Ladies...rules of thumb?

I caught the interest of my wife by making her smile and think that I was more witty and amusing than I really am and will be...... and, at the same time, letting her know -in a subtle way- that she was too pretty, nice, smart and capable for me. Which was, and is, the truth, actually. To sum it up: My strategy? A variation of the "mothering" approach.

She runs the marriage show. Which suits me fine:)
 
haha said:
This recent trun in the thread will is not going to be real helpful to 2ndCor. :)

Ha
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Thanks, Ha. I've been here long enough to know that threads rarely stay on topic very long.

Thanks to all who gave advice...for those who want to continue with the other stuff, please carry on....

2Cor521
 
vicente solano said:
..letting her know -in a subtle way- that she was too pretty, nice, smart and capable for me. Which was, and is, the truth, actually. ...:)
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Very sage wisdom. DW thinks I worship the ground she walks on (and I do). Whenever we are dressed to go out, I comment on how fabulous she looks (and she does). And she is a fabulous conversationalist while I tend to be a good listener.
 
Meadbh said:
Hey, maybe that's why I'm single.....my standards are too high! :LOL:
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More likely, you are UNWILLING to lower your standards LOW enough to catch "Mr. Right"........:LOL:
 
Many of DWs girlfriends are alone by choice. All were married. None will settle for good-enough. One who was alone or 20 years is now in a committed relationship (5 years and counting) because someone who was right showed up.
 
Bestwifeever said:
"Where do you want to go?" "I dunno, where do you want to go?" "I don't care, you pick." "No, you choose." conversation even if you're just going out with a friend, let alone a date.
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:) After a conversation like that I would likely excuse myself to go to the ladies room and never be seen again by the prospective date.

Someone else wrote that women are alone by choice - I know this one is. I like my own company and this way I'm still hoping that one day my prince will come. Once you've settled....well, there's nothing to wait for...
 
Bestwifeever said:
Good luck, SecondCor--enjoy the journey into DateLand. Only advice is to have an idea of where to spend the evening when you make the date, even if you invite her input; it's not good to have the "Where do you want to go?" "I dunno, where do you want to go?" "I don't care, you pick." "No, you choose." conversation even if you're just going out with a friend, let alone a date.

And read this thread before you go out :) : http://www.early-retirement.org/forums/f27/the-case-against-remarriage-53299-16.html#post1057067
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My EX would pull that crap.

Classic passive-aggressive: I refuse input and then reserve the right to criticize whatever is done.
 
Khan said:
My EX would pull that crap.

Classic passive-aggressive: I refuse input and then reserve the right to criticize whatever is done.
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You've learned and moved on. Happy to know you're exploring new relationships on your terms.
 
Purron said:
You've learned and moved on. Happy to know you're exploring new relationships on your terms.
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All negotiations shall be up front and agreed upon beforehand; I'm getting to old for this crap.
 
Khan said:
All negotiations shall be up front and agreed upon beforehand; I'm getting to old for this crap.
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True story, one of my friends recently went through a divorce and at age 50 decided to "hit the dating scene" again. He signed up for one of those online dating sites and ending up meeting with one prospect. As he relates it:

"She was nice but seemed to be in a hurry about everything. We agreed to a second date, and I took her to a really nice restaurant so we could spend more time getting to know one another. The waiter approached to take our order and she sent him away. She leaned forward and said:

"Listen, you seem like a really great guy. However, it would be stupid to spend $150-$200 on dinner and drinks just to try to impress me, we are both too old for games. What do ya say we catch a fish fry at the VFW and have a couple cheap drinks. If we can still stand each other after that, then maybe we can keep this thing going".........

He said: "What do you think of that"? and I said: Book a flight to Vegas and "MARRY HER NOW"!!!!! :LOL::LOL:
 
Try an on line dating service. It will allow you to chat with others before you meet them or even have to disclose your name. When they are interested they will give you their phone number.

You might meet a nice gal that turns out just to be a good friend, but that is ok. She might be able to give you much advice.

Take it slowly, don't expect too much. Be your self and just have fun.

For a first date, I would choose either lunch or an early dinner out near a place where you can spend more time should you wish to. I live by the ocean so my choice would be
a restaurant near the ocean where there is a place take a walk and sit.

Your objective of a first date should be able to get a second date if you so desire and not much else. Should thing not work out, then think of it as good practice for the next person that you date.

Remember that dating in your middle years is different as people now have jobs, kids, house work, bills to pay, aging parents and other responsibilities that all take time.
 
Bimmerbill said:
I always think of posting a request to set up an ER forum online dating section. Finding someone that knows what LBYM means, and doesn't have 10 maxed out CCs appears to be tough.
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+1!!!

Sadly DW has decided to cut me loose after 20 (mostly happy) years. I have no desire to live the rest of my life alone (I'm only 54) but I dread getting back into the dating scene. I'm not ashamed to say I'm damn fussy when it comes to picking life partners, and I would expect the same of her. I don't want to make any frogette/princess comments but I expect to have a lot of uncomfortable dates before the right lady comes along.

Finding someone with compatible values is a huge part of the challenge. Obviously the folks here share some pretty important values. I think a "seeking compatible ER partner" section would provide a great and valuable service to some of the members here.
 
GaryInCO said:
+1!!!

Sadly DW has decided to cut me loose after 20 (mostly happy) years. I have no desire to live the rest of my life alone (I'm only 54) but I dread getting back into the dating scene. I'm not ashamed to say I'm damn fussy when it comes to picking life partners, and I would expect the same of her. I don't want to make any frogette/princess comments but I expect to have a lot of uncomfortable dates before the right lady comes along.

Finding someone with compatible values is a huge part of the challenge. Obviously the folks here share some pretty important values. I think a "seeking compatible ER partner" section would provide a great and valuable service to some of the members here.
Click to expand...
If you just date, rather than look for another (partial?) life partner, you don't have to care what her finances look like. It's her domain.

In my limited experience anyway, attractive women are pretty good at pulling a fresh rabbit out of the hat whenever they need a new rabbit.
 
haha said:
In my limited experience anyway, attractive women are pretty good at pulling a fresh rabbit out of the hat whenever they need a new rabbit.
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:ROFLMAO::ROFLMAO::ROFLMAO::ROFLMAO:

You kill me, Sir Haha! :D
 
GaryInCO said:
Finding someone with compatible values is a huge part of the challenge. Obviously the folks here share some pretty important values. I think a "seeking compatible ER partner" section would provide a great and valuable service to some of the members here.
Click to expand...
Well, even though we talk about our lives and finances, most want to remain anonymous. 'Course then again...there is this thread...

http://www.early-retirement.org/forums/f27/recent-photo-50002.html?highlight=recent

haha said:
In my limited experience anyway, attractive women are pretty good at pulling a fresh rabbit out of the hat whenever they need a new rabbit.
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:-X
 
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