Introvert Extrovert

[mcbraemer]

An absolute introvert here. Sometimes when I'm alone its too crowded.

Funny lol !!!
I am an introverted retired engineer. I am able to fake extroversion for short periods of time but then need solitary CPR to recover from the stress and strain. Same for DW. Funny that our 3 grown girls are extroverts, and make up for us!

 

[Rocket Man]

I am a mild introvert. I enjoy going out to eat with other couples or with guy friends. I am fine starting up a conversation with a stranger I might sit next to while waiting for my wife while she shops. I was fine with people I worked with over the years. Here is what I was not good at and never liked… large groups of people, most of which I did not know. Such as seminars or my wife’s class reunions or corporate holiday parties. I would try, but typically turned into a wall flower and could not wait to leave. Those settings seem to drain my energy. Does anyone else have that issue? I do recharge my batteries best with alone time.

 

[Sweetlip]

When young I was definitely an extrovert and got my energy from being around people. I never needed time alone to recharge. I frequently would have parties with 30 people. Since I have gotten older people tire me out and I need time alone to recharge.

I can identify with this. I started my career in technical ranks, got an engineering degree and went further down that path, Then I switched into commercial areas - marketing, sales management, business management etc. I was assessed as ENTP under Myers-Briggs and definitely drew energy from being in a crowd. I was at the extreme end of the scale on Extroversion.

However, much of my early life had me doing things on my own. I did get lonely often. However, in truth, I have never sought to have a bunch of friends throughout my life as my siblings have. I was also very shy and unsure about how people would see me, albeit I had enough arrogance that when people in authority told I would never be able to do something, I delighted in proving them wrong.

When I told a psychologist who was working for me at one time, that I really preferred my own company in private, she told me that extreme extroverts can flip their behaviour sometimes. I forgot what she called it but it was something like an inversion of the personality type.

I can still draw great energy when I am in a crowd and am very comfortable at public speaking because as a marketing person, I had so much experience at it, but I am more than happy with my own company and that of my wife as sole company. Gardening, woodworking and night fishing out on a boat on my own under the stars (and satellites!) are just the most wonderful experiences for me after 17 years of retirement. Even at work, the best time was Friday night when the rest of the office had gone home and I could stay late and finally be able to get some serious work done.

My sister (80+) cannot seem to be happy unless she has a constant stream of contacts with friends and other people. In this regard, I think that the old song that says, "people who need people are the luckiest people in the world" is dead wrong. They just seem to be so needy all of the time. I reckon that the better sentiment is that ""people who DON'T need people are the luckiest people in the world"

 

[RobLJ]

Supposedly an INTP, although with some other tendencies, which is why I take all this with massive grains of salt.
However, a crucial aspect in my childhood and particularly teen/early adulthood was that my fraternal twin was a huge extrovert, which as my mother says taught me to mirror his tendencies and sometimes be a more successful faux extrovert than he was, bless his soul. (He had a progressive myclonic disease, which is like slow-acting Lou Gehrig's disease.) In almost every way, I was the lucky one, although it doesn't haunt me as much as it did in my teens through 40's.

 

[RobLJ]

I will add that this site is thick with apparent (alleged?) INTJs-- which isn't necessarily a bad thing.

 

[Lisa99]

?? Way back when didn't we do some survey's showing FIRE forums a tad overweight INTJ's vs the general population?

Heh heh heh -

I'm also an INTJ which is rare among females

 

[Rocket Man]

I agree. I don’t think anyone in the world except my DH would think of me as an introvert, but I am.

I read a book on Johnny Carson and discovered that he was an introvert. He hated Hollywood parties. Watched him until he retired. Found that somewhat surprising, although he would occasionally mention it on the show.

 

[indiajust]

I am utterly dissipated by too much social, esp new faces. Much easier to focus on one person at a time. Sleep like a stone after get togethers.

intro by nature

 

[Koolau]

I read a book on Johnny Carson and discovered that he was an introvert. He hated Hollywood parties. Watched him until he retired. Found that somewhat surprising, although he would occasionally mention it on the show.

A lot of folks in "show business" are introverts. I think they "act" gregarious because it is their j*b and they get used to doing it. But it's often an act.


Carson mentioned it many times and I believed him. He was so talented, you'd think he would have accepted that and been more (naturally) outgoing. BUT I don't think it w*rks that way. You might become more comfortable in your "j*b" setting - but not in your personal life.

 

[old medic]

almost
Extroverts are like energy vampires who feed off the life blood of introverts
Introverts then have to go quiet and alone to recharge to face you psychos again

Maybe thats why I got the nickname "Lunitic"... I have always been one who never meets a stranger.

 

[PatrickW]

Hard core INTJ here. Meaning I’m pretty much maxed in the respective categories.

HR gave us the Myers-Briggs at my former employer. They chose several peoples results as examples to discuss in front of a group of several hundred. The very last one discussed was mine, which the giggly, extroverted HR types actually made fun of.

I’m happy with the way I am, and wouldn’t want me to be any other way. But I admit that I DESPISE most extroverts. Most people, for that matter.

I keep it quiet and polite, but deep down inside I wish I could push a button and exterminate most of mankind.

Yeah, I like being left alone.

 

[Alex The Great]

Introvert forced to play extravert's role for entire life, in order to achieve at least something.

 

[Car-Guy]

Introvert for the most part. I can deal w/people when necessary but prefer not.

 

[street]

Introvert forced to play extravert's role for entire life, in order to achieve at least something.

That is a very common thing, and I can say it was me also. Had to be very social most of my professional career. It wasn't easy at times.

 

[Gumby]

Largely on account of the type of work I did, I trained myself to be more gregarious, but man it's draining.

 

[COcheesehead]

A few people on here know I work a few days a month at winery. I talk to probably a hundred or more people a shift. I will tell that everyone turns into an extrovert after a glass of wine.

 

[sparky08]

It’s been said, I think by Susan Cain in her book Quiet, that an introvert can fake being an extrovert but not vice versa.

I remember reading this book years ago and thinking "My people!"

But I'm getting more extroverted as the years go by and DW is getting more introverted.

 

[sparky08]

I was a software engineer at a company of about 100. Half were in development and half everything else (sales, marketing, hr, management). Dev was on one side of the building and everyone else was on the other side.

We (devs) were quiet, heads down, lights off. The other half was chatty, interactive, lights were on (way too bright).

The others would have luncheons or knock off early for beers and try to get us to join. Sometimes we would grab a piece of pizza and take it back to our desks. It was so sterotypical.

Management, ever meddling, would threaten to mix the groups. Just the idea was enough to send shivers down our spines.

 

[Koolau]

Maybe thats why I got the nickname "Lunitic"... I have always been one who never meets a stranger.

Heh, heh, I never caught that vibe from your posts!

 

[Koolau]

Hard core INTJ here. Meaning I’m pretty much maxed in the respective categories.

HR gave us the Myers-Briggs at my former employer. They chose several peoples results as examples to discuss in front of a group of several hundred. The very last one discussed was mine, which the giggly, extroverted HR types actually made fun of.

I’m happy with the way I am, and wouldn’t want me to be any other way. But I admit that I DESPISE most extroverts. Most people, for that matter.

I keep it quiet and polite, but deep down inside I wish I could push a button and exterminate most of mankind.

Yeah, I like being left alone.

Well, we do have an "ignore" option here. Of course, it would get kinda lonely with never hearing from ANYONE. But, YMMV.

 

[ElizabethT]

Extrovert all the way, which the COVID shutdowns 100% re-affirmed. Interestingly, my spouse is an introvert, and I am so in awe of his self-discipline in getting things done each day. Me? I flit from thing to thing if left to my own devices, but focus like a hawk as soon as I know there will be people involved. The energy I draw from other people is so measurable. I don't need it constantly, but I do need it consistently. My husband is the same with regard to his alone time- he needs it consistently, but not constantly.

He is a socially-adept introvert, while I'm a high flying extrovert, so we balance each other nicely.

 

[COcheesehead]

I was a software engineer at a company of about 100. Half were in development and half everything else (sales, marketing, hr, management). Dev was on one side of the building and everyone else was on the other side.

We (devs) were quiet, heads down, lights off. The other half was chatty, interactive, lights were on (way too bright).

The others would have luncheons or knock off early for beers and try to get us to join. Sometimes we would grab a piece of pizza and take it back to our desks. It was so sterotypical.

Management, ever meddling, would threaten to mix the groups. Just the idea was enough to send shivers down our spines.

When I owned my business for the holidays we would offer all the staff a $100 cash bonus or a night out at Del Frisco’s Double Eagle Steakhouse - where the steaks are $60-$80 alone. Throw in sides, cocktails, etc, it’s easily $200/person.
Sales and marketing went to dinner, production took the cash - every year.

 

[Teacher Terry]

Maybe thats why I got the nickname "Lunitic"... I have always been one who never meets a stranger.

It’s interesting because my dad was the same and my brother and I are too. My sister not so much. I guess it’s genetic. I have had many great conversations with strangers and even made some friends.

 

[Toddtheformeraccountant]

I'm an introvert....definite get weaker and tired when I have to interact with people, strengthened when I'm alone. Hasn't really kept me from anything important.

 

[Koolau]

I'm an introvert....definite get weaker and tired when I have to interact with people, strengthened when I'm alone. Hasn't really kept me from anything important.

I'm an introvert with people I don't know but an extrovert with people I know well. What's up with that?