It's funny joke Thursday! 2005 - 2020
- Thread starter cute fuzzy bunny
- Start date
- Status
Retired husbands
It is important for men to remember that as women grow older it becomes harder for them to maintain the same quality of housekeeping as they did when they were younger. When men notice this, they should try not to yell. Let me relate how I handle the situation.
When I got laid off from my job and took "early retirement" in April, it became necessary for Barbara to continue her full-time job, both for extra income and for health benefits that we need. It was shortly after she started working that I noticed that she was beginning to show her age.
I usually get home from golf about the same time she gets home from work. Although she knows how hungry I am, she almost always says that she has to rest for half an hour or so before she starts supper. I try not to yell, instead I tell her to take her time and just wake me when she finally does get supper on the table.
She used to do the dishes as soon as we finished eating. It is now not unusual for them to sit on the table for several hours after supper. I do what I can by reminding her several times each evening that they aren't cleaning themselves. I know she appreciates this, as it does seem to help her get them done before she goes to bed.
Now that she is older she seems to get tired so much more quickly. Our washer and dryer are in the hall. Sometimes she says she just can't make another trip
down the hall. I don't make a big issue of this. As long as she finishes up the laundry the next evening, I am willing to overlook it. Not only that, but unless I
need something ironed to wear to the Club meeting or to Wednesday's or
Saturday's poker club or to Tuesday's or Thursday's bowling or something like that, I will tell her to wait until the next evening to do the ironing.
This gives her a little more time to do some of those odds and ends things like shampooing the dog, vacuuming or dusting. Also, if I have had a really good day
fishing, this allows her to gut and scale the fish at a more leisurely pace.
Barbara is starting to complain a little occasionally. For example, she will say that it is difficult for her to find time to pay the monthly bills during her lunch hour. In spite of her complaining, I continue to try to offer encouragement. I tell her to stretch it out over two or even three days. That way she won't have to rush so much. I also remind her that missing lunch completely now and then wouldn't hurt her any, if you know what I mean.
When doing simple jobs she seems to think she needs more rest periods. She had to take a break when she was only half finished mowing the yard. I try not to
embarrass her when she needs these little extra rest breaks. I tell her to fix herself a nice, big, cold glass of freshly squeezed lemonade and just sit for a while. I tell her that as long as she is making one for herself, she may as well make one for me and take her break by the hammock so she can talk with me until I fall asleep.
I know that I probably look like a saint in the way I support Barbara on a daily basis. I'm not saying that the ability to show this much consideration is easy.
Many men will find it difficult. Some will find it impossible. No one knows better than I do how frustrating women can become as they get older.
However, guys, even if you just yell at your wife a little less often because of this article, I will consider that writing it was worthwhile.
Signed, Bob
Note: Bob's funeral was on Saturday, May 25th. Barbara was acquitted Monday, May 27th.
It is important for men to remember that as women grow older it becomes harder for them to maintain the same quality of housekeeping as they did when they were younger. When men notice this, they should try not to yell. Let me relate how I handle the situation.
When I got laid off from my job and took "early retirement" in April, it became necessary for Barbara to continue her full-time job, both for extra income and for health benefits that we need. It was shortly after she started working that I noticed that she was beginning to show her age.
I usually get home from golf about the same time she gets home from work. Although she knows how hungry I am, she almost always says that she has to rest for half an hour or so before she starts supper. I try not to yell, instead I tell her to take her time and just wake me when she finally does get supper on the table.
She used to do the dishes as soon as we finished eating. It is now not unusual for them to sit on the table for several hours after supper. I do what I can by reminding her several times each evening that they aren't cleaning themselves. I know she appreciates this, as it does seem to help her get them done before she goes to bed.
Now that she is older she seems to get tired so much more quickly. Our washer and dryer are in the hall. Sometimes she says she just can't make another trip
down the hall. I don't make a big issue of this. As long as she finishes up the laundry the next evening, I am willing to overlook it. Not only that, but unless I
need something ironed to wear to the Club meeting or to Wednesday's or
Saturday's poker club or to Tuesday's or Thursday's bowling or something like that, I will tell her to wait until the next evening to do the ironing.
This gives her a little more time to do some of those odds and ends things like shampooing the dog, vacuuming or dusting. Also, if I have had a really good day
fishing, this allows her to gut and scale the fish at a more leisurely pace.
Barbara is starting to complain a little occasionally. For example, she will say that it is difficult for her to find time to pay the monthly bills during her lunch hour. In spite of her complaining, I continue to try to offer encouragement. I tell her to stretch it out over two or even three days. That way she won't have to rush so much. I also remind her that missing lunch completely now and then wouldn't hurt her any, if you know what I mean.
When doing simple jobs she seems to think she needs more rest periods. She had to take a break when she was only half finished mowing the yard. I try not to
embarrass her when she needs these little extra rest breaks. I tell her to fix herself a nice, big, cold glass of freshly squeezed lemonade and just sit for a while. I tell her that as long as she is making one for herself, she may as well make one for me and take her break by the hammock so she can talk with me until I fall asleep.
I know that I probably look like a saint in the way I support Barbara on a daily basis. I'm not saying that the ability to show this much consideration is easy.
Many men will find it difficult. Some will find it impossible. No one knows better than I do how frustrating women can become as they get older.
However, guys, even if you just yell at your wife a little less often because of this article, I will consider that writing it was worthwhile.
Signed, Bob
Note: Bob's funeral was on Saturday, May 25th. Barbara was acquitted Monday, May 27th.
ls99
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
- Joined
- May 2, 2008
- Messages
- 6,506
FireBug
Recycles dryer sheets
- Joined
- Oct 13, 2010
- Messages
- 10,735
FireBug
Recycles dryer sheets
Heart surgeon brings his car in for service. Seems it needs a 'valve' job. The mechanic performs the work. Coming in to pick up the car, the mechanic says, "Say doc, why is it when I do a valve job, it costs $500. But when you do it, you charge $50,000?"
Doc looks at him thoughtfully, and says, "Well, when I do it, the engine is running."
Doc looks at him thoughtfully, and says, "Well, when I do it, the engine is running."
brewer12345
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
- Joined
- Mar 6, 2003
- Messages
- 18,085
Guess it's a good thing tickets to Australia are expensive
A tourist in Australia was driving through the Australian Outback when he noticed a man on the side of the road having sex with a kangaroo.
A few kilometers further on he came upon a small Outback town, parked his car and went into the pub for a drink.
He grabbed a beer and had a look around the bar and noticed a one legged guy sitting in the corner masturbating without a care in the world.
The tourist turned to the barman and said, "What sort of country is this?
A few kilometers down the road there was a guy having sex with a kangaroo and that guy in the corner is masturbating in full view of everyone."
The barman said, "You heartless bastard, he's only got one leg, how do you expect him to catch a kangaroo?"
A tourist in Australia was driving through the Australian Outback when he noticed a man on the side of the road having sex with a kangaroo.
A few kilometers further on he came upon a small Outback town, parked his car and went into the pub for a drink.
He grabbed a beer and had a look around the bar and noticed a one legged guy sitting in the corner masturbating without a care in the world.
The tourist turned to the barman and said, "What sort of country is this?
A few kilometers down the road there was a guy having sex with a kangaroo and that guy in the corner is masturbating in full view of everyone."
The barman said, "You heartless bastard, he's only got one leg, how do you expect him to catch a kangaroo?"
tfudtuckerpucker
Full time employment: Posting here.
VaCollector
Full time employment: Posting here.
- Joined
- May 12, 2007
- Messages
- 549
Kevink….IMHO inappropriate for this forum!
Lucantes
Recycles dryer sheets
Kevink….IMHO it wasn't inappropriate for this forum!
frayne
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Kevink….IMHO it wasn't inappropriate for this forum!
Agreed, pretty darn funny and none of my friends from Oz were offended.
Lucantes
Recycles dryer sheets
Nemo2
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
- Joined
- May 14, 2011
- Messages
- 8,368
Reminds me of a joke I heard while working up in Northern Australia 50+ years ago:
Fellow starts working in a mining camp......usual backdrop, no women......one morning all the guys are rushing out of their tents yelling "The sheep are here"......he questions the activity and is told that..in the absence of women, etc...
Don't think that's for me, he says....but why is everyone rushing when there are thousands of sheep?
Incredulous look....."You don't want to get an ugly one, do you?"
Fellow starts working in a mining camp......usual backdrop, no women......one morning all the guys are rushing out of their tents yelling "The sheep are here"......he questions the activity and is told that..in the absence of women, etc...
Don't think that's for me, he says....but why is everyone rushing when there are thousands of sheep?
Incredulous look....."You don't want to get an ugly one, do you?"
travelover
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
- Joined
- Mar 31, 2007
- Messages
- 14,328
Anyone have any kangaroo catching tips?Kevink….IMHO it wasn't inappropriate for this forum!
MRG
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
- Joined
- Apr 9, 2013
- Messages
- 11,078
Not kangaroo, but I know sheep.
Sent from my SAMSUNG-SGH-I337 using Early Retirement Forum mobile app
Sent from my SAMSUNG-SGH-I337 using Early Retirement Forum mobile app
robnplunder
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
So, it wasn't just me. That was my immediate thought after reading the joke.
robnplunder
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
-1. I thought it was unoriginal and pretty juvenile. I'd give it a 2 out of 10 points, 10 being the best. That's my joke of the day.
frayne
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
-1. I thought it was unoriginal and pretty juvenile. I'd give it a 2 out of 10 points, 10 being the best. That's my joke of the day.
Evidently you don't know many Aussies, who by the way have a wonderful sense of humor.
Mulligan
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
- Joined
- May 3, 2009
- Messages
- 9,343
Well I'm juvenile and I like the old mining camp jokes. My favorite one was about barrel with a hole in it..... Yes it's juvenile but what would expect from a person who lists Ted, Back to School, Hot Tub Time Machine, and Porkys as the classics!
Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk
Nemo2
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
- Joined
- May 14, 2011
- Messages
- 8,368
At the same time I was told the one about "You can always use the cook"......and when the newbie questions the price, he's told "Well, you've got to pay four guys to hold him down....he doesn't like it".
So many similar old jokes.
My favorite was always the guy out in the desert. His question upon arrival was answered with "Well, we just use the camels."
Many months pass, and finally he gets desperate enough, and is severely injured by an uncooperative camel.
When he comes to, he asks how the other guys manage with such ornery "companions."
The answer is "We use the camels to ride into town."
My favorite was always the guy out in the desert. His question upon arrival was answered with "Well, we just use the camels."
Many months pass, and finally he gets desperate enough, and is severely injured by an uncooperative camel.
When he comes to, he asks how the other guys manage with such ornery "companions."
The answer is "We use the camels to ride into town."
Mulligan
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
- Joined
- May 3, 2009
- Messages
- 9,343
Ok Braumeister and Nemo if you can do it (and they were funny, btw) so can I... In short summary....Old miner tells the new miner since there are no women in camp he can use the barrel with the hole in it behind the tents the first 6 days of each week. New miner comes back after the 6th day and says that barrel is pretty good and asks the old miner why he can't use the barrel tomorrow. "Well because on the 7th day it's your turn to be in the barrel."
Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk
- Status
