Families...and inheritance

[Earlygirl]

Condolences on the loss of your mother.
IMHO, your sister should buy you out of the house. Unless you want to give it to her. Before you give it to her, ask yourself how you will feel when she turns around and sells it in a year or two, realizing that her dream of a bi-coastal life is impractical.
If she takes over the house, whether she buys you out or you give it to her, you should not participate with any of the expenses of keeping it up. If she can't afford those, then she can't afford it, period.
After the death of a loved one people's minds are muddled. It is hard to make good decisions. I've witnessed this is both mine and my husband's family. Therefore, I think it is ok if you let the house sit there for a few months. Maybe heads will clear. I believe that a specific will is extremely important. We have told our executor to sell real estate and split it evenly. If someone wants a house or piece of land they need to buy it from the estate at appraised value. Luckily we have lived in and sold several homes. I don't think any of ours have sentimental value attached.

 

[albireo13]

I lost my Dad to Covid last May. My Mom was in the hospital and never
got to see him near the end. Very sad. Then with the Covid lockdown,
she languished at her retirement home mostly alone.
She passed away in October.
I did manage to visit her as much as was allowed.
Still, it was very tough. Managing their estate has been easy in comparison.

I think I am dealing with a touch of PTSD from it all.

 

[kingkarmann]

I’m very sorry for your loss.
Do you and your sister have anyone that could be a caretaker until the issue is settled?

 

[steveark]

I'd just get rid of it, sell it. When my parents died my brother and I split everything down the middle. About a million each. We sold or donated possessions, there was no property. We split a large amount of jewelry by picking one piece each in turns. He gave me the guns, which were valuable, because he's not a gun guy and I am. We both retired shortly after.

 

[cbbennet]

My experience

My sister and I jointly inherited land from our mother in 1968 and DS didn't want to sell (they are not making anymore land). Neither of us would EVER live on the property or needed the money so we kept it - with me doing the taxes, rental, forestry/logging, etc. After our DF passed away we jointly inherited his house and some funds. Again we just kept it with me doing the renting out of the house and dispersing the funds.

Apparently I'm not real bright and don't recognize a pattern! But I didn't want my children to inherit this mess so I had the property divided into lots and had everything appraised by an appraiser chosen by my sister from a list of 3 I provided. She was welcome to choose another appraiser if she wanted. I then divided up the property and funds to make them equal and told her to choose. (Our father taught us that as children - I'll cut the sandwich in half but you get to choose which half you want first - keeps everyone honest). She made her choice and it miraculously worked out well. I must stress we were/are on good terms. If there was discord I bet lawyers would have been involved.

I hope something similar can happen for OP.

 

[Doribe]

I’m so sorry for your loss. This virus is just terrible.
Obviously, the home will become a burden if neither of you live nearby. Your sister may just need some time. It probably won’t need to be a full year, but just a month or two for reality to hit. It will take some time to settle the estate. Use it to prepare the home for sale or possibly rental if she insists on keeping it. You’ll have a better grasp of all the financial aspects by then too, that may change her mind.

+1

 

[troutnut1]

You might check with the taxing authorities and make sure the death won’t trigger a re-assessment and higher tax bills. This is particularly true in California, due to some recent law changes, but may affect other states as well. In Montana for instance many people are on low income or veteran assistance that subsequent owners may not be entitled to. Sometimes (such as California) it may be necessary to complete forms to avoid problems.

I am sure sorry for your loss. My sister and I are worried about this with our 87 year old mom who just got her first covid shot today.

 

[Music Lover]

If it wasn't a house and instead was a lump sum the money would be split evenly and there wouldn't be an issue at all.

Sell the house and split the proceeds, or have her buy you out.

 

[eleighj416]

I understand exactly what you are going through. My mother passed away last summer and my sister and I are joint independent executors each owning 50% of my mother's estate. The financial settlement i.e. stocks, cash, royalties etc. went off without a hitch considering my sister's fears that someone was going to get more than her. The house is a different animal. We have offered to buy her out at market value for her 1/2, she is afraid that my wife and I would fix it up and sell it for more. Well yeah, but she does not want to understand repairs and upgrades to a 60 year old house and the time value of money ie the cost to own it for 10 years plus. So at this time we are going to jointly repair it with available funds from the estate and sell it subject to the usually closing costs.

FYI this is my 4th estate to be an executor, hopefully my last.

 

[MrsHaloFIRE]

Having worked in a house left to sit following a death i wish to point out that every scrap of food, dry goods and cans need to be trashed ASAP. And the first thing that will probably happen is water intrusion or leak. Lots to look forward to. Agree if sister "needs" it let her buy you out of it. Appraise it and let the value count as a portion or her total share assuming yall are splitting everuthing in some manner. She can deal with the taxes, yard, upkeep and clean out.