"World-class colonoscopy"

[Lazarus]

When I was being prepped for my colonoscopy I was in a room with beds separated by curtains. The nurse began setting up the port for my IV. He very efficiently inserted the needle and taped it down. I could tell he was very experienced and efficient at it.

I said, “ You must have been doing this for a while.”

He said, “ No, I just got out of prison yesterday.”

I playing along said, “ Did you learn your needle skills giving each other tattoos?”

He said, “No, pretty much learned it from using the shiv.”

I said, “ Did you make your own or out source it?”

He said, “ You have to make your own, it’s a matter of pride.”

He then finished up and opened the curtain so he could move on to the next patient. I looked over and saw a middle aged woman with a horrified look on her face that he was starting on.

He said to her, “I didn’t hurt Lazarus he didn’t make a sound.”

I said, “ That’s cause he gave me a stick to bite down on.”

 

[Meadbh]

The real question is: Does Nords have a world class colon?

 

[Achiever51]

Long ago, I had a job as a clerical in a medical office that scheduled executive physicals for key management personnel at local Megacorps. Part of my job required me to call these CEOs, CFOs, and other C-level execs and remind them of the prep steps prior to their physicals...and as a 20-something, I was slightly embarrassed to have to tell them about the prep for their sigmoidscopy exams (ie, purchase 2 Fleet enemas and follow directions in the morning before heading to the hospital.)

Most of my "guys" were good natured about my call, but I remember one self-important jerk who actually berated me on the phone, sarcastically pointing out that he didn't need some clerk telling him what to do.

Imagine my delight when I got the call from my hospital contact the next morning who could hardly stop laughing about the jerk who inserted two Fleet enemas ... And drove to the hospital without um, leaving them at home. I can still recall the description of the jerk "waddling up the hallway as fast as he could, demanding to get to a restroom NOW!!". He um, had a major leakage event before he got to the door. Priceless!

By the way, I've had my colonoscopy and I concur with all the comments before. No big deal.

 

[dfdski]

Long ago, I had a job as a clerical in a medical office that scheduled executive physicals for key management personnel at local Megacorps. Part of my job required me to call these CEOs, CFOs, and other C-level execs and remind them of the prep steps prior to their physicals...and as a 20-something, I was slightly embarrassed to have to tell them about the prep for their sigmoidscopy exams (ie, purchase 2 Fleet enemas and follow directions in the morning before heading to the hospital.)

Most of my "guys" were good natured about my call, but I remember one self-important jerk who actually berated me on the phone, sarcastically pointing out that he didn't need some clerk telling him what to do.

Imagine my delight when I got the call from my hospital contact the next morning who could hardly stop laughing about the jerk who inserted two Fleet enemas ... And drove to the hospital without um, leaving them at home. I can still recall the description of the jerk "waddling up the hallway as fast as he could, demanding to get to a restroom NOW!!". He um, had a major leakage event before he got to the door. Priceless!

By the way, I've had my colonoscopy and I concur with all the comments before. No big deal.

+1

The stories I could tell you working in IT about self-important know-it-alls. But that'd be hijacking things. Suffice to say, there's a bit of difference between "\" and "BACKSLASH".

Nords, good luck. And come 2012 I'll be sure to keep post an update here!

 

[73ss454]

We are talking about colonoscopy right? I know lots of women who think men are walking colons but ladies have them too

In some cases the ladies are correct.

 

[Nords]

The real question is: Does Nords have a world class colon?

I'm not so sure about that, but some have concluded it must be a big one...

 

[Lazarus]

Nords you never know whats in there.

Colonoscopy Reveals Huge Worm - NothingToxic.com

 

[harley]

Some things are better not posted.

 

[RonBoyd]

Your profile picture goes so well with your Ooops!

Yeah. It does. (I anticipated this situation.)

 

[lovinglife1]

Wow!....Yes,...R..E..L..A..X....It is a very simple procedure. I had mine done in Bumrungrad, an exceptional hospital. The prep is drinking a concoction 24 hours before that flushes your system. You use the toilet every few hours until your stool is clear in color. The procedure took about 30 minutes and he showed me the DVD his computer screen. There was one suspicious sore that he clipped for a biopsy...Nothing serious. I have no issues getting one done....much preferable to a root canal, I assure you....

Just do it! It may save your life.

 

[Orchidflower]

I had one while awake and another time they knocked me out. Still had to drink the prep both times regardless, tho. It definitely is not painful; and the biggest deal is getting that prep down without throwing it back up (trust me on that one), which I understand happens more often than I realized according to the nurses.

 

[MikeD]

I had one 6 years ago and am due for another. I asked to be unconscious for the event and my Dr complied. Cannot remember a thing. Felt nothing during or after. The drinking a gallon of liquid was annoying but not horrible. Lost a day of being able to leave the house on that but I rarely go anywhere so not a big deal.

I vaguely remember (imagine that!) something about kidney failure and the pill-prep method. I am a kidney transplant so they made sure to give me the all liquid prep. It was something about the pills method wasn't allowed if you had kidney disease.

Overall, it's not a big deal.

Mike D.

 

[F4mandolin]

Well, we will see I guess. Living in the UK and had to go private to arrange things. My local GP (who was young by the way...and a bicycle fiend)just kind of smiled and said "you Americans.....kind of crazy about this stuff aren't you?". I will likely follow through with things and have the meeting with the doc at BMI/Duchy on Tuesday. Just want it over with.....the procedure doesn't really bother me I guess.....just hate to be bothered with all the hassle of DOING it.

 

[GregLee]

I asked to be unconscious for the event and my Dr complied. Cannot remember a thing.

Not remembering is not quite the same as being unconscious. A popular anaesthetic for colonoscopies does not render you unconscious, but does block recollection. I've had 4 colonoscopies, and I don't remember a thing. Was I unconscious? I can't recall.

 

[GregLee]

... and the biggest deal is getting that prep down without throwing it back up (trust me on that one), ...

For my first colonoscopy, I used Fleet's Phospho-Soda (I might not have that name exactly right). It was disgusting. (But not everyone dislikes it.) I asked to change to pills -- OsmoPrep, for me -- which I've used twice. I don't mind the pills that much. I'm up for another colonoscopy Nov. 1 (2010), and I expect to ask my gastroenterologist for OsmoPrep again.

By the way, in case the original poster from Oahu is still reading this, I'll recommend my gastroenterologist, Dr. Jao, who works out of Castle Medical Center (near Kailua).

 

[Rich_by_the_Bay]

Not remembering is not quite the same as being unconscious. A popular anaesthetic for colonoscopies does not render you unconscious, but does block recollection. I've had 4 colonoscopies, and I don't remember a thing. Was I unconscious? I can't recall.

Quite right. With conscious sedation you can even have a patient comply with commands but it induces "retrograde amnesia" reaching back from recovery to the time it was administered.

 

[happy2bretired]

Look the anesthetist in the eye and say "I don't want to feel this."

I wish I had done that the last time (about 3 months ago). This is the first time that they seemed more interested in my "allergy" to Demerol for some reason. I don't know what they did this last time (I've had 3-4 colonoscopies now) but they must not have used the same med or less of it. I could feel...and it wasn't a good feel. I was more awake and aware than I've ever been - still hazy but aware. All the other times, no problem.

 

[Nords]

By the way, in case the original poster from Oahu is still reading this, I'll recommend my gastroenterologist, Dr. Jao, who works out of Castle Medical Center (near Kailua).

Thanks-- and welcome to the board!

I'll probably end up with someone near Wahiawa. Especially since spouse probably won't want to drive "all the way" to Kailua for an early-morning start...

 

[RonBoyd]

Quite right. With conscious sedation you can even have a patient comply with commands but it induces "retrograde amnesia" reaching back from recovery to the time it was administered.

Interesting. When I had a TEE (TransEsophaegia asomething), I was asked by the Nurse after it was over, as they wheeled me back to recovery, if I had been awake during the procedure. I told her that I was and although it wasn't painful or anything, I would not want to go through it again. She looked at me with surprise on her face -- quite surprised acutually -- and asked what I remembered specifically. And... although when she asked, I had a vivid memory, it was like I awoke from a dream and could not remember anything with any accuracy. Nor could I explain it to her. In fairness, it was another 30 minutes before I was able to be escorted to the car for the ride home -- I don't believe I could have walked to the car without someone putting their arm under mine.

In any event, I do not want another TEE -- ever -- and the only reason I can think of is I remember it subconciously.

 

[Rustic23]

Drive 'all the way', that gave me a chuckle. I always wonder which states the interstate connected there.

 

[samclem]

I'll probably end up with someone near Wahiawa.

C'mon, go to Tripler!

"We ain't got all day, there's other Joes waitin'. Roll over and smile. Anesthetics is for babies. NEXT"

 

[Nords]

Drive 'all the way', that gave me a chuckle. I always wonder which states the interstate connected there.

It's all about the federal funding, and H-3 was over a b-b-b-billion dollars a mile... going up there means I'd use all three of our interstate highways.

C'mon, go to Tripler!
"We ain't got all day, there's other Joes waitin'. Roll over and smile. Anesthetics is for babies. NEXT"

Hey, I'm not driving "all the way" to Tripler, either, if I can avoid it. Although we only have to go on two interstates for that one.

To be fair, I was treated well there for an MRI a couple years ago. Unfortunately the appointment was for 2:30... as in 0230. However the parking was very good. Today they actually have valet parking service.

We avoid Tripler for another reason. I'm sure their OB/GYN department has improved in the last 18 years, and they seem to have forgotten my name by now, but both spouse and I still have occasional bad dreams about the experience. When spouse went into labor at ~11 PM 30 Oct (three days "early") and we unexpectedly showed up at their desk, they'd lost the "pre-admission" paperwork we'd filled out a month ago. While I was fixing that, they admitted that they had four other women in labor at the moment and actually asked spouse to "hold on" for a few minutes so that they could call in additional staff to assist with the customer overload. Spouse lost a lot of momentum, so to speak, and ended up being in labor for over nine hours before she got back onto the glide slope. On Hallowe'en. With the staff wearing costumes. It was like Freddy Kreuger doing Friday the 13th in there, only most of the props were real.

By the time the blessed event had occurred I was not going to leave either of my family alone in the ward with those people until we were all released, and I spent the next three days catnapping the submariner lifestyle on one of the couches in the lounge. They couldn't understand why anyone would live that way and kept trying to shoo me outta there. I got a little forceful with one of the doctors. By the time I found out she was a colonel I no longer cared, and I pointed out that if she carried out her threats then she'd feel pretty silly having to listen to me repeat my words at a UCMJ inquiry.

By that time she decided we were all ready to go home.

But my civilian clinic will probably have to route their referral through Tripler for them to pick somebody else... or, gosh, maybe "first thing in the morning" will turn out to be 0030!

 

[ItDontMeanAThing]

It's a simple and routine procedure, don't worry about it. The day spent drinking and spewing the liquid is the worst part.

 

[F4mandolin]

OK....wasn't worried before....might still not be but..... arranged to go in this Monday for the colonoscopy. They have me eating no fiber 3 days before and then I only have to drink two sachets of Picolax (morning+afternoon) on Sunday...just goes into one cup of cold water I think(with plenty of water). They even said I could eat Sunday morning up to noon. They seemed to be more worried about my not eating fiber and just sticking to blah things like white bread.

 

[ronocnikral]

a guy i w*rked with told me, "i've had it done so many times i'm starting to like it."

good luck.