Any Funny Dating Stories to Share, Family or Yours?

[freebird5825]

I was about 16, and had been camping from New York to California with my mom and sister. We arrived at a friend's house in California, and he'd set me up on a blind date.

I went into a spare bedroom to change, and after taking off all my camping clothes and changing into something for the date, I looked out the window, and across the street there was a table with about 10 people around it, all waving at me (and Percy).

And did...um...Percy wave back?

 

[TromboneAl]

During college, I was visiting a friend in Boston, and we went out to a bar to meet girls. What ensued was a once-in-a-lifetime experience (for me, anyway). We met some ladies who suggested we follow them to another bar. There we met some more girls and guys, and this continued all night. At 5:30 AM we had accumulated about 20 total strangers, all of whom had breakfast together at some all night diner at a huge table.

This turns into a date story because I liked one of the girls but had not gotten her last name. Fortunately her first name was unusual ("Aileen"), and I knew that she attended a small college. I went there the next day and convinced the registrar's office to hook us up, and we had a date that night.

 

[Meadbh]

Fortunately her first name was unusual ("Aileen"), and I knew that she attended a small college. I went there the next day and convinced the registrar's office to hook us up, and we had a date that night.

These days, the registrar would not be able to oblige. That would be a breach of privacy laws.

 

[REWahoo]

So Al, from your story it appears your "once-in-a-lifetime experience (for me, anyway)" was finding a girl who would actually go on a date with you?

 

[Moemg]

I met my SO on the Internet ( I had been widowed for two years ) . He seemed slightly strange when I talked to him so I told my girlfriend were I was going and if she did not hear back from me that he was probably an axe murderer. Well he wasn't but for Christmas that year he gave me a beautiful silver bracelet with an axe charm .

 

[audreyh1]

Now, my parents would not hear of my S.O. and me sharing a bed under their roof, so they made the 2 "boys" bunk together on the sleeper sofa in the Florida room so I could sleep chastely in the guest room.

My S.O., my friend and I agreed it would not be cool to "out" my friend to my parents, so we all went along with it....of course nothing untoward happened (not that I expected it would - my friend isn't interested in straight guys) but S.O. said it was kind of a weird concept...

A.

Now your S.O. gets a big "what I'll do for my SO and her parents" award for that one!

Audrey

 

[Khan]

Every time I read this, I just go into fits of laughter.

...and yeah, I've made a few faux pas during dinner too.

I try to be civilized.

 

[audreyh1]

Every time I read this, I just go into fits of laughter.

...and yeah, I've made a few faux pas during dinner too.

I have to share this!

I was told by colleagues almost dying with laughter about a fine european dinner meeting in which the CEO sent his duck flying. It landed on the floor. Within a blink of the eye he had scooped it back up on his plate as if nothing happened and proceeded to dine. Everyone else went on and pretended that nothing whatsoever unusual had happened.

Audrey

 

[Texas Proud]

All I can say is some of you have had very interesting dating lives... Allen seems to be the 'winner'....

The only strange one that I can think of is back in college... There was this girl in a few of my classes that seemed to sit next to me in most of them... she was not interested in me, and I was not in her... she was a big partier and would come to class with some 'issues'.... but I would explain what was happening later in the day...

Well, close to the end of the year... she introduced me to one of her roommates... now, this was a lady that I liked... we went out a few times and talked on the phone etc... but it was getting close to summer... I was going to be attending summer classes, but she was not... so the last day of class I asked where she would be staying and said I would like to come visit... she said OK... then proceeded to give me her number... but a different last name...

I looked at her a bit funny and said "what is this was a different last name? Are you getting married?".... She said "No, I am married, that is my maiden name".... OOOOOKKKKKK.....

Well, eventually she did get a divorce... but it was to late to get things started again... I did see her about a year later... and she told me she was going to marry her ex... I said that was the stupidist thing she could do... I did hear from my classmate that she did not, but went back to a boyfriend she had before getting married who treated her bad... I have not heard anything since....

 

[bbbamI]

Speaking of food blunders.....

There were times at Megacorp we would order lunch to be delivered. One particular day we ordered deli sandwiches with all the trimmings. After we finished eating, it was time to get back to work. That day I was wearing a floral print dress with multi colors. After I had worked for about an hour, I walked down the hall to another employee's desk. As we were talking I noticed she kept looking at my chest.

After a few minutes she burst out laughing. I had a slice of pickle resting proudly atop one of my breasts. From that day forward everyone called me 'Pickles'.

 

[Koolau]

Already "introduced" DW2B (she is now DW). This was my story about 8th grade dance (six inch difference in height at the time - the wrong way!). FF to senior year in HS after I'd grown 10 inches. DW2B and I began to date steadily for a while. Call her Suzie Kowalski (not even close!)

During this time, I socialized quite a bit with a guy I'd also known since day one at school (K or 1st grade, I forget). Call him John. Since John had a car and I didn't, he would often invite me to dash out to McD's or BurgerChef for lunch instead of eating the swill in the school cafe. So, while we weren't close friends, we were quite friendly and I believed I knew him pretty well - and assumed he knew me pretty well. This was before I got a car and started to dash out for lunch with "Suzie".

My best friend all through HS (call him Ray) also knew John, at least as a classmate. One day, Ray, John and some other guys were talking about their various girl friends. No "conquest" bragging, just the fact that they had a girl friend was bragging rights enough, I guess. So Ray asked John "Who's your girlfriend?" John answered "Oh, you wouldn't know her." Ray pressed the issue. "I might know her. Come on, John, what's her name?" "Oh.... Kowalski" John answered. "You mean Suzie!!??" Ray asked, incredulously (knowing "Suzie" was my current squeeze.) "Yeah" John replied.

Ray relayed this story to me soon after and when I asked "Suzie" about it, she relayed how months earlier, John had asked her out for a coke. This was before she and I had become an "item" (in a HS sort of way). She went for a coke with John and decided in about 2 minutes that it was a mistake and basically never talked to John again - at least about going out.

Ray, Suzie and I all got quite a kick out of the incident. I actually felt sort of sorry for John. It's one of the awkward moments that seem to happen to all of us at one time or another as we start to make our way into the adult world. I never mentioned the incident to John and he has remained a friend of mine as well as "Suzie" over the years.

Okay, speaking of awkward moments, here's sort of the reverse of the above story. Before "Suzie" and I became an item, a girl I knew from a church group asked ME to her Jr. prom at another school. This was months before the prom and many weeks before "Suzie" and I became an item. I accepted, as she was a friend, a really nice girl, attractive and I didn't have any prospects for my own Sr. prom - I thought. The Jr. and I had no plans to "date" other than this one event.

As "Suzie" and i got closer, and eventually decided to go to our Sr. prom together (thank goodness, at least the other school's Jr. prom didn't coincide with our Sr. prom) I was trying to figure out how to either 1) get out of the commitment for the Jr. prom, 2) Hide the fact from "Suzie" that I was going to take another girl out or 3) Tell "Suzie" that I was taking another girl to a prom even though we were "going steady" or at least "steadily". This dragged on for many weeks and in the mean time, the two girls got to know each other through the same church group!! Somehow, the story never came out. I think the Jr. saw the dilemma and decided not to "out" me. As the big day approached for the Jr. prom, "Suzie" wanted to do something on the same night. I wussed out and uncharacteristically told her I had to do something else that night. Well, it took her 3 seconds to figure there was more to the story. (Guess she was prescient after all.) That's when I had to break down and tell her "the rest of the story". She handled it pretty well - I think mostly because she now knew the other girl fairly well and it was quite obvious to all that "Suzie" was my girl friend. So I did the Jr. prom and had fun, but it was still a bit of a strain for all three of us. "Suzie" and I subsequently went to our Sr. prom and had a great time - no strain at all. Over the years, we've all stayed friends though the miles have separated us from the Jr. girl.

A common thread I see in many of our various stories: No one could make this stuff up! It's just too wacky to be anything but true. Fiction might make better stories and be less embarrassing to all concerned. But what would be the fun in that?

 

[Alan]

Keep the stories coming, I'm really enjoying them

Alan, your stories are hysterical, and they just keep building one after the other til I'm laughing out loud. And Irene had heard about yet another embarrassing story before you and she started to date? Do tell.

As I mentioned before, Irene and I met the first day we started work but didn't date until 9 months later. We each had our own place, a "bed-sit", which was nothing more than a small room with a sink for washing, a bed and a small table for eating at. There was a shared kitchen and bathroom and there were typically 3 - 6 bed-sit rooms in a house. It was very basic accommodation and at weekends it was particularly lonely as most of my new found student friends would go home. Irene soon started dating one of the other students, and he and I actually ended up with bed-sits in the same house and became good friends.

The link to the song below is pretty accurate as to my experience of bed-sit land.

So, one weekend I went out by myself to a night club where I met up with a couple of canny lads from my home county. (Isn't it odd how pleased you can be when, in a strange place, you meet someone from your home town or area). They introduced me to a drink called snakebite that consisted of beer and cider (20 oz pints). I had at least 6 of these devils, got very drunk and have only vague memories of staggering home in the early hours. Next morning I had a hell of a hangover and was trying to recall the events of the previous night when it suddenly all came back to me that I met a really pretty lass and we danced a lot including a slow number at the end I asked if we could see each other again, and she said sure, why don't we meet tomorrow at lunchtime, and she gave me the name of a pub. I remembered taking out a pen and paper and writing down her name and details.

I then went and searched in the pocket of my jacket and found, to my horror, that what I had used to write down her name, the name of the pub and the meeting time was not a piece of paper but a condom packet (it was well past its sell-by date )

The meeting time was 12:30, the pub was across town and it was already 1:30 so that was that

The following week I told my friend the story, and it was probably a month later when I was talking to Irene and I needed to make a note of something so said I would get a piece of paper. She then said, "From what I hear, that's not the normal thing you make notes on", winked at me and walked away.


Bedsit Land

 

[Meadbh]

Oh, those crazy Brits.....Alan, does your mascara look this good when you wake up?

 

[simple girl]

How many funny stories can one person have (Alan!) LOL, enjoying this thread.

 

[WhoDaresWins]

And I pictured Alan for the quiet, scientific type! Yes, he is the clear front runner here for this thread. No one wants me to brush off the cobwebs and try to reconstruct any ossified tales of my teen-aged dating life for sure after his revelations. I would cure the sleep deprived in short order.

 

[simple girl]

Here's the only really comical dating story I can think of, at least right now:

So I've been hanging out with this guy for some time as just friends. I knew he had a thing for me, but I wasn't so sure about him. However, he was super nice, and I was entertaining the idea.

One night we went out on an actual "date", and he came back to my apartment to hang out. So we are sitting on the floor talking, and I notice something moving on the wall behind him. Eventually I realize it's a roach crawling up the wall, right behind his head! I was mortified, but he hadn't seen it yet. (This was my first apartment, and all I could afford...little did I know it had roaches until AFTER I had moved in.)

So, I am completely distracted as he continues to try and woo me. As several more roaches begin to slither up the wall behind his head, I am having significant trouble staying focused on the wooing. I was on a mission to get him out of there so he wouldn't see the roaches! So somehow I wrapped up the night and got him out of there without him turning around to see goodness knows how many roaches climbing up the wall. Poor guy has no idea it was the roaches, not him, that caused him getting booted out of my place, LOL!

After he left I was on a roach killing mission!!! A can of Raid was all I had, but I let'm have it to the best of my ability! Management heard a piece of my mind the next day, and I couldn't WAIT to move out of that place!

 

[Alan]

Oh, those crazy Brits.....Alan, does your mascara look this good when you wake up?

Wow, You recognized me - I was hoping the mascara would disguise me

And I pictured Alan for the quiet, scientific type! Yes, he is the clear front runner here for this thread. No one wants me to brush off the cobwebs and try to reconstruct any ossified tales of my teen-aged dating life for sure after his revelations. I would cure the sleep deprived in short order.

Oh please, do tell, it's only between us - we won't tell anyone else

How many funny stories can one person have (Alan!) LOL, enjoying this thread.

Hey, this is only the dating stories !! Stuff just seems to happen when I am around

When we moved from England to Houston in 1987 I was working in a small office in Clear Lake and most of the guys there were young men in their 20's. I was one of the oldest at age 32 and the guys recognized that my weird accent and sense of humor could be used to their advantage. So, they would get me to go out with them on a Friday or Saturday night just so I could attract young ladies curious about my accent and funny stories and they could chat them up. Let me add that DW was fully aware of the outings, happy for me to be increasing morale in the office (besides, she knows I am crazy about her, and that reminds me of another funny dating story that happened well after we were married ) )

 

[haha]

Hey, this is only the dating stories !! Stuff just seems to happen when I am around

Could part of the explanation be that you seem to have been blind drunk most of the time?

I enjoy your humor, and I am awestruck by your drinking.

Ha

 

[Alan]

Could part of the explanation be that you seem to have been blind drunk most of the time?

I enjoy your humor, and I am awestruck by your drinking.

Ha

I admit that binge drinking from time to time was definitely an issue for me from age 17 through college graduation. Thank goodness I couldn't afford to get blasted every week otherwise I doubt I'd have survived

 

[Westernskies]

I admit that binge drinking from time to time was definitely an issue for me from age 17 through college graduation. Thank goodness I couldn't afford to get blasted every week otherwise I doubt I'd have survived

Alan, you are definitely the king of this thread...and this post is giving me a couple of new limerick ideas...

 

[Koolau]

I admit that binge drinking from time to time was definitely an issue for me from age 17 through college graduation. Thank goodness I couldn't afford to get blasted every week otherwise I doubt I'd have survived

I guess we should start a thread about the "perils and joys of alcohol use and abuse". I suppose I have my share, but I have a buddy who could keep our work group rolling on the floor laughing for hours with his stories of over indulgence. Some are so bizarre, folks who don't know him (nor have ever gone pub crawling with him) think they're made up. Since I was there for a few of the milder stories, I had to believe the wilder stories.

Kinda glad those days are over - I guess.

 

[Amethyst]

I guess we should start a thread about the "perils and joys of alcohol use and abuse".
Kinda glad those days are over - I guess.

When I was 18, I dated a guy (also 18) who I didn't realize had a drinking problem, as he never seemed even slightly impaired; very calm, peaceful person, a math whiz.

Anyway, we were out with friends at a restaurant, the kind with a candle in a jar on the table, and one person brought up a gross topic just because it was gross: "Hey, ever wonder how long you can keep your hand over a candle flame before it hurts too much and you have to take your hand away?"

So the one guy puts his hand over the candle jar, then snatches it away quickly as we laugh. Then, to my horror, my boy friend puts his hand over the jar candle, and....holds it there. And holds it there, as we gasp and beg him to stop. Just has this weird quiet smile on his face. He must have held his hand over the flame for a full minute.

Next day, the palm of his hand was one huge blister. He said he'd drunk so much that he never felt anything while giving himself a third degree burn.
After that I never felt the same about him, and we broke up.
A.

 

[Alan]

When I was 18, I dated a guy (also 18) who I didn't realize had a drinking problem, as he never seemed even slightly impaired; very calm, peaceful person, a math whiz.

Anyway, we were out with friends at a restaurant, the kind with a candle in a jar on the table, and one person brought up a gross topic just because it was gross: "Hey, ever wonder how long you can keep your hand over a candle flame before it hurts too much and you have to take your hand away?"

So the one guy puts his hand over the candle jar, then snatches it away quickly as we laugh. Then, to my horror, my boy friend puts his hand over the jar candle, and....holds it there. And holds it there, as we gasp and beg him to stop. Just has this weird quiet smile on his face. He must have held his hand over the flame for a full minute.

Next day, the palm of his hand was one huge blister. He said he'd drunk so much that he never felt anything while giving himself a third degree burn.
After that I never felt the same about him, and we broke up.
A.

Wow, that is scary. I've heard about that sort of thing before but never seen anyone do it.

 

[LOL!]

My sister brought home her boyfriend. My dad was sizing him up and asked him while looking out of the corner of his eye, "Well, what do you do for a living?"

Boyfriend promptly answered, "I'm retired. You'll enjoy it when you get there."

 

[Amethyst]

My sister brought home her boyfriend. My dad was sizing him up and asked him while looking out of the corner of his eye, "Well, what do you do for a living?"

Boyfriend promptly answered, "I'm retired. You'll enjoy it when you get there."

Too much!! Any response, other than awed silence?