ok....here's some more info. I got the dog as a puppie while wife and I were separated 5 yrs ago. we had been together for 4 years prior. she was gone 6-8 months, and moved in at about 1 yr. The dog had been around almost a year when she moved in. Advantage - DOG! lol
Anyhow, the post reads like we really neglect her, which we dont. She gets petted daily and i horse around with her and my son (3) in the play room a few times/week. She runs around the house for 1/2 hr a day chasing our 2 indoor/outdoor cats....they all sleep together at night. The cats havent come up in this argument because they are so carefree and i bought them for her (twins) for her birthday 5 yrs ago.
My wife and I talked this through for about 5 hrs in the last few days, and here's the outcome:
We will be keeping the dog. I will be brushing her at least 3x/week. I will be taking her to the groomer about once every month. wife will feed and let out dog when im not around. we all will try to make more 'dog' time. i will be installing an invisible fence. right now, she stays in our yard (flanked by 400 acres of farmland) 90% of the time. The other 10% she chases our cat, loses her focus, and finds some nice horse crap to roll in...our yard is cleaned often of dog poo.
That's about it. she wanted to shave her but i heard shaving is not the best idea for a shepherd, so we settled on grooming and lots of brushing to keep the hair down
re: my relationship and communication....we actually communicated better last night than we have in years...we got some other issues worked out too...so that helped. we do not show or reflect tension whatsoever in front of the kids...not a bit....sure they can sense it, but its normal for there to be rough patches....not rosey 100% of the time
re:my schedule. i am aware that i am a very selfish person and my priorities are skewed at times. i am working at becoming a better, more well-centered person on a daily basis, through reading,self exploration, etc. im getting there, but have a long way to go. im pretty rough around the edges, but i know it and am working on it. i dont see that 15 more minutes out of my day to give her some attention will kill me. i believe it can be a good time for the kids as well.
im sure i missed a few points/questions...but that should about cover it.
thanks for all the input as always