Any Funny Dating Stories to Share, Family or Yours?

[FinanceDude]

Here's mine, courtesy of one of my uncles.

He had been divorced for a little while but then met a lady from church. They decided to go on a motorcycle cruise up in the Smoky Mountains near where he lives.

They got caught in a rainstorm that came up out of nowhere, so they were delayed. At the time, the lady was living with her mom due to the divorce mess. Her mom had always been very protective of her when it came to dating and men.

When they were about 30 minutes late, she started calling other relatives to find out if anyone had seen her. Then she started calling her daughter's friends to find out if they had checked in at all. Frantic, she called the local sheriff's department and told them they were late coming back, she thought her daughter had run off with a stranger, she was worried something bad had happened, etc.

During the conversation, the gal at the police department politely asked how old her daughter was. My uncle and the lady that became my aunt pulled in the driveway as her mom was yelling at the phone, because the police asked how old the daughter was and when they were told 47, they seemed amused...........

 

[bbbamI]

My dating daze are just a haze now...

 

[REWahoo]

Yep, my dating is very dated...

 

[CuppaJoe]

Me too, ancient history but I do enjoy an ocassional date shake. Anyone have a good blender recipe?

 

[bbbamI]

I've learned what a tick sod is, but WTH is a date shake?

 

[calmloki]

sweeeeeet.

 

[Westernskies]

WTH is a date shake?

It's not nearly as serious as wife-beating..

 

[bbbamI]

Well, once I went on a date with a tick sod that soon afterwards felt like he'd been in a blender.... He probably remembers more than I do...

 

[Moemg]

Okay , I''l add one . When I was in my 30's and divorced I got fixed up on a blind date . I was to meet the guy at a local pub . I got there and looked confused when a nice looking guy waved me over so I went and sat by him and asked him had he been waiting long and he said all my life . We then talked and were enjoying the evening when another also good looking guy came in and called me by name so I turned to the guy I was talking to and asked him if he was my blind date . He said No but I looked like fun so he wanted to meet me . My real blind date was a great guy that I ended up dating for awhile .

 

[Moemg]

This is not a dating story but it's pretty funny . SO got a fish tank so we went shopping for fish and I got to pick out my very own fish . I loved to watch my fish and he survived when some of the other fish were dying . One day I got home early and see SO going up to the tank with a container holding a fish . Apparently my fish had died and he kept on replacing it so I would not get upset by then we were on fish #5 .

 

[Galahad]

Well.... testing the sense of humor was always very important to me early on and my favorite way to do this was to go out for an ice cream cone. Back on the road, when she put the ice cream up to take a bite, I'd give the brakes a quick firm tap, just enough to get a tiny bit around her mouth and nose. You can find out a lot about a person immediately after you've given them a little snoot full of ice cream

 

[haha]

Well.... testing the sense of humor was always very important to me early on and my favorite way to do this was to go out for an ice cream cone. Back on the road, when she put the ice cream up to take a bite, I'd give the brakes a quick firm tap, just enough to get a tiny bit around her mouth and nose. You can find out a lot about a person immediately after you've given them a little snoot full of ice cream

And she about you.

 

[Alan]

It's been a long, long time since I dated and I had several bad experiences including the time 4 of us were driving back from the pub late on a Friday night. We were still in High School, aged 17 and 18 (legal age for drinking in UK is 18 and pubs closed at 10:30). We spotted 2 girls hitching so stopped and picked them up. I was a DD that night (Designated Drunk) and myself and a friend invited them to a party we were going to the following night.

Next day we met them at the designated time and place and boy what a shock. In the dark, and being drunk, they looked a WHOLE lot younger and prettier than they actually were. Of course, being the young gentlemen we were, we took them to the party and had to undergo a lot of mockery at school over the following weeks. (I have no memory of the party itself - my brain has erased all of that!!)

 

[REWahoo]

... 4 of us were driving back from the pub late on a Friday night. We were still in High School, aged 17 and 18 (legal age for drinking in UK is 18 and pubs closed at 10:30). We spotted 2 girls hitching so stopped and picked them up. I was a DD that night (Designated Drunk) and myself and a friend invited them to a party we were going to the following night.

Next day we met them at the designated time and place and boy what a shock. In the dark, and being drunk, they looked a WHOLE lot younger and prettier than they actually were.

Funny how that particular phenomenon seems to be universal...

YouTube - Mickey Gilley - Don't The Girls All Get Prettier At Closing Time (Live, 1985)

 

[donheff]

I had an older cousin who never dated and lived her entire life at home with her mother and a spinster sister. She met a widower when she was 67 and had her first sexual experience. She scandalized her mother and her sisters by raving to everyone in sight about how great sex was. They couldn't shut her up. She married the guy. They both died about 10 years later - but they died happy

 

[audreyh1]

I had an older cousin who never dated and lived her entire life at home with her mother and a spinster sister. She met a widower when she was 67 and had her first sexual experience. She scandalized her mother and her sisters by raving to everyone in sight about how great sex was. They couldn't shut her up. She married the guy. They both died about 10 years later - but they died happy

Wow! What a great story! Thanks for sharing .

Audrey

 

[FinanceDude]

I guess I can share one:

Our fraternity had an annual Valentine's date party where we made a garbage can full of wapatuli. It was a blast, but pretty much every year there were a few public couple breakups after too much liquor........

The boyfriend of one of the girls called the house looking for her. Apparently, on the car ride up, his buddies decided to road trip and they were all too drunk to drive, so she was dateless. She came back to the party and proceeded to call him every name in the book. I waited until she took a breath and then said: "That all you got"??

She turned her venom on me which I suppose I asked for. I remember some of the exchange like it was yesterday:

Her: Who are you to talk, it's not like you have a date here either.

Me: That's because I always have a Plan B......

Her: WTF's a Plan B?

Me: You, if you stop swearing at me........

We dated for a year..........

 

[Galahad]

And she about you.

Absolutey! No reason to wait a long time to let somebody know I can be a bit ornery at times Got my mom with that one once too hehe.

 

[Rich_by_the_Bay]

I've learned what a tick sod is, but WTH is a date shake?

Best date shake I ever had was here. I was exhausted afterward -- didn't think I could finish but I persevered and it all worked out.

 

[haha]

My brother was married 40 years, then at age 64 he lost his dear wife. After about a year he began to date. He met a woman in another state on a senior dating website. They have everything in common. He went to meet her, found her pretty, engaging and very fun to be around.

Eventually she tells him that she is 10 years older than he is. He is shocked, because she looks early 60s at most. Anyway, he is kind of in by now, and they have continued a long distance dating relationship with frequent visits to one another's homes. He told me that after he has been with her for a while he has to get away because she pesters him for sex all day every day and into the night, and he is up against his physical limit. He tells her anything- I have to meet my lawyer, I have a dentist appointment, I have to water my plants, but what he really needs is a rest.

She has 4 children, and a long marriage herself that ended with hubby's sudden death, so she is definitely not a newcomer to sex. But she says at least that her late husband had a fairly narrow palette, so in her mid-70s she has had a sexual rebirth.

Ha

 

[Nords]

I met my spouse because I majored in chemistry. Hot chicks dig lab geeks.

Back in the college days we spent hours every weekend on USNA buses traveling to away football games and drum/bugle corps shows. One bus was usually designated for [-]partying[/-] sleeping and the other for studying. The study bus had a number of subject-matter experts on call and I was the chemistry guy. Spouse had the worst instructor in the entire [-]history of humankind[/-] chemistry department along with a miserable grade, and we spent a lot of time together. She ended up with a "B" and a few years later we ended up married (to each other). Three decades later she says she's still trying to decide who got the better end of the deal. I tell her "Me, too." At this point our kid usually leaves the room making gagging noises, which is the whole reason for bringing up the subject in the first place.

These days we tell our daughter that there are better ways to get help with her homework... and for gosh sakes' don't stoop to dating a sailor.

You can find out a lot about a person immediately after you've given them a little snoot full of ice cream

You're lucky that you didn't find at least one of them leaning seductively over to you-- and gently ramming the rest of that cone up your own snoot!

 

[audreyh1]

I met my spouse because I majored in chemistry. Hot chicks dig lab geeks.

Back in the college days we spent hours every weekend on USNA buses traveling to away football games and drum/bugle corps shows. One bus was usually designated for [-]partying[/-] sleeping and the other for studying. The study bus had a number of subject-matter experts on call and I was the chemistry guy. Spouse had the worst instructor in the entire [-]history of humankind[/-] chemistry department along with a miserable grade, and we spent a lot of time together. She ended up with a "B" and a few years later we ended up married (to each other). Three decades later she says she's still trying to decide who got the better end of the deal. I tell her "Me, too." At this point our kid usually leaves the room making gagging noises, which is the whole reason for bringing up the subject in the first place.

Wow - lucky for you she needed a "chemistry guy"!

DH always wanted a technical (i.e. engineering type) SO. Lucky for me I guess! Not to many of us ladies out there with engineering degrees.

Of course, being only one of 5 girls in the entire BSEE program in the late 1970s was interesting! I think the guys were relieved that finally! some gals had shown up. I was happy because I found these engineering type guys a lot easier to talk to than the guys I went to high school with.

Audrey

 

[freebird5825]

I'll provide the gory details about dh2b's and my first meeting...turn the sands of time back 4+ years ago.

The Place: An annual clambake sponsored by his w*rkplace, held at a local American Legion post. I'm an Auxiliary member and a regular volunteer.
The Cast: Myself and a female friend who twisted my arm for a month to even attend. I was there for the cheap lobster and all day shrimp and clams, not to meet men. She was there for...oh, I almost forgot...lots of men, some single, some divorced, some married.
The Plot: My female friend knows dh2b vaguely, but says hello to him. We are introduced. I tell him I am an Engineer, which usually sends them running. I showed him my business card to prove it. We talk for 4 hours. His cow*rkers later tell me they were laughing at the sight of someone who could talk more than he could, and that we were so engrossed that people had to walk around us.
I decided to hand him back my business card and told him if he ever wanted to go to lunch, just call me at w*rk. I did not flirt with him.
It took another cow*rker a few weeks' time, armed with a virtual brick to his head, to convince him that my business card was a "sign". He finally got with the program and emailed me at w*rk.
The day we met for lunch happened to be the same day I had to go over to the dealer to pay the balance due on my new car. So I suggested he take a short ride with me on this "errand".
I didn't tell him it was a brand new 2005 convertible Mustang with a 5 speed.
You should have seen his face when he saw my new car being detailed for a few more days ahead delivery.
So he obviously liked "the package" - my brain, my car, and my...ahem...3D assets.
In which order is still TBD.
I thought he was cute, of course, and really liked the fact that I could be myself and not have to "dumb it down".
The rest is history...

 

[bbbamI]

Best date shake I ever had was here. I was exhausted afterward -- didn't think I could finish but I persevered and it all worked out.

I learn so much here.....thanks Rich.

I do suppose it's all about quenching the thirst.

 

[Alan]

At age 17 I went out with my cousin and 2 other guys (all aged 17) to the local town about 6 miles away on a blind date with 4 nurses that a relative knew and had set up. The nurses were all from a much classier upbringing than we 3 "pit-yakkers", and by the end of the evening we'd spent all our money including the cab fare home (they paid their own cab fare). The night club closed at 2am, well past the times of the buses.

We set off walking home, trying to hitch a lift as we walked - something we had done many times. A truck did stop and give us a lift - it was a closed in type of truck but open at the back with a tailgate. We were belting down the dual carriageway (speed limit was 70mph) when one of my friends jumps up and shouts "We're being kidnapped!!". He runs to the end of the truck and jumps out. I can still hear the sickening crunch as he hit the road - more a sort of splat than a crunch.

We hammered on the cab for the driver to stop, and when he did we jumped out and told him what had happened. He wanted nothing to do with it and roared off, leaving us to walk back and look for our friend. We walked back and found blood on the road but no sign of him. It was a beautifull full moon night and along side the road was a field of wheat (or barley) and we could hear some sounds and see the wheat moving, so we went to investigate. There was our friend face down in the field swimming breast stroke and singing. We picked him up and saw that his clothes were badly ripped and he was covered in blood. So we walked him to his house which was now only about a mile away and woke his parents up. They took him off to the Emergency Room and he was back at school on Monday, badly scraped and bruised but no broken bones.

A nice footnote to the story is that my cousin had a follow up date, and later married his nurse, and they have been happily married ever since. We visit them most every time we are in England and I'm also back in touch with my truck jumping friend which is why this story is fresh in my mind.