Poll: Will You Carry Secrets to the Grave?

[easysurfer]

A friend of mine is not doing well. I was talking to her daughter yesterday, she she mentioned some things which my friend never told me. Not that I mind, but I would have never known.

It got me wondering. Do we all carry secrets to the grave and why?

 

[REWahoo]

Do we all carry secrets to the grave and why?

Other: Yes, because they are NYDB.

 

[easysurfer]

I should have made this poll a multiple option as for me, it's options 5 and 6.

 

[MichaelB]

Other: Yes, because they are NYDB.

Makes two of us

 

[frayne]

Other: Yes, because they are NYDB.

+2

 

[W2R]

Other. Yes, because I am too old to remember all that stuff any more...

 

[youbet]

Other. Yes, because I am too old to remember all that stuff any more...

+1

You betcha. If I sat down with someone to reveal all the deep, dark secrets of my past, the versions that I'd remember would no doubt be very different from the versions I tucked away long ago!

 

[Amethyst]

Yes, of course I will. Certain facts do no one any good, and could do harm.

It is funny how things change, though. My parents kept it a secret that my father had been getting a divorce when they met. I finally figured it out when I was a teenager. When I asked my mother, she admitted the truth - at this point, the divorce was 40 years in the past!

Years later, after my father died, I told my older siblings he'd been married before, and they were amazed a) they'd never figured it out and b) my parents thought it was something to hide. But the only thing any of us cared about was whether we had half siblings, which we don't.

A.

 

[youbet]

the only thing any of us cared about was whether we had half siblings, which we don't.

Reminds me of a song the Kingston Trio did 50 - 60 years ago. A young man met a girl he wanted to marry and told his dad. Dad advised him he couldnt' marry her because "she's your sister but your mama don't know!" The young man met another girl, but again his dad told him he couldn't marry her because "she's your sister but your mama don't know." This happend again and again.

Finally, in desperation, the young man went to his mother and told her the situation. She said, "marry any one of them, your father ain't your father, but your father don't know!"

So, ya never know.........

 

[Nova]

Reminds me of a song the Kingston Trio did 50 - 60 years ago. A young man met a girl he wanted to marry and told his dad. Dad advised him he couldnt' marry her because "she's your sister but your mama don't know!" The young man met another girl, but again his dad told him he couldn't marry her because "she's your sister but your mama don't know." This happend again and again.

Finally, in desperation, the young man went to his mother and told her the situation. She said, "marry any one of them, your father ain't your father, but your father don't know!"

So, ya never know.........

Hadn't heard that one!

What's the point of a secret if it isn't a secret?! I've been told a family secret or two that I would rather have not known, especially since the subject of the secret was already dead. I see no point of speaking ill of the dead.

OTOH, I wouldn't want to marry my brother.

 

[easysurfer]

I think of the Bernie Madoff tragedy.

If the sons had kept the family secret to the grave, then we'd be saying "Bernie who?" and they'd still be printing out the phony investment statements.

Or the case of the unibomber. Had his brother carried his secret to his grave, the unibomber probably would never have gotten caught.

 

[Brat]

I have AB - blood type, DH O -. When our children were born almost 40 years ago they had just come out with a shot to protect a 2nd child conceived from blood type antibodies. I told my MD not to worry as DH also had a - blood type. He laughed and said that in obstetrics there is a saying that you always know a baby's mother but husband isn't necessarily the father. Every mom with a - blood type gets the shot.

 

[braumeister]

Unless someone convinces me they have a legitimate need to know where the bodies and/or the loot are buried ...

 

[Robert Colbert]

I don't believ in "secretes" People should not hide truth.

I know this may sound like a smart alec remark, but I have been troubled by the idea of privacy and secretes all my life. When I was young, I suffered for being too honest about my feelings. I was punished and told to be more "discrete". I soon leanrned that we cannot go through life sucessfully without keeping secretes. "Saving Face" and "Keeping up Image" are profoundly important in every social situation. Personally, I am against this custom. If everyone were allowed to tell the truth all the time, we would live in a much more honest world and people would not be so shocked and injured by reality.

 

[Nords]

It got me wondering. Do we all carry secrets to the grave and why?

Submariners on "special missions" had to sign a stack of paperwork vowing never to discuss what it was or where they were that they may or may not have done something to somebody.

Why, we had this one mission where they actually... oh, wait... um, never mind.

 

[Tiger]

Tell one person a secret and it's no longer a secret. I ain't talking.

 

[Khan]

Don't even understand the question.

 

[Sandhog]

I don't know any secrets to take with me to my grave. My life is pretty much mundane. I don't really care to know about others secrets either unless it's secret to FI in a year or less legally without working 24/7/365(6)

 

[Nuiloa]

. If everyone were allowed to tell the truth all the time, we would live in a much more honest world and people would not be so shocked and injured by reality.

Not to mention that there would be a lot fewer people - what with all of the really honest ones having been shot.

Sometimes, NOT telling secrets and/or the truth is the only way to survive in this world.

 

[JmfromTx]

I was worried for a second but since this is about other peoples deep dark secrets and I don't know any I can go out with a clean slate.

 

[Khan]

 

[grasshopper]

I tell them all here

 

[mountaintosea]

Not sure I really have any, at least of consequence.

 

[obgyn65]

I answered "Other". From a personal standpoint, I will go the grave with a pretty clean slate. However, from a professional standpoint, there are things that some patients have told me that no one will ever know.

 

[Koolau]

While my mom and dad were still "with it", my dad thought my mom should reveal to us kids that she had been married/divorced before meeting dad. I would just as soon not know, though it has not been a problem to me.

My dad left a hand-written biography with my mom. She had left a note with it to "burn upon my death". I have not been able to read all the way through it yet. It reveals the life of a young, disabled man in the depths of the depression (and a lot more). In many ways, my dad was a very kind and generous man. But, to survive, he lived a life style that no one would envy and many would not survive. He saw things that chill my soul, e.g.., his brother was murdered and no one was punished. Picture the Harlan Co. of "Justified" and you get a good idea of how my dad had to live - but throw in the depression on top of that. How he became the "pillar" I knew is no less than a miracle.

So I see no problem with taking some secrets to the grave as long as doing so gives less pain than being open and honest. YMMV