chinaco
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
- Joined
- Feb 14, 2007
- Messages
- 5,072
We placed my mother in a nursing home this weekend. We had been discussing it with her for a while. Took her on a tour of the facility a few weeks ago to try to get her use to the idea. Still, she was apprehensive. I think she was upset a little. I spent the first day with her. One of my siblings will spend the next day. All we can do from here on out is keep an eye on things and visit regularly (be there for her).
I feel a little relieved now. Making that decision was very difficult. Her condition was not one that was caused by an event (like a massive stroke). In that case it would have been an easy decision. Her problem has been a long drawn out steady decline. It was difficult to judge when to make the move. Ultimately the medical issues were too much for us to handle. The burden of providing the help was starting to get very difficult also. The RN at the Day Care advised me about 2 months ago that we should consider an NH. That discussion with her helped me to make the decision.
The cost is brutal. Aside from the normal room cost (which covers a lot), there are many small additional costs. Plus, due to the state law regarding drugs, I have had some trouble getting them to accept her current Medicare Part D provider. I am working that one.
Anyway the basic cost ex any medical will be about $62k/yr semi-private. We will me her into a Private room if when becomes available... it is about $75k/yr. Because of her health issues, I expect the total cost (not including new medical issues, hospitalization for new complications) to be around $80k - $85k/yr.
Essentially this will take most of the estate. This is not financial problem for her. My father passed away several years ago so she is the lone surviving spouse. I can remember that she was really worried when my father went into an NH because of the costs. She took care of him for a long time. When he went to an NH he only lived about 1.5 years in there (he was in bad shapre).
However, it is a lesson about LTC. Spouses should have it to protect the surviving spouse (if you have a nest egg). There is no telling how long she will be in the home.
Here are some numbers.
*) Day Care for Mom - $40k (actual) - needed for about 4 years prior to NH
*) Home Health for Mom - $20k (estimated since family did the work)
*) Day Care for Dad - $40k (estimated since Mom did it all... used moms cost) - Needed for about 4 years prior to NH
*) Home Health for Dad - $20k (estimated since Mom did it all)
*) Nursing Home for Dad - $100k (actual)
*) Nursing Home for Mom - $100k - $250k (estimated... no way to know yet but she could linger)
This totals to a range of $320k - $470k. The family actually bore the burden in effort of about $120k. That was not too bad on us helping mom, but it was difficult for her to help my father.
LTC is very important because of the toll it takes on the family (in effort) and the basic cost. Many LTC plans would have covered Day Care, Home Health, and NH.
If you look at the cost above in terms of $ and effort (not including the stress which should have a cost)... LTC premiums pale.
Here is my take on LTC: Get it. Use a Highly Rated provider that has a good track record. Even if you do not get a great inflation rider on it, it will help to defray much of the cost and perhaps cover the lesser cost of home health and day care early on. Compare the potential cost of assistance on a PV basis versus projected premiums. It is likely to make sense if you do not have a spouse because of just protecting assets for the estate. If you have a spouse... that is another matter. My view is (unless you have several million $)... you cannot afford to retire unless you have LTC covered. Plus, it will vex your thoughts later if you do not have it.
DW and I have a policy with a reputable company with an inflation provision. It is fairly inexpensive today. As we age the inflation protection provision will step up the cost. But still... It is much cheaper than what I have witnessed. And even after the cost of premiums... I am praying the DW and I will not ever need to use it (My premiums were only bought peace of mind)... I am hoping it goes to some other poor unfortunate!
I feel a little relieved now. Making that decision was very difficult. Her condition was not one that was caused by an event (like a massive stroke). In that case it would have been an easy decision. Her problem has been a long drawn out steady decline. It was difficult to judge when to make the move. Ultimately the medical issues were too much for us to handle. The burden of providing the help was starting to get very difficult also. The RN at the Day Care advised me about 2 months ago that we should consider an NH. That discussion with her helped me to make the decision.
The cost is brutal. Aside from the normal room cost (which covers a lot), there are many small additional costs. Plus, due to the state law regarding drugs, I have had some trouble getting them to accept her current Medicare Part D provider. I am working that one.
Anyway the basic cost ex any medical will be about $62k/yr semi-private. We will me her into a Private room if when becomes available... it is about $75k/yr. Because of her health issues, I expect the total cost (not including new medical issues, hospitalization for new complications) to be around $80k - $85k/yr.
Essentially this will take most of the estate. This is not financial problem for her. My father passed away several years ago so she is the lone surviving spouse. I can remember that she was really worried when my father went into an NH because of the costs. She took care of him for a long time. When he went to an NH he only lived about 1.5 years in there (he was in bad shapre).
However, it is a lesson about LTC. Spouses should have it to protect the surviving spouse (if you have a nest egg). There is no telling how long she will be in the home.
Here are some numbers.
*) Day Care for Mom - $40k (actual) - needed for about 4 years prior to NH
*) Home Health for Mom - $20k (estimated since family did the work)
*) Day Care for Dad - $40k (estimated since Mom did it all... used moms cost) - Needed for about 4 years prior to NH
*) Home Health for Dad - $20k (estimated since Mom did it all)
*) Nursing Home for Dad - $100k (actual)
*) Nursing Home for Mom - $100k - $250k (estimated... no way to know yet but she could linger)
This totals to a range of $320k - $470k. The family actually bore the burden in effort of about $120k. That was not too bad on us helping mom, but it was difficult for her to help my father.
LTC is very important because of the toll it takes on the family (in effort) and the basic cost. Many LTC plans would have covered Day Care, Home Health, and NH.
If you look at the cost above in terms of $ and effort (not including the stress which should have a cost)... LTC premiums pale.
Here is my take on LTC: Get it. Use a Highly Rated provider that has a good track record. Even if you do not get a great inflation rider on it, it will help to defray much of the cost and perhaps cover the lesser cost of home health and day care early on. Compare the potential cost of assistance on a PV basis versus projected premiums. It is likely to make sense if you do not have a spouse because of just protecting assets for the estate. If you have a spouse... that is another matter. My view is (unless you have several million $)... you cannot afford to retire unless you have LTC covered. Plus, it will vex your thoughts later if you do not have it.
DW and I have a policy with a reputable company with an inflation provision. It is fairly inexpensive today. As we age the inflation protection provision will step up the cost. But still... It is much cheaper than what I have witnessed. And even after the cost of premiums... I am praying the DW and I will not ever need to use it (My premiums were only bought peace of mind)... I am hoping it goes to some other poor unfortunate!