Tough times for some people

[Westernskies]

... why aren't we out there helping where it is needed?

Who says we aren't?

 

[DangerMouse]

It's a general question, I don't know if you are or aren't, however I do know that I am not and it's making me question why I am not. If I feel sorry for people like these, and I know some things that could be done to help them, why aren't I getting involved?

 

[NW-Bound]

Talk is cheap, it's easy to preach on the internet, we can blather on all we want, but with the skills we all must have if we have been able to achieve our FIRE goals, why aren't we out there helping where it is needed?

Because I am selfish and want all my time to myself?

Seriously, it is tough to help people. The gamboholic uncle I described is my mother's younger brother. She scolded him all the time to no avail, and eventually learned not to lend him money. I will not elaborate on another uncle who died a drug addict.

I cannot talk for anyone else but myself here. I have two children, and I spend much time nurturing them to make sure they will turn out OK. So far so good, but it is by no means certain. It was frustrated at times when they were growing up. If I had this much trouble with my own children that I raised, how do I have the knowledge and patience to help strangers? It is beyond me!

 

[bbbamI]

It's a general question, I don't know if you are or aren't, however I do know that I am not and it's making me question why I am not. If I feel sorry for people like these, and I know some things that could be done to help them, why aren't I getting involved?

It's a complicated issue if you try to go out and do it on your own. But like a forum member said, he gives to charities that are able to screen and help people.

Examine your local charities/help centers...find out exactly what they do. I volunteered at a marvelous help center for five years. You can make a difference by supporting an agency with your time or money.

 

[ERD50]

Seriously, it is tough to help people.

Yep. I feel guilty that I don't do much more than pay taxes and make $ contributions to some charities (it ain't much but it puts Joe Biden to shame). DW does much more volunteer work, and I do whatever I can to support her in that. But we both agree that I don't have the temperament for much of it. I just couldn't be dishing out a meal for someone - I would have to ask "what is keeping you from taking care of yourself? What do you need to get control of your life?". But the volunteers are there to dish out meals. It's important, but it would be frustrating for me.

I recall thinking about hiring some homeless people to do stuff around the house - but with a family you need to think about their safety. Many of the homeless are in that position because they have issues, and some (probably a very small) % may be a danger to your family. I just would not take that chance.

Soon after I retired, I did take the time to get with some family members to work out some serious problems. One was causing grief for the rest of the family, and the other was an enabler. Finally, the enabler started talking about counseling, so I jumped in to support that and said I would attend and try to mediate with both parties. Long story short - many, many hours invested, many sleepless nights, long phone calls, long meetings, frustration... and nothing changed. Not a doggone thing. I should have been weeding the gardens.

I believe in an ounce of prevention. You just can't "fix" many of these things after the fact. I guess that is why I get so frustrated at the govt programs that try to throw money at problems. Sorry, it ain't gonna work. Get to the root causes. But that isn't popular, it isn't "feel good" I guess.

-ERD50

 

[NW-Bound]

On the subject of financial mentoring, it has been discussed here as I just found out.

http://www.early-retirement.org/forums/f27/do-you-financially-mentor-27584.html

 

[citrine]

There are so many options out there for people who are receiving unemployment.....all they have to do is go down to the center, sign up for learning new skills, receiving financial mentoring, get money for college, help with paying their rent/utilities/food.
I didn't get the feeling that this couple had that go get'em attitude....it seems as if they want someone to come to the door and hand them the perfect job.
I know that each situation is different and that life happens, but one has to research every avenue and want to do better.....you cannot instill that chutzpah is someone who does not have it.
Also, they know that they will have a place to go to....they don't seem that concerned about finding a job.
BTW, I would do anything in my power to not end up in my parents' plush over 50 pad....I cannot even fathom a dark basement with kitty litter!

 

[harley]

Have a few drinks does not make one an alcoholic, however I would agree if he was drinking this much for years it is a habit that needs to be broken. However, based on the alcohol he is now consuming the question is why?

Here's a perfect example of poor decision making. He's sitting in the bar drinking Bud Lights (4.25 alcohol content), 8 of 'em. If he had any sense at all, he could be drinking Miller High Life(5.5), or even one of the Ice beers (5.5+), for probably the same price. 6 would easily get him as drunk as the 8 Lites. If he was truly interested in financial issues he could get a 6-pack of high alcohol content beer for $5-$6, and drink it in the parking lot. Then go in and drink one beer with the guys.

 

[Sarah in SC]

See, Harley, the difference between a thinking, drinking man, and just a drinking man!

I don't think these folks can be "fixed", but I wonder about those kids. We aren't doing much in the schools to teach financial topics, or nutrition, or a whole bunch of other things that they could benefit from knowing.

Ambition and goal setting can't really be taught, unfortunately.

 

[NW-Bound]

I have a long-time buddy who likes light beer. I don't drink much anymore, but I prefer my ethanol to be a bit more concentrated. It costs less that way too. Distilled, it takes less room for storage and in your tummy. All the advantages...

 

[Sarah in SC]

We can get high gravity beers (over 10%) now in SC. Talk about a 2 beer high! Whew! The Flying Dog ones are good, but dangerous.

 

[freebird5825]

See, Harley, the difference between a thinking, drinking man, and just a drinking man!

I don't think these folks can be "fixed", but I wonder about those kids. We aren't doing much in the schools to teach financial topics, or nutrition, or a whole bunch of other things that they could benefit from knowing.

Ambition and goal setting can't really be taught, unfortunately.

I just thumbed through the latest BOCES* course brochure and saw 2 distinct handling money and financial courses.
I almost fainted! So maybe some adults and teenagers are being reached.

*BOCES is vocational and trade oriented classroom training for both high school and adult education. Classes are separated by age groups.

 

[ERD50]

We can get high gravity beers (over 10%) now in SC. Talk about a 2 beer high! Whew! The Flying Dog ones are good, but dangerous.

I was in SC earlier this year. Our hosts told us that the laws had just been changed so I could buy beers I was used to buying in IL. Seems crazy that you can buy wine, spirits, but beer >10% was Verbotten.

Yes, the strong beers are definitely for slow sipping enjoyment when no driving is planned, but can be amazingly complex.

Another thing to add to my list of checks for possible future retirement locales:

1) Local liquor laws (it is still illegal to home brew beer in some states). Pres Carter eliminated the Federal ban, but states can be more restrictive.

2) Rent controls (price fixing never 'works').

3) Heat & humidity.

-ERD50

 

[Rustic23]

ERD
Seems like your number 3 should be 'Weather'. While Heat & Humidity is a problem now, when the snow begins to fall up north, and I am sipping Margaritas on the deck, it seems like a real good trade off.

 

[ERD50]

ERD
Seems like your number 3 should be 'Weather'. While Heat & Humidity is a problem now, when the snow begins to fall up north, and I am sipping Margaritas on the deck, it seems like a real good trade off.

Nope, that is my personal list. I'll take (and I do) some winter weather over prolonged heat & humidity. I'm glad some people enjoy those areas, or it would be too crowded up here.

Just my (strong) personal preference. I *really* hate heat and humidity. It just saps the life out of me. Cold weather is "brisk", and makes me feel alive. Sure, I can get tired of it by Feb or March. A week in a warmer place can be nice then.

-ERD50

 

[Rustic23]

Fair enough, that's why they make chocolate and vanilla ice cream.

 

[FUEGO]

1) Local liquor laws (it is still illegal to home brew beer in some states). Pres Carter eliminated the Federal ban, but states can be more restrictive.

Liquor laws have to be one of the strangest and most disjointed areas of regulation. Our state restricts liquor sales to the state commissioned stores (operated by each county). But beer/wine can be bought in grocery stores. Liquor can only be sold Mon-Sat, not on Sunday. Beer/wine can be bought anytime except Sundays before noon (spoda be in church LOL ).

Even purchasing liquor can be a trying experience. After a Saturday afternoon stroll with my wife and our young children, we needed to stop by the liquor store to pick up a couple of bottles of liquor (which turned into 6 bottles of liquor). A big sign on the door says no one under 21 allowed. Then a tiny writing underneath that says "children 17 and under allowed in with accompaniment of their guardian or parent". So anyone age 18-20 are completely barred from entering the store even if their parents are present, but 17 year olds can go in anytime a parent is with them. After reading this set of regulations we finally determined we could bring our 2 year old and 4 year old into the store to do our shopping.

I don't get what these regulations are trying to protect against. Are parents not competent to determine whether they allow their children to enter the store with them?

/rant off

Immediately upon entering the ABC store (the name of our liquor stores), my 4 year old immediately noted a complete absence of any ABC's in here.

 

[haha]

I don't get what these regulations are trying to protect against. Are parents not competent to determine whether they allow their children to enter the store with them?

Wait until your children are in school. You'll find out that there are many areas where the state feels that parents are incompetent- at least when compared to the state.

Incidentally, I think ABC is "Alcoholic Beverage Commission".

Ha

 

[freebird5825]

In my state, nobody under 21 is allowed in a state licensed liquor/wine store.
That might also be a safety protection with respect to any age children in close proximity to all those glass bottles.
Beer is sold in grocery and convenience stores only. Age limit was 18 for many years, but is now 21.
Stores have signs stating they will proof if you "look under 40". Some do 100% proofing.
I stick with NA beer (<5% alcohol) these days. Yes, I got proofed.
That made my day.

 

[FUEGO]

Wait until your children are in school. You'll find out that there are many areas where the state feels that parents are incompetent- at least when compared to the state.

Those other parents need some help in raising their children correctly, just don't interfere with how I raise my youngins!

I like the ABC store for teaching children consumer math lessons. Look, there's the top shelf imported stuff for $45 for a 750 ml. Here's domestic top shelf stuff that is $6 for a 375 ml. Which one should daddy buy?

 

[Sarah in SC]

Daddy should buy the Mad Dog 20/20, it is all about quantity over quality! At least that is what I learned about ABC stores in high school.

 

[Bestwifeever]

I don't know what's cuter in the liquor store--small children playing in the Scotch section or underage drinkers trying to score some brewski. Both are just adorable.

 

[beowulf]

In Virginia there seems to be a movement to proof everyone everywhere if they buy alcohol. A guy in front of me at the supermarket was buying wine and they proofed him - he was 80 years old. My wife still loves being asked to prove she is over 21 .

 

[NW-Bound]

So, to summarize the recent posts, a savvy LBYM ER wannabe should

1) When in tough times (see this thread title), buy your booze not by the least dollar-per-quart, but rather to maximize the oz. of ethanol per dollar (anyone who knows a source for moonshine, please PM me).

2) Heck, even when not in tough times, it is still smart to follow rule 1 above.

3) If having offsprings, one should always look for occasions to indoctrinate Junior with the LBYM way of life, including booze purchase time. Even make that a quality family time. Turn it into an entertainment outing too, by observing other patrons. Who needs to go to the theaters for recreation?

4) Bring the Missus along and let her pay. The ID check would make her feel good, boost her self-esteem for zero cost. She would forget about the amount that she had to pay, and would not nag you. Everybody wins.

Did I miss anything?

 

[freebird5825]

So, to summarize the recent posts, a savvy LBYM ER wannabe should

1) When in tough times (see this thread title), buy your booze not by the least dollar-per-quart, but rather to maximize the oz. of ethanol per dollar (anyone who knows a source for moonshine, please PM me).

2) Heck, even when not in tough times, it is still smart to follow rule 1 above.

3) If having offsprings, one should always look for occasions to indoctrinate Junior with the LBYM way of life, including booze purchase time. Even make that a quality family time. Turn it into an entertainment outing too, by observing other patrons. Who needs to go to the theaters for recreation?

4) Bring the Missus along and let her pay. The ID check would make her feel good, boost her self-esteem for zero cost. She would forget about the amount that she had to pay, and would not nag you. Everybody wins.

Did I miss anything?

Be sure to Velcro all glass bottles to the shelves.

TY for a great belly laugh.