VanWinkle
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
KG, you're quite young to have these thoughts as much as you describe. Especially the use of "black and dark space", and "often".
Oh and for the smoker(s), the CDC says subtract 10 years unless you quit by 40, in which case you're probably back to 100%. I'm sure there's a sliding scale for quitting later, you can google that easily enough.
We all know smoking is not good for longevity, but the oldest person documented was 122 when she died and smoked until she was 117. Even common knowledge is sometimes debunked by circumstances. Of course maybe she would have lived to 132 had she not smoked.