Our local police log is so hysterical, I keep a separate log of the best. Here's just a very few over the years: (I've redacted the street names)
At 7:56 a.m., a XXX Street crossing guard reported to police that a boy in a car with his mother said he had seen a man in the woods wearing camouflage and scaring children. The principal was notified, and police scoured the woods without results. A teacher said the boy was in the eighth grade and she had never seen him panic like this. The principal re-interviewed the student, who was unable to add anything. At 1:30 p.m., police determined that a tree stump had been misidentified as a man wearing camouflage.
A XXXXX Street woman called police, at 8:30 p.m., to notify them of a suspicious blue cooler with a white top sitting by the sidewalk. She said it wasn’t there when she went by earlier. She said she was concerned because of all the kooks out there. An officer responded that there were no coolers in the area. There was, however, a blue recycling bin with a white trash bag sticking out the top.
A woman called from XXXX Avenue at 8:22 a.m. to report the sound of distant gunshots. Police sat and listened for a while, hearing what they believe were actually the sounds of workers replacing a roof.
A XXX Street resident called police, at 9:50 p.m., to report someone was fumbling with her door handle, attempting to get into her apartment. The officer checked and advised her that the Christmas ornaments on the door were blowing around.
At 7:47 a.m., a XXXXXX resident called police to inform them that there was an armed police officer helping children cross the street nearby and that “it would scare the children if they saw the police officer with the gun.” The caller also said she didn’t “understand why resources are being utilized this way.”