy is 58! Good luck

JG