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View Poll Results: Do you mix your finances?
Not applicable (as I'm single and not involved with anyone) 12 7.36%
No (Finances 100% separate - Yours is yours, theirs is theirs) 12 7.36%
Kinda/Sorta (Finances mixed in some manner. Feel free to explain) 29 17.79%
Yes (Finances are 100% in "one shared pot") 110 67.48%
Voters: 163. You may not vote on this poll

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Old 04-22-2012, 06:31 AM   #21
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MichaelB
We shared our finances since day 1, back when we had nothing to share and barely enough for even one account. The only seperate bank accounts either of us had were payroll accounts or HSA.
From the very start, and the first nickel, too.
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Old 04-22-2012, 07:29 AM   #22
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We maintain a joint checking account for household expenses and seperate individual checking , savings , investment, 401k, IRA and Roth accounts however we jointly manage all but our individual checking accounts. This is due to it was most of the accounts we set up prior to us being a couple. When we married added tranfer on death to all acconts to each other. My job produces 65% of HH income so I contribute 65% of monthly household expenses and 65% of retirement savings. We both agree on what we should each save toward our retiement goals. So what ever is left after HH monthly expense contribution and retirement savings contribution stays in individual checking and then each can spend however they see fit. We see the whole pot of gold as a joint asset.
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Old 04-22-2012, 07:33 AM   #23
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It has never even occurred to me to do anything other than throw it all into one big pot...that is what marriage is supposed to be, right? Anything less always seemed to me to be planning for an eventual 'exit from the partnership'.
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Old 04-22-2012, 07:53 AM   #24
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It has never even occurred to me to do anything other than throw it all into one big pot...that is what marriage is supposed to be, right? Anything less always seemed to me to be planning for an eventual 'exit from the partnership'.
It is quite different when one remarries at a later age and there are children from previous marriages in the mix.
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Old 04-22-2012, 08:16 AM   #25
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It is quite different when one remarries at a later age and there are children from previous marriages in the mix.
Definitely, children do tend to complicate things, especially when each brings their own and maybe even throw in some shared ones....that can indeed make things more difficult...I wouldn't have any idea how to handle that fairly...guess I should change my answer to "In my situation, first marrige at a youngish age I never consider anything but....."
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Old 04-22-2012, 08:32 AM   #26
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We have a joint account where both of our salaries are deposited, but we each have separate accounts where our monthly 'allowances' are deposited via transfer from the joint account. The allowance can be spent on whatever we choose without consulting the other.
This has worked well for the last 25 years for us too. Once the IRAs are tapped those will go into the joint account along with SS and what little pension money we get. I'm more of a saver so my allowance has grown quite nicely so it will more than likely continue as a source of present money for my sweetie.

Cheers!
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Old 04-22-2012, 08:42 AM   #27
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Anything less always seemed to me to be planning for an eventual 'exit from the partnership'.
Not necessarily.

DW was a "stay at home" mom for the first six years of marriage, which means that I was responsible for all expenses in those early years. We had joint checking/savings accounts that paid those expenses that only I contributed to.

After DW started to w*rk, I continued to pay all expenses as in the past, with the exception of her "employment related expenses" (car, upkeep, clothing) with the assumption that if she ever decided to not be employed or lost her job, we could basically live on our (my) income alone.

Over the years, she has acquired her own bank accounts and CC's (along with her own 401(k)/IRA's) and has spent the majority of "her" money on her passion - travel. It has been (and remains, in retirement) the largest expense in our joint budget. Again, if she would decide no longer to travel (due to age, or infirmity), it would mean nothing to our basic expenses or standard of living (beyond travel), since I continue to cover "everything else".

You could say that we're still living (financially) in the 50's, but it works for us. BTW, it will be 43 years this September ; I don't think at this stage either of us are looking to exit this partnership...
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Old 04-22-2012, 08:57 AM   #28
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For a while early on we had two joint accounts, more for convenience than anything else but when "hers" began charging monthly fees she closed that one and we just used one account.

I have a small (five figures) IRA that can't be joint, but she's the beneficiary on. Not sure when we'll get into that pot. She has a thrift savings account with a lot more in it, handled the same way.

The retirement income and from my job go into the same joint and savings accounts.
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Old 04-22-2012, 09:06 AM   #29
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It is quite different when one remarries at a later age and there are children from previous marriages in the mix.
To a degree. But DW and I married when my son was 10 and we commingled our assets with no problem (except retirement accounts that must be separate). We did differentiate on how our estate would be divided up to provide extra support for our daughter once our son was thru college. Now we haven evened things out with a slight bump in DD's favor since DS has a lot more assets of his own.
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Old 04-22-2012, 09:14 AM   #30
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Way back in the 80's first wife and I had joint checking and she was in charge of paying bills. After her incompetence became apparent we moved to separate accounts and I took over paying the bills. First wife kept her own for her spending and she took responsibility to buy groceries. When she started running out of money and we were running out of food, I took over buying groceries, too.

After the divorce and the magical appearance of DW into my life, we have continued with a similar arrangement. We have a joint credit card account. She buys most groceries and I buy some but I pay all of the bills and manage the savings and cash flow for big ticket items. She has strong input into big ticket items.

Seems to work OK.

Life is good.
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Old 04-22-2012, 09:53 AM   #31
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I voted "kinda/sorta", but 90% (or more) of our finances are in joint accounts. Both of our pensions, SS benefits and IRA withdrawal go into the joint account. I have a small checking account for my personal allowance. He gets a rental check each month and that is his spending money (he's responsible or the prop taxes, ins and maintenance for the rental).

We have two credit cards for the monthly expenses. I have a separate cc for my personal spending (which I pay from my personal allowance) as does he.

The separate allowances and accounts pretty much eliminate the "you spent how much on WHAT?" arguments. I don't even want to know how much he spends on his money pit (er " hobby car") and he doesn't care to know if I've slipped the grandkids a $20.
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Old 04-22-2012, 11:43 AM   #32
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You forgot "What's mine is ours, what's hers is hers".

-ERD50
A fellow engineer who shared an office with me back in the '70s mentioned his DW just got a job and what she earned was hers and what he earned was theirs. At the time I was freshly married who was much younger and was still trainable. I stated in our household what I earned was mine and what she earned was ours. This upset my office mate greatly. He insisted that was not the way it was done. One day when DW came to visit me at the office for lunch, she was cornered and asked about the situation. He was definately disturbed when DW confirmed my story. What we didn't tell him was we were saving my income to finish building a house. Sometimes it is fun to play games with people. Times have now changed. Now everything is mixed with the execption of our IRAs.
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Old 04-22-2012, 12:17 PM   #33
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Everything is separate, checking and retirement. She owns the house, I owned the previous one. Only thing shared in our post tax brokerage account.
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Old 04-22-2012, 12:37 PM   #34
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To a degree. But DW and I married when my son was 10 and we commingled our assets with no problem (except retirement accounts that must be separate).........
In my case, her kid was 30 years old and my assets were about 500 times hers. It works for us. To each, their own solution.
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Old 04-22-2012, 01:46 PM   #35
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In my case, her kid was 30 years old and my assets were about 500 times hers. It works for us. To each, their own solution.
Does that mean you are a Sugar Daddy?
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Old 04-22-2012, 02:08 PM   #36
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Does that mean you are a Sugar Daddy?
Perhaps she was broke, and he had $500? In which case he'd be more of a saccharin daddy.
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Old 04-22-2012, 02:14 PM   #37
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Except for my IRA (with DH as beneficiary) everything is joint. He doesn't touch any of it (his choice) and trusts me with everything.
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Old 04-22-2012, 02:23 PM   #38
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Perhaps she was broke, and he had $500? In which case he'd be more of a saccharin daddy.
Dang! I was hopin' no one would catch the slight of hand.
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Old 04-22-2012, 03:22 PM   #39
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Geez, I remember the days when you had to show a marriage certificate to open a joint account.

Our finances have been 100% combined since day one.
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Old 04-22-2012, 11:10 PM   #40
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We live in a community property state, so anything earned while married is common... even IRAs, etc. can have a claim against them...

We both agreed that anything prior to marriage and all income from that is separate...


But as mentioned before.... my wife thinks what is mine is hers and what is hers is hers....
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