Things To Do Before You Die

[John Galt]

I had the "job of a lifetime" just fall in my lap. But, I was
already 53 years old and in my head/heart I was
long gone. Turned it down flat. No regrets.

John Galt

 

[Jarhead*]

Another group is not exactly retired. They are non-working spouses of workers. This may be nice work if you can get it, but I would imagine also has its stresses, both current and possible. Like becoming a non-working ex-spouse.

Mikey: Excellent post, and good advice to that young poster.
About 20 years ago, one of my co-workers, then age 41, married an anesthesiologist. He retired two years later. His wife still has a practice, and he is still "retired".
If he would have had access to this board years ago, he was the type of person that would have painted a wonderful picture of "early retirement".
Not making judgement calls, as whatever works for a married couple, (especially with the divorce rate is as high as it is), is up to them.
As you stated, reading between the lines is in order for a lot of young posters.

 

[John Galt]

This is a good issue (ERed with a working spouse).
I ERed when I was married, then was ERed and
single for 3 years and then remarried. My current spouse has always worked (5 years younger). Not too sure how long this will continue but it has not been a
problem so far. Now, my ex, thinks it is just awful that
my dear wife gets up and goes to work while I loaf.
Just one reason she is my "ex"

John Galt

 

[SDY888]

Here are the major items on my list:

Be a good Dad and a good Husband.
Have a second child.
Get the kids education fund fully financed before they first attend school.
Teach an illiterate adult to read and write.
Learn Mandarin Chinese.

Spend a month in a Tibetan Monastery.
Take the Train from Hong Kong to Moscow (HK to Beijing Express - Trans Manchurian Railway - Trans-Siberian Railway).
Visit Northern Scandinavia to see the Aurora Borealis.
Drive the Paris - Dakar Rally (or alternatively, drive the route of the Paris - Dakar Rally the week after!)
Drive a camper van from Perth to Melbourne to Darwin.
Visit the Taj Mahal.
See the Pyramids and the Valley of the Kings in Egypt and Petra in Jordan and then travel the Silk Road through the Middle East and Central Asia to China
See the Okavango Delta and the Ngorogoro
Visit Machu Picchu and other Inca regions
Visit the Grand Canyon.
Visit Tristan da Cunha.
Smoke a pre-Castro Cohiba Esplendido in Havana.
Build my own retirement house (in Southern France).

Simon888

 

[Bob_Smith]

One thing I can absolutely tell you from my own experience. I read what some here say they spend, and I think it must be in some other universe.

Good post Mikey (as usual). Another thing I've noticed: We often see folks post a list of their assets along with a request for input. They sometimes get advice to "quit now", despite a lack of important information about them (age, expenses/location, family obligations, health care access, investment knowledge, pension details, risk tolerance, etc.). There's a lot of advice dispensed here, but it often provides only a tiny sliver of the whole picture based upon some very individualized circumstances that may not apply to the advice seeker.

 

[sgeeeee]

Make a daily walk to the mail box, mumbling in Norwegian, pick up my dividend checks and ride my scooter to the bank to deposit the checks.

Martha

Ah Ha. . . unclemick's Norwegian widow has come forward. Now maybe we can hear the details of that story he keeps alluding to.

Of course another possibility is that now that unclemick has gone insane, maybe Martha is just another one of his personalites.

 

[unclemick]

Sigh ---- one more time ---over thirty years ago, perhaps more, after one of those market downturns - ? 66 ? - a financial editorial in a Pacific Northwest paper? Seattle? - rediscovered dividends - aka a thrify Nowegian will put a Scotsman to shame - has the patience wait by the mailbox for her dividend checks. Like Mark Twain - there are versions, the fog of memory, and embelishments in the retelling.

When I got off the kingergaren bus in 1948. by the mailboxes in Kelso - her name was Wright(aka Andersen) - years later - she paid decently and on time to mow her lawn.

History (in contrast to tall tales) records.
Gerald Weiss started Investment Quality Trends around 1967 - didn't write: Dividends Don't Lie until 1988?

Heh, heh - Probably not Norwegian and lived in Califirnia - Hmmm - go figure.

I get Moneypaper(Vita Nelson) for my DRIP list and Mergent's Dividend Achievers to winnow it down.

Real stocks are best picked by women - they are better investors.

Men have hormones and fun stocks -like Warren Buffett's 215 orangutans in his 1984 Columbia University lecture or Ben Graham's Postscript in his 4th ed., Intelligent Investor.

 

[azanon]

The topic os this post was things to do before you die. Not things to do after you are retired.

Yes it was, but when i opened the thread to read what the original poster had to say, here was his first comment: "I've never understood why more people don't have a goal to retire early." ...... Sorry, didnt know it was off limits to maybe try and answer/expand on that.

Mikey, great response btw, and it was insightful. With regards to your suggestion to me of reading between the lines, I often get in trouble when i'm presumptious, and really didnt see the harm in asking that straight up given the inherent anonymonity of a message board. Your response to me was very insightful and I dont think I would have picked up on all of that had I not asked.

 

[John Galt]

It's pretty easy for me to pick the Number One "thing
to do before I die". It's to raise the best kids possible
(that task is almost complete) and then to maintain
the best possible relationship with them. Nothing in my
life can be more important than that.

John Galt

 

[Jarhead*]

Cutthroat:

I wasn't taking a shot at anybody on my post. If you read Mikeys post, and my answer to it, was that you had to be careful when taking advice from someone on the board, because the playing field is not always level.
By the way, I noticed that you had added to your original post.
It is not required that you explain your situation to anybody on this board. What works for you and your wife is your business.

I either did not explain my intent of my post, or you mis-interpred it. In any case, I am going to drop back ten yards and punt from this discussion.
Regards, Jarhead

 

[haha]

Thanks Jarhead, Bob Smith and Azanon for your comments.

In many ways these boards are like real life. One can all too easily step in doo-doo and accidentally offend.

I don't want to offend anybody, and when I say something it rarely if ever is in specific reference to any other individual on the board. Unless of course I am feeling hurt myself.

Mikey

 

[riverrat]

Just wondering if any of you feel a kind of anxiety about not doing all or some of the things on your to-do list. My list is quite long and it includes doin nothing and just relaxing which can conflict with gettin to the active part of the list like snorkeling in Hawaii, or kayaking a river I haven't done or sightseeing.

My list of things to do falls into in three general categories - passive, active and adventure.

Passive=tv, computer, reading...
Active = hiking, ball games, museums, day trippin...
Adventure= kayaking, scuba diving, snorkeling, or tryin something new I haven't done before but would like to try ie caving, sky diving, bungee jumpin.

Besides all these self-centered things I want to do and experience comes a more important need to do some good for others just be a good husband, Dad, and grandfather.

After two months of retirement I'm finding that life is quite busy even without working 40hrs/wk. Now I'm off over the hill to Santa Cruz with my wife and our little dog.

 

[Nords]

Just a little anxious now.

Just wondering if any of you feel a kind of anxiety about not doing all or some of the things on your to-do list.

I used to but now my spouse is handling that job just fine. I think the first couple years of ER unleash a tremendous push to catch up on everything you've been denied during your "working" years.

And sometimes it's just trying to recover from being programmed to eat your vegetables before you reward yourself with dessert. I usually awake at 4 AM with my brain racing to start the day. It lasts until about noon, then after a nap I'm able to relax & take it easy. In ER, it's my fault if there's too much on my plate.

After two months of retirement I'm finding that life is quite busy even without working 40hrs/wk.

I still can't comprehend how I did everything that needed doing and still "found" the time to go to work. Clearly something was being neglected, but what?!?

 

[cute fuzzy bunny]

I dont think anything was neglected. I just move a hell of a lot slower now and do things differently.

I also used to pay a lot of people to do a lot of stuff I do myself now.

 

[John Galt]

Being a total Type A, I have to continuously
restrain myself from adding to my TO-DO list
and/or trying to do it all in one day, like I did
for decades. I also have to remember that doing nothing is really doing something. Today for example
I have done almost nothing really productive
(well, I fed the dogs )
I slept very late and then fished until about 2 p.m.
Came home and cleaned the fish (7), putzed on
the computer, and now I am going to clean up
and get ready to dine with friends later. That was
my day. It's a pretty good life.

John Galt

 

[gayl]

Don't put your list in concrete. Once you retire, your world is going to open like you've never seen it.  Flexibility and open-mindedness is key to enjoying things that you've not dreamed of yet.

Couldn't agree more! Plus the list keeps expanding! Mine has expanded from:

• travel to
  • Israel (again)
  • Central America (again)
  • African photo safari
• play more with grandson's & become active in their schools
• volunteer with agencies that I deem worthwhile
• start a small tax preparation business

to:

• travels:
  • Panama Cruise covering Central America <did w/i 2 months of retiring this spring>
  • New England <Oct '04>
  • Fall in British Isles with old friend who moved there <changed to next spring>
  • Israel
  • Khyber Pass <India>
  • Spend Ca winter in Australia with friend who moved there
  • African Safari will happen sometime ... just don't know when
• remodel house
• keep learning how to play all over

Humph! : Wonder where the small business fits in? And I'm discovering that being on 2 volunteer boards while remodeling seems a lot like work. 8)

 

[gayl]

Take me for instance;  i'm a federal employee.  By the time i have just 15 years tenure, i'll get max leave and only have to work 36 hrs/week if you count leave, and even less if you count federal holidays off.  I made and underwent major sacrifices (schooling, costs) to have a GS-12 job at the age of only 30.

Ive read some of those lists and I cant help but wonder why you guys cant do a lot of those things while working.  Do I just have an unusual job, that includes leave and no more than standard full time?  Perhaps ER isnt really appropriate for a job like mine.  Perhaps ER is only for hard jobs and/or ones with high stress/long work hours.

I was a county employee, technically in mgmt but really a single person department. Worked 50+ hours a week with no overtime pay. Yes, I got the vacation hours. But, without coverage, I never managed to get more than a week off at a time. Makes it a little difficult to spend the fall in England / Scotland / Ireland or Dec-Feb in Australia. I was always on 'use it or lose it' which is where you do not collect any more vacation hours because you have too many on the books. Still, many do manage to get 2+ weeks off and probably last a lot longer than I did.

 

[Aurora]

Define ER

Another group is not exactly retired. They are non-working spouses of workers. This may be nice work if you can get it, but I would imagine also has its stresses, both current and possible. Like becoming a non-working ex-spouse.

I think you make a valid point. Are you REALLY retired if you are just not working and living off your working spouse? If that's the definition of retired, then I know plenty of 20 year olds who are "retired" because they are just living at home with their parents and being supported by them. In fact I know one guy who managed to save $200,000 by age 26 while living with his parents. He quit his job and still lives with his parents but doesn't spend a dime of his money except for car expenses, clothes, and entertainment. His parents pay for food, shelter and most living expenses and even gift him money when he is short. He said he is retired because his investments are earning about 4% a year ($8,000) which is what his current expenses are. However, without having the majority of his expenses being paid by his parents, he would not be "retired." He said his parent want to work and don't mind him being "retired" since he drives them long-distances once in a while and can be at home for the cable guy between 8 and 12 when they are at work.

I wonder how many people here call themselves retired, when in fact they are just not working and living off their parents or spouses, either fully or partially.

Whatever works for people is fine with me. I'm not here to criticize whatever arrangement people create for themselves. I'm just curious if ER is defined as:
1. Totally self-sufficient, and/or
2. Partly self-sufficient plus depending on someone else, and/or
3. Totally depending on someone else.

 

[John Galt]

While I recognize the large value of my wife's paycheck, I am not living off her (nor she off me). I was fully
retired for 3 years before we met and doing just fine.
Not sure how this will change in the future. Kind of taking it one day at a time for now.

John Galt

 

[haha]

Re: Define ER

Oh Pleaaaase !!- Can I still wear the F*cking Retirement Merit badge ?

Baby Snooks, you get my vote. I have seen pictures of you all over the world, making love to the shiniest, fattest, most toatally appealing fish I have ever seen.

If your wife were supporting you, she wouldn't let you go.

Mikey

 

[John Galt]

Hi Cut-Throat! CHP?? Anyway, I am sure I speak for everyone in that we hold you in high esteem. You have
permission to continue to fly our official flag

John Galt

 

[Aurora]

Re: Define ER

Who the F*ck cares, it's not like were in line for the Supreme Court or Anything. I don't care if a kid lives with his parents, if he Can explain Bond returns and Social Security laws to me!

This is a lot like asking? - Did you really make all your retirment money yourself? Or did you have a head start, because you were born in the U.S.A instead of the poorest F*cking Country on the Planet and have to work your way up?

I have not worked in 3 years - My wife Still works, but would have to work another 15 years to work as long as I do. Also she would have to add about 1/2 a Mil to the portfolio to equal what I brought to the table. So can I continue to post here, or have you decided that you are going to vote me off the island?

Oh Pleaaaase !!- Can I still wear the F*cking Retirement Merit badge ?

I don't understand your hostility. You make it sound like I care about your personal situation. I don't. I don't even know you. I didn't attack any person here including you and I certainly didn't mention you by name. I'm just asking a relevant general question in a civilized way about how people here define ER. Like I said in my original post, whatever works for people is fine with me. If I offended you somehow, I apologize.

But it sounds like you think that the ends justifies the means in that it doesn't matter how you get to the point that you don't have to work anymore. So by your answer, I take it that you are saying ER is defined as either being self-accomplished, jointly-accomplished, or accomplished by total dependency on another person.

 

[johnblake]

Re: Define ER

I'm just curious if ER is defined as:
1. Totally self-sufficient, and/or
2. Partly self-sufficient plus depending on someone else, and/or
3. Totally depending on someone else.

I have another category for you.

4. Those who carry their own weight, and then some.

 

[bruce1]

I thought this thread was better when it was actually taking about things you wanted to do before you die.

I know a couple of people who are retired and have working spouses. THeir situation is that between investments and pension the non working spouse brings in about $5500 pre tax monthly and the working spouse aboout $2500. Obviously the non working spouse needs no support from the working and they have more than enough to fully retire as a couple. Continuing to work in these cases is a matter of personal choice. The working spouse has their own investments as well (significant but not huge) and is eligable for a COLA pension

Things to do before I die maybe even before I retire

tour Yukon
learn that the worst seldom happens
visit people I have not seen for years
Tour my ancestral home in England
about a hundred other things I have not put down here.
Oh yeah learn to type.

 

[yelnad]

Cross one thing off from my list: Last week I visited the Pyramids in Giza and it was amazing!