Am I a Slackard?

[Youngster]

Wife has me feeling a little guilty about retiring. I retired last year (58 years old). My wife is older. She was 64 when I retired.

We were walking the dog tonight talked with someone in the neighborhood. It came up in the conversation, and I said I was retired. Of course, I got the usual "you look too young to retire" comment. I responded that I am lucky that my wife still wants to work part-time

During the walk, I thanked my wife for being able for being able to retire when I did.The reason I was able to retire was the addition of her SS. She said that it embarrasses her when I tell someone I am retired, and she thinks I am a slackard.

I don't feel like a slackard, and I certainly enjoy retirement. I have pensions from 2 employers (not great amounts). Wife took SS early shorting us about $200 per month had she waited to 66. She works part time and wants to do so. We have no debt to speak of other than standard living expenses (no mortgage). We live comfortably, no different than when I was working.

We have 2 nice 401k's that have not yet been touched. Bottom line is that we are financially sound. I told her she can retire any time she wants. That would be when we would start tapping into one of the 401k's until I collect SS.

So I look at this a a communtiy enterprise. All of our money is community property and we have been married almot 30 years. All communtiy effort. I look at it as why not retire if it is financially doable.

I would not have been able to retire if she did not take SS early. So, am I a slackard, and wrong to retire?

 

[COcheesehead]

Wow, maybe more issues here than you want to discuss.

 

[Youngster]

I forgot to add. Please don't hold any punches.

 

[RobbieB]

You are a slackard, she told you so. She who must be obeyed.

You are retired, so who cares if it's right or wrong?

Smile and be happy and kiss your wife often and do some housework.

 

[niven]

There's nothing wrong with her saying it embarrasses her since it's her feelings she's describing, but calling you a slackard is wrong. Does she really understand what a slackard is? It's not someone who's worked and saved and helped their partner be financially independent so they don't need to work.

 

[Nemo2]

Grow a ZZ Top beard, wear really scruffy baggy clothing, hunch over a walker and shuffle along.....people will then say "Hey, look at that old guy, he's still out there giving it his best.....no slacker, he".

 

[RobbieB]

I've been a slackard all my life, that's my style -

 

[Youngster]

There's nothing wrong with her saying it embarrasses her since it's her feelings she's describing, but calling you a slackard is wrong. Does she really understand what a slackard is? It's not someone who's worked and saved and helped their partner be financially independent so they don't need to work.

Thanks. That how I look at it. It is like a joint venture.

 

[Youngster]

Grow a ZZ Top beard, wear really scruffy baggy clothing, hunch over a walker and shuffle along.....people will then say "Hey, look at that old guy, he's still out there giving it his best.....no slacker, he".

ROFL.

 

[Just_Steve]

You are a good man for thanking her, then being called a "Slackard" because my response to that would have been XXX rated for sure.

 

[CaliKid]

I always thought it was "slacker" but what do I know!?

 

[Youngster]

You are a slackard, she told you so. She who must be obeyed.

You are retired, so who cares if it's right or wrong?

Smile and be happy and kiss your wife often and do some housework.

I now do all the cooking and most of the cleaning. I'm actually enjoying the cooking part. I have done a few valuable home improvements as well.

 

[Aerides]

Yeah there's some underlying issue there my friend, one that she has been sitting on for this past year. Sit her down for a nice chat, and do far more listening than talking. If she says anything like "i was kidding it's fine" - don't believe her, do it again in a week.

Until she is really ok, make up something else to tell the neighbors. Ask her what she'd prefer you do and or say. And yes, are you doing more than 50% of the house chores? (really doing, not like, you kinda do and she goes around after and makes it right). Grocery shopping, making the bed, laundry (folded, put away).

 

[MRG]

I always thought it was "slacker" but what do I know!?

The term was first used to describe me sometime in grade school. You all can spell it how you want.

 

[RobbieB]

You're fine, don't worry.

I've always been a slackard because I always wanted to do what I wanted to do and not what anyone else wanted me to do.

So, I never sought advancement, never volunteered for extra work, never "strived to get ahead" Just did my own thing left work as soon as possible and kept my phone in the car.

I still got out alive and have more dough than I can spend.

Tell your wife to retire and join you in the "slacking" together -

 

[Katiek]

I don't think there is anything wrong with working hard to be in a position to retire and enjoy the results of your effort. Have you talked with your wife about her feelings? Is it merely the fact you're not working, or are there any other underlying issues driving her feelings?

The only thing that struck me in your note was the phrase that when she took her SS early she was "shorting us of about $200 a month". That may have been just a poor choice of words, but if you reflect that in your conversations, it could sound like you think she somehow deprived the family of money you should have had.

But no, I don't think that merely retiring early makes one a slacker.

 

[Youngster]

Yeah there's some underlying issue there my friend, one that she has been sitting on for this past year. Sit her down for a nice chat, and do far more listening than talking. If she says anything like "i was kidding it's fine" - don't believe her, do it again in a week.

Until she is really ok, make up something else to tell the neighbors. Ask her what she'd prefer you do and or say. And yes, are you doing more than 50% of the house chores? (really doing, not like, you kinda do and she goes around after and makes it right). Grocery shopping, making the bed, laundry (folded, put away).

She has mentioned it before. She was never happy about my retirement. It stemmed from a bad work environment where I had just finally had enough. Instead of doing something else for work, I looked into the retirement option, and decided- wow, I can make that work finacially, if wife takes SS, so why not do it? She was fearful at first regarding the finances; but, as I said earlier, no financial issues at all.

I do around 90% of the chores. I think part of it may be that she has a mind set that husband is to work till 65.

EDIT: figured out that the real issue was not that I should work till I am 65; rather, it had to do with other stuff.

 

[Moemg]

Yikes ! it sounds like your wife is resentful of the fact that you are retired . When you talked to her about retiring did she say "fine " . That is woman code for don't do it .

 

[Youngster]

You're fine, don't worry.

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Tell your wife to retire and join you in the "slacking" together -

Good idea. I have encouraged her to retire; but I didn't use the "slacking" together part.

 

[Youngster]

...?

The only thing that struck me in your note was the phrase that when she took her SS early she was "shorting us of about $200 a month". That may have been just a poor choice of words, but if you reflect that in your conversations, it could sound like you think she somehow deprived the family of money you should have had.

...

What I actually meant to say is that her taking it early shorted us $200 per month. In other words, if she waited to full retirement age, the amount would only be about $200 more per month. Really negligible amount in light of the fact that we are collecting now, and that we will not miss the $200 extra in 2 years. She undertands that I appreciate her taking it early.

 

[LOL!]

I suggest that you tell people that you are unemployed if retired bothers you.

 

[travelover]

No one should be forced to work when they can afford to be retired. Your wife works by choice, that is her prerogative. You retired. That is your prerogative. Would she rather you were stressed out and miserable at work?


Sent from my iPad using Early Retirement Forum

 

[grasshopper]

Slacker, slacker, I was a kept man for almost 20 years, that's a slacker.

 

[haha]

She has mentioned it before. She was never happy about my retirement. It stemmed from a bad work environment where I had just finally had enough. Instead of doing something else for work, I looked into the retirement option, and decided- wow, I can make that work finacially, if wife takes SS, so why not do it? She was fearful at first regarding the finances; but, as I said earlier, no financial issues at all.

I do around 90% of the chores. I think part of it may be that she has a mind set that husband is to work till 65.

 

[Sunset]

What I actually meant to say is that her taking it early shorted us $200 per month. In other words, if she waited to full retirement age, the amount would only be about $200 more per month. Really negligible amount in light of the fact that we are collecting now, and that we will not miss the $200 extra in 2 years. She undertands that I appreciate her taking it early.

Wow.... There are a LOT of issues here.
So you keep blaming her for taking SS early, but you couldn't retire unless she did ? That is how I read it, so maybe I'm wrong.
Could you have retired early, and she wait to take SS so that she didn't short you both $200/month forever ?


Please clarify you said "We have no debt to speak of other than standard living expenses (no mortgage)."
Please explain what standard living expenses are debt ?
I have no debt.
We pay for all our food, utilities, and pay off totally to zero all credit cards per month.

Are you saying you are building up credit card debt, or carry credit card debt month to month ?
Perhaps this is why your Wife was/is nervous about the money. ?