Christmas Present Rant.

[My Dream]

I know I'm going to come off as a Scrooge but I just don't get this whole gift giving.... in this case during Christmas time. I'm totally for giving presents to kids and maybe teenagers but I don't get the whole give each other presents bit. For example, and I know it's not all about me but........... I've got sooooo many presents that I've either thrown out or just don’t use and my closet if full of them. I wouldn't think of re gifting since my mindset is......if I don't want it then why would I give it to someone else. For example last year I got expired chocolates, mustache trimmer, clothes I wouldn't be caught dead in.

I know it's the thought that counts but how much thought was put into expired chocolate and I know it was re gifted since the person that gave it to me is allergic to chocolate and was probably last year Christmas gift. It's gotten to the point that DW and I don't exchange gifts anymore since we figure if we really want something........well we just buy it ourselves. I know that some gift can be romantic, personal etc, but we’ve been together for 30 years and after about……….oh………………..70 presents, I’ve run out of ideas. Gifts we've been giving each other have been weekend’s away, season theater tickets etc, in other words things we can do together.

I'm all for giving gift to the younger generation since I know they're more on a limited budget and don't have disposable cash as much so I'm all for gift giving in that sense.

Ok time to stop..............rant off............lock up this thread, since I know I'm in for a beating………………………..Wait……you didn’t give me a chance to start running.



Merry Christmas everyone.

 

[REWahoo]

Perhaps you should send out holiday cards with the following greeting: "In lieu of gifts, please make a donation to your favorite charity".

 

[travelover]

I'm in sympathy. Among our geographically close family we just exchange "white elephants" and have a laugh at it. For family still intent on exchanging real Christmas presents, DW and I have requested donations to our favorite charity, which they have honored. DW and I jointly donated to a local food bank last year. This year we may buy something for the house that we both want.

I admit that I am miffed that one relative requested cash for their trip to Hawaii ILO of a traditional gift.

 

[Sarah in SC]

You won't find me disagreeing with you. Between the junk toys for the kids in the family and the list of utilitarian household items we are supposed to purchase for DHs family, I hate Xmas shopping. Ugh.
DH and I plan special events to celebrate holidays and birthdays that we spend together--I prefer no gift exchange.

Fortunately, sis's kids are old enough that I can give them each an Amazon gift certificate and they can buy something they want. Bro's kids? Yeah, that's a disaster. I'm putting money in their custodial accounts for Xmas and birthdays. Maybe it'll help.

 

[Purron]

We gave up gift giving years ago. Thankfully, my family and DH's realized around the same time it was time to stop gift exchanges.

My family celebrates holidays, birthdays, etc. by either going out to a nice restaurant or preparing a special meal at home.

DH's family still does a gift exchange but it's a game where everyone brings one generic or joke gift (limit $25). Then, everyone picks a number. The person with #1 and selects and opens the first gift. The next person can either take a gift that's already been opened or go for a new one.

We used to buy tons of gifts for everyone. Don't miss it at all.

 

[ERD50]

I don't consider my self a Scrooge at all (in the Christmas sense), and even though I'm not religious, I love the Christmas season and the "spirit of" Christmas.

And I still agree with you on the gifts (I touched on this in the Christmas card thread). Kids can get gifts all the way through college or the start of work, but gifts across adults is mostly a waste, unless you are a really good gift giver. I have received gifts that I probably would not have bought for myself that were wonderful. That is great, but it is also pretty rare compared to the things that sit, get given to good will, or whatever.

My brother has the oldest kids in our family, they live far from us, and I (somewhat awkwardly) suggested that we stop exchanging present when the kids reach a certain age. It was just too hard to know what they would use or what they would toss. We could do money, but then it's just them sending our kids money, and us sending their kids money, and it seems rather pointless. We exchanged the "this is donated in your name to charity X" and I think we both saw the silliness of that. We should each just give to the charity of our choice.

I think there was a long thread on re-gifting last year. I'll just say now that I see absolutely nothing wrong (in fact it can be a good thing) with re-gifting under certain circumstances. Obviously, no perishables. But how many times do people add "to each their own" to a post? A gift that is useless to me might be perfect for someone else. Why not pass it on in new, sealed condition? Anything else is a waste, why not put it to good use. There are bad ways to re-gift, but those people would probably have the same problems with newly purchase gifts, because they are dolts.


-ERD50

 

[REWahoo]

Reading this thread makes me wonder if the "consumer-driven economic engine" in the US is really dead. OTOH, when you consider the typical mindset of those who post here, maybe there is still hope.

 

[HFWR]

Reading this thread makes me wonder if the "consumer-driven economic engine" in the US is really dead. OTOH, when you consider the typical mindset of those who post here, maybe there is still hope.

I'm giving everyone a box of sawed-in-half dryer sheets.

 

[Bestwifeever]

I'm giving everyone a box of sawed-in-half dryer sheets.

I'm giving everyone a box of recycled sawed-in-half dryer sheets

We're doing an official regifting Christmas this year with DH's sibs. It should be fun.

I hate getting gifts but I do like to buy them for DH and our grown up kids.

 

[calmloki]

You guys are going with a whole BOX of sawed-in-half dryer sheets?!

 

[TromboneAl]

My Amazon-a-holic sister usually drop ships us something that is totally wrong (e.g. tablecloth and matching oven mitts or salad spinner) for us. We've tried to think of a way to make this stop, but have been unsuccessful.

I'm giving everyone a box of sawed-in-half dryer sheets.

I use a power saw.

 

[Texas Proud]

We stopped gift giving to the adults about 30 plus years ago...

My wife of 2 years has not quite gotten on board


My mom still give all children and spouses $100... grandkids and great grand kids get $50... I think the number is now 30 people...

 

[samclem]

DW proposed dropping the exchange of gifts within the family a few years ago. From the reaction, you'd have thought she wanted to barbecue Rudolph.

My idea was a modest proposal: If there are 20 adult members of the extended family, each person buys 19 gifts for himself--things he'd like to have. Bring them all and put them on a shelf in another room. Everyone does the same thing. Then, everyone gets to "shop" for everyone else by picking an item from the recipient's shelf and wrapping it up for them.

It's perfect: No one has to spend more than they want, everyone gets things they'd really like, everyone gets the "fun" of shopping-but twice! (once in the stores, and once from the items on the shelf). Everyone gets to give the recipient gifts they know they want, and Christmas shopping can be finished in an hour (I could go to Lowe's and find 20 things I'd like in about 30 minutes.)

The crowd also did not respond enthusiastically to my proposal.

 

[Sarah in SC]

sam, while we here can see the appeal of your suggestion, I can imagine that the less practical and more sentimental members of your family balked outright at your modest proposal!

 

[bright eyed]

We've gotten so much better as a family - it makes me dread it far less! No gifts for the adults and presents for the kids are coordinated - we email ahead of time and pool money so they get something nice instead of a bunch of random things.

I do have a friend who chronically gives odd gifts but I know it is an inherited condition!

 

[FIREd]

I looove giving and receiving Christmas presents. We only exchange gifts with our immediate family though, so we have only 8 people on our list.

 

[TomG]

If there is anything I want that I value more than the cash someone is going to spend on it, I would have already bought it. So the only rational gift someone can give me is money

The other side, though, is that even if it is something I get little value from, like a coffee mug, shirt or fruit cake, the small amount of value is still a benefit. If I truly get zero value from it, it just goes in the trash and no big deal

So, while I'm not going to bother with gift giving, I am all for gift receiving. Especially if it is from a rational person giving me cash

 

[REWahoo]

I looove giving and receiving Christmas presents.

History repeats itself - a Frenchman helping keep the American Dream alive.

 

[youbet]

I know I'm in for a beating………………………..

No beating from me. In fact, just the opposite. I'm suggesting you give yourself a gift. Go to your doc and ask for sedatives. The holidays will pass quietly and your family will appreciate your calm demeanor.

We exchange gifts with DS, DIL, the 3 grandkids and DW's mom. It's relatively easy and great fun. We trimmed extended family from gift exchanging long ago.

If you exchange gifts with a wider circle than you want, it's nobody's fault but your own. If you fret about it, read my first paragraph again.

 

[Walt34]

With family, everyone has reached the point where we all have all the stuff we need, and most of what we want (A Gulfstream IV is beyond the budget of anyone I know) so we've all stopped Christmas gift-giving unless someone stumbles across an unusual item that we're sure will be appreciated.

With DW, we'll each have few token gifts for each other, but it is normally stuff we were planning on buying anyway.

 

[FIREd]

History repeats itself - a Frenchman helping keep the American Dream alive.

America's been good to me, I'm just trying to be good to America...

 

[Katsmeow]

We give gifts to teenage children and I love receiving gifts and want to continue even after kids are grown. They don't have to be large gifts just something to show the thought is there. I don't have a need to do gifts much beyond that. Still exchange gifts with my 86 year old mom though.

About a year ago I proposed to DH that he and I not exchange gifts since we can, indeed, just buy what we want and there isn't much surprise there. We had moved from picking out a gift to asking the other what was wanted to, in recent years, gift card to Amazon or Itunes or whatever.

So we went a year with no gifts except a very small token (and filling a Christmas stocking). I found that I hated this. It is true that we can just buy what we want but when DH gives me a gift card to amazon I can just spend that gift card with no care or concern and no impact on the budget. It allows me to buy totally frivolous things that I probably wouldn't buy if I was buying it myself. Yes, I realize that this may seem irrational but that it is. So this year we are back to giving gifts to one another (although we do have a sense of budget there. I know that DH is not -- alas -- going to give me $5000 in gift cards for Amazon).

 

[Lisa99]

Several years ago I was able to get both sides of the family to agree to buy presents only for the kids.

Everyone then donates to a favorite cause in the family's name. In-laws take gifts to their local nursing home, we adopt kids via the Angel Tree, and sometimes there is a special giving like the year my dad had cancer we donated to the American Cancer Society in his name.

 

[Moemg]

We still do gifts for the grand kids and I shop for my Mom & sisters . Otherwise we draw names so we only have to buy one present for the adults . Gary & I exchange gifts . Sometimes big gifts sometimes small gifts . He always sends me a mushy card which I like . We also do the tree & lights and the whole enchilada .

 

[Alan]

We stopped gift giving among adults in our families in 1987 when we came to the USA. Apparently all the folks we left behind thought this was a great idea and stopped gift giving among themselves.

We continued to send gifts to our nieces and nephews until they reached age 18. (we have 3 left under age 12 so we have a few years to go). Their parents are always good enough to email a list of possible gifts and we buy them online.

We still do gift giving between ourselves and our 2 kids, and again we circulate wish-lists to avoid buying things that won't be used. My supplies of single malt are running low (how many days 'til Christmas?)