Just joined Facebook, OMG The good, the bad, and the ugly

[CaliforniaMan]

Most of us only have 20-30 years left on this earth. I dont know about you but Im not going to waste those years worrying about whether or not the government , FB or anyone else knows where I'm going on vacation or what organizations I belong to. Who cares?

I kind of came around to this way of thinking too.

 

[nun]

what is your name, where do you live, what is your age, what church to you go to, what religion do you follow, what political organizations do you belong, when are you going on vacation and where, who will you vote for, who are your friends, where do they live, what organizations do they belong to..... Not so long ago, governments would kill (and did) for "such informations", now we are happily giving it away. Orwell anyone?

I give FB the least amount if information possible and never give anything access to my contacts.

 

[Fishingmn]

Same as nun.

I never sign into other apps with FB as they want access to all of your contacts.

I also never "like" companies, entertainment or other entities as it just gives helps their stuff show up in your timeline as well as helps FB profile you even more.

 

[audreyh1]

How do you do that? I'm not seeing that option, and wonder which why mine is.

There is a little down arrow to the right of "news feed" which is on the left of the web page. If you click on that, you can choose between top stories and most recent.

 

[Tadpole]

Religious and political posters as well as stupid videos and twitter length illiterate unintelligible comments. What's with someone who links and likes and shares each and every thing they see?


I look at some stuff; respond to some; never originate anything.

 

[audreyh1]

I give FB the least amount if information possible and never give anything access to my contacts.

Same here. We are not named as a real person. Location and age are approximate. No other info is shared. People figure out who we are by context.

We use Facebook to follow local nature and other happenings. Very active local nature groups - it a great way to keep up with the latest.

Some folks went on a pelagic birding trip yesterday. This morning I got to see photos of the whale shark they encountered plus several great deep water birds. Very cool - that's what I like FB for.

 

[RunningBum]

There is a little down arrow to the right of "news feed" which is on the left of the web page. If you click on that, you can choose between top stories and most recent.

Ah, thanks! So many places to hide options, I missed that, and it was set on "top stories" for me.

 

[ExFlyBoy5]

Facebook is like a trip into your worst middle-school nightmare...

I couldn't agree more. It was great to catch up with some folks I haven't talked to in YEARS, but now that I am "back home" (and have been since 2012), I noticed that I haven't SEEN ANY "reconnected friends" in person...so I asked myself if I REALLY missed them at all. So, I am finding myself on it less and less. When I do get on there, it's the same 'ole crap. This picture sums it pretty well for me...

 

[gromit]

I have a couple of questions concerning "friends" on Facebook.
1. Do your posts always go out to all of your friends or is there a way to put friends into groups and then selectively post to only some of those groups? I like the idea of having an easy line of communication with family and select friends. For some other friends or ex-coworkers, I want to communicate, but not as often.
2. Once you friend someone, are you always making your Facebook name available/visible to all of that person's friends? I cringe at the thought of reconnecting with someone and then getting other friend requests I really don't want.


Thanks.

 

[walkinwood]

I wish the newsfeed was more customizable. I want to know what my friends are posting, but no what they're "liking" or "sharing". No way to do that yet.

There is a plug-in called Social Fixer that made it even easier to hide posts, but it kept breaking every time there was a FB update. I haven't tried it for a year or so.

But I love FB. It helps me keep in touch with family and friends very easily. A lot of them don't even look at their emails any more.

 

[scrabbler1]

Same here. I've been on the Internet since ARPAnet days, well before there was a WWW, and I have no interest in joining Facebook.

Being a curmudgeon helps.

No interest in facebook here, either. As Betty White once said about it, "It's a big waste of time!" If everyone thought like me, Zuckerberg would be flipping burgers somewhere!

 

[walkinwood]

I have a couple of questions concerning "friends" on Facebook.
1. Do your posts always go out to all of your friends or is there a way to put friends into groups and then selectively post to only some of those groups? I like the idea of having an easy line of communication with family and select friends. For some other friends or ex-coworkers, I want to communicate, but not as often.
2. Once you friend someone, are you always making your Facebook name available/visible to all of that person's friends? I cringe at the thought of reconnecting with someone and then getting other friend requests I really don't want.


Thanks.

1. Yes, you can create groups & share only to the selected group. Your friends have no visibility into your groupings.
2. You can share with friends and disable "friend of friends"

You can also choose to share only some of your information even with your friends. And you don't have to fill in all the fields in your profile. Mine, for example, doesn't have my address or birthdate and no one can see my phone number.

FB has come a long way with privacy controls, but is very aggressive about trying to take control. Luckily, the user base is very vocal and equally aggressive.

 

[RunningBum]

I have a couple of questions concerning "friends" on Facebook.
1. Do your posts always go out to all of your friends or is there a way to put friends into groups and then selectively post to only some of those groups? I like the idea of having an easy line of communication with family and select friends. For some other friends or ex-coworkers, I want to communicate, but not as often.
2. Once you friend someone, are you always making your Facebook name available/visible to all of that person's friends? I cringe at the thought of reconnecting with someone and then getting other friend requests I really don't want.


Thanks.

1. Yes, definitely. I don't do it myself, but I know there are people who have family/close friend groups, adults only group for their R rated humor, or special interest groups. https://www.facebook.com/help/204604196335128 ought to get you going.

2. Yes, I don't know of a way to avoid that.

 

[audreyh1]

I have a couple of questions concerning "friends" on Facebook.
1. Do your posts always go out to all of your friends or is there a way to put friends into groups and then selectively post to only some of those groups? I like the idea of having an easy line of communication with family and select friends. For some other friends or ex-coworkers, I want to communicate, but not as often.
2. Once you friend someone, are you always making your Facebook name available/visible to all of that person's friends? I cringe at the thought of reconnecting with someone and then getting other friend requests I really don't want.


Thanks.

You can mark some as close friends, others as acquaintances. I think you can just publish to close friends, but I'm not sure.

 

[Mulligan]

I'll admit - I joined facebook solely to stalk my kids. Once my older son joined, I joined, friended him, and keep an eye on his posts. Younger son has an account, but doesn't post - just has it to get some kind of video game credit by "liking" certain things. IRL friends want me to friend them - I refuse. I have a whoppin' 6 friends total. I have yet to make a single post and have only liked one thing.

Even with things cranked down as "secure" as possible with facebook, friends of friends can see you have an account. I wish that wasn't the case... The very few friends I accepted have mutual friends who want to friend me.

One of the friends I connected with asked why I wasn't posting pics from my summer long trip on facebook. Um... no thanks, I'd prefer to keep my post count at zero on facebook.

You probably know this Rodi, but kids are drifting away from Facebook, and now are on multiple other sites. I was having a few kids show me at school this summer. I couldn't keep up with what they were showing me and certainly cant remember the sites, but it was interesting what they showed me.


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

 

[gromit]

Thanks walkinwood, RunningBum and audreyh1. Good info. I've had a shell of an account for some time, but never started adding friends. Close Friends and Acquaintances lists look like they will handle my concerns and I will probably try it out.

 

[Ronstar]

I got FB several months ago to keep track of friends and relatives, but have joined a few groups that match my hobbies. I get the political stuff also, but very seldom read it.


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[rodi]

You probably know this Rodi, but kids are drifting away from Facebook, and now are on multiple other sites. I was having a few kids show me at school this summer. I couldn't keep up with what they were showing me and certainly cant remember the sites, but it was interesting what they showed me.


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

Yep - I'm stalking them on instagram, twitter, youtube, twitch, etc...
Older son *does* use facebook because I've had to lecture him about inappropriate language and political rants being something he might regret posting on facebook sometime in the future.

 

[martyp]

I joined FB about 6 yrs ago while I was still w*rking. I just wanted to see what it was all about. I didn't begin to use in a big way it until I ER'd. I love it and it has been a great way to keep in touch with a lot of people. Both close friends and peripheral acquaintances.

The only surprising posts I encountered when I first started using FB was that there were a couple of people I worked with that I discovered were very religious. Not a problem. They didn't post much on this topic. Otherwise I can say that with about 130 FB friends that nobody posts anything objectionable.

As for trivial posts, think about the trivial stuff that gets talked about face-to-face when you are just conduct small talk. My guess is that if you recorded your daily conversations you would be appalled at what you and others are saying to each other. Just put FB in perspective.

 

[Chuckanut]

Really makes me want to give the moderators of this forum a really big LIKE! for what they do to keep everything civil AND interesting!

+1

 

[googily]

Thanks walkinwood, RunningBum and audreyh1. Good info. I've had a shell of an account for some time, but never started adding friends. Close Friends and Acquaintances lists look like they will handle my concerns and I will probably try it out.

Back before Facebook created those lists, I created my own lists, and bookmarked the "closest" list as the page I enter FB at, to ensure I see the updates I most want to see first, then I go to the main feed if I have time. I can also choose to have my posts only seen by that list of people, or any other list. I'm not at my pc right now, but Google FB lists and you can find out how they work.

I even have a list of people who I want to read but who post so frequently that I don't want them cluttering up my "closest" list. [emoji4]

I love FB. I love seeing what trips people are taking, what their kids are up to, and getting back in touch with people I lost track of long ago. I don't have many people who do the religious or political ranting stuff, but those that do, I either just glide past or eventually hide their posts.

 

[simple girl]

Not sure if this has been mentioned yet, but what I do is subscribe to my close family and friends (there's a button on their home page you can click for this). This means I receive a notification when any of them posts something. I've taken to using this feature instead of scrolling my news feed, which I only do if I am really, really bored, as most of the info is not worth my time.

 

[sheehs1]

I joined when my daughter went to college back in 2006, didn't use it much as it was still mostly for that age group at that time. Then all us parents started to use it. I have really enjoyed reconnecting with people from high school, college and enjoyed being updated on everyone's life (new babies, trips, etc.)
What I don't like is FB seems to know which shopping sites I frequent. As soon as I go to one, I start getting the ads on FB. Also I don't like or should I say I don't have to know what "a friend" is doing every 4 hours, posting pictures of their breakfast, lunch and dinner and every breath they take. Some seem to use it as a daily dairy. I had to put my daughter's mother-in-law on "no notifications" because she is "one of these".

 

[panacea]

Joined a few years ago and liked it at first for the same reasons many like it... to catch up with old friends and family. And then it seemed to evolve into some kind of negative force, sucking the life out of me. Decided to deactivate my account and then about a year later just closed it. Much happier now.

 

[athena53]

I'm constantly having to make sure "news feed" is set to most recent instead of top stories. Seems like FB sneaks in there and resets it to top stories after a few days.

Thanks for the reminder. I'd forgotten to do that and yes, I see that FB switched me again to showing "top stories".

I enjoy FB for some things- it's kept me in touch with cousins and other far-flung relatives. I get to see pictures of their new babies, their grandkids, etc. It's been good for reconnecting with HS classmates- I'm finding it easier to get to know people now than it was back in HS and that we have more in common than I expected. Finally, I LOVE posting pictures from my vacations. Only my Friends can see my posts and so far the house hasn't been robbed while we were gone.

Bad stuff- where do I start?

1. I agree on the creepy banner ads that push whatever you were most recently looking for on-line.
2. I've clicked "Like" on only a few sites/posts. If a post is relevant, I'll comment. As for clicking Like on a page, I don't want my friends to get "suggested posts" from paid sponsors with the caption "Athena53 likes Mom's Tattoo Parlor".
3. Oh, the endless "Share this picture of a rose if you have a daughter you love with all your heart", "Don't forget to share this recipe for Cheesy Peanut Butter and Chocolate Pie with Whipped Cream and Caramel Topping to your time line", "I bet you can't think of a state with the letter O in its name", etc. I ignore them all.
4. I've hidden all the status updates from people playing Bejeweled Blitz, Farmville, etc. You can request that all status updates related to a particular game be hidden. Very convenient.
5. I try to stay out of arguments but have one HS classmate who's got polar opposite views from mine. Worse, she doesn't argue logically and she misspells and doesn't seem to know when and when not to use an apostrophe. I try to be tactful but I swear, the next time she makes an inane, illogical, emotional post I'm going to donate $1,000 to an organization she considers to be the devil incarnate. I'll tell her, of course.