How well do you know your neighbors?

[Midpack]

Another poll, I had not seen this one...

 

[Amethyst]

I would love to have friendly neighbors. We have tried to be friendly with the two nearest families, but we can't even get a conversation going. They basically stay inside their houses, so we rarely see them. One family speaks little English, and the other family only socializes with their own "set" (same age, same type of job, same age ((very young)) kids. What's really odd is that the two families who owned those homes before, behaved the same way - insular, avoided meeting eyes and waving.

We usually start conversations easily with anybody, and we respect boundaries and rules, so our neighbors' distant behavior is puzzling. Oh well, as long as they keep their places nice, I guess that's as much as we should expect.

Amethyst

 

[travelover]

http://www.early-retirement.org/forums/f27/do-you-know-your-neighbors-54922.html

 

[harley]

DW would like neighbors like Amethyst is looking for too. I, on the other hand, prefer to keep it at the friendly acquaintance level. In our new (4 years now) location, option 2 is pretty much a perfect description. Very occasionally, someone will have a party and invite the neighborhood. But we will watch each other's homes when away, do favors, etc. But when we lived in Arlington VA for 25 years we knew fewer neighbors, seldom saw them, almost never spoke to them. And we were in what FD in another thread called a "real" neighborhood. But it was busy, crowded, and everyone had their own life and friends and didn't have space for anymore, just because they lived nearby. DW often bemoans the lack of friends we have here, and I have to remind her that we had even fewer back "home". Our friends come from different areas of our lives than our neighborhood.

 

[WhoDaresWins]

I selected the third option even though I do not socialize with the neighbors on either side of me as much as every other month....maybe once a year. The young couple on one side of me has lived there two years, and I often chat with them over the fence, had them over here for drinks once, they invite me to a large BBQ every summer, have also invited me to their Christmas party, but it usually coincides with a co-worker's annual affair. I have been out to dinner with the lady on the other side me a couple of times. She is retired, travels a lot, socializes mostly with a nearby daughter and her grandchildren.

I don't have any neighbors opposite my house, or behind me. Further up the street I know a half a dozen couples by name. One couple invited me to a large dinner party when I first moved in 7 years ago. I think the lady of the house hoped I would hit it off with her (shudder) loser brother. I have avoided any more socialization on that front other than a friendly wave when I am out walking the dog.

 

[East Texas]

Those of you living in rural communities will understand when I say we live out in the boonies and enjoy our geographical separateness. The only time we see people who live in this part of the county is when we run into them at the hardware store.

 

[grumpy]

We live in a gated 55 and over community of 800 homes. I consider everyone living here my "neighbor". We see each other most often at the community clubhouse for social events.

We explicitly chose this type of living arrangement because in our old neighborhood there was no community and we didn't have much contact with neighbors.

 

[lemming]

Snow days Everyone gets out to shovel out the cars. That's the only co-operation around here.

Except now I have a developing issue. The 5yr old next door keeps banging on the door so I will come out and talk to him. He had a visit from his Grandma over Labor Day and when she left I got "tagged" as a suitable sub. Once was cute. Now it is getting to be a problem.

 

[Midpack]

We explicitly chose this type of living arrangement because in our old neighborhood there was no community and we didn't have much contact with neighbors.

We're in the second category, same situation everywhere we've ever lived. But we're looking for significantly more community in our next home/neighborhood.

 

[braumeister]

Our next door neighbors (one on each side) are nice people, and we always say hello, although we see them probably once a year. We are surrounded by woods with thick undergrowth, so casually walking next door is impossible. There are no other neighbors within reasonable walking distance. We like our isolation just fine.

 

[JakeBrake]

Those of you living in rural communities will understand when I say we live out in the boonies and enjoy our geographical separateness. The only time we see people who live in this part of the county is when we run into them at the hardware store.

+1

However, I will have to admit I enjoy snooping on my neighbors on the online tax records. We get a tax break when when we reach 65, so you can get a rough idea of your neighbor's age and acreage. Also, if they they have a mortgage and if they pay their taxes on time and exactly who actually owns the property.

 

[Ronnieboy]

+1

However, I will have to admit I enjoy snooping on my neighbors on the online tax records. We get a tax break when when we reach 65, so you can get a rough idea of your neighbor's age and acreage. Also, if they they have a mortgage and if they pay their taxes on time and exactly who actually owns the property.

This is funny b/c I was just doing that. I have some neighbors who were complaining about some of my landscaping and as I was checking out some recent home sales I took a look at their info and come to find out the last two years (2009,2010) property taxes haven't been paid.

When does their house go up for auction and how does the mortgage company let this happen?

 

[harley]

This is funny b/c I was just doing that. I have some neighbors who were complaining about some of my landscaping and as I was checking out some recent home sales I took a look at their info and come to find out the last two years (2009,2010) property taxes haven't been paid.

When does their house go up for auction and how does the mortgage company let this happen?

The mortgage company may not have anything to do with property taxes. We pay principal and interest to the mortgage company. We pay property taxes to the county directly, and insurance to the insurance company directly. It would be the gov't that has to deal with them over the taxes.

 

[Ronnieboy]

The mortgage company may not have anything to do with property taxes. We pay principal and interest to the mortgage company. We pay property taxes to the county directly, and insurance to the insurance company directly. It would be the gov't that has to deal with them over the taxes.

Yes, but even without an escrow account set up through the mortgage company, I would think that they would be all over the homeowners paying the taxes.
Maybe they (the bank) are waiting for an auction too

 

[hakuna matata]

We live in a fairly rural neighborhood of 5-10 acre lots but we actually know the immediate neighbors fairly well, and a few of the other neighbors well but not as well. I like the isolation of being far enough away that no one disturbs anyone, but we still see them walking when we come back from the gym, etc. One of the neighbors enjoys beers and so I enjoy dropping by with one of my home brews now and again. So sociable but not best friends, a nice comfortable place to be.

 

[harley]

Yes, but even without an escrow account set up through the mortgage company, I would think that they would be all over the homeowners paying the taxes.
Maybe they (the bank) are waiting for an auction too

I don't see how they would even know, as long as the mortgage payments were being kept up. Personally, these days I'd rather pay the taxes and miss the mortgage payments, since the foreclosure process is so slow. And the mortgage collectors don't carry guns like the gov't ones do. But you're probably right. Missed taxes would indicate a problem probably heading to foreclosure to me.

 

[Ally]

My neighborhood is unbelievable. I stay inside alot for privacy. We have several watchful people who know all that goes on. So if I have a doctor's appt and arrive home early, sometimes I am asked why I'm home. Or if I take a day off, I often receive a call or visit to see if ok. We have other neighbors who take photos of any strange cars parked in the neighborhood, so I have to warn guests not to be alarmed... Other neighbors report all zoning violations to the city and so forth. The good thing is that someone is always watching out for you and your home. However it's often more invasive than I am comfortable with. And now I'm wondering if any of them read this forum! Lol

 

[audreyh1]

Much to my surprise, I voted for the last option, because it's much closer than the next.

A year ago, my husband and I moved into a 55+ mostly-winter-home RV-oriented community, not for the social aspect, but because of the location and amenities. We already had quite a few established friends outside of the community due to our heavy involvement in the local wildlife parks. Many folks joining the community seem to be focused on the social aspect.

Much to our surprise, not being really social types, we have ended up making several good friends within the community. I consider anyone within our "wall" a neighbor as we see each other all the time walking and cycling, at the clubhouse, etc.

We already had a lot in common with one immediate neighbor when we moved in, and since we have become very close, in spite of them being my parents age. We keep an eye out for each other, bring each other gifts when traveling, email, and have many impromptu conversations across our back yards. Several older couples down the street we have become close to as well.

We participate very little in the community's planned social events, but we do socialize quite a bit with couples we have come to like very well. We're part of a smaller 50s "younger" crowd within the community and have found we have an amazing amount in common with these other, younger retirees. Enjoyment of outdoors/nature, love of travel, and love of good food and wine, seem to be the basis for the friendships developing.

I have been surprised, because we already thought we had plenty of friends in the area. And only a tiny percentage of folks in our neighborhood are really plugged into the local wildlife scene. But, it turns out that there are some really cool people around! It's worth noting that we found most of these interesting folks by giving nature-oriented tours for our community - not by going to a community-wide potluck or party.

Audrey

 

[Amethyst]

Mortgage companies do keep track of "their" interests. We pay insurance and property taxes separately from our mortgage. While we were overseas, we had our property manager pay these bills for us, but somehow, the mortgage company got the notion that we had dropped our homeowner's insurance. They sent nasty letters to our home (forwarded to us, several weeks later) threatening to purchase insurance "on our behalf" and send us the bill. Every six months, we had to beg our insurance co. to FAX proof of insurance to the mortgage co - they wouldn't accept it from the property manager. I can only imagine how the mortgage co. would react if they got the notion that we'd failed to pay our property taxes!

It's possible that the neighbors, who haven't paid their property taxes, inherited the property (mortgage free). From what I've read, people can squat for years before the property is sold out from under them for unpaid taxes.

Amethyst

I don't see how they would even know, as long as the mortgage payments were being kept up. Personally, these days I'd rather pay the taxes and miss the mortgage payments, since the foreclosure process is so slow. And the mortgage collectors don't carry guns like the gov't ones do. But you're probably right. Missed taxes would indicate a problem probably heading to foreclosure to me.

 

[Ally]

How funny! Just as I got off this forum, the doorbell rang and there was our next door neighbor bringing us a huge watermelon! These neighbors are some of the really nice ones. They own a landscape co. and we hired them to replace our fence recently. They are a young family with soon to be 4 children. Their children are really really sweet kids.

 

[FreeAtLast]

We have been in this house about 25 years. The first 15 years no one really spoke to each other very much. Some new people then moved in and everyone is very friendly. We have even had a few block parties.

 

[obgyn65]

Almost no contact. I live in a high rise condo.

 

[Khan]

Live on the edge of a small city. Interact much with folks across the street. Say hello to folks in the duplex next door. Couldn't recognize most of folks on street in a lineup.

 

[haha]

+1

However, I will have to admit I enjoy snooping on my neighbors on the online tax records. We get a tax break when when we reach 65, so you can get a rough idea of your neighbor's age and acreage. Also, if they they have a mortgage and if they pay their taxes on time and exactly who actually owns the property.

Your hobby is one reson why many others are not drawn to the rural lifestyle.

Ha

 

[pb4uski]

We recently moved. In our old home, we knew the neighbors and would say hello and never socialized. Our "new" home is our previous summer home in more of a resort area with many retirees and we know many of our neighbors and socialize with them regularly.