How long did decompression/recovery take?

[mbooth]

Did anyone go through a period of sadness or loss, following the exit from the workplace? Most people are talking about feelings of freedom and elation, which is great, but I'm wondering if there were any difficult feelings. For instance, did anyone feel sadness or loss over the closing of such a long chapter of your life, the "end of an era" so to speak? Or loneliness at leaving behind friendships at work? Anxiety over the sudden lack of a paycheck? Disorientation about how to fill your day? etc?

An unequivocal 'Nup!!

W*rk had just become a right-royal PITA, the politics, the downright numb-skullery of upper-management 'processes' being foisted on the worker-bees, the grinding remorselessness of legislative and administrative bureaucracy, the same-old same-old issues of dealing with work-colleagues and sub-ordinates that were more interested in pushing self-serving wheelbarrows than actually doing/producing stuff......sigh, do I sound a tad Bitter-n-Twisted (tm)

'Closing the long chapter of my life'.....nah, my 'War and Peace' had gone on for too many chapters already and I was tired of reading the same paragraphs repeatedly and the era-end couldn't come fast enough for me. No loneliness of leaving folks behind, those I really had an affinity with we still keep in touch with and have lunches as often as we [us and them] want.

No anxiety, well maybe a bit of the cobbly-wobbles, over no paycheck. I'd done the research and 'figgerins', much assisted by the advice gleaned from this board, had tracked expenses and, based on those, was fairly confident we would be OK. The GFC 'unpleasantness' didn't help, occurring only one year before I had planned to retire. But OTOH it helped in stress-testing our plans and attitudes and leading to the view that, if we could weather that, we'd be OK again.

'Filling my day'......never even give it a thought! Do what I/we want whenever we want, including periods of achieving precisely nothing at all for days on end That's what retirement is all about

I guess the trick is to leave the pre-retirement issues and attitudes behind, get on with forging new attitudes.....that is if you want to, or can be bothered to.....there's always tomorrow to get serious about that stuff

Come on in, the water's fine

Cheers - Mick

 

[scrabbler1]

Did anyone go through a period of sadness or loss, following the exit from the workplace? Most people are talking about feelings of freedom and elation, which is great, but I'm wondering if there were any difficult feelings. For instance, did anyone feel sadness or loss over the closing of such a long chapter of your life, the "end of an era" so to speak? Or loneliness at leaving behind friendships at work? Anxiety over the sudden lack of a paycheck? Disorientation about how to fill your day? etc?

No way. As I wrote in Post #39, I was working only 2 days a week by the time I ERed in late 2008. So there were few changes to my daily life other than getting rid of what had become a nuisance to my daily life. There was no sadness or loss, just relief by ridding myself of the last bit of my #1 reason for leaving - the commute.

As for the loss of a paycheck, I had very much intentionally set up my ER to replace my 2 biweekly paychecks per month with an equivalent single, monthly dividend payment. So instead of me working for my money, my money was now working for me!

I had very few friends at work and never hung out with any of my coworkers, so there was pretty much nothing to miss there. For the last few years, I had a lunch partner for many of the days I was at the office, but I can't say I missed that. I was very glad to put that long chapter of my life behind me.

 

[omni550]

I've been retired for several years now. There are still things that must be repaired, replaced, rented, planned, improved, weeded, cut, pruned etc. The problem for me is getting my b*tt motivated enough to get started. I come to believe it's because I do not enjoy working on something alone anymore. This is a new feeling for me. If someone else is around to watch, help, criticize, annoy, or hold the flashlight, I'm good to go. I love to help friends and neighbors repair stuff or work on their problems, just not MY stuff. What is going on with this?? Is this a symptom of something going on mentally? Anyone else have this problem?

tight,

I can *so* relate to your comments. I, too, am wondering what this stems from.

omni

 

[W2R]

Did anyone go through a period of sadness or loss, following the exit from the workplace? Most people are talking about feelings of freedom and elation, which is great, but I'm wondering if there were any difficult feelings. For instance, did anyone feel sadness or loss over the closing of such a long chapter of your life, the "end of an era" so to speak? Or loneliness at leaving behind friendships at work? Anxiety over the sudden lack of a paycheck? Disorientation about how to fill your day? etc?

Within a 1-2 week period my daughter (and only child) married, I retired, and my doctor put me on BP and blood sugar meds for the first time. I didn't feel sadness or loss, but I felt OLD! Thank goodness the feelings of freedom and elation vastly overshadowed that negativity, though. I hardly thought about it, to tell the truth, because there was too much fun to be had in retirement, to linger on negative thoughts. Would I be any younger had I not retired? Uh, no...

If you are financially well prepared and you know it, you won't worry about a paycheck. That is the point of all the financial preparation that most of us have been doing for years and years. As egotistical as it may sound, I trust my own nearly-beaten-to-death figures more than nearly anything else I can think of. As for the other concerns you raise, first of all it's not like the people at one's work all died; the earth is still graced with their presence and one can always make the effort to go see them if desired. One can learn to seek out others if/when one feels lonely, rather than having mandated interactions with others. And, one of the great joys of retirement is getting to decide how to fill your day.

 

[someguy]

I am only (semi-)semi-retired, but I have noticed the same thing. I wonder if it is related to the loss of a significant social structure, whether it was a positive, negative, or mixed one. This seems especially true of certain simple/repetitive type tasks. Even as a kid, it was easier to do the raking chores if someone else was helping.

tight,

I can *so* relate to your comments. I, too, am wondering what this stems from.

omni

 

[omni550]

I am only (semi-)semi-retired, but I have noticed the same thing. I wonder if it is related to the loss of a significant social structure, whether it was a positive, negative, or mixed one. This seems especially true of certain simple/repetitive type tasks. Even as a kid, it was easier to do the raking chores if someone else was helping.

You may be onto something.

While w*rking, I was always lauded for being a great team player (unlike the many prima donnas the corporate culture seemed to spawn). Perhaps, I like that sense of team spirit?


omni

 

[David1961]

Did anyone go through a period of sadness or loss, following the exit from the workplace? Most people are talking about feelings of freedom and elation, which is great, but I'm wondering if there were any difficult feelings. For instance, did anyone feel sadness or loss over the closing of such a long chapter of your life, the "end of an era" so to speak? Or loneliness at leaving behind friendships at work? Anxiety over the sudden lack of a paycheck? Disorientation about how to fill your day? etc?

For me, it was more of a transition than sadness or loss. When you work for so many years, I think your job does to some extent become part of your identity. Retirement gives you the opportunity to "redefine yourself".

 

[Rich_by_the_Bay]

I had anticipated this but it never happened. My overwhelming feeling has been relief that I never have to endure the bad times again. I feel satisfaction about what I achieved, and I hope that others will build on it, but I am happy to move on.

+1

 

[Dawg52]

Not long at all for me. I retired as golf season was kicking off and I moved right on into that. No stress on the golf course, well......most of the time.

 

[friar1610]

I did a "practice ER" when I retired from the military at 43. Going from an unbelievably stressful j*b in the Pentagon to an utterly relaxed lifestyle took about a weekend. The pleasure of getting the local newspaper delivered along with the WSJ every morning, then sitting with as many cups of coffee as I liked, for as long as I liked, before starting my day was simply as good as it could possibly get.

After 4 or 5 months, I started getting antsy and looking for something to do. So I got a civilian j*b (in a completely different career field), and actually enjoyed it for a number of years. But when the company got bought out I volunteered for the first round of layoffs (I was 55 at the time). Much to my delight, they accepted, gave me a nice severance, and I went into full-scale ER with never another thought about w*rking again. For the second time, the transition was about a weekend.

Needless to say, as soon as I hung up my commuting shoes, people started calling and asking for consulting time. I have always made it a rule to never do more than 10 weeks per year in that role, and only on projects I truly enjoy, so it's really just a hobby, not actual w*rk.

Since I know you slightly, I would venture to guess that you will find your experience to have at least some slight parallels with my second ER. Nothing to worry about in the least!

My experience was similar. Retired from the military with no job lined up. Planned to kick back for about 90 days before finding a job. It turned out to be about 4 months before I started working. One thing I learned during that period was that the finances were going to be easier on just my Navy pension than I had planned on.

Held a few jobs during my 6 1/2 year civilian "career" and always took a couple months off between jobs. When I finally retired for good, I was well versed on retirement living and had zero adjustment problems.

 

[John Galt III]

Lots of adjustment problems here. I had been telling myself for years I owed it to myself to retire, since could afford it, and since I only had x number of years left on the planet. The problem was I enjoyed my job too much! So I kept on doing the one more year thing. Then I got fired unexpectedly in December of 2012. Been going through all sorts of emotional thrashing about what to do, or not do, since then. Sometimes I like my situation, sometimes I don't.

 

[GT1 Doug]

Did anyone go through a period of sadness or loss, following the exit from the workplace? Most people are talking about feelings of freedom and elation, which is great, but I'm wondering if there were any difficult feelings. For instance, did anyone feel sadness or loss over the closing of such a long chapter of your life, the "end of an era" so to speak? Or loneliness at leaving behind friendships at work? Anxiety over the sudden lack of a paycheck? Disorientation about how to fill your day? etc?

I worked hard until the last day at 3:30. An hour later, I was walked to the front door, my security badge was turned in and I suddenly found myself on the outside looking in. I would characterize what I felt was sadness despite all the bad feelings I had toward the evil megacorp. I had worked there 32 years, had many friends, had earned the respect of my peers and there were some aspects of my job I truly enjoyed. I would say that feeling lasted through the weekend. Monday morning when I didn't have to go in, I definitely felt better. I went fishing on Tuesday and that cured any lingering feelings of sadness. I still miss some aspects of my work, but I don't miss megacorp politics and policies. I would also say that I still have concerns that I am no longer a "productive member of society", but, they are minor compared to how much better I feel since I left.

I actually spend more quality time with my friends from work in that my schedule is very open and I can usually meet them when they have free time, something that generally didn't happen frequently when I was working because inevitably our schedules would not match up. I go to lunch with the gang about once a month.

As far as the loss of the paycheck, that bothers me because of my very conservative fiscal nature, however, we had an extremely detailed retirement budget plan based on years of detailed records. For the first year at least, our expenditures have been considerably less than what we had budgeted for. It effectively has been a nonissue.

How to fill the day? I have found that I am so busy, I have to maintain an accurate calendar. I get to fish, hunt and dive every season. I have time to read. I take a large number of day trips. I get to attend a variety of events I never had time for before (i.e., the Barrett-Jackson Car Auction last week). We spend a lot more time with friends and family, including going on trips with them. We go camping on weekdays when most of the parks we go to are nearly empty. I get to spend time on my hobbies. We go out to dinner with friends often. And I even find time to do a little volunteer work. I do find myself spending a fair amount of time doing yardwork and house projects that I sometimes think of as trivial, however, I consider them good exercise. I get to take advantage of opportunities that I would almost never get to if I were working (short notice to serve as crew on a yacht being ferried over to the Bahamas next week) In short, I never knew I would be so "busy" after leaving work.

 

[Walt34]

I see a lot of the issue of reluctance to leave the work social structure where I'm working now. The federal government is reducing the contracted pay rate by almost 50% (position reclassification) so I and several others are leaving in mid-July when the change takes effect.

While most are staying because they need the income and jobs are scarce around here, what somewhat surprises me is the number of people who are staying on despite the fact that they are financially able to fully retire if they wanted to. Two are multimillionaires. And one of them is constantly whining about not getting enough hours, how the contracting company is an evil greedy megacorp, and so on! I guess he wouldn't have anything to complain about if he was on a beach in Tahiti.

Me, I'm going to start at the local college taking photography classes, do some more local day trips with DW, and try to become less goal-oriented and learn to do some of that "live in the moment" thing that I've heard about.

 

[Longview]

You may be onto something.

While w*rking, I was always lauded for being a great team player (unlike the many prima donnas the corporate culture seemed to spawn). Perhaps, I like that sense of team spirit?


omni

Humans are built to help each other. Doing your own stuff is work. Helping other people out makes you feel like you're contributing to community, making the world a better place. It feels good.

Of course when they take it for granted, and it consumes your schedule... well, that's a job then.

 

[Bikerdude]

The first 8 weeks was a rapid decompress for me getting to 80% of normal. The remaining 20% was achieved at the 6 month mark.

 

[Birchwood]

I decided to retire at 61, but due to difficulty of finding my replacement( very specialized job), I'm still here closer to 63. The extra time allows me to think
about all the issues of ret. It appears that I will be closer to 64, when I quit, but that's OK.
I've made a plan of things I like to do and schedule of daily activities I will do on a daily basis.
I've set my mind to reinvent work!
I have studied my finances well and with little adjustment and no significant change in life style, I'm good for many years.
I will certainly miss some, and am ready to feel the shock and uncertainty.
Given the stress, politics, bureaucracy of the work place, and knowing that
I am financially independent, I like my chances and excited to move on.
At 64 I hope I have quite a lot of years yet to enjoy life.

 

[Katsmeow]

I decided to retire at 61, but due to difficulty of finding my replacement( very specialized job), I'm still here closer to 63. The extra time allows me to think
about all the issues of ret. It appears that I will be closer to 64, when I quit, but that's OK.

You know, if you got hit by a bus your employer would have to make do somehow or would have to find someone else who wasn't perhaps so ideal....

I do understand wanting to properly transition particularly from a good employer, but I'm not sure that I would wait 3 full years to do so unless I had personal reasons.

 

[Meadbh]

You know, if you got hit by a bus your employer would have to make do somehow or would have to find someone else who wasn't perhaps so ideal....

I do understand wanting to properly transition particularly from a good employer, but I'm not sure that would wait 3 full years to do unless I had personal reasons.

+1
A "very specialized job" might require that you stick around to complete the budget cycle, or the academic year, or give 6 months' notice if that is what your contract says, but anything more is just perpetuating the dependency. None of us is indispensable.

 

[CoolChange]

You know, if you got hit by a bus your employer would have to make do somehow or would have to find someone else who wasn't perhaps so ideal....

I do understand wanting to properly transition particularly from a good employer, but I'm not sure that I would wait 3 full years to do so unless I had personal reasons.

OP may be a key player in a small company with equity considerations. If so, leaving without a proper replacement has the potential to seriously impact his net worth. So, there may be more than altruistic considerations here.

I am personally dealing with exactly this issue: If I leave on schedule, certain customers will suffer; and, the value of my company will as well. So, I am considering extending my employment yet again.

Maybe this is just another flavor of OMY for both OP and me.

 

[LoneAspen]

OP may be a key player in a small company with equity considerations. If so, leaving without a proper replacement has the potential to seriously impact his net worth. So, there may be more than altruistic considerations here.

I am personally dealing with exactly this issue: If I leave on schedule, certain customers will suffer; and, the value of my company will as well. So, I am considering extending my employment yet again.

Maybe this is just another flavor of OMY for both OP and me.

I'm fortunate that when I leave, my vacancy will have no financial impact on the company. We probably will have been acquired by then, anyway, by a much larger MegaCorp (at least, I hope so, to boost the market valuation before me leaving) where we all will be little more than bodies and numbers.

I've never been a high-enough ranking person that my leaving would have a material impact on the company. So when I decide to leave, I'll give them two weeks, then it's out the door. I've never given an employer more than two weeks, and doubt I ever would unless they offered "crazy stupid" money to entice me to stay.

In fact, if I had enough of a windfall and could truly FIRE, I might not even give two weeks. The thought of escaping and finally being free might compel me to just give one week, or even a few days, then *POOF* I disappear and get to enjoy Life 2.0