Who knows how much you make? (outside of work)

[tmm99]

I cannot imagine anybody asking me how much I make. How does a question like that come about?? Would they say, like "you must make at least this much" and you'd say, "oh no, you are way off; I make this much"?

So far, nobody has ever asked me how much I make, and I've never asked anybody else how much they make (although some have volunteered their information.)

Just curious..(actually VERY curious..)

 

[FANOFJESUS]

I cannot imagine anybody asking me how much I make. How does a question like that come about?? Would they say, like "you must make at least this much" and you'd say, "oh no, you are way off; I make this much"?

So far, nobody has ever asked me how much I make, and I've never asked anybody else how much they make (although some have volunteered their information.)

Just curious..(actually VERY curious..)

I think they do just in a modern way they ask you what you do for a living. I think they make a good guess on salary from there. Notice how quick that question comes up. Some people I meet that question is in the top three.

 

[Gumby]

My salary is on the web, in a search able database...

Mine too. When I was in private practice, it was a closely guarded secret. As an interesting aside, the young wife has no idea how much she gets paid, let alone what I make.

 

[kypix]

What would I tell them? I don't even know how much I make.

No salary. 100% commission.
Plus rental income - 20 houses.
Capital gains varies each year.

Difference between 2005 and 2007 AGI was 6 figures.

 

[kumquat]

let alone what I make.

So, how much does an administrator make?

 

[Janet H]

So, how much does an administrator make?

You should see the benefits package....

 

[bssc]

DW does and I know how much she makes. My parents know how much we are worth since they are trustees for our cats in case we pass away.

People at work know what pay band I am in, since we are all in the same general band.

 

[smjsl]

Salary ranges for programmers are pretty well defined

Not from my experience. Depends on your level, industry and location. I've known folks in $40k-150k range, heard from multiple sources numbers of 180k and 250k salaries; and then there was one guy interviewing me a for Symantec position back around 10 years ago said he had an offer in Europe for a "7-figure salary" (I guess he was at the top of the "programmer" chain; he was not a manager)... None of these are from consulting, all are W2 salaries. Consulting can get larger of course.

How does a question like that come about??

Almost never comes up for me but does on occasion.

I have some curious family members. E.g. a teen nephew asks me from time to time. (Thus, my question about when to tell children.)

Also had an acquaintance who was very curious (we are in the same field but very different companies) and he tried to pressure me a lot. Then he said how much he made trying to make me share my number... which I really did not want to do after realizing I was making quite a bit more... (I ended up saying "more than $X", where X was about $10k more than his number.)

 

[Ed_The_Gypsy]

I plan to give a presentation to my kids (24 & 22) soon. I want to give them a graphic example of personal finance to motivate them. Included will be retirement and what I have learned about investing. (Also to disabuse them of any notion that there will be a big pot of gold in the inheritance.)

I think it will curl their hair.

 

[GoodSense]

DH, our accountant, and the IRS. I don't tell my close friends but I think they have a general idea, since we used to work together in the public sector, and I have said that my recent job change didn't come with a big raise.

The topic of salary rarely comes up amongst my friends. Besides that, my MIL has told us how much she made because we were helping her with retirement planning. We never told her how much we made.

As for our networth, only DH and I know. I am absolutely protective of that information. Even though our NW is very low on this board, it's high compared with my real-life friends. I see no need sharing that.

 

[harley]

Once it became clear to me that upper management didn't want us talking about our pay levels, I was willing to tell anyone who indicated curiosity. I never cared who knew, especially since most of us were in a fairly similar range. It wasn't how much I made, but how much I saved that mattered. Only a few knew that part. DW, best friend...that may be it.

 

[CyclingInvestor]

Not from my experience. Depends on your level, industry and location. I've known folks in $40k-150k range, heard from multiple sources numbers of 180k and 250k salaries; and then there was one guy interviewing me a for Symantec position back around 10 years ago said he had an offer in Europe for a "7-figure salary" (I guess he was at the top of the "programmer" chain; he was not a manager)... None of these are from consulting, all are W2 salaries. Consulting can get larger of course.

Wow. All the salaries I knew (mostly in the LA area) were bunched from 15K-20K back in 1979 for 0yrs experience to 90K-135K in 2006 for 10-30yrs experience.

 

[Spanky]

Once it became clear to me that upper management didn't want us talking about our pay levels, I was willing to tell anyone who indicated curiosity. I never cared who knew, especially since most of us were in a fairly similar range. It wasn't how much I made, but how much I saved that mattered. Only a few knew that part. DW, best friend...that may be it.

Agreed - management definitely does not like the idea of sharing salary level among employees to prevent them from asking more or keep them content at their current pay (or compensation) level. Personally, I do not mind sharing salary info when asked as it is NOT a secret based on the type of work and experience.

 

[Orchidflower]

Amazingly, I had clients try to guess my profit margin on advertising we produced more than you would think. I always thought that was weird. I mean, what were they going to do with that information? The ads weren't going down in price, and they couldn't do it. I usually low-balled it anyway so they weren't getting true information (you always want them to think you make less than you were).

Anyway, how do you figure out how much someone's creativity is worth? Really now?

 

[BUM]

My wife, our accountant and the IRS.

Nobody, not even the IRS

 

[Moscyn]

Only DH. No point telling anyone else even when they ask. Firstly, none of their business and secondly, it only leads to trouble. I have been asked point blank before by close relatives but I just say "not much" and switch subject.

 

[av8er]

I've been in the Army in some form for the last 17 years...my pay has always been public record (Military Pay Tables).

 

[Retch The Grate]

I discuss job offers with my network of friends to get their advice and feedback, so people often know the numbers that I am mulling over. I'm perfectly willing to discuss the numbers with my coworkers who want to share salary info so we can be better informed for negotiating raises/new jobs.

I don't see being any less open about my net worth and income once I manage to reach FIRE, it will be useful info for my friends for them figuring out when and how they will be done too.

 

[Prime]

My wife knows and the IRS. I have a feeling that my MIL was told just based on comments she's made. My parents know ballpark figures. Hasn't really come up among friends. People at work can get really close if they wanted.

 

[Meadbh]

I've shared what I earn during negotiations about job offers, as the low point of a desired salary range.

 

[template]

Who do (or did) you share your salary and other compensation with?

I am retired. Before retirement, my wife was the only person with whom I shared salary info.

Were there cases when you shared this info with others but then were sorry that you did?

Oh man.

Besides my wife and brother, I've disclosed info about our net worth to 3 friends. I regret discussing our net worth with 2 of those 3 friends and won't share net worth info with others.

1) One friend suggested we "trade" net worth info and so we did. We were both surprised at how different our nets worths were because we were close in age, both LBYM adherents, had similar family situations, and had worked in the same field. I sensed that he harbored some hard feelings after we swapped the info.

2) Another friend my age turned out to be a slacker, mooched off his parents, work only when it suited him, and had no ambition or financial sense. He piled up a mountain of debt after his parents passed away and he began a relentless campaign asking me for money to bail him out. He became hostile and threatened me with extortion at one point.

3) A third friend is money savvy and we are able to discuss financial topics rationally, without any negative side effects or hard feelings.

 

[simple girl]

I told a very good friend my salary but other than that, only DH and I know our income.

My eldest brother (14 yrs my senior) asked me point blank one night (after several drinks and discussing investing) what our net worth was. I was surprised and blurted it out without thinking. I then immediately proceeded to ask him his net worth (tit for tat!). His was about 1/2 ours and was mostly based upon equity in his house. I think he was impressed, happy for our success, but I'm sure a bit surprised given that he is older and his salary is more than ours combined. (He openly shared his salary with us at his last promotion. He is much more open about money than us.) He has 2 kids and his expenses are much higher than ours. LBYM, LBYM, LBYM!

 

[simple girl]

Besides my wife and brother, I've disclosed info about our net worth to 3 friends. I regret discussing our net worth with 2 of those 3 friends and won't share net worth info with others.


2) Another friend my age turned out to be a slacker, mooched off his parents, work only when it suited him, and had no ambition or financial sense. He piled up a mountain of debt after his parents passed away and he began a relentless campaign asking me for money to bail him out. He became hostile and threatened me with extortion at one point.

YIKES. Very scary. Another reason to keep quiet about NW!

 

[Spanky]

YIKES. Very scary. Another reason to keep quiet about NW!

The problem, however, is who you consider as a friend. A "true" friend does not extort, harm or hurt you and support you in every way during both good and bad times.

 

[WM]

We've shared ballpark figures with each of our only siblings (I would have to put some effort into figuring exact numbers). They are both good with money and each make substantially more than we do, so no hard feelings there. I can't remember if my parents have ever asked, but it would be fine to tell them, they ER'd last year. All of this group are good conversation partners about finances, to compare notes and such. Same for net worth.

DH's parents were not especially good with money and DH has mentioned to me that he doesn't want his mom knowing what he makes or how much we have because he's worried she'd feel slighted or resentful if we didn't share more with her (FIL is deceased). She doesn't ask. I think she will not know what to think if/when we FIRE after DH's 20 years of military service are completed.

A couple other close friends know of our plans to ER, but numbers have never come up. Other family (who mostly have very little knowledge or experience with the military) seem to be somewhat expecting that DH will retire on his military pension. If numbers came up with that crowd I suppose we would share, as his military pension will be less than most of them earn and we will be able to honestly say that we are mostly living on that.