Little late to the thread, but I've witnessed similar unfairness in my family as well. When my dad was still alive, he gave a significant loan to my sister and BIL to buy a new(er) car. When my sister and BIL, and their kids moved closer to my parents, they moved in with them for a year and paid no rent, nor did they pick up the tab for any groceries, utilities, etc... In fact, they never even offered. After my BIL started making over $100k a year several years ago, he never bothered to pay back the original car loan, nor buy anything for my parents as a thank you for letting them live rent/utility/grocery free. During the entire time and for years since then, my parents took them out to dinner, on cruises, etc... My father died a few years ago, and my BIL and sister just bought a new house. Since they couldn't move in immediately, they moved in with my widowed mother for several months, again rent/utility/grocery free. When they moved into their new house, no thank you gift was forthcoming, even though my mother is retired and on a fixed income.
Every time I've gone to visit my mother, I've cleaned her house in various ways (carpets, floors, driveway, boxes out of the garage, etc...) DW complains that I put myself out every time we visit my mother, almost to the point that it's not a vacation anymore.
Could I be resentful of the foregoing? You bet. However, DW and I have done extremely well financially and are continuing to do so. We don't need money from anyone. The only thing that bothers me slightly is that my family members who are local to my mother could step up to the plate more when it comes to helping her take care of her house.
