Poll:Do you intermingle your finances? How?

[Badger]

We have a joint account where both of our salaries are deposited, but we each have separate accounts where our monthly 'allowances' are deposited via transfer from the joint account. The allowance can be spent on whatever we choose without consulting the other.

This has worked well for the last 25 years for us too. Once the IRAs are tapped those will go into the joint account along with SS and what little pension money we get. I'm more of a saver so my allowance has grown quite nicely so it will more than likely continue as a source of present money for my sweetie.

Cheers!

 

[rescueme]

Anything less always seemed to me to be planning for an eventual 'exit from the partnership'.

Not necessarily.

DW was a "stay at home" mom for the first six years of marriage, which means that I was responsible for all expenses in those early years. We had joint checking/savings accounts that paid those expenses that only I contributed to.

After DW started to w*rk, I continued to pay all expenses as in the past, with the exception of her "employment related expenses" (car, upkeep, clothing) with the assumption that if she ever decided to not be employed or lost her job, we could basically live on our (my) income alone.

Over the years, she has acquired her own bank accounts and CC's (along with her own 401(k)/IRA's) and has spent the majority of "her" money on her passion - travel. It has been (and remains, in retirement) the largest expense in our joint budget. Again, if she would decide no longer to travel (due to age, or infirmity), it would mean nothing to our basic expenses or standard of living (beyond travel), since I continue to cover "everything else".

You could say that we're still living (financially) in the 50's, but it works for us. BTW, it will be 43 years this September ; I don't think at this stage either of us are looking to exit this partnership...

 

[Walt34]

For a while early on we had two joint accounts, more for convenience than anything else but when "hers" began charging monthly fees she closed that one and we just used one account.

I have a small (five figures) IRA that can't be joint, but she's the beneficiary on. Not sure when we'll get into that pot. She has a thrift savings account with a lot more in it, handled the same way.

The retirement income and from my job go into the same joint and savings accounts.

 

[donheff]

It is quite different when one remarries at a later age and there are children from previous marriages in the mix.

To a degree. But DW and I married when my son was 10 and we commingled our assets with no problem (except retirement accounts that must be separate). We did differentiate on how our estate would be divided up to provide extra support for our daughter once our son was thru college. Now we haven evened things out with a slight bump in DD's favor since DS has a lot more assets of his own.

 

[Brett_Cameron]

Way back in the 80's first wife and I had joint checking and she was in charge of paying bills. After her incompetence became apparent we moved to separate accounts and I took over paying the bills. First wife kept her own for her spending and she took responsibility to buy groceries. When she started running out of money and we were running out of food, I took over buying groceries, too.

After the divorce and the magical appearance of DW into my life, we have continued with a similar arrangement. We have a joint credit card account. She buys most groceries and I buy some but I pay all of the bills and manage the savings and cash flow for big ticket items. She has strong input into big ticket items.

Seems to work OK.

Life is good.

 

[dmdunca44]

I voted "kinda/sorta", but 90% (or more) of our finances are in joint accounts. Both of our pensions, SS benefits and IRA withdrawal go into the joint account. I have a small checking account for my personal allowance. He gets a rental check each month and that is his spending money (he's responsible or the prop taxes, ins and maintenance for the rental).

We have two credit cards for the monthly expenses. I have a separate cc for my personal spending (which I pay from my personal allowance) as does he.

The separate allowances and accounts pretty much eliminate the "you spent how much on WHAT?" arguments. I don't even want to know how much he spends on his money pit (er " hobby car") and he doesn't care to know if I've slipped the grandkids a $20.

 

[packrat44]

You forgot "What's mine is ours, what's hers is hers".

-ERD50

A fellow engineer who shared an office with me back in the '70s mentioned his DW just got a job and what she earned was hers and what he earned was theirs. At the time I was freshly married who was much younger and was still trainable. I stated in our household what I earned was mine and what she earned was ours. This upset my office mate greatly. He insisted that was not the way it was done. One day when DW came to visit me at the office for lunch, she was cornered and asked about the situation. He was definately disturbed when DW confirmed my story. What we didn't tell him was we were saving my income to finish building a house. Sometimes it is fun to play games with people. Times have now changed. Now everything is mixed with the execption of our IRAs.

 

[bssc]

Everything is separate, checking and retirement. She owns the house, I owned the previous one. Only thing shared in our post tax brokerage account.

 

[travelover]

To a degree. But DW and I married when my son was 10 and we commingled our assets with no problem (except retirement accounts that must be separate).........

In my case, her kid was 30 years old and my assets were about 500 times hers. It works for us. To each, their own solution.

 

[packrat44]

In my case, her kid was 30 years old and my assets were about 500 times hers. It works for us. To each, their own solution.

Does that mean you are a Sugar Daddy?

 

[Keim]

Does that mean you are a Sugar Daddy?

Perhaps she was broke, and he had $500? In which case he'd be more of a saccharin daddy.

 

[Sue J]

Except for my IRA (with DH as beneficiary) everything is joint. He doesn't touch any of it (his choice) and trusts me with everything.

 

[travelover]

Perhaps she was broke, and he had $500? In which case he'd be more of a saccharin daddy.

Dang! I was hopin' no one would catch the slight of hand.

 

[misty57]

Geez, I remember the days when you had to show a marriage certificate to open a joint account.

Our finances have been 100% combined since day one.

 

[Texas Proud]

We live in a community property state, so anything earned while married is common... even IRAs, etc. can have a claim against them...

We both agreed that anything prior to marriage and all income from that is separate...


But as mentioned before.... my wife thinks what is mine is hers and what is hers is hers....

 

[Cato]

We live in a communal property country, so everything belongs to both of us, we have a joint and separate accounts.

I have children from a previous marriage, which may complicate things in the future.

We have been married for >30 years and I have never had any reason not to trust her. However, I have pushed her to get her to get a credit card and HELOC in her own name - one never knows what might happen tomorrow and I know of instances where both credit cards were cancelled when the primary cardholder died.

 

[devans0]

We have joint accounts, a 'his' joint and a 'her' joint savings/checking and credit cards in two credit unions. We keep out of each other's accounts. Our work schedules are different, and keeping co-mingled money would be confusingly difficult when we don't see each other. I pay some bills and DW pays the others. Retirement is separate by law, but we are each other's beneficiaries. After nearly twenty years, why mess with what works.

 

[rodi]

We married later in life (late 30's for me, late 40's for him.) We both had houses in our own names. We kept separate accounts for the early years. In fact I charged him rent. But he got to keep the rent he was getting on his house. I did add him to my primary checking/savings, and he added me to his... but we used them separately.

Later we changed states. By that time we felt comfortable enough to comingle. So we opened joint accounts here. When we bought our house - it's titled in both names.

IRA's and 401ks are separate. But we have each other listed as beneficiaries.
I inherited an IRA and a taxable brokerage account. I keep those in my name. But we treat them as joint funds. We're not pulling from them (that's a big chunk of our retirement nest egg and emergency fund). Since they've never been comingled, I'm pretty sure they'd remain mine in the case of divorce. No plans for divorce, though... LOL. We used much of my taxable inherited money to pay for construction on our jointly owned property... so it's shared.

Mortgage is in my name. That's because we refi'd right as my husband's previous firm was imploding... seemed safer. Mortgage payments are paid from the joint account.

Basically - day to day funding is in common accounts. Retirement and inheritance is in separate accounts. But treated as joint for all practical purposes.

Don't remember if the kids 529's are in my name or both... I think he's the next in line if I die, with the kids as beneficiaries. (They don't own the accounts.)

 

[Blackwoodt]

We got married 32 years ago, did anyone have separate accounts back then when dinosaurs walked the earth?

I've been living with, or married to my husband for over 25 years. We have always had separate accounts. We were both married before, and had bad experiences. No money fights, ever.

 

[davemartin88]

We shared our finances since day 1, back when we had nothing to share and barely enough for even one account. The only seperate bank accounts either of us had were payroll accounts or HSA.

Same for us. In recent years, we've opened a small savings account/debit for my wife that she uses for gifts and other items. Since I do most of the financials and download credit card information regularly, she was tired of me seeing birthday and Christmas purchases in near real time. Our perspective is that regardless of how the money was earned, once it was paid, it belonged to both of us, has worked for 35 years!

 

[ChadR]

I like this post on the subject.

Relationships and Money: Are You Communist, Socialist, or Capitalist? » My Money Blog

I'm a capitalist... However, living in a community property state with no prenup I know legally it isn't the case. Also, if we have kids something will have to change.

For a fairly decent chunk of time our net worth was similar. Now mine is ~ twice DWs which can be a concern at times. While DW and I are pretty compatible $$ wise we don't see eye to eye on early retirement so separate finances is one tool in my mind that would allow me to retire earlier than her with no hard feelings.

 

[gauss]

We have joint accounts, a 'his' joint and a 'her' joint savings/checking and credit cards in two credit unions. We keep out of each other's accounts. Our work schedules are different, and keeping co-mingled money would be confusingly difficult when we don't see each other. I pay some bills and DW pays the others. Retirement is separate by law, but we are each other's beneficiaries. After nearly twenty years, why mess with what works.

+1

• 2 similar paychecks that go to 2 separate checking accounts (although jointly owned)
• Bills split equitably between the two of us.
• Both contributing similar (large) amounts to our retirement accounts
• Both buy into LBYM

 

[sheehs1]

We don't have one account that is joint. We have a blended family, married 19 years. I had a daughter who he adopted and he had two sons that lived with their mom but spent a great deal of time with us as well. Otherwise no biologically joint children. We don't use the word "step" as in step son in our house. We also have a post nup. We share the expenses of the house without a lot of hoopla. Expenses of the children thru the years fell down the line....meaning I paid expenses for my daughter and he paid expenses for his sons. Blending the finances based on a previous divorce was just not something I was comfortable with. Inherited or accumulated assets prior to marriage were not co-mingled although the house might fall a different way if push ever came to shove. I owned the house we live in prior to marriage. He owns his business property. Etc.etc. I have insurance to protect him and vice versa if one of us passes away. Works for us. Blended families require a different way of dealing with ones assets.

 

[Helen]

We've been together for more than 24 years, but we are gay and can not marry. We both have checking, savings and brokerage accounts that are joint. We also have wills and power of attorney but it is not the same as being married.

Just tonite we were talking about buying a tax exempt bond fund and would qualify for Vanguard's admiral shares if we pooled the money into one account. The problem is the IRS considers us moving money between our accounts to be 'gifting' to each other if it is over $13k per year.

So, I guess the answer for me is that we intermingle our finances as much as we are allowed to.

 

[obgyn65]

I have never shared any account or property with any past girlfriend.