NW-Bound
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
- Joined
- Jul 3, 2008
- Messages
- 35,712
I was so excited to read REWahoo’s suggestion of using “delayed gratification clamps” ...
... I discovered the closest pair of clamps were at Neiman Marcus. I rushed right over (darn, just where is that delayed gratification when you need it)?...
...But the problem is, these clamps didn’t come with instructions—except on how to clean the leather. And, REWahoo didn’t really explain how to use these things. Eventually, after a lot of trial and error I figured out what to clamp the clamps to—but, they kept slipping off (wow, was that an eerie/panicky deja vue moment that I’d like to forget)...
...Anyhow, eventually my neighbor came up with the idea of using duct tape to keep the clamps from slipping off. But, now with the clamps on, well, it causes me walk with a peculiar gait. When people ask me about the brand-new hitch in my step, I simply explain that I’m wearing delayed gratification clamps so that I can retire early...
Huh? The clamps, if of the right size, should not need to be held on with duct tape. Nor should they cause you to walk funny... Something is very wrong...
Could it be?....
OMG! The sales lady did not tell you? Oh yes, the presence of all those semi-precious stones explains it...
You bought the clamps that were meant for WOMEN! Those, I will have to break the news to you, are installed in a different manner, and in a different place.
Oh no! Stop immediately, or your deformity will be permanent.