Seeing ex-colleagues

[RobotMom]

I volunteered at an event that an ex-colleague was running this weekend. I saw many ex-colleagues - some of whom were just hearing the news that I retired last summer. One of them was a guy who was 80 - yes EIGHTY - years old and still working. I was an engineer (female) and have known other engineers who have worked into their 70s and 80s and claimed it was for financial reasons. I just really can't believe that. Many of them have retired from the military or multiple companies at a time when pensions were common. Plus, there's SSN and 401k plans. So I take it with a grain of salt when a hyper-organized 80 year old engineer claims he's working for $$. I think he just can't think of anything else to do.

Besides him, I encountered others and they seemed to look upon me as a zoo animal. One (predictably) asked: WHAT DO YOU DO ALL DAY?!?!? I roughly laid out my life - spending a lot more time of self care (exercising - at least an hour a day hike while listening to audio books), reading, diving into things I never had time to do while working, tending to my HS senior, helping with my husband's business by doing bookkeeping, cooking more fresh meals instead of eating out. Most of them looked at me like I was from Mars.

At the end of the day, I started to feel like maybe there was something wrong with me. But after 37 years at the company, I was ready to do different things and had saved and planned so I could. Why is that such a crazy concept?!

 

[steelyman]

There’s nothing wrong with you. You just have a good answer to “what will you do all day?”.

 

[street]

There are people that what life is really about and some just will never be able to leave a structured life.
I know so many in my field of business that just can't walk away for whatever reason. None that I know that have 40 to 50 years in need to extra money but just can't lead a life without having a job. They really don't have a life other than thinking that no one else can do their job better than they can. I honestly think that is their reason not to retire.

 

[yhoomajor]

My answer would have been:
"I don't want to do anything all day. That's why I retired!!"

If feeling extra generous.. I would also add: "work is for suckers".

 

[travelover]

When they ask what you do all day, ask what they do on weekends. Then reply, "That's what I do all day."

 

[casole]

Q: What do you DO all day??

A: Whatever I want!

Can't wait to be able to say that! Seriously though I think many people are scared to spend too much time with themselves. We are so brainwashed by our "hustle and hoard" culture. You were probably viewed with a mix of awe and some jealousy. You should have said "yes I am from Mars. Take me to your leader"

It is slightly terrifying to take the leap. I haven't officially done it yet. Getting close and everyday I second guess myself. Am I crazy. What if I'm making a huge mistake. So to see someone in person who actually did it was probably quite jarring for your former colleagues.

Thank you for sharing that experience.

 

[Montecfo]

I volunteered at an event that an ex-colleague was running this weekend. I saw many ex-colleagues - some of whom were just hearing the news that I retired last summer. One of them was a guy who was 80 - yes EIGHTY - years old and still working. I was an engineer (female) and have known other engineers who have worked into their 70s and 80s and claimed it was for financial reasons. I just really can't believe that. Many of them have retired from the military or multiple companies at a time when pensions were common. Plus, there's SSN and 401k plans. So I take it with a grain of salt when a hyper-organized 80 year old engineer claims he's working for $$. I think he just can't think of anything else to do.

Besides him, I encountered others and they seemed to look upon me as a zoo animal. One (predictably) asked: WHAT DO YOU DO ALL DAY?!?!? I roughly laid out my life - spending a lot more time of self care (exercising - at least an hour a day hike while listening to audio books), reading, diving into things I never had time to do while working, tending to my HS senior, helping with my husband's business by doing bookkeeping, cooking more fresh meals instead of eating out. Most of them looked at me like I was from Mars.

At the end of the day, I started to feel like maybe there was something wrong with me. But after 37 years at the company, I was ready to do different things and had saved and planned so I could. Why is that such a crazy concept?!

My short answer is "Whatever I want".

But I know what you mean. It seems to range from envy to confusion to sometimes outright hostility. It's not something I publicize but you need an answer since conversation inevitably comes around to the question of employment.

 

[FlaGator]

I volunteered at an event that an ex-colleague was running this weekend. I saw many ex-colleagues - some of whom were just hearing the news that I retired last summer. One of them was a guy who was 80 - yes EIGHTY - years old and still working. I was an engineer (female) and have known other engineers who have worked into their 70s and 80s and claimed it was for financial reasons. I just really can't believe that. Many of them have retired from the military or multiple companies at a time when pensions were common. Plus, there's SSN and 401k plans. So I take it with a grain of salt when a hyper-organized 80 year old engineer claims he's working for $$. I think he just can't think of anything else to do.

Besides him, I encountered others and they seemed to look upon me as a zoo animal. One (predictably) asked: WHAT DO YOU DO ALL DAY?!?!? I roughly laid out my life - spending a lot more time of self care (exercising - at least an hour a day hike while listening to audio books), reading, diving into things I never had time to do while working, tending to my HS senior, helping with my husband's business by doing bookkeeping, cooking more fresh meals instead of eating out. Most of them looked at me like I was from Mars.

At the end of the day, I started to feel like maybe there was something wrong with me. But after 37 years at the company, I was ready to do different things and had saved and planned so I could. Why is that such a crazy concept?!

If you are at the point with work, you don't need to explain.

With 7 years removed from the workforce at 55, and many former colleagues still at it, I've come to understand two things:
1. Some people aren't cut out to not work. New DW is in that category. Took some time for that to be clear, and I'm OK with it.
2. #1 is a convenient explanation for people who would otherwise be retired but for their finances.

IMO, live your life, and let them live theirs with being anxious for them.

 

[flyingaway]

I don't even want to see any of them.

 

[CaptTom]

My usual answer is "I've been so busy I don't know how I ever found time to work!"

Some of us have a hard time "doing nothing." Some of those chose to continue to work. Others have different priorities. But phrasing it that way goes a long way toward placating the first group.

 

[athena53]

My son (age 37) is a claims adjuster and says he plans to work forever- he loves his job (thank heaven). They live modestly and they do save, and odds are that when I leave this earth they'll get $4 million or so, so I'm not worried about their future if he does retire, either voluntarily or forced.

He also needs to feel productive but I've pointed out to him that if you don't watch it, volunteer work can suck up more time than you ever imagined. The good news is that you can pick and choose your opportunities and quit if they're too much.

 

[Lewis Clark]

Just tell them that a bad day at home (or doing whatever you want to do) is much better than a good day in the workplace.

 

[Aerides]

One (predictably) asked: WHAT DO YOU DO ALL DAY?!?!? I roughly laid out my life - spending a lot more time of self care (exercising - at least an hour a day hike while listening to audio books), reading, diving into things I never had time to do while working, tending to my HS senior, helping with my husband's business by doing bookkeeping, cooking more fresh meals instead of eating out. Most of them looked at me like I was from Mars.

At the end of the day, I started to feel like maybe there was something wrong with me.

Ah so their questioning worked - that might have been the sub-conscious goal.
Next time, a short quip of an answer is all that is needed. No one really wanted the details (no more than they do when asking "How are you?").

I find the question reveals the lack of imagination, hobbies, activities on the part of the person asking.

 

[punkinhead]

I was an engineer (female) and have known other engineers who have worked into their 70s and 80s and claimed it was for financial reasons. I just really can't believe that.

I wouldn't bet against it. Some of the most brilliant engineers I worked with were financial train wrecks. Buying new cars with credit, home loans, expensive vacations, divorces, and never participated in the 401k. I worked at a Megacorp that went bankrupt in 2008 and the pension was discontinued and turned over to the PBGC. Lots of wailing and gnashing of teeth from people who were making 6 figures but living paycheck to paycheck and were counting on the pension because they've never saved anything for themselves. Engineers and executives who had planned to retire in their 50's were suddenly on a course to work until they die. And as I said, these were very intelligent people and good engineers.

 

[ncbill]

I volunteered at an event that an ex-colleague was running this weekend. I saw many ex-colleagues - some of whom were just hearing the news that I retired last summer. One of them was a guy who was 80 - yes EIGHTY - years old and still working. I was an engineer (female) and have known other engineers who have worked into their 70s and 80s and claimed it was for financial reasons. I just really can't believe that. Many of them have retired from the military or multiple companies at a time when pensions were common. Plus, there's SSN and 401k plans. So I take it with a grain of salt when a hyper-organized 80 year old engineer claims he's working for $$. I think he just can't think of anything else to do.

Besides him, I encountered others and they seemed to look upon me as a zoo animal. One (predictably) asked: WHAT DO YOU DO ALL DAY?!?!? I roughly laid out my life - spending a lot more time of self care (exercising - at least an hour a day hike while listening to audio books), reading, diving into things I never had time to do while working, tending to my HS senior, helping with my husband's business by doing bookkeeping, cooking more fresh meals instead of eating out. Most of them looked at me like I was from Mars.

At the end of the day, I started to feel like maybe there was something wrong with me. But after 37 years at the company, I was ready to do different things and had saved and planned so I could. Why is that such a crazy concept?!

Yep, youngest kid plans a law enforcement career after undergrad that with his military service (post-graduation commitment) means he could well be collecting two pensions by age 50, an approach I whole-heartedly endorse.

 

[Out of Steam]

I was at a funeral for a former colleague yesterday and saw a number of former co-workers. The 70+ holdout in my old organization is talking about retirement for the first time, planning for next year.

He says that the couple of years since I left have been difficult, and that I probably did the right thing by leaving when I did.

 

[ElizabethT]

Ah so their questioning worked - that might have been the sub-conscious goal.

I find the question reveals the lack of imagination, hobbies, activities on the part of the person asking.

Absolutely. The question is 100% a reflection on the person asking, not the person being asked.

But I will say it took some time before I stopped responding defensively to that question. Even a few years.

Now, 11 years in (59 years old currently), I simply give a Cheshire cat smile and change the subject. My life is awesome, but no need for me to gloat, right?

 

[ExFlyBoy5]

Yep, youngest kid plans a law enforcement career after undergrad that with his military service (post-graduation commitment) means he could well be collecting two pensions by age 50, an approach I whole-heartedly endorse.

+1000

Nothing like waking up on the 1st of the month with more money deposited in my account and the only thing I have to do to get it is wake up.

When I hear that people want to w*rk "forever", it makes me a little sad. To each their own of course but I have zero issues finding things to do without having someone TELLING me what to do.

...Now, 11 years in (59 years old currently), I simply give a Cheshire cat smile and change the subject. My life is awesome, but no need for me to gloat, right?

I would agree. People don't like a braggart. If people ask, I just tell 'em that there is plenty of things that keep me busy. Most folks don't pry too much, thankfully.

 

[pacergal]

I used to have lunches with a few previous co workers. One is finally retired, one still working , and one has been retired for years. We simply share what is going on in our lives.

The few times I have encountered the "what do you do all day" my pat answer is "whatever I want" with a smile. Most times, that stops them from continuing with 20 questions!

I have not been around co workers in over two years, and I don't miss it at all.

 

[Koolau]

Back when I still lived in the area, I'd often get the comment from those still at Megacorp "You're so lucky!" To which I would reply "Luck had nothing to do with it!" Full disclosure, yes, there was a BIT of luck, but it was more planning than luck though YMMV.

 

[punkinhead]

For the first couple of months after I retired I'd get text invites to a weekly after work get together at a local restaurant. It was a mix of active workers and retirees. I had never socialized with any of them outside of work before and it made no sense to me to start now since the majority of the conversation was going to be work related. It struck me as very odd that any retiree would want to participate in something like that. I have absolutely no interest whatsoever in knowing what's happening at work since I left. I do keep up with a few ex-coworkers who I shared hobbies with, but we don't talk about work. One year in and I have no idea how things are going inside the company, the status of my old job, how projects I was working on panned out, etc. And I don't care.

 

[Time2]

I wouldn't bet against it. Some of the most brilliant engineers I worked with were financial train wrecks. Buying new cars with credit, home loans, expensive vacations, divorces, and never participated in the 401k. I worked at a Megacorp that went bankrupt in 2008 and the pension was discontinued and turned over to the PBGC. Lots of wailing and gnashing of teeth from people who were making 6 figures but living paycheck to paycheck and were counting on the pension because they've never saved anything for themselves. Engineers and executives who had planned to retire in their 50's were suddenly on a course to work until they die. And as I said, these were very intelligent people and good engineers.

Makes me wonder if there is a market for an insurance product to protect against losing your pension. I have a friend that lost his when Wang folded.

 

[punkinhead]

Makes me wonder if there is a market for an insurance product to protect against losing your pension. I have a friend that lost his when Wang folded.

In the case I was talking about they didn't lose the benefits they'd accumulated, but the pension was frozen at its current funding level when the PBGC inherited it. So, for example, if a worker was 40 years old when the pension was frozen they will only get a fraction of what they expected when they retire at 62. The worst hit were the ones who retired in their early to mid 50's just before the bankruptcy. The PBGC drastically cut benefits for early retirees so those people had their pensions reduced to the point that most of them had to go back to work. They'd have been fine if they'd have been saving in a 401k during their working years but they'd counted on the pension and lived paycheck to paycheck with no thoughts of the future.

 

[GalaxyBoy]

The few times I have encountered the "what do you do all day" my pat answer is "whatever I want" with a smile. Most times, that stops them from continuing with 20 questions!

Ditto. If they insist on pursuing it I start listing the things I don’t do any more, like working weekends, catching 5:00 AM flights, missing birthdays at home, performance evaluations, etc.

 

[CardsFan]

Pre-Covid we had an informal bi-weekly lunch with retirees and RIT'S (Retirees in training). I rather enjoyed it. Yes there was some talk about the company, but we had all worked there 25 + years, so we were interested. We also talked a lot about the stuff discussed here. Investments, SS, Medical insurance, etc. We also talked about the trips we were taking, and getting ideas on where to go next.

There has been no chatter about re-starting this, so I am afraid it is over, but I do miss it.