What you are doing to lower holiday stress?

[Lsbcal]

DW and I decided to buy gifts openly rather then surprise gifts that we had to figure out and wrap. For us this is a new take on open marriages. So we bought some Amazon Echo's for our rooms (her art room and my den). Then we just bought a cordless vacuum to make a hated task a little bit easier in some areas of the house. We also made a trip to REI near us and bought comfy tops to wear. No need to guess and stress and deal with returns.

And we are going out more just to relax. Went out to lunch yesterday at an Asian Noodle place. But we're keeping up the exercise too.

Also we are just about to make a few extra charitable donations to feel less guilty about our good fortune.

We have a very small family with nobody in town here so it will be a very quite period with just a few phone calls. Will not travel in this cold time of year.

What are others here doing? Any great low stress ideas?




P.S. Happy holidays!!!

 

[travelover]

This year we gave a chunk of money to help a local family in tough times and are only exchanging token gifts between DW and I. Ditto with kids.


Less stress and no needless buying when we need nothing.

 

[ckelly78z]

We usually have a relaxing day at home with my DD, and her new husband, my DS, and his SO, along with my inlaws. Thanksgiving is a big traditional meal that we all pitch in to help prepare, and serve, and Christmas lately has been my DW's world famous prime rib, with sides, and a few drinks. Our family always seems to get along, so no drunken outbursts, or unnecessary drama. We play card games after dinner, and all enjoy ourselves.

After 31 years of marriage, we don't get each other big gifts, just a few small things to unwrap, and fill a stocking.

 

[pacergal]

Thanksgiving is a traditional meal, anyone is invited and brings a side dish.
For Christmas, I buy gifts for grandkids early, kids get token gifts and $.
With other family members, we do a gift card and white elephant/goofy gift exchange. Lots of laughter.
DH and I don't exchange gifts anymore, Luckily, we can get what we want anytime. We will go out to a really nice expensive restaurant meal in Nov and Dec for birthdays.
Meals are usually pot luck, simple fare for Christmas gatherings x2 for immediate family and extended.
Much more relaxed, casual and fun.
NY Eve we are at home and have appetizers, usually in bed before midnight!
Retirement is all about low to no stress for me. I just don't get bothered much anymore

 

[LOL!]

I gave up on holiday stress maybe 40 years ago. I just go with the flow, but don't contribute anything to it at all. For instance, I got invited to breakfast tomorrow, so I'm going.

 

[brett]

I absolutely avoid all shopping centers. Bought gifts for our grandchildren on line and will have them delivered to their out of town location.

We no longer buy each other gifts. My children make a donation to the food bank at my request rather than giving me a gift. I am an oldie,,,68. Anything I need or want I already have. Besides, it saves me returning something to the store or pretending that the whatsit is wonderful and just what I have always wanted.

Helped out a relative and we donate to the food bank quarterly. That is the extent of it.

Humbug!

 

[Moemg]

I really cut down on the decorating to just a tree and a wreath. We used to have a giant Christmas Eve party but we passed it on to the kids . They do an odd job but it is okay . Three couples get together Christmas day and we all do one course . It works out great and we have a lot of fun.New Years is an early dinner and home before midnight .

 

[Dtail]

A little sad, but since we are not near family, there is no real stress for the holidays.
Plus how much stress is there really when being retired?

 

[HadEnuff]

I never bought into the concept of "Holiday Stress". To me, it is the result of trying to make the Holidays live up to some unreal, unattainable level of "joy" depicted in movies, and songs. FOMO at it's most destructive.
I have known many folks, usually moms, who start feeling it in October, worrying about Thanksgiving, and Christmas, and "if I don't do it nobody will"... ugh...

Do less, enjoy more. Enjoy your family, your friends. Bake some cookies. R*E*L*A*X...

 

[W2R]

What are others here doing? Any great low stress ideas?

We don't exchange gifts with each other, and simply buy gift cards for immediate family. So, no Christmas shopping at all. Usually we each buy ourselves a Christmas present during the week or two after Christmas, and sometimes find some good sales at that time.

We go to a Christmas Eve dinner at a private room in an Italian restaurant with 30-50 members of his extended family, and then see his immediate family briefly on Christmas Day as well. We are agnostic, so neither of us attends church even at this time of year.

We don't decorate our houses for the holidays. We don't play Christmas music or send Christmas cards or wear Christmas themed clothing or jewelry, and I don't cook for the holidays, either, not even Christmas cookies. We have both "been there done that" when we were younger, paid our dues, and figure that in our old age we deserve to relax and do what we want at this time of year.

We used to drive around the neighborhood and look at Christmas lights at other people's houses, but we don't even do that any more either. Basically we try to replicate our normal daily activities and follow our usual schedule as much as possible. We try to be especially caring towards each other because it's a stressful time of year for everyone.

On New Year's Eve, he will probably be working at his part time "fun job" at the bar. I'll stay home and watch the ball drop over Times Square on television.

 

[24601NoMore]

We have a large family, so there's a LOT of people to buy for..30+ in all. And that doesn't even count friends that we exchange gifts with, people we tip at Christmas with gift cards or other small things, etc. Makes the months and weeks before Christmas a bit stressful for sure, trying to figure out what in the heck to get all those people AND pay for it all. It's a pretty big line item in our annual budget even though we only spend < $50 per person on average.

I envy those of you that don't buy for many people, for sure..

 

[Bir48die]

I absolutely avoid all shopping centers. Bought gifts for our grandchildren on line and will have them delivered to their out of town location.

We no longer buy each other gifts. My children make a donation to the food bank at my request rather than giving me a gift. I am an oldie,,,68. Anything I need or want I already have. Besides, it saves me returning something to the store or pretending that the whatsit is wonderful and just what I have always wanted.

Helped out a relative and we donate to the food bank quarterly. That is the extent of it.

Humbug!

I used to live about a mile and a half from a major mall. Moved a few miles away but my gym is on one of the exits to the mall. Starting on Thanksgiving weekend I had the "circle of avoidance" where I would go off hours to the gym and stay at least a half mile away from the mall until after Christmas. Well, now in a period of a few years I no longer fear the mall. Due to online shopping it has totally cleared out and I can get to the gym easily.

To reduce stress I stay off the roads at peak hours like many of my older friends (I live near a couple large corporate headquarters and it's game on during prime time). I shop online a ton. Tonight it's two of the grandkids Christmas (can I say that?) music program. First and third grade. Watching the teachers herd them all and there's always a few characters on stage so it's fun and a crackup.

 

[Dawg52]

The only holiday stress I ever experienced was when I was working. Lot's of year end headaches at my old job. But....that's a thing of the past.

 

[athena53]

My holidays are pretty simple. Adults don't give to each other in my family (except maybe spouses to each other) but of course parents buy for small kids. I won't see DS and family over Christmas because I'll be in SC with widowed Dad and siblings, but every year I give them a Costco Executive Club membership and this year for the second time I took them all (DS, DDIL, granddaughters ages 5 and 3 and new baby brother) to the Sugarplum Fairy Ball put on by the KC Ballet- a kid-friendly lunch with entertainment by the student dancers. I'm waiting till the kids are all old enough to take them to the actual ballet. So- I don't buy Stuff, even for the kids- DDIL's side takes care of that! I do put $$ in their 529s.

I know many people have quit sending cards. So have I but I continue a tradition I started in 1975, my first year away from my home town after college. I hand-write 2-page letters to friends and family I don't see very often. The list has evolved, of course- many original recipients are long gone, but I'm adding the next generation and including a page of pictures taken over the past year. People love them and I find them a nice counterpoint to the frantic shopping and spending most people do.

I do almost no decoration although I enjoy what others do, especially the lights. The decorations, ugly Christmas sweaters, lights, inflatables, etc. are all made in a country with all kinds of violation of religious and other human rights, which I find ironic for a holiday that is religious for many people.

 

[jollystomper]

- For 25+ years my siblings and our spouses have agreed that we do not need to exchange holiday gifts. DW's siblings agreed to that 10 years ago. That cuts out dealing with 20+ gifts right there.

- All of our our nieces and nephews are at the age where they are fine with gift cards, so it is simple to buy a bunch of them and dole them out. They appreciate it just as much. For our nieces and nephews with families, a gift card to some type of recreation/entertainment venue they love, and those are very easy to find for them.

- Anything that needs to be mailed to relatives we get out at least 10 days beforehand. In fact I'll be wrapping presents tonight while watching the NFL game in my man cave, and either tomorrow or Saturday morning they will be on their way.

- We only send out cards to family and friends that live far away whom we do not see frequently. I never saw the point of sending cards to friends in ones community that one sees almost every day or week.

- We have used the same artificial tree for 15+ years... essentially when kids starting moving out and making it tougher to go out and buy/cut down and haul home a tree. Easy setup with lights and garland in less than an hour. ornaments are hung over a period of days, as we find the time to do it.

- I do enjoy hanging lights outside, it is a pleasant low-stress activity for me. I keep it simple, maybe 5-6 strands of 100 lights, hooks already installed, nothing higher than what I can reach standing on a sturdy stepladder. Also have a couple of those light projectors. Less than an hour to set everything up.

- I do like to go out to see the stores and malls during the season, but now being retired I go out early in the morning to get out of those places by early afternoon. It has been years since I went out in the evening.

- We donate all through the year, so no feeling that we have to do anything different this month.

The key for us it to get everything done at least a week before Christmas. Then that week becomes one of leisure and relaxation. When I worked I usually would take week before Christmas off and get everything done then. Now THAT was stress. As long as I start early, it makes things much more relaxing and (given the way we do things above) little stress.

 

[Chuckanut]

I celebrate all 12 days of Christmas, starting on 12/25 and ending on 1/6. That's plenty of time to spread out the gift giving, visits to friends, etc. etc. etc.

Just because retailers turn Christmas OFF at 12:01 AM on Dec 26, doesn't mean we have to go along with this revisionist anti-tradition.

 

[HFWR]

Not religious, and thus don’t celebrate any particular religious occasion. Most of what causes “stress” during Christmas, as with many of its traditions, has little to do with religion anyway.

 

[Ronstar]

I used to make a lot of woodworking gifts for Christmas. It was a little stressful getting the gifts done in time. This year I cut back to only a couple. And I’m making sure that they are simple. So the only possible stress that I could be subject to is if I screw up smoking the Christmas brisket.

 

[travelover]

Not religious, and thus don’t celebrate any particular religious occasion. Most of what causes “stress” during Christmas, as with many of its traditions, has little to do with religion anyway.

What? Consumerism is not a religion?

 

[aaronc879]

I quit my job last Friday. Major stress relief. It is so nice not to have to go to work every day. I am not FI but have savings and spend very little, so very little stress. I don't shop for anything for myself or anyone else, don't host any get-togethers, and don't do any decorating so no added stress during the holidays for me.

 

[ATX78701]

DB and I stopped swapping gifts years ago at my suggestion. I never knew what he wanted and he always sent a package of Omaha steaks and hamburgers which usually sat in the freezer for months. Regarding DM, I finally let go of the expectation that I would receive anything I liked or would find useful. This year she sent early gifts of cheap crap from QVC. It’s the thought that counts, so I appreciate it but it’s already in the charity stack. As far as gifts for her, the woman who has everything or could buy whatever she wants, I realized she just wants packages to open. A trip to a dollar store let’s me find plenty of items to satisfy her need. I wish she would join DB and me in the non gift giving camp, but that’s not going to happen. Some years I put up a tree and decorate if I feel like it (last year) and other I don’t (this year). I gave up holiday cards years ago and no longer desire to be invited to parties every weekend.

 

[Bestwifeever]

Our Christmas will be low key this year. I just now ordered Christmas dinner from a nearby upscale market for our party of eight (two small kids, two vegetarians), to pick up Christmas eve morning. We are going to be out of town until midnight on 12/22, and this seemed to be the easiest and tastiest solution. We have a small tree--4 ft., tops--on the deck that we'll bring into the house and we are decorating it with popcorn and cranberry garlands and hanging small cookies on it. I won't be surprised to see our little dog or a mouse enjoying Christmas snacking....

We give toys and clothes to the littles based on the parents' recommendations; we have given a nice check to our two kids for the past few years along with a small token gift. DH and I "give" each other whatever we want all year long, if there is anything, but we try to have something under the tree for each other. December has DH's birthday and our anniversary and Christmas within ten days of each other, so the gift-giving would be ridiculous if we waited til then to give gifts to each other.

I wish the season started with Christmas Eve and ran through the twelve days, but I guess that ship sailed long ago. Looking forward to January.

 

[audreyh1]

DH and I don’t buy each other Xmas gifts. Around Black Friday week we each buy what we want for ourselves!

 

[Calico]

I have a few members of my extended family who live locally, and we see each other often during the year, not just at the holidays.

Many years ago we agreed not to exchange gifts between the adults. Kids under 21 do get gifts. Also, pets are considered kids in my extended family, so we are allowed to get goofy presents for each others pets if the mood strikes!

One cousin has a 12-year-old daughter; I get her a $25 card for Justice and a $25 dollar card for Claire's. She's a great kid who has been a big part of my life since she was born, and spending more time with her at this time of year is the best gift of all. We usually go to whatever the "Christmas movie" is for kids, either on Christmas Day or the next day. We love it, and it gives her parents a break.

Another cousin has a 20-year-old son, and I give him $50 cash, which is much appreciated as he is a college student and can always find a use for $50.

Good friends of mine have a 12-year-old son, and I get him a $25 gift card to Target or Gamestop or something similar.

My entire Christmas shopping takes about 30 minutes, because the grocery store carries all the gift cards, and one trip to the bank to get $50 and I'm done! It's not low stress, it's no stress!

I don't decorate the house or send out cards or have company over Christmas. For the Christmas meal, local family members alternate between a low-key potluck at a cousin's house or lunch at the very nice CCRC in town where my elderly aunt and uncle live. This year it's the CCRC.

My birthday is Christmas Eve, and I have a longstanding tradition of buying myself "a little something" for my birthday. Usually a hard cover book I wouldn't normally splurge on, or something equivalent to that. In December of 2008 I bought a new Honda Fit, so that took care of the birthday gifts to myself for the next 10 years! I'll be driving that car for another 10-15 years.

A few days ago I suddenly realized those 10 years had passed, so I went crazy and bought myself two jigsaw puzzles from PuzzleWarehouse.com for my birthday. Never let it be said I don't know how to party at the holidays.

Whatever holidays you celebrate, I wish everyone here low-stress, no-drama holidays spent with the people you love.

 

[rk911]

well, we generally don't participate in the uproar. we don't exchange gifts with most family and friends and those that insist the gifts are of the $5-$10 variety. we remember our service providers...lawn crew, snow crew, postman, house cleaner, garage mechanics, etc. house decorations...wreath on front door. table top tree that my wife and BIL take care of.

i grew up in a family that was well meaning but went waaaaay overboard at christmas. the first time i spent christmas with my then-girlfriend and now my wife it was culture shock. what presents there were came out of a paper bag and were passed around from person to person until it found a home. candy bars, bars of soap, socks, etc. unsigned cards were passed out to be read, passed around and then returned to the "sender" for use next year! very low key and stress free. i loved it! it was more about family than stuff.