Sharing 23 years of Frugal Retirement

[Teacher Terry]

A good friend of mine had it by 50. Really sad. Finally ended up in a home at 63 when her husband was dying. Fortunately her cancer came back and took her in 16 months. She was miserable, in diapers, scared, depressed and finally couldn’t talk. We visited a lot and it was heartbreaking.

 

[Dash man]

DW’s mom has Alzheimer’s and her step-mom has dementia. Her dad is with her step-mom from 7:30-5:00 everyday, except when we can talk him into taking a break. The step-mom is soon going into a Medicaid nursing home. DW’s mom is in memory care with a maximum retention of five minutes of recent events.

 

[trumpeting_angel]

We are the baby boom, and we are living longer. I'm sure that's part of the recipe for the dementia explosion coming our way.

I've worked in assisted living and nursing homes. Good care for dementia patients is difficult - changing diapers, confused (and sometimes angry, even violent) patients, watching all your patients get worse . . . it's a very demanding job and doesn't pay well. Not that it isn't rewarding, as well. Some of the kindest, most interesting people who are struggling with severely impaired memory are wonderful to talk to, and work with. (As a psychologist, I wasn't involved in changing diapers or trying to safely help someone shower.) I worry for our future, though. That's a lot of workers who need big hearts and great patience.

 

[imoldernu]

Taoism

Every once in a while, I come across an article that goes a little deeper into life... that puts the world in a different perspective. The link posted below is one of those.

Most will say it's very negative and depressing, and will likely disagree with the author's conclusions. Others will totally disagree with the thesis and feel that it like crying "wolf" ... where nothing that is happening is out of the normal. For those who feel that way, probably not a good read.

A brief preview:

Everyone wants to change their lives for the better (or preserve what's positive), and this is relatively straightforward in a healthy system with positive incentives and a transparent, productive set of rules and feedbacks.

But what if the system is broken? How do we change our lives for the better in a dysfunctional system of unearned privilege and perverse incentives? Needless to say, it's difficult, and this is why we see a rise in inward-directed solutions.

If we can't change the external world we inhabit, then the "solution" is to nurture an inner tranquility. It's no wonder that Taoism--perhaps the ultimate inner-directed philosophy--arose during the Warring States era in China, when social unrest and conflict were endemic.

The article is from Charles Hugh Smith, a daily financial blogger with whom you may be familiar.

It's meaningful to me, in that it's a perspective that helps me see many things that seem unfair, but can't influence or change. Subjects that are not discussed in the normal course of events, or in the news.

In short... a bit of philosophy that will be calming to me in my dotage.

https://www.oftwominds.com/blog.html

 

[Murf2]

Every once in a while, I come across an article that goes a little deeper into life... that puts the world in a different perspective. The link posted below is one of those.

Most will say it's very negative and depressing, and will likely disagree with the author's conclusions. Others will totally disagree with the thesis and feel that it like crying "wolf" ... where nothing that is happening is out of the normal. For those who feel that way, probably not a good read.

A brief preview:



The article is from Charles Hugh Smith, a daily financial blogger with whom you may be familiar.

It's meaningful to me, in that it's a perspective that helps me see many things that seem unfair, but can't influence or change. Subjects that are not discussed in the normal course of events, or in the news.

In short... a bit of philosophy that will be calming to me in my dotage.

https://www.oftwominds.com/blog.html

Great link! I think this guy got it right. [emoji3]

https://youtu.be/BofvfVPFbiM

 

[Dreamer]

I enjoyed the article and agree about limiting media and social media as much as possible. I hardly watch the news at all nowadays, but used to watch it every night. I have recently "snoozed for 30 days" friends on Facebook because of some political things that they post and I disagree with. I have decided that there is no use for me to read their posts and get upset.

I will go back and read some of his articles that are in archives.

 

[Dreamer]

Murf2-I just watched your link. We have liked John Prine for many years and have seen him in concert. I have never seen him that young though. What a trip!

 

[HFWR]

https://youtu.be/MmjnQjRvPUQ

 

[imoldernu]

CCRC Fitness Center

I know this properly belongs in the health and esrly retirement, but I wanted to share this as one of the things to look for, if and when you are considering a CCRC when the time comes. (We made the happy move @ age 68).

Finally, after 14 years of walking and exercise biking at home, we took the big step, in our 83rd year, to go into a free exercise program that our Liberty Village offers.

I realize that many of you go to fitness centers on a regular basis, but for us, it was an amazing experience. WOW!

Some details... and maybe something to look for (when the time comes).

The exercise rooms, (2) total about 2000 s.f. and with more tha 30 pieces of equipment (more later).

To start, we needed our Dr.'s okay. After that, an hour evaluation of current fitness level, measuring heart rate, oxygen, ten minute walk, balance, and several minutes on each of ten different exercise machines, to check for flexibility, and stamina.

The center is open 8 hours a day 6 days a week, and employs 6 registered full time physical therapists, and another 7 assistants.

Next... the equipment. For more detail on the types of equipment, look up "Scifit" and "Hur fitness". My guess, several hundred thousand dollars. Every piece provides exercise for specific muscles or muscle groups. My current schedule is for about an hour on 9 different pieces of equipment.

In the beginning, a therapist works with you all the time... instructing on how to "mount" the machine, and adjusting the equipment for the proper fit... seat height, reach for arms and legs. Also specific instructions on safety... stepping up and getting off. (Sounds like a lot of detail. but for older folks, the key is safety.) Something to consider when looking for a CCRC for a loved one.

So... about the machines. You may already know about this... anyway:
As a result of the initial evaluation, you receive your own personal card.. Like a credit card... That contains your current exercise program. The machines you'll use, and the specifics of what the machines will do. Usually, it sets the amount of resistance, the time, and the number of repeats. so, for the recumbent stepper, the initial settings might be resistance 5, 3 sets of ten, and one repeat. Your exercise program sets the program for each machine, and then based on the recorded result, will project the settings for the next time you use that same machine. As you exit each machine, the screen tells you where to go next. FWIW, (below) a pic of the typical info screen on each piece of equipment.

The fitness center is usually quite busy. Particularly for patients who are in the recovery section our our CCRC... Called "Bounce Back". A separate section tied in with the assisted living section , and there for persons who are there for health evaluation, or for those who are recovering from any temporary condition.

An interesting sidenote that has particular meaning for me. It seems that exercise has a positive effect on people suffering from early stages of dementia.

In any case, jeanie and I go together now for an hour, twice a week. Too early to tell about the long haul, but we enjoy it very much... nice people, and a pleasant experience.

 

[Walt34]

In any case, jeanie and I go together now for an hour, twice a week. Too early to tell about the long haul, but we enjoy it very much... nice people, and a pleasant experience.

This sounds very similar to the gym that DW and I go to. I make it more of a priority than she does (but she's six years younger) and I find that making sure to go every other day makes a huge difference in energy levels. Taking a week or more off and then going back makes the atrophy very visible, much more so than decades ago. Scary how fast that sets in now!

 

[Retire2013]

we enjoy it very much... nice people, and a pleasant experience.

Yes. I, too, enjoy going to the gym very much. I aim to go 4 times a week, any less frequent and I may tend to lose motivation to go at all!

 

[imoldernu]

There have been many post regarding retirement communities, and the different kinds of plans that may be available.

An often heard comment goes something like this:
"I would never move in to a CCRC. I plan to live in my own home forever."

And that's understandable. Early on, it was my idea too. I loved my house... knew all my neighbors and was comfortably ensconced in my community. As stated earlier in this thread, we moved to our Liberty Village home back in 2004, and are still living in our villa... not yet ready to take the next step to move into whatever part of the community will serve us best.

I believe that some of the reluctance to move comes from not understanding just what some CCRC's offer. While you will not be moving into our community here, you might want to know just what options may be offered in communities in your area..

The link below, is to an FAQ that covers the benefits and options that should be a part of what you may want to know about the different parts that can answer some of the misconceptions about moving into an "old folks home".

At the very least, whether for yourself, or perhaps your parents, this could provide a broader view of what to expect, and what to ask when moving into a long term care facility.

For whatever reason, I had never gone to the FAQ page, which covers much more than my limited explanation. Here's the link
https://simplythefinest.net/faqs.php

 

[Teacher Terry]

We have some 55+ housing communities but they don’t have apartments and assisted living. Also they are ridiculously expensive.

 

[pacergal]

We have two huge new facilities being built on each side of our town. Both CCRC. Have not looked into costs yet, nothing is on their websites!
Something we may consider in the future, but at this point, plan to age in place as long as possible.

 

[Teacher Terry]

At 94 my aunt lives alone in her own apartment. My mom did the same. Hope I am that lucky.

 

[imoldernu]

At 94 my aunt lives alone in her own apartment. My mom did the same. Hope I am that lucky.

Yes... we're hoping that too. Living in our villa is perfect, and with a lot of luck we'll be able to stay here until... Being healthy is #1 and keeping the brain active is #2.

The reason I post about CCRC's is for members to understand that the option is available if not for themselves, but perhaps for their loved ones. The most common problem that happens with an elderly parent has to go into continuous care, is that it's a matter of some urgency, and the children are not familiar with the options that are available.

We see in our own facility, people who initially were admitted to other care centers... and who, after a few months, move into our more caring, more up to date facilities. Knowing what to look for, and being knowledgeable about the realities of senior care will ensure that the later years are comfortable and safe.

 

[kgtest]

My biggest fear is the day of the "semi-private" room. My 92 year old grandpa moved to one and I think that was the straw that broke the camel's back. He did not like the roomate idea.

 

[Teacher Terry]

I had to place a friend of mine in a facility when her husband was dying of cancer. She had Alzheimer’s. It was difficult to find a decent place she could afford. I had to place her a hour away but we went weekly.

 

[imoldernu]

CCRC Actual Costs

It occurred to me that though we talk about how much it costs to live in a CCRC, the discussion usually ends up in in talking generalities, like $xxx thousand dollars a year. Not a good way to plan, either for oneself or for an aging relative. FWIW, here's the current rate schedule for our CCRC.

Note that the fees include two major meals/day, all transportation, activities, TV and internet, and all utilities except telephone. You may extrapolate the annual costs based on the type of of care, and the kind of room.

This is meant only as a guideline, and is likely in the lower end of the costs.

 

[imoldernu]

Just a little bit more. Noted here to give a better overview of the kinds of services that are available in each part of the CCRC system. In short, a list of services that may, or may not be offered. Something to use as a comparison.
In particular, one of the important parts of any retirement community is the available medical services. Registered nurses and nursing assistants are a very, very important part of any community serving the elderly.
.......................................................................................................

Estates Independent Living:
The Estates offers:Community Living
Month-to-Month Rental
Two Delicious Buffet Meals Served Daily
Weekly Housekeeping
Paid Utilities (excluding phone)
Complete Building & Grounds Maintenance
Free Membership to AJ’s Fitness Center
Complimentary Wireless Internet and Television service
Full access to all activities.
...............................................
Hawthorne Assisted Living:
Spacious Private or Companion Suites
Private Bath Rooms & Showers
Three Meals Served Restaurant Style
Daily Housekeeping and Linen Service
All Utilities Except Phone
Recreational and Social Activities
Scheduled Group Transportation
Personalized Care
Certified Nursing Staff
Medication Assistance
Free Membership to AJ’s Fitness Center
Complimentary Wireless Internet and Television
...............................................
Manor Court Nursing Home:
Private or Companion Suites
Social and Recreational Activities
Delicious Home Cooked Meals Served Restaurant Style
Call System
Bounce Back Rehabilitation Program
Geriatric Nutritional Program
Respite Care
Hospice Care
Medical Director
Free Membership to AJ’s Fitness Center
Complimentary Wireless Internet and Television services

National averages here:
https://www.genworth.com/aging-and-you/finances/cost-of-care.html

 

[nhcycling]

Boston area rates FYI, recently researched and validated.

Assisted living for Dementia care ~$325 daily

Semi private room at skilled nursing facility ~$385 day

Private room at skilled nursing facility ~$425 daily

 

[street]

At 94 my aunt lives alone in her own apartment. My mom did the same. Hope I am that lucky.

I hope you did got those genes. That is great!

I hope you didn't take SS early or you will run out of money. LOL Anyway that is what some are saying.

 

[Teacher Terry]

Due to WEP our SS will be about 300 month before deductions at full retirement age. I have a year and half to go. My mom and aunt eat a lot healthier than I do.

 

[street]

Due to WEP our SS will be about 300 month before deductions at full retirement age. I have a year and half to go. My mom and aunt eat a lot healthier than I do.

I still wish you well.

 

[Teacher Terry]

Thanks street)