Yet another thing I dislike about being employed

[DangerMouse]

What is it with companies these days where they want all their employees to participate in company "social" events. For example I did not go to the office Christmas party. I had no desire to spend obscene amounts of money for the right dress and shoes and spend excruciatingly boring hours with people who are nothing more than colleagues. Everyone treated me like I was a freak because I did not want to go. The number one comment from most was it was a free dinner so why wouldn't I go. ARe people so hard up that they will do anything for a free meal?

It seems like every month there is an event that I am made to be the spoilsport because I don't want to spend time with these people. I go to work to work, not to make new friends and I resent being made to feel like the bad guy because I don't want to spend my free time with these people.

 

[youbet]

Why submit yourself to situations you don't like? You're only an employee there because you told them you want to be. You have alternatives. Your own business. Another job. Whatever.

 

[Nords]

You see high-stress socializing as a PITA.

Others see it as a chance to make the boss more familiar with their personality, skills, extracurricular accomplishments, future potential, and networking abilities. It's a different sort of a sales call.

I always found it more enjoyable to take the inport duty (for extra watchbill bonus points) than to go to an affair like that...

 

[skyline]

While I do enjoy casual gatherings with co-workers like happy hour or catching a ballgame, I find the more formal, forced social work events to be darn annoying. I always do my best to stay away, but sooner or later, you get enough 'Hey, you gonna make it this year?' comments that it's easier just to go than to come up with another excuse.

I make up little games to keep myself entertained - try keeping track of the top 5 brown-nosers to see which one is engaging in the most glaring a**kissing that night. Or find the guy that looks the most uncomfortable at a work event with his entire reporting structure drunk...

Regarding the 'right dress and shoes', as a guy I don't quite have that problem - but I always make a point to dress down as much as possible - my subtle (or not so subtle) statement to the man.

 

[Goonie]

I occasionally went ot the annual "holiday" party....sat with my co-w*rkers and veered away from the bosses! The joint they held them at always has good food. I'd socialize with my friends, eat dinner...then head for the door!!!

Other than that...I didn't do social events for w*rk! Heck, I didn't even attend my own retirement party!!! So they had to cancel it just prior to it's posted start time!

 

[SteveR]

... but I always make a point to dress down as much as possible - my subtle (or not so subtle) statement to the man.

Dressing too well or too poorly can both work against you. The best approach is to dress appropriately and be clean and tidy. Going to a w*rk function in a $1000 suit when you have a $80k/year job sends a strong signal as does wearing a $50 JC Penny special. Dressing down too much makes it look like you can't manage money...dressing too high on the hogs says you must be dealing drugs on the side. Neither message will make a good impression on management. Shoes shined and actually match what you are wearing...no brown shoes with blue suit..not pink socks.. no sandles with a suit...ties conservative but also up to date...the 8 inch wide ties with fish hanging down below your belt would be a No No.

Same goes for the ladies. Too many large shiney rocks on our hands and around your neck makes folks wonder how you got the money to pay for them; you don't want to know how they think you may have "earned" the jewlery.

Don't stand out too much but dress for success. Clean clothes, no hole, no stains (check your tie!), dresses the correct length, not too much cleavage (keep them guessing). Oh, and unless you work on a loading dock or an assemble line, keep the tatoos underwraps. As fashionable as they seem to be today, most management folks are still pretty conservative (at least in larger public companies) and "public" tatoos give a negative impression.

Some managers need these parties to see how you will act in public when there is alcohol involved. Don't ever ever get drunk at a company event....career suicide. Even a couple of glasses of wine can make you less "one your toes" and things can slip out that should be kept to yourself...especially true with a spouse who may not know the lady she is unloading about your boss to is your bosses Admin.

Also, some employees use these gatherings to get closer to management in an effort to impress them. This can be their only exposure to these people due to the reporting structure or even physical distances between them. Like Nords said, you are selling your self to managment so they know your name and so they see you as more than just a spot on the Organizational Chart. Sometimes that works both ways.

 

[Gumby]

We have our holiday party in a large hotel ballroom. I walk in one door and circle the room shaking hands with people. When I get to the other door, I leave. It takes about half an hour. Most people will remember that I said hello and shook their hand. No one will remember when I left.

 

[Texas Proud]

The number one comment from most was it was a free dinner so why wouldn't I go. ARe people so hard up that they will do anything for a free meal?

Uhhh.... yea!!!


Well, not quite anything.... anyhow, I don't much mind the people I work with... we all go out to lunch almost every day (different people in and out according to schedules)... we also make sure they are 'business casual' so you don't have to get a dress etc... Just show up and enjoy what you wish to enjoy and leave when you want... We have some who only come for the meal and then leave... great... but, the company will only 'pay' for 85% of the employess as they know everybody doesn't come... but we usually have more than that so we adjust..

 

[justin]

I kind of enjoy the annual christmas party-type affairs. Good chance to get to know my coworkers (most of whom are cool, down to earth folks). Good, free food and drinks. I also enjoy my DW's xmas party - but she also has the cool, down to earth coworkers, too (or at least that's who we sit with each year and hang out with occasionally throughout the year at non-work cookouts and parties).

I was bummed this year when my company had assigned seating. Getting stuck with the wrong folks (read bosses or uptight folks) can suck big time when you're there for hours!

Best line ever at company xmas party - 8 months after I started working, the Vice Pres of the company shakes my hand at the end of the night and says "It was nice to meet you" to me. We worked together on projects all the time prior to that, but he must have been drunk off his a$$ and had a tongue-slip. That was the last year of open bar and now we have 2 drink limits!

 

[Fireup2020]

BF's company had an awesome holiday party this year (early in Jan) to celebrate the company's success in 2006. Hi co-workers are an amazingly fun group - and the positive energy in the company is amazing. All the guests had to pay for was the hotel room...drinks, dinner, and breakfast all on the company along with a magician who was amazingly good!

On the flip side, attending a State Employees Christmas party at $65/head holds NO interest....but I try not to miss the Navy Birthday Ball in AC in Oct!!

Guess it all depends on the individuals that are part of each attending crowd.

 

[Sarah in SC]

Ah, thank goodness our only company event is one with clients, coming up on Thursday night. We'll have about 100 clients, good food, and don't have to do much but smile and ask how they are enjoying being in Charleston. It is pretty low stress overall.

DH's party is held at the boss' house, then to a fancy restaurant for dinner, then a club the boss owns. Lots of trashy Myrtle Beach office girls with huge hair, huge t*ts, and huge beer buzzes, all dirty dancing late night to funky hip-hop music. I look like Aunt Mable by comparison, I wore my interview suit with a nice silk scarf last year! The cleavage is mighty impressive, or so DH says! He works in pretty blue-collar industry and it just serves to remind him of that. But the boss' house is impressive, like if Elvis lived at Myrtle Beach. Motorized curtains, a fountain in the pool, giant tvs in every room, etc. No books on the bookshelves, either.

Sarah

 

[justin]

Hi co-workers are an amazingly fun group...

I'll have to agree with that! Way way better than drunk coworkers.

 

[Sarah in SC]

I'll have to agree with that! Way way better than drunk coworkers.

But don't let them get in front of you at the buffett.....

 

[Fireup2020]

Glad my typo worked for you! (his, not hi) lol

Was still a great party with great company. Thank heavens I have not had to deal with sucking up to a boss! Then I'd avoid those types of things!

 

[DangerMouse]

Truthfully I am not even interested in the more casual social events such as the ball games. Don't get me wrong, 99% of the people I work with are nice people, however I have nothing in common with them and have no interest in spending my free time with them. I guess I am a very straight forward person and believe that life is too short to spend it playing games.

 

[Khan]

For years I made the effort to socialize occasionally; the last three or so years at work, I gave up trying as I realized I didn't really like those people all that much and it was stressful enough being around them at work.

Since retiring I have been to two events: my retirement luncheon and last Dec a retirement luncheon for some other folks.

I didn't remember most of their names.

I can't even remember the office symbol or the software system.

I haven't been back to the workplace; my car sticker has expired.

I've never felt better.

 

[LKH]

I hate these forced social occasions also. HATE them. I actually like most of my coworkers, and I can see myself being friends with them when I retire, just as I still get with some of the people who I worked with, who have gone on to greener pastures. But I spend enough time with them in the office. I consider my free time to be MY time, and I will not spend MY time schmoozing with people I see every day, when I can spend it with family and friends I only get to see every week or so.

So I know how you feel. Fortunately, my office is notoriously "antisocial" anyway, so we don't have many off-hours shindigs, and when we do, nobody cares much whether you come or not. Of course, we just got a new boss, and she might be more into that stuff. Hope not. We shall see.

L

 

[youbet]

I guess I am a very straight forward person and believe that life is too short to spend it playing games.

Be your own person. Don't spend your life participating in activities which, to you, seem to be games. I doubt you'll ever regret being true to yourself.

 

[skyline]

...ties conservative but also up to date...the 8 inch wide ties with fish hanging down below your belt would be a No No.

Tie??

It's been a while since I've seen one of those...

Look, don't get me wrong, your points are generally valid, and most people would do well to follow your advise as a rule of thumb. My experience, however, has been that you can make a much stronger impression on a boss (or the bosses boss) by doing a great job at work. They're not likely to care about how you look when you're solving their problems for them...

Of course, ideally you're doing both...