Any Funny Dating Stories to Share, Family or Yours?

[Nords]

Wow, that is scary. I've heard about that sort of thing before but never seen anyone do it.

I was impressed by Gary Busey's acting that out in the first "Lethal Weapon" movie. Then I learned about his cocaine habit and couldn't figure out whether or not that had been acting.

One college weekend after an away football game, spouse-to-be and I partied very heartily. (Navy had lost the game so we never had to pay for a drink the entire [-]afternoon evening[/-] night.) We staggered back onto the bus for the six-hour drive back to the dorm and [-]passed out[/-] dozed off as the bus rumbled onto the highway.

At some point I regained consciousness and hadn't yet opened my eyes when I realized that I heard angels singing. Ruh-roh. Otherwise it was totally silent and the bus wasn't moving. I opened my eyes and looked around but everyone else was still [-] dead to the world[/-] asleep. I tried to wake up spouse but she was [-]BAC at least 0.15[/-] unresponsive. The bus was parked and the driver was missing. Holy crap. I opened the doors and stumbled out into the dark to see that we were in some sort of deserted garage. At this point, a bit before the era of "BeetleJuice" but after "Hotel California", I was [-]still inebriated[/-] getting seriously freaked out.

I saw a doorway and could hear the singing coming from there, so I went [-]toward the light[/-] exploring.

The next room turned out to be a workshop where the bus driver was drinking coffee and listening to gospel radio while watching the mechanic. The bus had hit a deer four hours ago and lost power to its headights, so the driver had found a truck stop with a night staff who was repairing the damage. They were just wrapping it up and we were back on the road 30 minutes later.

Next [-]morning afternoon[/-] day I asked my travel buddies if they knew anything else about hitting the deer. No one else had even awakened, let alone heard of the incident, and I was judged to be seriously [-]hung over[/-] hallucinating. They also thought it was pretty funny that I'd presumed my first stop after death would be heaven's parking garage...

These days I tell our kid that she has a genetic predisposition to be susceptible to alcohol poisoning, and then I use my "funny" stories as an example of what could happen. So far it seems to be working a lot better than anything DARE has come up with.

 

[Alan]

These days I tell our kid that she has a genetic predisposition to be susceptible to alcohol poisoning, and then I use my "funny" stories as an example of what could happen. So far it seems to be working a lot better than anything DARE has come up with.

Good luck with that approach - it worked for me with our kids, at least we were totally unaware of either of our kids ever getting drunk or using drugs DS still does not even drink at age 27, let alone get drunk.

One story we told our kids as a warning was the time we were visiting my parents at a weekend, mainly so I could go out on a stag night with a load of my old High School friends (one of them was getting married). I went suitably prepared, carrying nothing of importance - left my driver's licence, credit cards etc and took only enough cash for the night.

At the end of the evening I called for a taxi from a phone booth but when I got home I realized that I must have left my purse with the cab fare in the phone booth. So I left the taxi waiting while I went in and raided DW's purse for cash.

Next morning I was nursing a hang-over plus I had a large knot on my forehead that was particularly sore. DW happened to look in her purse and shout, "Eek, what's happened to my money?". "Oh, I'm to blame", I said and explained what happened. "It's mostly all coming back to me but I can't think where I bashed my head". "I'll tell you where you got that lump from", says DW. By now my parents were already in fits of laughter and waiting to hear more.

Let first add that while staying with my parents we were sleeping in my little sister's bedroom which she had vacated for our visit.

DW continued, "You were drunk as a skunk when you got in, but made it into bed, and then later got up and I heard you staggering around the room. When I heard you open your sister's wardrobe I realized that you thought it was the toilet so I jumped out of bed, grabbed you and pushed you out of the bedroom to the bathroom before disaster struck. Unfortunately you'd left the bedroom door ajar and I shoved you right into it, edge on. I have no sympathy and am just relieved that I saved your sister's clothes from what they were about to receive "

 

[Meadbh]

 

[bbbamI]

I'm gonna hear it in my dreams from time to time...'Percy, is that you?'

 

[LOL!]

Too much!! Any response, other than awed silence?

There was a "Hrmmph!"

Boyfriend became my brother-in-law. He was a great guy even though much older than my sister. When he tragically died, my mom and sister were at the hospital together. The nurse said to my mom, "I'm so sorry about your husband" whereupon my sister said, "I'm the wife" much to the embarrassment of the nurse.

 

[Meadbh]

I had a friend from Pakistan whose sister had an arranged marriage. Both she and her new husband, while very well educated, were sexually inexperienced, as would be the norm in that country. On their wedding night they went to bed tired but happy, and being unsure of exactly what was expected of them, cuddled up and promptly went to sleep. They were awakened at 6 am by an inquisitive aunt who knocked on the door eager for news, and said "Well, how was it?"

It was three months before they could relax enough to consummate the marriage.

I hear they are very happy.

 

[audreyh1]

OK - Alan's wife is going to get a saint award!

Audrey

 

[FinanceDude]

All I can say is some of you have had very interesting dating lives... Allen seems to be the 'winner'....

Allen is definitely the winner...........I could post a fair number more but I am sure they would be censored........ Ah.what the heck..........

Typical college Thursday night out. I NEVER had classes on Friday if I could help it. Stopped at a bar and some annoying "bar buddies" are there..you know the type, they are your "friends" but you can't stand them............... The night is uneventful but then two lovely young women walk in. My "buddies" immediately start hitting on them, which goes nowhere fast. I watch amused but not involved at that point.

One of them gets involved in a pool game and one hits the bathroom, so I make my move:

Me: How's everything, are you getting sick of "amateur hour"??

Girl#1: What do you mean? Aren't you with them?

Me: No, they're just some guys that think they should be my friends, but aren't.

Girl #2: Well, we were going to go somewhere else anyways.

Me: I'd be happy to show you around town..........

Girl #1: What makes you think we don't know our way around here?

Me: You told the other guys you were from out of town, so either you're convincing liars or you're from out of town.

Girl #2: That's not very nice...........

Me: I never said you WERE liars, I just overheard. Obviously, neither one of you is impressed with this place, so why not?

Girl #1: So, you want to be our tour guide (laughing)

Me: Do you have any better offers?

Girl #2: No, but how do we know you're not just some smooth operator?

Me: You don't, but in case you nocitced I didn't start rutting the moment you stepped in like those other desperate losers....

So, we leave before my "friends" came back. It was a fantastic night, I get to dance and drink with two lovely women. The end of the night nears, and they both say; Thanks for a great night, what are your plans NOW? The rest of the story I need to plead the 5th on..........

 

[bbbamI]

I am amazed at the the details remembered in these stories...conversations, food/drink, time of day, etc.... I just remembered we stripped while driving across a bridge. ......

 

[Alan]

I am amazed at the the details remembered in these stories...conversations, food/drink, time of day, etc.... I just remembered we stripped while driving across a bridge. ......

That's probably because I remember the more unusual things that happened in my life

 

[FinanceDude]

I just remembered we stripped while driving across a bridge. ......

Thats is my favorite story of all............

 

[Westernskies]

Most of my best dating stories were from when I was in college...after living at home and working all summer, I always looked forward to going back to school in the fall.

 

[bbbamI]

Thats is my favorite story of all............

If that's true, it's only because I supplied the pictures....

 

[Westernskies]

Westernskies I love your prose,
It tickles me through my pantyhose.

All the while you speak of others,
Their situations and their druthers.

So tell us now a funny story,
That will prove to us your dating glory.

I once dated a woman from the Azores,
unbridled passion oozed frrom her pores.

but there were issues of trust
and the relationship went bust

when percy broke out in red sores....

 

[bbbamI]

I once dated a woman from the Azores,
unbridled passion oozed frrom her pores.

but there were issues of trust
and the relationship went bust

when percy broke out in red sores....

Seems to me you’ve learned your lesson
about the right one to trust, now I’m just guessin’.

But if you should ever doubt
when your lady looks at you with a pout.

Grab some Saran Wrap before you start pressin’.

 

[Alan]

This dueling with lyrics is hilarious, I love it

It reminds me of one of my favorites...

There was a young man from Bombay
On a slow boat to China one day.
He was pinned to the tiller
By a sex-starved gorilla
And China's a very long way . . .

 

[BunsGettingFirm]

I've learned what a tick sod is, but WTH is a date shake?

Do you really need to go there?

 

[bbbamI]

Do you really need to go there?

Ummm...maybe...as I don't get out much.

 

[bbbamI]

There was a young man from Bombay
On a slow boat to China one day.
He was pinned to the tiller
By a sex-starved gorilla
And China's a very long way . . .

This same man from Bombay
made it to China one day.
His news was a thriller
as he was engaged to the gorilla
and was wed the very next day.

 

[Alan]

This same man from Bombay
made it to China one day.
His news was a thriller
as he was engaged to the gorilla
and was wed the very next day.

You guys are so full of it !! (rhyme that is )

 

[Westernskies]

Nervous Alan, his heart gone a-twitter
upon spying a lass sipping bitters

Meeting her parents was grand
but not the impression he'd planned

when he peed in the sink, not the sh*tter

 

[Alan]

Nervous Alan, his heart gone a-twitter
upon spying a lass sipping bitters

Meeting her parents was grand
but not the impression he'd planned

when he peed in the sink, not the sh*tter

 

[clifp]

So, we leave before my "friends" came back. It was a fantastic night, I get to dance and drink with two lovely women. The end of the night nears, and they both say; Thanks for a great night, what are your plans NOW? The rest of the story I need to plead the 5th on..........

Now you are just bragging. Is there a jealous emoticon?

 

[FinanceDude]

Now you are just bragging. Is there a jealous emoticon?

I did not mean to brag..........I am just trying to measure up to my idol on this thread, Alan..........

 

[Westernskies]

I did not mean to brag..........I am just trying to measure up to my idol on this thread, Alan..........

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