RE - where to draw the line - tipping at restaurants versus every transaction:
No, I don't see it that way. Few such transactions are "experiences", but dining out is, IMO.
I know it's convention, I guess I just fail to see such a clear distinction.
Some individuals who go out of their way to give me exceptional service probably will get something back from us, like our Austin UPS delivery guy who was so awesome and did us special favors. Companies who create exceptional products or treat me very well get more of my business.
I tip in situations where it is expected, and in many where it makes sense but few people do. Essentially, I tip if the tippee can affect my experience, positively or negatively. Many of these people make pretty good money, it isn't charity, and it isn't "doing managements job", it's trying and usually succeeding to improve my future experiences with these same people.
I also tend to give holiday bonuses to people, many of whom have never experienced this on this coast. If my relationship with this person is very likely to be ongoing, he/she gets good tips and Holiday bonuses. And good service always gets a good tip, even if I will never see the person again. It's the reason that they are working.
Ha
Maybe I'm just a bit of a Scrooge (well, not really - I understand what you are saying), but I guess there just aren't many things like this where I feel a tip is warranted/needed, or that it would change the service level I'd get. If you do, it makes sense to do it. Maybe I'm just blind to the opportunities.
Mail Carrier, UPS, Fed Ex, garbage pickup guys/gals - they all do a pretty good job for me. If I interact with them, I always try to be pleasant, smile, maybe make a little comment/small-talk, and say 'Thanks'. If I see them coming to the door, I try to get there before them - I know time is valuable to them. I guess just show them respect. But I've never tipped them, and I pretty much expect them to do their job. It seems to be working OK for me.
I do feel maybe a tinge of guilt for the paper delivery person. I don't think they are paid much, seems like a tough job to get out there early everyday, but I also manage to ignore the envelope that they include every year this time. I don't know, I just figure if I'm paying the Tribune Company for delivery, then I'm paying for delivery. And again, where does it stop?
Oh, and to FUEGO's post - that's another thing about restaurant tips - a % of the bill versus how much work they did. Again, it just seems so arbitrary. A glass of water is about the same work as a glass and bottle of beer. Sometimes a cheaper entree is more work for them than an expensive one. Makes no sense - why not a flat rate per item or something, then adjust that for service level received?
I guess I'm just trying to be too logical. As Leonard instructed Penny to tell Sheldon when he goes on about such things: 'It's a sub-optimal social convention'. Sheldon: 'Oh, OK'.
-ERD50