Who Are Your Friends?

[Lewis Clark]

... I'll never be remembered for how many dollars I have, but be remembered how I made a difference in someone's life.

Very well said. This is something I wish more people would work towards.

 

[iloveyoga]

I am still close with quite of few of my school friends. Most are retired now so it has been very fun. I have also reconnected with some classmates. I have a few good friends from my old work days, we get together and have traveled together.

I am very close to my Mom and two sisters so that fills a lot of my friendship needs. It is not so easy to make new friends, but I have at least two in recent years, met through another friend. Sadly, I have also had one very good friend break up that still bothers me (long story).

Lastly, I have what I call yoga friends, these are more casual in nature, but fun to see at yoga class.

Great question, made me think.

 

[Toast]

I have many acquaintances and colleagues with whom I get along well. That said, my husband and I have been best friends since childhood. This fact has made it difficult for either of us to form deep friendships with other people. The reality is that there is literally not an activity that I wouldn’t prefer to do with my husband over someone else whether that be sports, concerts, movies, museums, travel, going to the gym, or grabbing lunch. We have such a wonderful relationship. However, it’s scary to think about what my life would be like if something happened to him.

 

[Car-Guy]

I only have a handful that I call friends these days. Most have "departed" or just drifted away. One from my school days and a couple from my car hobby days still around. Married my best friend ~47 years ago.

 

[Cotty]

I left the Midwest in the 60's when family moved due to my father's work, so I have childhood friends there that I have known since elementary school and I see any of them whenever I visit my daughter. All are retired from something, but all over the map on socioeconomic spectrum and some married more than once and some looking at fifty year anniversaries in the rear view mirror. Try to make the annual holiday party each year and couple times a year have dinner with smaller group where we discuss everything we can think of that bothers any of us. Very enjoyable. In CA, have friends I met in high school when I got there and monthly see a small group of them for lunch at same carnitas place that we've shared for decades. Same thing - some retired rich/early and some just quit working when they got old. Same thing when we see each other - open season on all topics. I'm lucky.

 

[Dreamer]

I have one friend, whom I have known since 7th grade. We lived together for a short time after high school and worked at the same place. She is my sister's sister-in-law.

I have another friend that I met when our sons met in third grade (1986) and we became friends. We have traveled to Hawaii, Alaska, NY, New England and a few other places. She is president of a women's club and I am vice-president. Through her encouraging me to join, I have met many other women. Five of us from the club meet and play Rummikub throughout the year. We also do "Just Because" trips to different places to learn about different things or go hiking. We go to fall conferences where we meet with women around our state and stay 3-4 days attending lectures, dance classes or healthy cooking classes.

I also have my retired coworkers that I worked with for twenty something years. Several of us used to go on cruises together. Sadly, one just passed. One is 10 yrs older than me and her spouse is having health problems and she can't leave him. Another is 12 yrs older and has the same problem with her spouse.

We are the same race, except for one of my cruising buddies. Several of us are from different religions. I don't really know how much money any of them have. I know that several are comfortable, the same as us. There are probably a few that have to watch what they spend. One friend is 82 and is still working, but she has way more energy than I do at 70. She is amazing. She was running marathons at 65, works outside in her large yard and her house is always cleaner than mine.

 

[Teacher Terry]

As an adult I have lived in 5 states so have gotten good at making new friends. I always keep in touch with some of the old ones. Many of my friends have died but I have made new ones along the way.

Like Winemaker I won’t be remembered for my money but I have went above and beyond helping others throughout my life sometimes for years. After my last divorce 3 years ago having supportive friends and family was priceless. My friendships vary wildly in all aspects so no common denominator.

 

[Rianne]

Very few friends that I trust will give me honest advice and opinions. It seems acquaintances and even family members skirt around the depth of honest conversation. Although I have many acquaintances that I enjoy being around for lighter socializing. That's a benefit of getting older.

 

[rk911]

lots of aquaintences, fewer friends. Friend = someone who would come to your aid at 3am on Christmas day. Some are people I worked with, others share common interests. All are getting old-er.

 

[Gumby]

I definitely can commiserate. Old Man was "Lifer"- - first theatre was "European Theatre" (yeah, THAT one) but he was at one of the Kent air bases and his last "in country" was Nam, where he lost his barracks in a mortar attack on Tet.
From third through seventh grade.... I was in 8 different schools !! (... and any pre-school would have been overseas (another one), but I can't remember it). Most moves were ~1000 to over 2000 miles, so no keeping track of anybody. Generally, "locals" tended not to spend time with the "military brats" since we'd be sent off fairly soon, so they figured "why bother". I looked on G@@g£€ maps and not one location from my past from before the eighties still exists!! all either brownfielded (could still see outlines of "what was") or demolished and replaced. (and we even avoided a different overseas deployment, which would have added another). {as "brats", for the one location we even had "dog tags" issued... still have them}
As for the question "where are you from?"... I say that it could take awhile to explain

I've not relocated nearly as much since undergrad/grad school but did a few times; most can't come close to understanding our much different experience.

I hear you. My father was in the Navy until I was a senior in high school. In my 12 years of public schooling, I went to 11 different schools in 8 different states. My record was three different schools in the same year (2d grade). And I was often out of school entirely for extended periods. Then, immediately after I graduated from high school, I joined the Navy myself and moved all over creation. By the time we moved into our current house, I was 33 years old and it was the 32nd place I had lived. That was 32 years ago. I can foresee a maximum of one more move in my life. My friend of longest standing is my roommate from the U.S. Naval Academy, whom I first met in July 1977.

 

[livingalmostlarge]

kid's parents that have drilled down into a couple of families we travel and socialize with a lot. Likely will after the kids leave. But lots of "acquaintances" of other kids parents

 

[Bigdawg]

Best friend from kindergarten lived across the street. He was the pitcher I was the first baseman. He was the quarterback I was the WR. He was the point guard I was the center. Played in mutiple state finals for hoops. Only see him about once per year now that we are on different coasts. Most other friends are combat buddies. That bond is special. DW is my current BF after 31 year wearing rings(she is USMC combat vet also). Amazing how combat vets (especially USMC) bond instantly. Heading to Spain in 11 days to meet a Brit infantry officer I met in Basra in 2008. Vacation with them regularly.

 

[sengsational]

When I travel and see some college buddies on an adventure, I make it a point to say "keep it going at all costs." I've told them to put the buddies trip into the marriage vows so your annual adventure is a given.

 

[Morricol61]

Having moved a lot during school years and in adulthood I tend to befriend people quickly and have formed friends through shared workplaces, hobbies and a lot of our neighbors have become long lasting friends. I see a trend with us having similar likes and dislikes but I find most people I have formed friendships with are an interesting and varied lot. Different nationalities, different races and different ages, different religions and political preferences. People are usually very interesting if you take the time to get to know them.

Two years ago we had a very active friendship group and we visited each other's homes and enjoyed meals and coffee in one another's homes and in restaurants, cafe's and even a few picnics and BBQs. Sadly over a short space of time we've lost all of our closest friends through either death, dementia or they've moved away. We still have good friends that we see occasionally when either of us is visiting the state that they live in and we write (snail mail) regularly with one couple that we see annually and try to holiday with, but sadly for us no friends left who live in our town.

Day to day it gets lonely but there is always someone I can phone for a lovely long chat, but I wish we had good friends to socialize with locally. We are friendly with most of our neighbors but no one we just hang out with or could pop in on just for a cuppa.

I can't remember the people I went to school with either but I do remember every dog I have ever owned. They are the best and noblest friends you can have.

 

[Music Lover]

When I travel and see some college buddies on an adventure, I make it a point to say "keep it going at all costs." I've told them to put the buddies trip into the marriage vows so your annual adventure is a given.

My wife still goes on an annual long weekend trip with 3 gals she met in school. She's also been playing on the same slo-pitch team for 35 years and is friends with some of them, getting together outside of the ball season. One of the couples is coming over for supper tomorrow evening. I golf regularly with the husband.

I'm in a band with 2 guys I met over 40 years ago, we were friends first then started a band and it's been going ever since. I also joined another band 13-14 years ago, other than musical compatibility I wanted it to have people that I could hang out with outside of rehearsals and gigs. We ended up buying the cabin next to the guitarist and we're also good friends with the drummer and his wife.

I'm still friends with a few people I used to work with, not super close but 8 years into retirement and we still get together every 6 or 8 weeks.

 

[ElizabethT]

Lots of friends, most of who are physically active as are we. More aligned politically than not, which while not a frequent topic of conversation, does define much of our individual personal belief systems. Economically similar, which again defines many of our individual lifestyle choices, making them more similar than if we were far apart financially.

Most of our friendships are based on the ability to have discussions on a variety of diverse topics that are almost always nuanced rather than right/wrong.

Love, value, treasure our friends and the time we spend together.

 

[Winemaker]

DW still goes out to lunch every other month with her college room mates.

Her childhood neighbor and best friend get together every few months and visit their "adult" neighbor from when they were kids. The "adult " neighbor was friends with DW and friend parents while growing up. The 93yo "adult" neighbor lost his son to cancer about 15 years ago, then he lost his wife. The late son's wife moved in with him afterward, but then she died about 3 three years ago. So he has lived in his big house by himself until a few weeks ago; he's decided to go to one of them "apartment places for seniors". DW and her friend are going down right after he moves in. He still has his wits about him, actually had a knee replaced last year and DW and friend looked after him then. There's a daughter out there somewhere but has never been brought up in conversation.

 

[Dash man]

I’ve also moved around a lot in my life and drifted away from friends. I keep in touch with a few work friends that are scattered around the country. One childhood friend used to keep in touch, but hasn’t responded recently. I know he was in financial trouble and divorced. These days family are my friends, especially my wife’s family. We have good people at our church I know I can count on if I needed them. I’m an introvert, so many casual acquaintances, but my only close friends are family.

 

[kgtest]

My best man, he is definitely not in the same socioclass and I don't know why we chose to be friends but I was young. I have a couple of friends who grew up in my neighborhood that I see occasionally but my friend group changed as I made my way into High School and then College and of course expanded as I entered the business world and I myself built businesses.

I have friends all across the US and its really great. A friend to me would be someone who makes time for you as you pop into their host city. If they can't find or make time for you as you come, then probably not a "great" friend.

I can make "friends" a lot easier than DW. She has no interest in truly expanding her circle of small friends, and my sphere of friends is almost insane. I remember one time I was in California in the Hurst Castle, doing a tour through his house and a little kid had set off some sort of rug alarm in the home. I sort of laughed out loud at the kids rambunxiousness and his dad looked up and called my name. We are from the midwest and he went to the same high school as me (A grade senior to me). This was probably 12 years after we had graduated high school. I actually still don't know who he was, but he knew me as he called the high school we went to and we got to chatting a little.

I am a friendly person. I do sometimes rub people wrong, but not very often.

I know that there are quite a few people who told me I am one of their best friends, if not their best friend. It is good to have a best friend, and be a best friend. That brings me joy.

My thoughts on friendship. I just met with an old co-worker from a job 12 years ago. We are still friends and grabbed lunch to catch up on family and work. Both of us has helped each other out doing odd things like borrowing a truck or lending a hand a few times. I mainly tend to go to sporting events with that friend. I have other friends I go to concerts with etc.

So it might depend on the activity or location as to how my friendships engage.

 

[badatmath]

Only within the last couple have weeks have I realized I have never once initiated a friendship. People came to me or not as they wished and I accepted or not. I kind of feel like I should actively try to make a new friend to see how it works but IDK. . .

 

[dandan14]

My ROMEO group (varied ages and backgrounds, some multi millionaires, some worked everyday jobs). Known most for 30 years.

Ha, I had to google it. Retired Old Men Eating Out! (I may not qualify officially -- but I could show an AARP card if that gets me in!) haha
It doesn't look like there is a group in my area, but I've slowly built up a Friday morning coffee crew. I look forward to that.
I've also met a lot of people through Rotary -- good folks, but not lifelong friends yet.

 

[Koolau]

I'm losing so many of my "old" friends, it's hard to count them. Most "new" friends are from Church. We're not terribly social, but when we are, we tend toward folks we know well because we have contact with them in settings of our choosing (like Church.) Of all the "w*rk" friends I had, only two were "life long" and BFF passed last year. He was from Megacorp like I was. YMMV

 

[Katsmeow]

I have 2 friends really. Once was my best friend in high school. We lost contact after she got married and I finished school and lived 250 miles from her (this was back when long distance cost money). Then many years later we reconnected but I was in the middle of raising kids by then. She was just finishing. About 15 years after that we reconnected again and I actually moved from 250 miles away to only a few miles from her (that was a bonus, not the reason for the move). During the next 5 years we would spend one afternoon a week together and had lunch and would just talk.

Then we moved 1500 miles away. I still have the one afternoon with her by phone.

The other friend was someone I became friends with playing bridge 35 years ago. When I "retired" from bridge after kids she and I drifted apart but we reconnected a few years ago. We still live far apart now but every couple of months we have a long phone conversation.

DH doesn't really have friends other than me. Back in the day he and I used to play bridge several times a week (it is how we met) and we were friendly with lots of people we knew from bridge. Now that we are settled in after our move we plan to restart that. I don't expect to find close friends from it but some acquaintances that it will be pleasant to be around.

DH and I are fairly introverted and really see ourselves as best friends to the other. It is hard to find people that are compatible. These things often get derailed by religion (not important to us but it is to many) and politics (which I won't get into here). So it isn't that easy always to find someone compatible. Socioeconomic stuff isn't really a factor though.

 

[Surewhitey]

Early on, parents of DD's friends and church friends (usually the same).

After DD married, we've moved around and always take a few from each place.

Now, DD, 2 DGK's & her in laws and the great long time friends of the past 25 years. Best of friends, maybe 10-15 (ones we'd vacation with).

Socioeconomics never was a factor other than we generally lived near them. LA friends were more well of, Mexico friends were not so much, TX friends in the middle.

 

[DrRoy]

I have few friends besides DW. The few are all people that I share a strong interest with.