A Father's Love

His kids are in their late 30's, one is 40. Isn't he a bit late?
 
My kids are still in school... so there's time for me to get his state of mind.

My dad, under similar circumstances, would have written a similar letter. (And did... to a sibling.)
 
Maybe he bears some responsibility for bringing up three kids with such poor values.
 
The letter was written by a retired nuclear submarine captain. Hmmm, aren't there a bunch if retired submariners here? I'm not saying a word more 'bout this.
 
MichaelB said:
His kids are in their late 30's, one is 40. Isn't he a bit late?
Click to expand...


Sounds to me like he is telling them to stop whining to their mother for their bad decisions....

It is not always the parents fault their kids make bad or stupid decisions.... everybody has their own personalities.... not all driven by how they were brought up....
 
So everyone else is expected to live their lives according to his wishes? What a douchebag.
 
Texas Proud said:
MichaelB said:
His kids are in their late 30's, one is 40. Isn't he a bit late?
Click to expand...


Sounds to me like he is telling them to stop whining to their mother for their bad decisions....

It is not always the parents fault their kids make bad or stupid decisions.... everybody has their own personalities.... not all driven by how they were brought up....
Click to expand...
My only point was that if the children were not making good choices that would have been evident much earlier. With stories like this we know only what we read in the media (very little and one-dimensional), and then leap to judge.

Welcome to another episode of "Trial by Media"
 
From a story linked to the article, the 40 year old daughter defends him and says it was the kick up the backside she needed (love those Brits).

I can read between the lines in his email that the mom was no doubt distraught after a gathering and the email was dad's solution. As if the 35+ y/o kids are living their lives to either hurt or bless the folks so they can brag about them to their friends (get over it, mom and dad). Wonder which kid passed it on and to whom (no doubt one of the copulating partners dad refers to) so it went viral. I see a movie based on these parents and their slacker kids.
 
Texas Proud said:
Sounds to me like he is telling them to stop whining to their mother for their bad decisions....

It is not always the parents fault their kids make bad or stupid decisions.... everybody has their own personalities.... not all driven by how they were brought up....
Click to expand...

Agreed. The same home can raise vastly different children. There's an element of nature that's sometimes nuture cannot cancel.
 
A totally self indulgent idiot, who did not deserve to have children.

I write my kids letters to tell them how proud I am of them, and how much I appreciate being their father. I think this would be true even if they were not as successful as they are, and not as unfailingly considerate of their parents. Grown children prove that a chain of good things happened. Plenty of opportunities to get snuffed before adulthood.

And blaming them for divorces is idiotic. He just shot himself in the foot. Being critical of adult children is like telling a woman you are dating that she should change her lipstick shade. It can't help, and it will very likely hurt. Adults are not compelled to like you, just because you are their father or mother.

Ha
 
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I do not have problems like the writer of the article has. No would I write something like that. But I do understand to some extent. Children and Adult children will do what they will in spite of how they were raised or taught. Often their children will suffer and its left up to the Grandparents to deal with it.
 
Bestwifeever said:
From a story linked to the article, the 40 year old daughter defends him and says it was the kick up the backside she needed (love those Brits).

I can read between the lines in his email that the mom was no doubt distraught after a gathering and the email was dad's solution. As if the 35+ y/o kids are living their lives to either hurt or bless the folks so they can brag about them to their friends (get over it, mom and dad). Wonder which kid passed it on and to whom (no doubt one of the copulating partners dad refers to) so it went viral. I see a movie based on these parents and their slacker kids.
Click to expand...

This was my thought too - the mom was upset over the kids latest problems.

Having had a sibling who kept coming back for emergency bailouts (financial) well into his forties... But never took responsibility for the messes he got in... I get where a parent can say "enough".

I didn't agree with my dad's handling of things - but I understood how he got there.
 
Free To Canoe said:
An old patriarch unites for his birthday all members of his family. But the group of people is full of personal and social problems. There was a Twilight Zone episode like this. It ended badly for the children.
Click to expand...

Was this the one with the masks?
 
Free To Canoe said:
An old patriarch unites for his birthday all members of his family. But the group of people is full of personal and social problems. There was a Twilight Zone episode like this. It ended badly for the children.
Click to expand...
One of the greatest films every made with this theme is The Sea.

The Sea (2002) - IMDb

Ha
 
Some tough comments here without really knowing what his children have done or what types of issues are affecting the grandchildren.

Easy for me to say, since I have no kids. But I have seen many people make poor decisions for sure.
 
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I liked the term "copulation driven".

When Nick wrote that he + DW hear about happy and successful life stories about their friends' kids, does he realize that these stories might not give the full picture but are made up?

He did not mention that the kids are moochers. So they are able to live on their income.
Does he really have an objective view on their professional life? "Success" or not is highly subjective. What are the facts here?
He may have expected "more", but that does not make the kids failures.
What would be a success or achievement in his eyes?

Overall, I am torn:
The kids might be struggling in professions out of Nick's field of experience.
In most marriage problems, the responsibility is on both sides IMO.
 
"...each of you has contrived to avoid even moderate achievement". (Sound of a whiplash).
 
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