The son of a modest Texas farmer, Peter wanted a bigger, grander life than his father led, and he worked hard to get it. By age 30, he was running a regional bank and had a wife and two kids.
Over the next two decades, he moved his family 12 times–twice overseas. At 50, he was president of a large financial services firm in New York City. He owned a restored Georgian in a leafy suburb, a ski chalet in Telluride and a small compound in the Caribbean. He traveled for work incessantly, with limousines and Gulfstreams at his beck and call. His board connections led to bids at the most exclusive golf clubs. Peter had become a bona-fide world beater.
Then, one day, his wife of 30 years declared: “I don’t love you anymore. I need a new life.” His kids piled on, saying he’d never “been there” for them. After logging three-quarters of each year on the road, Peter realized he had no real friends to confide in. He got divorced, drank heavily and eventually left his job.
Peter’s net worth had crossed the eight-figure mark years before his life unraveled. He could have hopped off the hamster wheel with plenty of time and riches to spare. And yet he kept running.
“[That behavior] is rampant,” says psychologist Robert Mintz, founder of New Executive Strategies, a management consultancy in Short Hills, N.J. “It’s the kind of thing people don’t talk about–especially men.”
Mintz has gotten a rare glimpse at the underbelly of tireless ambition. In 2000, after 20 years working with hundreds of multimillionaires as a human resources manager for Revlon , Pepsico , Time Warner and Electronic Data Systems , he left corporate life to finish his Ph.D. in psychology.
His dissertation dealt with the messy motivations of workaholic executives. As part of his research, Mintz conducted four-hour interviews with 25 execs, each worth between $5 million and $500 million. Some admitted that they had grown accustomed to the glittery perks of success: toys, praise, glory. But there were darker themes, too.
Some of the men craved the chance to keep proving themselves, perhaps to a doubting authority figure from their past. Others saw work as a getaway from a stale marriage. Still others said they wouldn’t know what to do with themselves if they weren’t working. More time with friends? Many of them had no close friends. Hobbies? You can only play so many rounds of golf. Travel? “They probably want to burn their passports,” says Mintz.
