It's funny joke Thursday! 2005 - 2020

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2010 American Economic Association humor session



 
And from The Onion
Something About Tax Cuts Or Earnings Or Money Or Something In Recent Economic News | The Onion - America's Finest News Source
According to numerous articles and economics segments from major media outlets, experts on banks and such have become increasingly concerned over a new extension or rates or a proposal or compromise that could signal fewer investments, and dollars, and so on.
./.
Some sort of tax cut or earnings or money or something was reported in economic news this week in further evidence that a lot of financial- related things have been going on lately
./.
There might be a light at the end of the tunnel, but right now the markets are still struggling, the man who was wearing a blue suit and red tie said about some special money tunnel. At this point, though, it's too early to say
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While walking down the street one day a Corrupt Senator was tragically hit by a car and died.

His soul arrives in heaven and is met by St. Peter at the entrance.

"Welcome to heaven," says St. Peter. "Before you settle in, it seems there is a problem. We seldom see a high official around these parts, you see, so we're not sure what to do with you."

"No problem, just let me in," says the Senator.

"Well, I'd like to, but I have orders from the higher ups. What we'll do is have you spend one day in hell and one in heaven. Then you can choose where to spend eternity."

"Really?, I've made up my mind. I want to be in heaven," says the Senator.

"I'm sorry, but we have our rules."

And with that, St. Peter escorts him to the

elevator and he goes down, down, down to hell.

The doors open and he finds himself in the middle of a green golf course. In the distance is a clubhouse and standing in front of it are all his friends and other politicians who had worked with him.

Everyone is very happy and in evening dress. They run to greet him, shake his hand, and reminisce about the good times they had while getting rich at the expense of the people.
They played a friendly game of golf and then dine on lobster, caviar and the finest champagne.

Also present is the devil, who really is a very friendly guy who is having a good time dancing and telling jokes.

They are all having such a good time that before the Senator realizes it, it is time to go.

Everyone gives him a hearty farewell and waves while the elevator

rises.

The elevator goes up, up, up and the door reopens in heaven where St. Peter is waiting for him, "Now it's time to visit heaven...”

So, 24 hours passed with the Senator joining a group of contented souls moving from cloud to cloud, playing the harp and singing. They have a good time and, before he realizes it, the 24 hours have gone by and St. Peter returns.

"Well, then, you've spent a day in hell and another in heaven. Now choose your eternity."

The Senator reflects for a minute, then he answers: "Well, I would never have said it before, I mean heaven has been delightful, but I think I would be better off in hell."

So St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to hell...

Now the doors of the elevator open and he's in the middle of a barren land covered with waste and garbage. He sees all his friends, dressed

in rags, picking up the trash and putting it in black bags as more trash falls to the ground.

The devil comes over to him and puts his arm around his shoulders.

"I don't understand," stammers the Senator. "Yesterday I was here and there was a golf course and clubhouse, and we ate lobster and caviar, drank champagne, and danced and had a great time. Now there's just a wasteland full of garbage and my friends look miserable. What happened?"

The devil smiles at him and says,
"Yesterday we were campaigning, Today, you voted.."

Vote wisely on November 2, 2010

​
 
Did you ever know that I used to be a bank teller? That was a great job. I was bringing home $450 000 a week.



.
 
WHEN I SAY I'M BROKE---I'M BROKE!!

A little old lady answered a knock on the door one day, only to be
 confronted by a well-dressed young man carrying a vacuum cleaner. 'Good
 morning,' said the young man. 'If I could take a couple of minutes of
 your time, I would like to demonstrate the very latest in high-powered
 vacuum cleaners.' 'Go away!' said the old lady. 'I'm broke and haven't
 got any money!' and she proceeded to close the door.? Quick as a flash,
 the young man wedged his foot in the door and pushed it wide open.?
 Don't be too hasty!' he said. 'Not until you have at least seen my
 demonstration.' And with that, he emptied a bucket of horse manure onto
 her hallway carpet. 'If this vacuum cleaner does not remove all traces
 of this horse manure from your carpet, Madam, I will personally eat the
 remainder.' The old lady stepped back and said, 'Well let me get your
 ass a fork, 'cause they cut off my electricity this
 morning.' What part of I'm broke don't you understand?
 
Senior Citizen and the BMW convertible

A senior citizen drove his brand new BMW Z4 convertible out of the car salesroom. Taking off down the motorway, he floored it to 100mph, enjoying the wind blowing through what little hair he had left.

"Amazing!" he thought as he flew down the motorway, enjoying pushing the pedal to the metal even more. Looking in his rear view mirror, he saw a police car behind him, blue lights flashing and siren blaring.

"I can get away from him - no problem!" thought the elderly nutcase as he floored it to 120mph, then 140 then 160mph. Suddenly, he thought, "What on earth am I doing? I'm too old for this nonsense!" So he pulled over to the side of the road and waited for the police car to catch up with him.

Pulling in behind him, the police officer walked up the driver's side of the BMW, looked at his watch and said, "Sir, my shift ends in 10 minutes.
Today is Friday and I'm taking off for the weekend. If you can give me a reason why you were speeding that I've never heard before, I'll let you go."

The man, looked very seriously at the policeman, and replied, "Years ago, my wife ran off with a policeman. I thought you were bringing her back."

"Enjoy your weekend, Sir"
 
RIqYD.png
 
Nice one Harley :ROFLMAO:

DW has a T-shirt that DD bought her that says, "There are 10 types of people in this world. Those who understand binary, and those who don't"
 
I fail to see the humor of that bumper sticker. It's quite poor taste to brag about one's expertise/understanding in a subject that has little or no effect in everyday life. I also wonder how many of those sticker's owners really understand the physics phenomenon associated with that message.
 
Sam said:
I fail to see the humor of that bumper sticker. It's quite poor taste to brag about one's expertise/understanding in a subject that has little or no effect in everyday life. I also wonder how many of those sticker's owners really understand the physics phenomenon associated with that message.
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Some of us had to learn that stuff in order to pass the exams and get our diplomas, so we don't see the harm in sharing an insider joke with a fellow geek. IMO it's no worse than the bumper stickers flaunting Latin or some other foreign language (especially if I don't speak it) or "John 3:16" or "23rd Psalm" or "WWJD"...

When I see a bumper sticker like that, I get curious and Google the sticker or the association to figure out what it's about.

kumquat said:
I don't understand. Can you explain it to me?
Click to expand...
Blue shift - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
 
Nords said:
IMO it's no worse than the bumper stickers flaunting Latin or some other foreign language (especially if I don't speak it) or "John 3:16" or "23rd Psalm" or "WWJD"...
Click to expand...

Please Nords, don't get me started on those.
 
Wow, no intention of starting a controversy. I just saw the picture and it made me laugh, so I thought I would post it. I don't understand half the stuff I read here, so I either have to look it up and learn something new or just watch it fly by. :cool:
 
My brother's wife has lost her credit card

I got an e-mail from my brother today. He said that his wife lost her credit card 6 months ago but he hasn't reported it yet because the thief is spending less than she did.
 
How pumpkin pie is made

How pumpkin pie is made


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Michael, that is disgusting!! :yuk: but very funny.
 
After the news that that Goldman Sachs was planning on a new campaign to brighten up their image, The Big Picture asked for recommendations. Here is the list of winning entries and finalists

Some offensive language below...

[FONT=&quot]Top 10 Ideas for Goldman Sachs New Ad Campaign[/FONT]

 [FONT=&quot]10. Under Buffetts protection since 2008[/FONT]
 [FONT=&quot]9. Putting the zero in zero-sum game.[/FONT]
 [FONT=&quot]8. Government Bailout: $29 billion [/FONT]
 [FONT=&quot]SEC Settlement: $550 million [/FONT]
 [FONT=&quot]Doing Gods work? Priceless.[/FONT]
 [FONT=&quot]7. Helping you forget about Bernie Madoff one CDO at a time[/FONT]
 [FONT=&quot]6. Goldman Sachs: Americas Counterparty[/FONT]
 [FONT=&quot]5. Let us do for you what we did for Greece.[/FONT]
 [FONT=&quot]4. Like we give a **** what you think about us . . .[/FONT]
 [FONT=&quot]3. Goldman Sachs: There are some things money can't buy. For everything else, theres JPMorgan.[/FONT]
 [FONT=&quot]2. The Rothschilds were Pussies[/FONT]

 [FONT=&quot]And the number 1 advertising slogan for the new Goldman Sachs ad campaign:[/FONT]

 [FONT=&quot]1. We put the douche in fiduciary
[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]5 Runners up

[/FONT][FONT=&quot]Doing Gods work, since 1869.

To Serve Man
(I really wrestled with this one from the Twilight Zone but I feared it might be too obscure )

The meek shall inherit the earth and we'll finance it.

Lobbying to bring Don't Ask, Don't Tell to a whole new level.

Goldman Sachs. No, we won't call you afterwards.

Honorable Mentions

We get the gold, you get the sack.

Goldman Rapes, Pillages & Sachs

The illegal we do immediately. The unconstitutional takes a little longer

Leverage: Its whats for dinner.

Claim everything, Explain nothing, Deny everything.

Adapt and Exploit

Vote for anybody you want, they all work for us.

What happens on Wall Street, stays on Wall Street.

Dude! You're getting a deal!

Between greed and madness lies Goldman.

Got Greed?

Behind every great fortune lies a great crime. Behind that crime lies Goldman Sachs.

Were rich as hell and were not going to take this anymore!

We make money for you, or against you, or sometimes both.

Goldman Sachs keeps going and going and going.

Its not personal, Sonny. Its strictly business.

Vampire Squids rule!

Greed Sanctioned.

Were not crooks, were profit optimizers.[/FONT]
 
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