People that talk in theatres

[ziggy29]

Why is the spelling a factor?

Not sure. Duz speling cownt?

 

[MichaelB]

Thank you all for your feedback and judgment. Likewise to those posts limited to criticizing spelling and such.

The show we attended was billed as an “Original Version”, not the children’s or family versions. It was an evening ballet by adults for adults, and the audience composition reflected this. Bringing children to shows is fine, even recommended as it contributes to a positive and well rounded education. In situations like these, however, parental guidance is needed.

I see I am in good company and not the only one to lament texters, talkers and other ill-mannered patrons. It seems there are no easy ways to deal with this. It’s like people posting obnoxious responses to legitimate questions – just best to ignore.

BTW, theatre is correctly spelled.

We will continue to go to movies, shows and concerts (if we have any money left) but will be more selective when choosing venue and time.

Merry Christmas to all

Michael

 

[REWahoo]

What on earth does spelling have to do with people talking in theaters/theatres?

Punctuation, on the other hand...

YouTube - Victor Borge Phonetic Pronunciation

 

[tangomonster]

I'm with you 100%, Michael! We swore off live Nutcracker performances years ago, even before the advent of cell phones. In addition to the ever-present rudeness of people talking, it was the video recorders that did us in. Although it was a professional ballet company performing, there were local kids in the production. Their parents would stand and block our view while taping the parts their kids were in. Not good!

In a way, I welcome people's rudeness at live events because it then justifies my not supporting cultural activities. I do believe in the arts and feel a little guilty about not seeing more stuff live, but tickets are so expensive and I don't get that much more from a live performance/film showing than I do buying a CD or renting a DVD.

People's attention spans are so short these days that I think they honestly can't concentrate on a two-hour performance. There aren't any opportunities to learn impulse control, when you can constantly get and receive phone calls, no matter where you are (even the local library allows it, as long as you speak "quietly").

And there is no escaping the rudeness, no matter how high-brow the venue or performance. Even the symphony had its share of people talking and playing with their phones (not to mention the jangling jewelry and paper rustling from the free cough drops that were provided). In fact, it seemed to me that many people were there not for the music but for the dress-up opportunity and the gala event atmosphere. I actually heard some people ask each other who and what they would be hearing (to them it was just a generic night out, not a carefully selected program that appealed to them).

I don't agree with your wife's instructions on ignoring it. Easier said than done for some of us. We have different nervous systems and some of us are more sensitive to noise and other distractions/invasions/obstacles/threats than others.

 

[clifp]

If someone is talking during a performance, I first do the Sssshhhh thing, followed by the Stare thing.
If neither works, I will actually say very loudly "I'll be right back. I need to get the usher so he(she) can evict people who are talking out loud right now."
You can hear a pin drop after that.
.

Not sure I'd ever have the nerve to actually call an usher, but next time I am really POed I'll say that.

 

[ERD50]

Not sure I'd ever have the nerve to actually call an usher, but next time I am really POed I'll say that.

So what is the best, constructive way to deal with this? I know a few times, I've just stewed so much about it that it ruined the evening for me. And when I do the hush/stare thing to no avail, it just makes me madder. I've never called an usher, or threatened to though - I'm wondering if that is a good approach.

I need to actually 'practice' ahead of time if I think it may be an issue. I really hate it when I end up saying "Excuse me, but could I ask you not to talk during the performance, it is distracting the people around you, thanks....".

The reason I hate that is, by saying 'Excuse me,..." it makes it sound as if *I* am asking them a favor, or interrupting them. Hey, I'm not the one doing anything wrong - why should *I* be saying pretty-please and all? But it always comes out that way. I guess I really need to say " Hello - your talking is distracting us from the performance - should I call the usher to have you removed, or will you be silent so the rest of us can enjoy the show?" .

Some of these events don't have ushers though. It's even been school presentations, not even my kid up there, but I'd like to see their performance. And two people in front of us will be going on about getting their tires rotated or something in a normal conversational voice, as if they were the only ones in the room. Once, I *was* taping my kid in a program, I had to turn to the people behind me and tell them that my microphone was picking up their conversation, and I was trying to record the band. They asked a little embarrassed, and were quiet after that, but what are they thinking, talking out load during someone else's performance?

I think it is another one of those things that should cause a person to be ineligible to vote. If you are that inconsiderate of the people you share your govt with, I don't want you to have a voice in it. Litterers too. That is not tongue-in-cheek. I'm serious.

-ERD50

 

[CuppaJoe]

...
One refreshing difference is when we go to music festivals. I've never once encountered rude or inconsiderate folks sitting nearby when. Even the kids are good. But these are most often hippie kids, that are to my mind much less obnoxious than typical yuppie suburban brats.
....

I, too, enjoy the relaxed calm nature of hippy crowds; maybe it's something in the air.

 

[ERD50]

One refreshing difference is when we go to music festivals. I've never once encountered rude or inconsiderate folks sitting nearby when. Even the kids are good. But these are most often hippie kids, that are to my mind much less obnoxious than typical yuppie suburban brats.

I can see that. I think the difference is that those people are there because they love the music and the experience, they aren't just there for 'something to do', or to brag "I was at the <fill in mega-star> concert>!". They had to go out of their way to attend the event, and it's usually not a status thing for them.

-ERD50

 

[clifp]

So what is the best, constructive way to deal with this? I know a few times, I've just stewed so much about it that it ruined the evening for me. And when I do the hush/stare thing to no avail, it just makes me madder. I've never called an usher, or threatened to though - I'm wondering if that is a good approach.

I
-ERD50

I am pretty easy going so I just tune the distraction out and don't let the small stuff bother me. Interestingly enough my ex-girlfriend and sister both were talkers (and also complained about others talking) so I sometimes sush them.

However, since this is clearly ruining your enjoyment and you are not alone. I suggest being proactive and preparing before you go out to an event. In the days when smoking in public was acceptable, my sister use to carry a battery powered fan and point it at the offending smoker. It worked ok a keeping the smoke away and great and getting the person to stop smoking.

I'd suggest printing up some business cards or notes. That say something to the effect.
"I paid money to hear this performance, not you. Please be quite, or I will contact the management." You can then pass out the card to the offending party. Make sure they cards are easily readable in a dark setting.

 

[SC]

I completely agree with the OP. When we saw the Nutcracker last year there were many families with well-behaved children, and one family (very near us, naturally) whose children were either wandering around or talking/whining very loudly the whole time. The parents didn't care a bit and made no effort to hush them, ignoring the "evil eyes" sent their way. It really ruined the show for DW & I so I'm sympathetic to the OP's point of view.

Lately -- say, the last two years or so -- it seems like there are more and more people who can't put their gadgets down and enjoy the show. The most recent performance we attended, there was a guy two rows up that kept holding his cell phone way in the air and taking pictures and videos, and showing them excitedly to his girlfriend across the aisle, who was doing the same thing. (Her phone wasn't in our line of sight, at least.) His phone flashed a super-bright LED at us at about one flash per second when it was taking video, and this may sound like a little thing, but in a darkened room the LED and the bright screen appeared to us as about the same brightness as the stage. Finally, I got up in the middle of the performance and asked him to put the phone away, because it was really distracting to those of us behind him. Luckily he acted sheepish and did put it away, but it's amazing how some people can be so oblivious or unconcerned about disturbing the people around them.

I'm lucky that this doesn't bother DW; in fact, I try to make the first move because she wouldn't be as polite about it.

 

[Sarah in SC]

SC, you leave us all wondering if your DW has a machete in her purse for those occasions when you don't pipe up first!

But we have active imaginations...

And Cuppa, yeah, there could be something to that...something in the air O0

 

[TromboneAl]

I was at a concert and an older woman in the row behind me answered a cell phone and started talking. I rolled up my program, reached back, and tapped her on the top of the head. Not a good idea, but it was effective in this instance.

 

[lazygood4nothinbum]

Looking for some judgmental feedback here.

not a problem: spelling theater as theatre doesn't distract from the fact that it should be people who talk in theaters not people that talk in theaters....hey, you asked for judgmental.

Why is the spelling a factor?

my judgmental response conformed precisely to the op's direct request for "judgmental feedback" (though i suspected misuse of the word judgmental--i wasn't making fun; i was just playing along) in judging the use of the variant spelling theatre instead of theater as being haughty, or, perhaps better familiar to you, as being subterfuge distracting in that case, but not in yours, from the grammatical faux pas of objectifying people.

well, maybe in your case as well. so now you can judge that, whydontchya.

 

[ERD50]

However, since this is clearly ruining your enjoyment and you are not alone. I suggest being proactive and preparing before you go out to an event.

...

I'd suggest printing up some business cards or notes. That say something to the effect.

"I paid money to hear this performance, not you. Please be quite, or I will contact the management." You can then pass out the card to the offending party. Make sure they cards are easily readable in a dark setting.

Thanks. That thought has crossed my mind. Yes, I think I will actually do that for future outings. Maybe make it more generic like 'distracting', in case it is a phone display or something other than noise.

-ERD50

 

[Fireup2020]

Clif - great idea about the cards! I agree with most about courtesy in theatres - shut up - people paid for this - let them enjoy the performers! Free outdoor concerts or music festivals are a different thing. I sit far enough from the stage that it can be background music for whatever was going on before we came across the outdoor concert. Same with music festivals - life goes on at the festival. I have summoned an usher successfully in the past (after a verbal admonishment/request)

 

[thefed]

I was at a concert and an older woman in the row behind me answered a cell phone and started talking. I rolled up my program, reached back, and tapped her on the top of the head. Not a good idea, but it was effective in this instance.

are you serious?

 

[freebird5825]

I was at a concert and an older woman in the row behind me answered a cell phone and started talking. I rolled up my program, reached back, and tapped her on the top of the head. Not a good idea, but it was effective in this instance.

You da man!

 

[REWahoo]

Back on topic...

(CNN) -- A man angry that a family was talking during a movie threw popcorn at the son and then shot the father in the arm, according to police in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania.

James Joseph Cialella, 29, was charged with attempted murder, aggravated assault and weapons violations, a police report said.

Man shoots talker at movies, police say - CNN.com

 

[aaronc879]

Back on topic...

(CNN) -- A man angry that a family was talking during a movie threw popcorn at the son and then shot the father in the arm, according to police in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania.

James Joseph Cialella, 29, was charged with attempted murder, aggravated assault and weapons violations, a police report said.

Man shoots talker at movies, police say - CNN.com

This won't be the last story like this if people keep talking and using cell phones in movie theatres. I blame the father who was asked to be quite and instead of doing so as he should have, he argued with the guy. Be quite and watch the movie!

 

[ERD50]

This won't be the last story like this if people keep talking and using cell phones in movie theatres. I blame the father who was asked to be quite and instead of doing so as he should have, he argued with the guy. Be quite and watch the movie!

Maybe instead of the printed cards that clifp suggested, I should judst make copies of that article to hand out?

Or, follow up T-Al's suggestion:

I rolled up my program, reached back, and tapped her on the top of the head.

with...

"and I've got a gun".

-ERD50

 

[haha]

From this thread I think some of you maybe don't have long to live.

Ha

 

[Nords]

Crowd rudeness is one of the reasons I only go to movies a couple times a year. The best ones are the 10 AM weekday [-]unemployment[/-] retiree specials, preferably for the last week of a movie's run. Usually there are only two or three other hermits in the seats.

Unfortunately many of our local cineplexes have started rolling video [-]commercials[/-] feeds on the screen before the "real" pre-movie ads begin. I can wear earplugs and I can avoid looking at a slideshow but I have a hard time ignoring a flashy, fast-moving video feed.

I don't watch TV at home and don't even watch DVDs or videos. Not sure why I go to the movie theater, unless it's for the big-screen & sound effects "theater experience". When that starts being more pain than pleasure then I'm done buying tickets.

I haven't seen a stage play or an opera in 30 years, unless you count school productions and elementary school field trips. No rock concerts since MTV got going. I paid real money to watch a local stand-up comedian in 1990, and the people who talked during his performance got his direct personal attention for an unforgettable experience-- worth every penny!

 

[Leonidas]

From this thread I think some of you maybe don't have long to live.

I was thinking about your post tonight when we went to see The Curious Case of Benjamin Button. Early on in the movie, a baby started crying and after it went on for a while, and got louder, some people started saying "shhhh". Apparently it went too far for the mother, because I heard her say, "Don't be starting no sh*t up in here." The shushing stopped, as if on cue.

 

[aaronc879]

I was thinking about your post tonight when we went to see The Curious Case of Benjamin Button. Early on in the movie, a baby started crying and after it went on for a while, and got louder, some people started saying "shhhh". Apparently it went too far for the mother, because I heard her say, "Don't be starting no sh*t up in here." The shushing stopped, as if on cue.

There's no excuse for bringing a child that young to a movie theatre. If you do bring a very young child to the theatre you need to leave if it starts crying like that.

 

[dex]

I was thinking about your post tonight when we went to see The Curious Case of Benjamin Button. Early on in the movie, a baby started crying and after it went on for a while, and got louder, some people started saying "shhhh". Apparently it went too far for the mother, because I heard her say, "Don't be starting no sh*t up in here." The shushing stopped, as if on cue.

I'm guessing that the management would have given money back to those that wanted it.

I haven't been to the movies for awhile - none of them interest me.