Getting divorced: he partly blames RE dreams

[Brat]

Congratulations on taking control of your life. Thank your lucky stars that you don't have children together.

Your description of your soon to be former husband reminded me of a former suitor. I thought 'There but for the grace of God would have gone I.'

 

[MooreBonds]

He was emotionally abusive. I always thought he was joking, so I didn't think I took him seriously, but since this has happened and I am no longer walking on eggshells, I realize I must have internalized some of his abuse. My therapist told me I'm such a "glass half full" person that if I were in a concentration camp, I'd be rationalizing why it wasn't so bad, so I need to work on recognizing red flags to make sure I don't get involved in such a bad relationship again!

Coming from someone who was engaged to a woman who had some equally bad, severely negative traits, I can completely relate with the "walking on eggshells" and "rationalizing why ______ isn't so bad".

Congrats on your awakening! Enjoy life again...and remember that you don't deserve to be in a relationship with someone that puts you through that again (took me two engagements to finally wise up. ).

 

[Dreamer]

Sounds like things are progressing really well. Glad you have rediscovered that spending time with your friends makes you happy.

Good luck with the rest of the divorce, and the job hunt.

+1

 

[KB]

Thanks for sharing your update. I'm glad that things are working out well for you. I hope the time goes quickly until the divorce and sale of your home is finalized.

 

[toofrugalformycat]

+1

+2

 

[Meadbh]

+3

 

[Aiming_4_55]

+4

 

[East Texas]

+5

 

[Frugalityisthenewblack]

+6

 

[chris2008]

+7

 

[My Dream]

+8

 

[FreeAtLast]

+9

 

[BigMoneyJim]

(image-only post)

 

[HFWR]

+1010

 

[Nemo2]

Aw geez, now I've lost count......can we start again?

 

[obgyn65]

Sorry to read this. Take care and good luck.

My STBX was extremely anti-social (no friends) so I had started to become that way in order to keep the peace with him. I've realized that I had lost myself over the years, so I'm making up for that now. Have been going out with friends 3-5 times per week and having such a good time. So many free cultural events I was missing out on!

 

[Dawg52]

Glad things are looking up for you. Best of luck!

 

[Marathoner]

I have been interviewing at a very highly regarded asset management company. I searched over at the Bogleheads forum and they highly recommend some of the funds and only had positive things to say about this company, and more specifically the team I'm joining. My interview today was with the senior portfolio managers and it went so well! As I was driving home, I got the call that they are putting together an offer for me. So excited!

This was the next hurdle to overcome in the divorce since I was stuck in the house until I knew where I'd be working (my current job ends 3/31 because the company is shutting down.)

Next up: finding an apartment, improving my wardrobe, and actually moving.

One of the benefits of this job is that I will be learning much more about investing and the financial markets, which can only help me in my drive to FI.

Today I'm going to a fancy salon for a haircut (I know...not the way to achieve FI!) and a massage tomorrow...things are looking up!!!

My soon-to-be-ex? He's downward spiraling like mad. If I wrote it all out, you'd think I was making this stuff up. I may turn my experience into a lightly fictionalized book because there have been so many mad-cap and compelling twists and turns involved.

 

[Alan]

Thanks for the update. And congratulations !!!

 

[powerplay]

Congratulations Marathoner! The new job offer sounds great and I hope it works for you. You are moving on to your new life. Your attitude and perspective are inspiring.

 

[Lsbcal]

...(snip)...
I may turn my experience into a lightly fictionalized book because there have been so many mad-cap and compelling twists and turns involved.

You could market the book as a free-be (to begin with) on the Amazon market place. I'm looking forward to seeing you in one of those late night TV talk shows where they interview famous authors.

Good luck and hope you get the job!

 

[Brat]

Congratulations!

I would would not let your soon to be former husband know about your plans or life going forward. As he finds his life spinning out of control his behavior may not support your success. Along that line I would not share with your employers or co-workers any details of your divorce or the circumstances leading up to it. At the most, after you are on-board, state that you are going through a divorce and please do not share any information with him. Someone may ask for details but I would just say something to the effect that 'It is too painful to discuss, we are both getting on with our lives.'

Find an apartment with a doorman or staffed lobby, opt for security above all else even if it means that you live in a studio for the moment.

 

[brewer12345]

Find an apartment with a doorman or staffed lobby, opt for security above all else even if it means that you live in a studio for the moment.

I would also suggest that you buy some pepper spray or a Taser, assuming you do not wish to go to the trouble of firearms and a concealed carry license.

 

[simple girl]

Congratulations!!!!

 

[Retch The Grate]

Congrats on things working out well so far!