Spouse and I consult this board's wisdom on just about every important decision, but I'm glad we didn't do that this time!What this thread needs is a poll - can you add one after you start the thread?
Spouse and I consult this board's wisdom on just about every important decision, but I'm glad we didn't do that this time!What this thread needs is a poll - can you add one after you start the thread?
Somehow, I knew this would turn out to be a dogpile.
No, there is not a partnership (ie. marriage). They are linked by the kids, but they are not linked by law. There is an agreement, whereby she stays at home to raise the kids and he works and provides shelter and food. They are not married; his money is his, and hers is hers. They just share all the expenses in their own way. She is staying at home and he is paying the bills. How is he not upholding his end of the bargain? Because he posts on a message board that his girlfriend doesnt pay for anything I'm not following the logic.
He does share his wealth. He provides housing, food, and pays the bill. He posted here about whether to share everything via marriage. He obviously has doubts about her commitment to him, and I don't blame him for being hesitant. I would have been more hesitant about having kids, facing these issues, but that is neither here nor there.
One thing I've learned - "First, do no harm."
Something has changed on this board; it is less kind. I get the sense there are more people with agendas and less polite people posting here.
Must be the heat. Or maybe the humidity...Something has changed on this board; it is less kind. I get the sense there are more people with agendas and less polite people posting here.
I'm surprised at some of the postings here also. There can be a million post asking "Do I have enough to retire." or "Should I pay off my mortgage" and there will be many well thought out replies.
TheFed; opens himself up to a group of older people (yes, I knew theFed was on the younger side from his previous posts and he is trying to change his life) looking for advise and he gets hammered by some with their agendas. I don't think it was easy to make his post and when a person is crying out for help one thing to to is not to hurt them. It doesn't motivate a person to seek out help. in their life. Another thing it does is stops the flow of info from the person seeking help just when they need to open up the most.
Withholding your judgment and offering insights or personal experiences for the person to consider is about the best a person can do on a forum. It helps if this is done in a kind and considerate manner. Be there for the person asking for help not for yourself.
One thing I've learned - "First, do no harm."
Something has changed on this board; it is less kind. I get the sense there are more people with agendas and less polite people posting here.
The general tone here has grown nastier and more impersonal in recent months, and signal:noise has been dropping for some time. I am more guarded about what I say now (believe it or not) and make more use of PMs rather than openly posting. I imagine that its only a matter of time...
Nords,
I did a search on the topics started by Tangomonster and looked at those with "substantive; meaningful" content and some replies. There is a pattern here. Tango starts a topic; might add a trite comment - but usually none - no acknowledgment of the contributions/comments of the posters.
At the best it is impolite towards the people who took the time to post.
There is something strange about it in my mind.
I don't have anyone on my ignore list. This will be the first.
I'm surprised at some of the postings here also. There can be a million post asking "Do I have enough to retire." or "Should I pay off my mortgage" and there will be many well thought out replies.
TheFed; opens himself up to a group of older people (yes, I knew theFed was on the younger side from his previous posts and he is trying to change his life) looking for advise and he gets hammered by some with their agendas. I don't think it was easy to make his post and when a person is crying out for help one thing to to is not to hurt them. It doesn't motivate a person to seek out help. in their life. Another thing it does is stops the flow of info from the person seeking help just when they need to open up the most.
Withholding your judgment and offering insights or personal experiences for the person to consider is about the best a person can do on a forum. It helps if this is done in a kind and considerate manner. Be there for the person asking for help not for yourself.
One thing I've learned - "First, do no harm."
Something has changed on this board; it is less kind. I get the sense there are more people with agendas and less polite people posting here.