Khan
Gone but not forgotten
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Interesting how a group of people can maintain behaviors that they would all like to discontinue.
Abilene paradox - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Christmas Present Rant.
- Thread starter My Dream
- Start date
Interesting how a group of people can maintain behaviors that they would all like to discontinue.
Abilene paradox - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
ERD50
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
But you are assuming the "all". Sounds like in WMs case, the SIL is an unknown. Sometimes it's hard to bring up the subject when it involves tradition, and possible hurt feelings if one really does like it (what - you don't like the gifts I buy for you??!!) . But I think I will talk to DW about some of it, but I always think of it too late, as some already do their shopping. Gotta plan for next year.
So you may have identified the problem, but that doesn't always lead to a solution. I know I should eat less and exercise more, but....
-ERD50
freebird5825
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I usually fire up my breamaker and make small loaves of fresh baked bread, usually cinnamon raisin or vasilopita or pick an ethnic one if I know the recipient's ancestry.
Or I pick a new christmas cookie recipe online and make a slew of those.
No complaints have been received to date.
Bonus: no tchotchkes are left hanging around to re-gift or donate.
I almost forgot...my housecleaner has 2 young boys and very little money so I play Santa Claus and give her a fat bonus so she can buy her boys nice presents. She usually buys 1 medium price item and they share it.
Or I pick a new christmas cookie recipe online and make a slew of those.
No complaints have been received to date.
Bonus: no tchotchkes are left hanging around to re-gift or donate.
I almost forgot...my housecleaner has 2 young boys and very little money so I play Santa Claus and give her a fat bonus so she can buy her boys nice presents. She usually buys 1 medium price item and they share it.
WhoDaresWins
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
I think the best gifts are those that someone puts some thought into, or makes themselves. I don't mind buying gifts at Christmas, but I try to keep in mind that we all have too much "stuff". This year, for some close friends in the office, I have bought jams and clarets from a local berry farm. This farm also has a winery so I picked up a few bottles for those who enjoy an occasional glass.
Most of my family lives at a distance so I do order food items from catalogs as it is just so much easier. I have had enthusiastic responses from recipients who have gotten Scottish smoked salmon, cheeses, or dried fruits and nuts or fresh fruit so that it what it will be this year again. My son gets a check and maybe some socks or a shirt or sweater. For my 93 year-old-aunt I typically pick out something in her favorite light blue...a sweater or scarf or robe and take her out to lunch (where we have the tradition of fighting over the check...we both want to pay).
I am thinking of making some fudge or cookies to take in for my unit.
Most of my family lives at a distance so I do order food items from catalogs as it is just so much easier. I have had enthusiastic responses from recipients who have gotten Scottish smoked salmon, cheeses, or dried fruits and nuts or fresh fruit so that it what it will be this year again. My son gets a check and maybe some socks or a shirt or sweater. For my 93 year-old-aunt I typically pick out something in her favorite light blue...a sweater or scarf or robe and take her out to lunch (where we have the tradition of fighting over the check...we both want to pay).
I am thinking of making some fudge or cookies to take in for my unit.
Moemg
Gone but not forgotten
Now that my shopping list is small I really enjoy it . How else would I now what Kung Foo zhu zhu pets were or that Tinkerbell is again popular ? I have to admit I love toy shopping . I also love surprising people with things they did not expect . One year I gift wrapped a shaving kit . It had the usual stuff plus a guide book and two tickets to New Orleans for the following week .
ronocnikral
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I truly believe one of DW's gifts in life is gift giving. It's her way of showing affection. Even if it is diving into one of our closets full of junk and coming out with something for you. I don't think I could ever bring myself to propose halting our gift exchange. to be fair, DW is also a master at spending minimal amount of money and picking excellent gifts for people.
we have run into an issues with nieces and nephews. they seem to have everything, and top of line/name brand at that (it's to the point where i would drive half way across the country to pick up all the toys they will throw out for our impending children). so, we've been forced to become the lame aunt/uncle who give them a collective book to share. i'm sure it will not compare to the wii. we only spend about $10-$15 on each of them and DW doesn't think the savings account is a good idea. I thought a good 10 year CD with $10 in it was an excellent idea. they're getting a book....
we have run into an issues with nieces and nephews. they seem to have everything, and top of line/name brand at that (it's to the point where i would drive half way across the country to pick up all the toys they will throw out for our impending children). so, we've been forced to become the lame aunt/uncle who give them a collective book to share. i'm sure it will not compare to the wii. we only spend about $10-$15 on each of them and DW doesn't think the savings account is a good idea. I thought a good 10 year CD with $10 in it was an excellent idea. they're getting a book....
Katsmeow
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Of course it has an impact on the "gift" budget. Let's say DH gives me a $100 card to Amazon (out of the gift budget of course). I know that I can spend that money on Amazon for anything I want and it doesn't reduce what I was otherwise going to spend on the Entertainment budget. Let's say there is a series of book that I'm debating whether to buy for my Kindle and they cost $50. If I buy out of the entertainment budget then that is $50 less on entertainment that I can spend so I might decide not to buy the $50 in books. If DH gives me the Amazon card then I can buy that $50 in books and still spend the same amount I had in the entertainment budget. To me, that is more fun than simply lowering the gift budget and increasing the entertainment budget. I didn't think it would be more fun which is why I banned gifts between us last year. But it turns out that it actually is more fun.
Khan
Gone but not forgotten
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As I said, I don't understand. Whether the $50 came from the 'gift' column or the 'entertainment' column it is still $50 spent from family money.
Yes, I fully agree. In this case, ERD50 is correct that the worry is SIL might well be offended at a no-gift suggestion, and likely MIL as well. However, it's funny that you mention Abilene, as the last time we were visiting BIL and SIL there had been mention of an outing. All were up for it, but no one especially enthusiastic. BIL's comment that "Well, I don't want to go to Abilene on it" helped us decide to skip it. That was the first time I'd heard that reference.
We haven't hit this yet. They each get a book or two for birthdays, and really like getting these. I'd be in favor of the savings account for Christmas rather than toys as they get a little older but DH doesn't love that idea. While they're little I've been able to make stuff that's been popular - best two so far are reversible aprons for the kitchen/woodshop and a batman cape and belt.
I agree totally with you. I contacted all of my relatives about 10 years ago and told them that my Christmas gift giving days were over and told them to please not send me anything as well. I don't live near any of them and it was just a big hassle trying to figure out what to get any of them and ship it off to them and honestly they all have enough money to go out and buy whatever they want to. My holiday stress has dropped to almost nil and I now enjoy the holidays much more. To those that enjoy the whole gift giving thing, live it up. To those of you, like me, that dread it, feel free to just say no...there will be one year where people think you're being a scrooge, but in the long run they'll all thank you because they don't have to shop for you as well.
youbet
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
As opposed to making small loaves of week old bread?
Awwww...... sorry...... I know what ya meant. Just couldn't help myself! My mom used to like to bake for friends and relatives at the holidays and I got the job of delivering so that they received the gifts while they were still indeed "fresh baked."
OP
OP
My Dream
Full time employment: Posting here.
I went away for the weekend to come back to this thread only to find it wasn't locked up. What the? Not only that..... it's on it's 3rd page.
Oh well, since everyone was nice enough to reply I might as well read them all.
Oh well, since everyone was nice enough to reply I might as well read them all.
REWahoo
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Doesn't that depend on how long in advance of gifting the baking takes place?As opposed to making small loaves of week old bread?
GregLee
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Oh my. That's what I'm getting my wife for Christmas. I have a bad track record finding things she will use, since I like gadgets much more than she does. But I have real hopes she'll like the Kindle, since she reads paperbacks outside a lot.
I have a hard time getting things, since family and friends don't know what I like. However, I found a tentative solution: local wines. This is something I can't shop for myself on the web, since there is a tangle of protective legislation making it very difficult for small wineries to import into a wine-producing state like Hawaii. Unfortunately, it's not easy or legal to ship wines for private persons, so that's a disadvantage.
youbet
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
Well, not really. You always bake "fresh baked" bread. There's no way to bake old bread. It's a contradiction in terms. Old bread involves letting the bread sit around for a while, a step beyond baking. To gift "fresh baked" bread, you need to get your butt in gear and get it over to the lucky giftee pronto. When my mom used to bake for gifting, delivery was my job and the goods were generally still warm from the oven.
Hey..... I was just kiddin' around. It started with a conversation with DW. She said she was going to bake some fresh baked bread like my mom used to. I suggested she bake some day old bread. Then the fight started.........
Later I saw this thread......
I wish I could get my hands on one of freebird5825's loaves while it's still fresh baked, but after my well intentioned (but probably came across as a wise-ass) remarks, I'll just hope I don't get a letter bomb instead!
REWahoo
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I suppose you're gonna tell us the same rules apply to gifting "fresh slaughtered bacon"?
Westernskies
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I suppose you're gonna tell us the same rules apply to gifting "fresh slaughtered bacon"?
Wouldn't that be marketed as "aged on the hoof"?
I like the turn this thread has 'taken to bacon.'
Sarah in SC
Moderator Emeritus
youbet, I get it--my dad used to correct me all the time for saying hot water heater. Same thing.
haha
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
And I bet these "corrections" are as much fun now as they were then.youbet, I get it--my dad used to correct me all the time for saying hot water heater. Same thing.
Ha
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REWahoo
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Spoken like a man who may only pretend to like bacon...And I bet these "corrections" are as much fun now as they were then.
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youbet
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
And I bet these "corrections" are as much fun now as they were then.
Ha
You betcha.... especially since the corectee can't reach my throat or hit me with the bread pan like DW can.
Somehow I feel like retribution will take place however....
ERD50
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
You betcha.... especially since the corectee can't reach my throat or hit me with the bread pan like DW can.
Somehow I feel like retribution will take place however....
There was a chain that had big signs "Our Pies are Baked Fresh Daily!". I always told people,"that's nice - how long after they bake them do they serve them?". And the pies were shipped in, not baked on-site. Most people didn't even groan, I don't think they 'got' that everything is baked 'fresh'.
Same thing (already mentioned) when DW talks about getting 'fresh' bacon, or 'fresh' pickles (those are called 'cucumbers'). And when a restaurant brags about their "home made" this-or-that, I always want to ask whose home they baked them in, and how do they get them here hot (no, I don't bother the wait staff with these questions)? And I can never pass up the 'hot water heater' comment either.
It's an endearing quality, I know.
-ERD50
Westernskies
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There was a chain that had big signs "Our Pies are Baked Fresh Daily!". I always told people,"that's nice - how long after they bake them do they serve them?". And the pies were shipped in, not baked on-site. Most people didn't even groan, I don't think they 'got' that everything is baked 'fresh'.
Same thing (already mentioned) when DW talks about getting 'fresh' bacon, or 'fresh' pickles (those are called 'cucumbers'). And when a restaurant brags about their "home made" this-or-that, I always want to ask whose home they baked them in, and how do they get them here hot (no, I don't bother the wait staff with these questions)? And I can never pass up the 'hot water heater' comment either.
It's an endearing quality, I know.
-ERD50
How does the waitress respond when you order a tuna fish sandwich?
youbet
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
How does the waitress respond when you order a tuna fish sandwich?
She askes if I want the sandwich made on white or whole wheat. I ask, is it "fresh baked?" And, oh yeah, don't forget to add bacon and toast it under the broiler to melt the cheese.
GregLee
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
I don't know about that. I don't bake pies fresh -- I buy frozen ones at the grocery and bake those. However, I buy my fruit fresh rather than buying it canned. When you "bake something Adjective" or "buy something Adjective", that makes sense if the stuff comes "Adjective" (e.g., "fresh", "frozen", "canned") as opposed to coming some other way.
