Relocation Just To Change Scenery?

[Midpack]

We may be alone, but in the end DW and I may relocate largely because we just want a change in scenery. Our families are spread out all over, so they aren't keeping us. But our established friends are holding us back, that may be the only thing. And we assume making new friends will be harder now that we're older.

We've seen all the sights, all the stores, all the restaurants, etc. where we are. We like new things, they come slowly where we are. It may be because we're both military brats who moved as kids, and my career kept us moving as well. Being in one place for the last 20 years just isn't normal to us. The more new discoveries we're confronted with, the happier we are - it's more exciting to us.

I know most people like the familiarity of their home town, for family & friends, and because the don't enjoy too much change. They like to put down roots. We seem to get bored without constant changes.

Just a minor epiphany maybe, that doesn't resonate with many others. It may be the straw that pushes us off dead center on relocation, we've been 'contemplating' too long.

 

[euro]

I totally get your point. If it were up to just me, I'd be moving around much more. My DW on the other hand is really attached to her (amazing) garden that took her 20+ years to establish, so she won't even consider moving to a smaller place in the same neighborhood....

 

[W2R]

I think you should do it! Since you were military brats, I am convinced that you know perfectly well how to make new friends and I don't think you should let that stop you or slow you down for even one second. Just move.

Also, I am not sure if you travel much or not, but traveling more might be a great idea for you too. Maybe a "lock-n-leave condo" at the new location would be a good option because you could travel more easily.

Have you thought about where you might like to live? There are so many beautiful parts of the country to choose from, or maybe you want to live abroad.

 

[2017ish]

Definitely understand the thirst for new and different. We anticipate doing this via 6 months of travel a year; if, as some warn, we get tired of that, I could see us moving in a few years after we have had a chance to explore our present area a bit more.

(Unlike you, we've lived in just two cities since our early 20s, due to jobs. Time to make up for it!)

 

[Alan]

Relocation Just To Change Scenery?

That's a great reason to move, and much easier to do in retirement than while working because if the place you move to doesn't work out you can easily move back, or move somewhere else.

 

[Midpack]

Thanks. See below.

Since you were military brats, I am convinced that you know perfectly well how to make new friends and I don't think you should let that stop you or slow you down for even one second. Yes, though we're a little out of practice, we've done it many times. But the younger you are, the easier it is to make new friends. And you have school, sports, jobs to help you meet new people. Everything I hear suggests it will be more difficult as 60-something's, though not impossible - we'll just have to join more organized groups probably to get a toehold.

Have you thought about where you might like to live? There are so many beautiful parts of the country to choose from, or maybe you want to live abroad. We've thought a lot about it, and keep coming back to Raleigh-Durham-Chapel Hill in NC even though we've never lived anywhere near there. And we're considering selling our current house and spending 12-months in Europe, 12 in New England and/or 12 in the Caribbeam before moving to NC.

 

[W2R]

But the younger you are, the easier it is to make new friends. And you have school, sports, jobs to help you meet new people. Everything I hear suggests it will be more difficult as 60-something's, though not impossible - well just have to join more organized groups probably to get a toehold.

Yes, and remember that you also have the internet as a way to get in touch with groups of other people nearby who are in their 60's. The internet is a great tool for projects like finding friends. I think you might be surprised at how easy it is to find friends now, compared with when you were a kid. Plus, since you don't have to work, you can spend a lot more time on the "making new friends project" than you could in the past.

You know how it is; some people just don't have room in their lives for another friend, but you know it's not their fault so you skip over them and go to the next one, until you find some friends. Those first friends may be a little blah, but through them you meet scads of other people and can make friends with others that you like lots better. I'm not saying it's easy to make new friends, but for me the hardest part was always just making a toehold with that first friend or two. Once you have that done, the rest is so much easier.

As much of an introvert as I am, when I moved to New Orleans from Baton Rouge, I knew I had to play the extrovert and find some friends since I knew nobody here (and was newly divorced, fat, lonely, and 51 ). Everybody says it's hard to make friends in New Orleans because it is so clique-y, but people say that about anywhere one is planning to move to. It's a lie, BTW. I got on the internet and found some groups (even formed one group myself), and then devoted all weekend every weekend to finding new friends, and had more than you could shake a stick at within a couple of months. They didn't have meetup dot com back then but I understand it is wonderful.

We've thought a lot about it, and keep coming back to Raleigh-Durham-Chapel Hill in NC even though we've never lived anywhere near there.

Like you, I have heard some wonderful things about that area. My understanding is that it has grown a lot in recent decades, but hopefully it has remained as nice as it once was.

And we're considering selling our current house and spending 12-months in Europe, 12 in New England and/or 12 in the Caribbeam before moving to NC.

Oh good idea!! Also if you do this before buying another home, then you have the option of falling in love with New England or wherever, and deciding to buy there instead. I love the idea of keeping one's options open.


Exciting times ahead!

 

[Bestwifeever]

It sounds like you've been bored for 20 years, without the constant changes you and your DW crave? What is stopping you now from moving?

 

[MRG]

I call it normal.

Our families are scattered too, no kids either.

When we left PA for KC we were only 21 looking for an opportunity. We moved around the metro area never staying in a home more than 10 years.

Last year finally found somewhere we both love after 10 years of looking. I know there's a few downsides but overall we're both happier, and every day is a new adventure.

Good luck.

 

[Danmar]

Understand your point of view. We get around being bored in one place by owning multiple places. New friends, new envireonment, pretty exciting. Obviously not practical for most people, so I can see why one might want to periodically move. Eventually, I guess, most people get older and moving isn't very practical either. Do it when you can.

Before I retired, I thought it would be fun long term renting in exotic places in Europe of Asia. Decided to buy in North America instead. Lots of ways to have fun.

 

[JoeWras]

Midpack: also consider relocating to a place maybe on the forefront of self driving cars, since I know that is important to you.

I see you are considering relocating to where a few of us members live. Good choice and future welcome.

As for transportation... Our area still has this dream of light rail. I'd prefer they shelve it in favor of some sort of SDC corridor. I think this could be done quicker, even with today's technology. But I digress... We can pick that up on the other thread.

 

[Fermion]

Are you thinking just a one time move or paring down your stuff and renting a house in a new area every couple of years?

 

[Midpack]

It sounds like you've been bored for 20 years, without the constant changes you and your DW crave? What is stopping you now from moving?

Not bored for 20 years or we would have moved, a more recent realization. We were very excited to be here at first, just one example: we literally tried 150+ new restaurants in Chicago the first few years - and loved it! But we've kinda exhausted the possibilities here, or at least the rate of new attractions.

What's stopping us?

• As I noted, good friends here (who will never move).
• I thought DW would retire 5 years ago, but she is still holding on - she is thinking this year might be it (finally).
• And we don't want to make a mistake moving, and have to move again. I can accept realtors fees, moving expenses, replacing some furniture/appliances and making new friends once, but we'd like to avoid twice. [We'll rent first to be sure wherever we choose]
• DW wants a climate that doesn't exist anywhere we're willing to afford.

 

[REWahoo]

We may be alone, but in the end DW and I may relocate largely because we just want a change in scenery.

We have an RV to scratch that itch.

Love the idea we can take off almost at the drop of a hat to live temporarily in a new location - and a change of scenery is easy to accomplish without the major hassle of packing, moving and unpacking all our worldly possessions.

 

[braumeister]

I have the same approach, having moved many, many times during my military career. In fact, I would have moved to a different area long ago except that DW has very deep roots here and absolutely no interest in ever leaving.

Since it's a good area that I mostly like, I'm OK with staying here. But in your case I definitely think you should go for it.

 

[W2R]

We have an RV to scratch that itch.

Love the idea we can take off almost at the drop of a hat to live temporarily in a new location - and a change of scenery is easy to accomplish without the major hassle of packing, moving and unpacking all our worldly possessions.

That's a great idea.

We still have zero desire to travel or move. I guess we are in the mode that Midpack and his DW were in, when they were checking out those 150+ restaurants over the years. Instead of investigating new locations, we are just digging deeper into our present location and exploring more around here in New Orleans. This place just does not get boring. Also, I kind of "scratched that itch" to move by moving 3 miles across town to my dream house. For me, a different and more wonderful house was enough, for now, and I am more focused on setting down roots than on moving these days.

P.S. - - Midpack, if your good friends will never move, maybe they would come to visit you. This is especially likely if you choose a resort location for your next home. When my parents retired to a beachfront home in Hawaii, everybody they ever knew wanted to come visit and stay at our house. My mother felt like she was running a B&B for a while until she learned to say "no".

 

[ExFlyBoy5]

I think the military brat thing has definite bearing on this. I have noticed that after about 5 years, I am ready to move on and see new places, and I think this is from being in the Air Force. I have been "back home" since 2012 and am more than ready to move on. I have often heard that you can "never go home" and that rings true for me...there have been so many changes (many of them good, of course) that it's not "home" for me anymore. Once Dad has passed on, then it will be time for us to get move on along.

The only issue I foresee though is that we will most likely relocated back to my DW's neck of the woods, where most of her family lives it could be permanent and I am not sure that I want that so early in life. I would like to travel and stay places for extended periods sooner than later. I don't want to get up in the years and have regrets that I didn't do that sooner.

Edit: On the "friends" portion of your concern. I have friends that are all over the world and although I don't see them nearly as often as I would like to, I think that when I do see them, it makes it all the more special. Also, my Dad moved away from home in the 1930's and he has maintained contact with many of his friends although there aren't many of them still around.

 

[Bestwifeever]

Not bored for 20 years or we would have moved, a more recent realization. We were very excited to be here at first, just one example: we literally tried 150+ new restaurants in Chicago the first few years - and loved it! But we've kinda exhausted the possibilities here, or at least the rate of new attractions.

What's stopping us?

• As I noted, good friends here (who will never move).
• I thought DW would retire 5 years ago, but she is still holding on - she is thinking this year might be it (finally).
• And we don't want to make a mistake moving, and have to move again. I can accept realtors fees, moving expenses, replacing some furniture/appliances and making new friends once, but we'd like to avoid twice. [We'll rent first to be sure wherever we choose]
• DW wants a climate that doesn't exist anywhere we're willing to afford.

It might be very hard for you to move, given the above. Life is short. Do you think your DW's eventual retirement will be enough to overcome the other three items on the "con" list?

 

[Gotadimple]

I met a couple while travelling who do move frequently. He was a NASA scientist and was prohibited from foreign travel during his career. After retirement, they sold their home and decided to live in a different city until they wanted a change.

At that time they had spent a year in Kansas City, in St. Louis, and were currently living in a leased apartment in downtown Philadelphia.

Something to think about.

 

[wrigley]

Not bored for 20 years or we would have moved, a more recent realization. We were very excited to be here at first, just one example: we literally tried 150+ new restaurants in Chicago the first few years - and loved it! But we've kinda exhausted the possibilities here, or at least the rate of new attractions.

What's stopping us?

• As I noted, good friends here (who will never move).
• I thought DW would retire 5 years ago, but she is still holding on - she is thinking this year might be it (finally).
• And we don't want to make a mistake moving, and have to move again. I can accept realtors fees, moving expenses, replacing some furniture/appliances and making new friends once, but we'd like to avoid twice. [We'll rent first to be sure wherever we choose]
• DW wants a climate that doesn't exist anywhere we're willing to afford.

OHHHH.....you're in Chicago. I was born and raised there and am the only one in my LARGE family that no longer lives there. Chicago is a beautiful city but the winters s^ck.

My wife and I are not military brats, we are both military retirees. And because of that reason we are staying put in sunny Florida forever (that.......and the fact that both of our children and our only grandchild is here). Good luck to you.

Mike

 

[RunningBum]

When I moved from the Triangle area in 2000, part of it was because it seemed like it was all shopping malls and big box stores and chain restaurants. Certainly there is some local flavor still there, and spring and fall are gorgeous, but I had had enough. You may see it differently, but you may move here and find out 6 months later it isn't all that different. OTOH, if I get to where I feel I need to live closer to medical facilities, and perhaps public transportation, it's a place I'd consider moving back to.

 

[Koolau]

Never lived very far from where I was born in the midwest until we moved to HI. It's a big change, but we've adapted quickly. Probably the only thing that would make us move again would be "invoking" one of our FIRE back-up plans. Our old stomping grounds (or similar) would allow us to live much more inexpensively if that were ever necessary. Other than that, I think our moving days are over. Even though we live on a 600 square mile rock, we've never gotten bored with it. YMMV

 

[Marita40]

Life is short so why not? If you don't like where you move you can move again.
I happen to love the Twin Cities so I know I'll stay here through retirement. However I am also quite sure I'll be a snowbird for at least three months each year. Have you considered that option?

 

[Fedup]

I moved quite often when I was younger, it helped me adapt to moving much quicker than my husband. Maybe it's his nature, he is very sentimental sort. So I think it depends on the spouse. I solve that itch by traveling, so far so good. But my family is all here, my mom and dad were buried close by and I grew up here. Everything is very familiar to me. I'm having a hard time keeping up with new restaurants. But California is a huge place. I won't get bored easily.

 

[Midpack]

Life is short so why not? If you don't like where you move you can move again.

Yes, but as I mentioned earlier, moving is expensive and making new friends takes time - so I can't be quite that cavalier about it. Once is fine, but we'd be disappointed if we went through that expense and effort two or more times.