Does anyone live in a 55+ large community with lots of amenities?

[WhoDaresWins]

I have a conundrum concerning housing.

I don't know how long I'll be able to live alone, but I really like being alone. Can one live in senior housing (of whatever sort) without constantly being told you have to socialize (it's for your own good)?

I have a vision of myself throwing something at the fifth or so person to tell me I shouldn't sit by myself.

Solitude and quiet are the greatest boons of retirement.

I have come to appreciate living alone, too. My dog is an excellent companion, always happy to see me. I am surrounded by yakking people all day and listen to mostly complaints and problems in the office. I have friends nearby and belong to a gym where I can take a class if I desire company. I bought a new house five years ago so I have had no repairs to date and I can hire out any tasks I don't want to do myself. There are a few older kids who live nearby and they don't bother me at all. I don't think I would like living in an age-restricted community.

 

[Sparky]

I think there are definite dangers growing old (especially alone) in a SFH. It can be very isolating, especially here in the northeast, where there's no place to walk and meet neighbors.

 

[Zoocat]

As I see it, the fear of death underlies all the planning and messing around with our "presents" in favor of our "futures".

Ha

So many people are afraid to "die alone." I have heard some women say that as a reason to get married again. What does that really mean? Everyone dies alone! Do people think that they are going to be awake and chatting with all the friends and family surrounding their death bed? Do they think that they will be really "lonely" if they died without a spouse?

Every old person I know who has died has died alone, either in the hospital or in their home and they were asleep when they died!

After being at my mother's death bed I now know that when close to death people are not really "here". They have one foot already in the grave. They literally have already passed on to that other place, whatever that is.

And in reference to the topic-- the idea of living in a planned retirement community makes me shudder with dread.

 

[Zoocat]

And they enjoy the feeling of safety and convenience of riding around in a golf cart everywhere.

LOL! To each his own!

 

[Nords]

The clubhouse was extremely large and well appointed---indoor pool and jacuzzi, yoga/exercise room, card rooms, arts and crafts, etc. Lots of activities. But I'm just not sure we would really take advantage of all the amenities. We don't play tennis. Don't play cards. Don't like the arts and crafts they do (like painting premade ceramics). I think I would use the indoor pool during the winter, but I'm not really sure.
Does anyone live in one of these communities? How often do you participate in activities and use the amenities?

We live in a bedroom community of thousands of homes with seven recreational centers, including at least three pools. One of the better centers/pools is a 15-minute walk from our driveway. We used the centers the first couple years we were here, and then the novelty wore off. Haven't been there in years. (Anyway I don't swim in a pool if I can swim in the ocean.) I'm glad that when we moved here we didn't design our lives around the rec center concept.

OTOH my parents-in-law moved to an over-55 community a couple years ago, and they rave about it. They're not very social but they enjoy having everything available if they want it, and within walking distance.

The construction of their over-55 neighborhood is impressive-- lots of modular design, great access (of course), good layout. Much insulation in the walls and windows so that it's extremely quiet. Between geriatric hearing loss and the construction, I doubt any noise gets very far in that building.

Spouse and I keep going back & forth on our current home. Every time I scamper up & down the slope with a weedwhacker, or swing through the mango trees with a chainsaw, I wonder whether I'm going to want to do this when I'm 82 years old. But we'd give up way too much if we moved just to get rid of the yardwork. I guess we'll revisit the question when our putative grandkids are old enough to want to attend their mother's high school... perhaps residency in exchange for a little yardwork.

 

[Martha]

So many people are afraid to "die alone." I have heard some women say that as a reason to get married again. What does that really mean? Everyone dies alone! Do people think that they are going to be awake and chatting with all the friends and family surrounding their death bed? Do they think that they will be really "lonely" if they died without a spouse?

Every old person I know who has died has died alone, either in the hospital or in their home and they were asleep when they died!

After being at my mother's death bed I now know that when close to death people are not really "here". They have one foot already in the grave. They literally have already passed on to that other place, whatever that is.

And in reference to the topic-- the idea of living in a planned retirement community makes me shudder with dread.

I think people are worried about being sick and vulnerable and alone.

 

[Zoocat]

I think people are worried about being sick and vulnerable and alone.

Well, there you go. The exact definition of very old age. But why does it presume that an over-55 community will alleviate this condition? Better to have friends in the same condition? Sorry for the cynicism. I think I better go check my attitude.

 

[Nords]

Well, there you go. The exact definition of very old age. But why does it presume that an over-55 community will alleviate this condition? Better to have friends in the same condition?

You mean as in "misery loves company"? Who said anything about alleviating it?

I think one advantage of an over-55 community is that if the newspapers begin to pile up outside your door, no one assumes you spent the night at your SO's house or went skiing for the weekend. People are a lot less bashful about knocking on doors and checking up on each other.

 

[Brat]

After watching my and my parents aging it became evident that isolation from peers is a major issue. If they had moved to a 55+ community their friends in that community would have been accessible notwithstanding their inability to drive. Kids and grand-kids can't fill the empty hours unless they are in the same household.

 

[JOHNNIE36]

I live in a 55+ community, like it and have a few questions for all the attorney types out there. As I understand the concept, a 55+ community only means that a certain percentage of the residents must be 55 or older. For example, I must be 55 or more but my wife could be younger. Same for other households. This keeps the kids out. We have some younger residents that may have gained residency due to some circumstance (like inheriting a property) but overall in the community, a certain percentage of the population must be over 55. One of the salespeople mentioned some time ago that the drivers licenses of all the residents have to be checked every three or four years to show proof that this percentage is being maintained.
This may be for advertising purposes but there may be other things involved such as taxes. Anyone out there know the requirements? I know it will vary by state.

 

[Brat]

You really need to look at the CC&Rs of your development first.

 

[Walt34]

I suppose it depends on what you want. My mother moved to an efficiency apartment in a continuous care facility for the last 11 years of her life, and except for the last six months (declining health) she loved it. It usually took two or three days to reach her on the phone because she was always running around doing stuff.

She cried when the house she'd lived in for 30 years sold, but six months later she said "I wish I had done this ten years ago".

DW and I are still trying to talk her father into doing the same. He's very sociable but for some reason insists that he wants to stay in the house by himself that he cannot afford or maintain. Does he own the house or does the house own him? I think the latter, and I'm not going that route.

We have already decided that when I can't mow the lawn any more we're out of here and into a cc facility. All that mundane stuff of roofing, dishwasher repair and sidewalk sweeping is done for you. The housing runs the gamut from single family homes to apartments to, assisted living and if necessary, a nursing home. We wouldn't use many of the much-touted amenities so we see no reason to choose one that has a lot of stuff we wouldn't use.

 

[Brat]

The decimation of our IRAs has led us to considering a condo convenient to our kids in the "old neighborhood". We had planned on moving to a ccc in the area but the one we like is now beyond our budget.

 

[grumpy]

I live in a 55+ community, like it and have a few questions for all the attorney types out there. As I understand the concept, a 55+ community only means that a certain percentage of the residents must be 55 or older. For example, I must be 55 or more but my wife could be younger. Same for other households. This keeps the kids out. We have some younger residents that may have gained residency due to some circumstance (like inheriting a property) but overall in the community, a certain percentage of the population must be over 55. One of the salespeople mentioned some time ago that the drivers licenses of all the residents have to be checked every three or four years to show proof that this percentage is being maintained.
This may be for advertising purposes but there may be other things involved such as taxes. Anyone out there know the requirements? I know it will vary by state.

Johnnie,

I am not an attorney but I researched this recently. The requirement is from HUD. In order to remain a 55 and over community at least 80 percent of the homes must have one resident who is at least 55 years of age. The lower age limit for the other residents of the community is set by the community's governing documents. For example, here in our 55 or older community the CCR's limit anyone under 19 years of age to a maximum of 60 days of residence in a year. This allows for college kids to visit their folks during semester breaks but not to be full time residents. Our developer sold some homes to couples in their early 50's but stayed above the 80% level required by HUD.

Every two years the HOA requires owners to certify that one resident is at least 55 years of age. The HUD regulation requires the community to maintain records that document that we meet the age requirements.

Gumpy

 

[MovingtotheCove]

Whether it is activity or safety or companions or convenience we intend to look serioiusly at over 55 communities when we make a move. Both sets of our parents are well into their 80's and still in their own homes and each day that passes becoming more isolated. Isolated if they can't get to church for some reason. Isolated in the fact their mixed neighborhoods don't have more their age moving in but rather moving out. In both cases semi rural and a bit isolated from basic grocery shopping needs, etc. We appreciate being alone as well as being involved but the lack of respect shown in many cases by the younger generations toward people attempting to stay in their homes into their 80's and 90's that we've observed seems to be growing. I often wonder if my 88 year old father fell in his yard or drive if any younger neighbors would even notice? My bet is that it would be the 80 year old widow down the street that would notice and lend a hand? Sorry for the negative thoughts and generalizations regarding those in their 20's, 30's, and 40's but the "neighborhood" doesn't seem to have much a heart. That's why we've resolved not to become the only "old ones" left on our block but rather seek a community of active and older neighbors if possible.

 

[Moemg]

c. We appreciate being alone as well as being involved but the lack of respect shown in many cases by the younger generations toward people attempting to stay in their homes into their 80's and 90's that we've observed seems to be growing. I often wonder if my 88 year old father fell in his yard or drive if any younger neighbors would even notice? My bet is that it would be the 80 year old widow down the street that would notice and lend a hand? Sorry for the negative thoughts and generalizations regarding those in their 20's, 30's, and 40's but the "neighborhood" doesn't seem to have much a heart. That's why we've resolved not to become the only "old ones" left on our block but rather seek a community of active and older neighbors if possible.

I'm not sure it is lack of respect but more that the younger people are much busier with their lives . I do agree that in communities with older residents there is much more helping each other going on . I see this every day in Florida . Neighbors taking other neighbors for medical visits , groceries , church or lunch .

 

[JOHNNIE36]

grumpy, thanks for that answer. If I can find my documents I will review them today to see what is required for our community. You post clears up the basics.

 

[Brat]

I saw the same thing happen to our parents. When their children attempt to help with just the day to day it can be exausting meeting everyones needs.

 

[Billy]

Tangomonster

Does anyone live in one of these communities? How often do you participate in activities and use the amenities?

We live in an active adult community, not a continuous care facility. Sometimes we are gone for a year at a time but we love the fact that when we return, we have access to movies, the swimming pool, the computer room, workout room, social activities, the billiard hall and so on. We like having known our neighbors for the last 17 years.

Like Nords said, having everything available if we want it, and in walking distance. We don’t feel the push to join in everything and maintain friends elsewhere as well.
Martha

I think people are worried about being sick and vulnerable and alone.

Nords

I think one advantage of an over-55 community is that if the newspapers begin to pile up outside your door, no one assumes you spent the night at your SO's house or went skiing for the weekend. People are a lot less bashful about knocking on doors and checking up on each other.

I agree. When one of our neighbors is ill, we all seem to know about it soon enough, and people make food, get food, take them to the docs, and check up on them. We all know if someone is on vacation or if there is another reason for the papers beginning to pile up on the porch.

There are pros and cons to every living space choice. My BIL is a musician and wants to continue practice in his jazz band when he retires. This would absolutely NOT work in our retirement community.

OTOH, in Chapala, for instance, we have a sense of community and people check up on each other also. There are older singles who need attention and due to the tight knit feeling, people check in on them, get them food and so on, the same as the AAC I mentioned above.

Akaisha
Author, The Adventurer’s Guide to Early Retirement