I just got offered a job...

C

CindyBlue

Full time employment: Posting here.
Joined
Feb 28, 2017
Messages
807
...at the same or more money than I was making when I retired June 15. Arrrgggghhhh! Going through the OMY problem. My hubby retired when I did...do I work another year and leave him at home alone? (I worry about that - he's 9 years older than I am, and the type that needs something to do and that's one reason I retired with him, so we could do things together.) Two major household expenses came up this year (the well and the septic...ahhh, county life!) and while we can afford to pay for them (gulp!) another year of working would certainly help me feel better.
I never thought anyone would be asking me, especially at my age. I've never been "headhunted." It's very flattering :) But another year of working... And at a new place where I'd have to start over with a whole new group of people... And it would definitely be a more difficult situation...
I have about two weeks to decide, I think...
Sigh...
 
Your choice , DW will be retiring Tuesday . There comes a time when you begin a new chapter . The earlier you can do it the more fun and things you can build on . I don't know your age but your husband being older . Why not go have some fun ! The well and septic are a part of life and you know this . So you work another year and next year you decide a new roof or something else . Go Rock and Roll
 
nope. You already retired so presumably your finances are in order, which means, like most of us, they will outlive you.

Your husband is a decade older than you.

What would you be saying yes to other than the flattery? You haven't given a very good reason why you are considering it other than some unplanned expenses - welp... those always happen.
 
Ah, flattering the ego...

Last summer, in year 3 of my successfully planned and executed early retirement, an acquaintance asked me to join his private firm full time (it's in the area of technology transfer) with a very lucrative financial component. I was so flattered that I started considering it. Seriously considering it.

Then my wife said, "This is *not* why you retired, is it, never part of your plan, was it?"

I called him the next morning and said, "no thanks." Looking back I can see how the flattery and new set of challenges were juicing up my ego and that declining was the smartest thing I did all year! Bar none.

-BB
 
What changed my thought process around OMY syndrome is this: Your "expiry date" does NOT change. By denying yourself another year or two retirement you are cutting a year or two out of retirement. It seems to me people put blinders on about when they will be unable to enjoy their retirement anymore. "It's OK, I feel fine right now" is not the correct statement. The correct statement is: "We have enough. Thank God I feel fine right now". Screw it, as long as you have a contingency plan. "If it all goes to hell, I can sell my house" or some such plan. Do not shorten your retirement due to ego. Nobody wins except the company hiring you.
 
Montecfo said:
What does hubby think?
Click to expand...
He says it's my decision, and is being very helpful as I work through the conversations with the prospective employer and with reasons to work again, pro and con. I think he'd honestly prefer me not to take the job, though. But he will probably be working part time on an occasional basis starting September, and we don't know how often, maybe four or five times a month, then a two-three month full time (substituting for a friend who needs that time off.)
The commute will be bad, too...
So there are reasons not to take it, and only a few reasons to take it - the money, I like challenges, and I'm young enough to still work...sigh...
It's my upbringing, too...I hate to leave money on the table. What if something happens in the future when I'll really need money and because of my age and retirement status, can't get a job to earn it? How much will I regret the decision to not take this job then?
Anybody got a crystal ball?
 
justlikebike said:
What changed my thought process around OMY syndrome is this: Your "expiry date" does NOT change. By denying yourself another year or two retirement you are cutting a year or two out of retirement. It seems to me people put blinders on about when they will be unable to enjoy their retirement anymore. "It's OK, I feel fine right now" is not the correct statement. The correct statement is: "We have enough. Thank God I feel fine right now". Screw it, as long as you have an contingency plan. "If it all goes to hell, I can sell my house" or some such plan. Do not shorten your retirement due to ego. Nobody wins except the company hiring you.
Click to expand...

Good point about ego. I think a large part of my thinking is due to that, much as I hate to admit it. Thank you for pointing it out, I needed to hear it.
 
justlikebike said:
What changed my thought process around OMY syndrome is this: Your "expiry date" does NOT change. By denying yourself another year or two retirement you are cutting a year or two out of retirement. It seems to me people put blinders on about when they will be unable to enjoy their retirement anymore. "It's OK, I feel fine right now" is not the correct statement. The correct statement is: "We have enough. Thank God I feel fine right now". Screw it, as long as you have a contingency plan. "If it all goes to hell, I can sell my house" or some such plan. Do not shorten your retirement due to ego. Nobody wins except the company hiring you.
Click to expand...
I think this is true. Someone said this recently, I think here: you will never be healthier and more able to enjoy life than you are now.

When people asked why I retired I said basically what you said, justlikebike, every year of work is one less year of doing what I want. By definition.
 
Bryan Barnfellow said:
Ah, flattering the ego...

Looking back I can see how the flattery and new set of challenges were juicing up my ego and that declining was the smartest thing I did all year! Bar none.

-BB
Click to expand...

Yep, I think that this ego thing is a large part of my thought process...and I love a challenge and would love to sink my teeth into this. I'd be proving something to myself. But is that necessary?

I sure appreciate all the thoughtful responses from the folks here. I've been spinning my wheels around this for a couple of weeks, and need some advice badly at this point. Thank you!
 
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CindyBlue if your husband is like me, he wants it to be funny his wife's decision. Of course, it is not the same as saying he has no opinion. ;)

I have gotten inquiries recently from headhunters and it is flattering. But the idea of starting a new high stress job full-time...well...the vanity would wear off really quickly.
 
Breedlove said:
There comes a time when you begin a new chapter . The earlier you can do it the more fun and things you can build on . I don't know your age but your husband being older . Why not go have some fun ! The well and septic are a part of life and you know this . So you work another year and next year you decide a new roof or something else . Go Rock and Roll
Click to expand...


+1, my thoughts also. There will always be a reason why it would be nice to have a little more money, but every year you keep working is a year taken away from retirement and freedom. Especially with your husband 9 years older than you, I would stay retired and go have some fun..........
 
Roughly 2 weeks after I ER'd a headhunter called me with an opportunity that ordinarily I would have been excited about. My initial reaction was that same excitement, but then I remembered why I ER'd in the first place. Plus, I realized I wouldn't just be able to take the salary, they likely would expect me to w*rk for it :( That made the decision beyond-easy for me. If you chose to retire, and are financially secure, this job offer really should not affect that original decision. There's always more money available if one continues to w*rk than retire. At some point, recognize you earned this and enjoy the good life.
 
Montecfo said:
CindyBlue if your husband is like me, he wants it to be funny his wife's decision. Of course, it is not the same as saying he has no opinion. ;)
Click to expand...

This is it exactly! He wants and - needs! - it to be my decision as he will have to live with me no matter what happens, and if I'm having regrets and feeling bummed because I felt "forced" into a decision, then he's not happy, either. I am so lucky that he is my partner.
 
This is the part that would make me say "No!" And here I am, the one who was "headhunted" after retirement (it happens more than you think - we are valuable to employers) and worked part-time for five more years.

The carrot for me - besides the $$ - was that I got to do exactly what I liked most and was best at doing. Most of the difficult stuff was somebody else's worry. Frankly, if the offer had been to go back and do the job I'd been doing when I retired, my response would have been "[-]Hell no [/-]While not insensible of the honor being done to me, I must respectfully decline."

Also, while I like starting over with all new people, it sounds like that's not your cup of tea. One more reason to say No.

Good luck!

CindyBlue said:
.. And at a new place where I'd have to start over with a whole new group of people... And it would definitely be a more difficult situation...
..
Click to expand...
 
We ALWAYS leave money on the table when we choose to retire. Can't be any other way, since we would always earn more by working longer.

If the numbers work for anyone to voluntarily retire, then the idea of leaving money on the table shouldn't be a consideration.
 
Accidental Retiree said:
You stopped me in my tracks right there. No way.
Click to expand...

+1
You already decided it was the right time to retire.
Potentially you are at the healthiest point right now vs. the remainder of your life. Health issues can pop up in an instant.
 
I would respectfully submit that someplace, internally, you already know what your decision is (or should be) when you wrote the following: " Sigh..."

The sooner you say "NO" the better off you'll be.


:)
 
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^ yes it is! When I had second thoughts, I would think of my time, and my second thoughts went away pretty fast.
 
REWahoo said:
+1

Then the question becomes how much TIME do you want to leave on the table...
Click to expand...


+1000!

One's ego can get so wrapped up in work that it is easy to delay retirement. That was happening to me. I finally decided that while I had a good idea how much longer I could choose to work, I had no idea how much longer I might live. That is when time becomes more important than money.
 
There is not enough money to entice me back to working again. I enjoyed what I did for a living but I have a new chapter that gives me pleasure.



Cheers!
 
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