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Old 03-11-2010, 01:01 AM   #101
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...my tendency to disasters on meeting the girlfriend's family as I had a dreadful weekend the first time I met her parents and extended family, which included breaking her little brother's arm
Ok, Alan, you have our undivided attention... I'm giggling just waiting to hear this story...
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Old 03-11-2010, 02:10 AM   #102
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Koolau, I found that jr. high photo of you and the future Mrs. Koolau!
Not EVEN close! I'm much geekier than that plus about 2/3 the size!
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Old 03-11-2010, 03:58 AM   #103
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I must say FD remarkable persistence (8 months for a first date) inventiveness a limo for the date certainly explains why not only is married but has way better dating stories than I do.

I am torn between thinking you are crazy and being in awe.
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Old 03-11-2010, 09:09 AM   #104
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I must say FD remarkable persistence (8 months for a first date) inventiveness a limo for the date certainly explains why not only is married but has way better dating stories than I do.

I am torn between thinking you are crazy and being in awe.
As you are well aware, I am crazy.........

I don't know why I told that story, I guess it popped into my mind.........
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This Thread is USELESS without pics.........:)
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Old 03-11-2010, 09:49 AM   #105
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I am torn between thinking you are crazy and being in awe.
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As you are well aware, I am a combination of both...............
Also edifyingly modest.
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Old 03-11-2010, 12:38 PM   #106
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Westernskies I love your prose,
It tickles me through my pantyhose.

All the while you speak of others,
Their situations and their druthers.

So tell us now a funny story,
That will prove to us your dating glory.


I once dated a woman from Devizes
Whose breasts were of two different sizes...

One was quite small
It was nothing at all

While the other was large and won prizes.
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Old 03-11-2010, 01:09 PM   #107
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In September, '73, I left home and started work, doing a "co-op" degree course where you work for a firm full time and they send you to college 6 months a year. On the very first morning in the reception area of the new company a dozen of us new student apprentices gathered. There I met DW2B, Irene, who not only was to be working at the same firm but also attending the same university. I remember seeing a guy called Nigel who I had met twice before at university interviews so I was quite relieved to find someone to talk. Much later Nigel told me that he had the opposite reaction when he saw me walk in. His reaction was "Oh no, there's that loud Geordie that talks to me, and I don't understand a single word he is saying"

Irene is from the north (Manchester) and she seemed to be able understand me so I chatted with her as well that morning. I don't recall this but Irene tells me that while we were talking it turned out that we were living quite close to one another, and I said that I had walked to work that day. Since she had taken a bus she asked me how far it was to walk. She said that she understood the words in my reply but was still not sure, as I said, "Why, it's a canny way man!", and she wasn't if canny meant short or long. (She decided that it meant long, which in this case was correct).

We became friends but it wasn't until the following Easter break that we actually started dating. (I'd had another very embarrassing dating experience before then, the story of which was relayed to her but didn't put her off me ). Apparently she had wanted to date me from that first day and eventually had to practically trip me up and throw herself under me to get it to happen We still celebrate that first day at work where we met instead of our wedding day.

A couple of months after we'd started dating there was to be a big party at her parents' house for the extended family as it was to be a 100 year celebration. Her older sister was to be 20 and her Granddad 80. (Irene was 18 and I was 19).

We arrived at her parents on the Friday, party on the Saturday. I was determined to be on best behavior and her folks made me really welcome, and I seemed to fit in very well. I'd already met her sister and her boyfriend when they'd visited her some weeks earlier, plus my accent was now much modified and I was almost intelligible. She also had an 8 year old brother and a 4 year old sister and while I was larking about with her brother he took a tumble onto the carpeted floor (I was holding his foot at the time, so no doubt as to where the blame lay ). He moaned and cried and said his elbow really hurt. I carefully examined him and told him it wasn't broken, demonstrated by the way I could bend and flex it. Anyway, as soon as her parents got back in from work he wailed to them, so they took him off to the Emergency Room.

When they came back a couple of hours later he was sporting a plaster cast and staring daggers at me. (his elbow had a hairline fracture).

Her parents were very understanding and despite all the scowls from little brother I made it through the next day, helping with the preparations for the big party in the evening which included close family friends, Aunts and Uncles. All went well until they played party games and one of the games was a word game where you randomly got given letters and had to fill in a small crossword style grid. Now, I'm useless at this sort of thing but did my best. Then, horror of horrors, we were told to pass the completed grid to the person on your left for scoring. Luckily for me it was Irene because I had filled in my grid with some pretty unsavory words that I was certain would shock her family. Even worse, when the scoring was done, I had won and Irene was told to read out my answers

She didn't actually say any of the words but said things like "Couldn't you have used the word 'shot', and couldn't you have used the word 'fort', and what is wrong with 'bagger' instead of what you actually put?"

Fortunately everyone laughed (I know that I was beetroot red with embarrassment), and I have had a fantastic relationship with all her family from that very first meeting.
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Old 03-11-2010, 01:19 PM   #108
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Alan, your stories are hysterical, and they just keep building one after the other til I'm laughing out loud. And Irene had heard about yet another embarrassing story before you and she started to date? Do tell.
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Old 03-11-2010, 01:19 PM   #109
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Priceless!

Definitely the best way - when your future spouse almost throws themselves under you to get you to pay attention.

Audrey
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Old 03-11-2010, 01:36 PM   #110
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Alan, your stories are hysterical, and they just keep building one after the other til I'm laughing out loud. And Irene had heard about yet another embarrassing story before you and she started to date? Do tell.
Tomorrow maybe - I'm off to play tennis now, then soak in a hot tub as usual to recover
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Old 03-11-2010, 01:55 PM   #111
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Also edifyingly modest.
What I meant was, I am crazy.......... I didn't read the awe thing............
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Old 03-11-2010, 02:14 PM   #112
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What I meant was, I am crazy.......... I didn't read the awe thing............
aw, shucks...
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Old 03-11-2010, 02:15 PM   #113
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What I meant was, I am crazy.......... I didn't read the awe thing............
Awwwwwwwe now.............
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Old 03-11-2010, 02:33 PM   #114
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I once dated a woman from Devizes
Whose breasts were of two different sizes...

One was quite small
It was nothing at all

While the other was large and won prizes.
.... Touché .....
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Old 03-11-2010, 04:55 PM   #115
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When my gal & I first got together I had just bought a house - not a new, large, or grand house, but what I could afford. It had some issues, among them the large hole in the ceiling and total lack of heating apparatus. It was mine though. Furniture was not something I could afford - but the house payments got made. My bed was 2 2x4s on edge with some scrap wood planks on top and all the blankets that weren't used as covers folded as a pad. Spartan accommodations. I found the bed much softer after we got together. After my gal and I had been an item for some time a certain amount of civilizing took place and the odd bits of furniture made their way into the house, among them an actual bed wider than three feet. Much wine was drunk, life was very good.
One fine morning thereafter we were in the front bedroom lolling about in bed late on a weekend for some reason. The gal got up and headed for the bathroom at the other end of the house, wearing what God gave her. She made it about half way before I heard the back door fly open and my Mom sing out gaily as she trooped right in. That was their first meeting. Mom was between the gal and the bathroom, so my gal introduced herself in passing, then came back out and she and Mom spent a while on the couch chatting and getting acquainted. I stayed out of sight and quiet for some time. The two of them remained great friends till my Mom passed away decades later - it may have helped that at one point I told my Mom that my gal was the woman of our house and that while Mom could express herself what my gal said went. Put the two of them on equal footings. Good women both.
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Old 03-11-2010, 06:07 PM   #116
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Great story Calmloki

A friend at college had a similar experience. He was staying at his girlfriend's house, sleeping in her bedroom - this was the liberated 70's

In the morning he had just got out of bed and was stark naked when GF's mother walked in without knocking and just froze for a moment or two before walking to the foot of bed and putting down some towels she'd brought for him, and then walked out without saying a word. When they eventually got up the courage to get up and go downstairs, not a word was said about the event. Later that weekend GF overheard her mother talking to GF's sister, telling her about what happened and commenting on what a big boy he is
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Old 03-11-2010, 06:17 PM   #117
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He said that for all the people he knew with such a briefcase, OHMS stood for "Only Holds My Sandwiches".
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Old 03-11-2010, 06:34 PM   #118
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Of course, I had flowers and champagne waiting in the limo. We ended up driving up to a really nice restaurant about 30 miles away. I was having a great time and she was too.
Great story. Who knew FD was such a romantic?
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Old 03-11-2010, 06:53 PM   #119
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It was my first year at kindergarten. I was a fat kid. There was one other fat kid, a boy named Sebastian (poor child). We gravitated together for moral support against the skinny kids who constantly teased us and called us names like "the two fatty busters".

So then we decided we would get married when school was out. Late one afternoon there was a knock at our front door. My mom opened it to find Sebastian nervously calling on me with a bouquet of wildflowers and an engagement ring.

I think he's a furniture salesman now. Married some other gal.

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Old 03-11-2010, 08:00 PM   #120
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Sorry, local slang .

You can lookup Percy and Porcelain here.
Oh, I figured it out from the context.
I just thought "Percy" was a name of your own invention.
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