Clothing archives; getting to be the Smithsonian here

[ladelfina]

Does anyone have a problem with what I'll call "archival" clothing? These are clothes you don't wear but keep for various reasons.

Category A: the Stockpile

1. Clothes that fit, but you don't wear
   (they have a tiny stain, or are a bit out of style, or have a color/pattern/texture that never convinced you)
2. Clothes that don't fit now, but might if you gain/lose weight
3. Special clothes that are OK but are just not part of your lifestyle anymore
   (work clothes, clothes for a sport you no longer practice, etc., clothes to go out clubbing)

Category B: the Museum

1. Clothes that have special significance and perhaps some retained value
   (wedding dress, evening gown, designer outfit, tuxedo)
2. Clothes that have special significance but may be little more than rags
   (college T-shirts you keep for the slogan/artwork/memories, old Halloween costumes you MIGHT put together again)
3. Clothes that are "unique" in some other way that makes them hard to part with
   (an embroidered vest, a souvenir hat, an authentic Arab get-up, a weird sweater with a picture on it your mom knitted).

I am inching up on the latter category in the poll in that this stuff seems to be the bulk of our clothing. HELP! I can imagine being more severe with the Stockpile than with the Museum but I am basically weak all-around. Any ideas or techniques for an attitude self-adjustment welcome, but the common "one year or toss it" recommendation is too drastic (for me.. whimper).

What's hard about throwing ANYthing away is that it seems to close a door in life that was left ajar. Can I admit to myself that it will be unlikely that I go to a discotheque in the future, so I won't need stiletto heels and wild jewelry? Do I need to keep reminders of a college-era London shopping spree (rubber bracelets and clothes that were great when Madonna was first on the scene)? I can imagine the same thing happening to someone getting rid of a tennis or riding outfit (hanging up their spurs).

I also have a weakness for keeping things when the leather/silk/mohair/cashmere, etc. is luscious, even though the items are out of date or unwearable for other reasons.

 

[Fireup2020]

Formal dresses, etc and old military uniforms (don't wear due to unit attached to, but still in, so feel the need to keep!) A few items of "significance" - but that is it. I am pretty good about purging the closets - just coming up on the seasonal rotation

 

[Meadbh]

Someday soon, I'm gping to delve into that closet and find buried treasure. Stuff I didn't know I had, stuff that time forgot, stuff that is once again in fashion, stuff that reminds me of fun times......Goodwill will get a box for sure.

 

[Achiever51]

I'm pretty good at weeding out Category A -- every year or so I go through everything and end up getting rid of most of the stuff that's beyond it's useful life.

But as for Category B -- still have my wedding dress (made by my mom), expensive work clothes and shoes, and some items that just bring back memories. Hubby still has dress uniform from Army--and he was in Vietnam in 67-68.

I wish I kept some of the trendier items from the 70s...my DD is wearing similar styles now!

 

[bpp3]

When the dresser drawers won't close, something has to go. No new storage will be created for clothes. I get less sentimental as time goes on.

 

[Joss]

I disagree with your catagory separation. I'd limit the "stockpile" to what is supposed to be there for use everyday, and relegate the rest to the "museum". That includes "fat" clothes, "skinny" clothes and clothes from previous "lives".

"One-year-and-toss-it" only works for the everyday clothing, not museum stuff. If it was intended for everyday, and you haven't worn it in a year.... toss it and be more careful what you buy next time.

It's the museum stuff that is tricky. That is, of course, unless you're such a packrat that "everyday" just ultimately becomes "museum" as your "default setting".

"What's hard about throwing ANYthing away is that it seems to close a door in life that was left ajar."

Maybe the key to success is just dealing with this issue. Was it the "events" that were important, or the property that just coincided with those moments? Did the property "define" the event, or was it just there at the same time? Is the property as important as the events were? Is ALLLLL this property equally important?

One solution, perhaps, is to be more selective. Pick more space efficient "baggage" to link back to your past. Perhaps photo's instead of clothing. Another might be to trim the "memorabilia" down to the smallest useful tokens, rather than just keeping it all.

"I can imagine the same thing happening to someone getting rid of a tennis or riding outfit (hanging up their spurs)."

So why not keep just the spurs rather than the entire outfit?

Another possibility is imagining how this "load" is going to look to your heirs and what they are supposed to do with it; enshrine it or load it out to Goodwill?

Unfortunately, the bottom line here is people making decisions. That's troublesome to lots of people, since it's always easier to just do "nothing" than it is to do "something".

 

[Sandy]

I still fit into stuff from 35 years ago - talk about museum!

I don't give away the dressy dresses, club clothes, the fashion trend items, etc becuase I don't want to have to buy them again. But, I rarely, if ever, need them. That said, I guarentee that when I finally decide to get ride of something (a work skirt that isn't quite the right color for me, my 3/4 length sleeve concert shirts) sure, enough, I find myself wanting to wear them in the next 6 months and cursing my efficency.

Much of the musuem stuff now comes in handy for kids' costumes. I do try to purge the eveyday stuff as it wears out or is ruined.

Sorry, no easy answers, just some sympathy.

 

[REWahoo]

Financial columnist Scott Burns on "Closet Guilt"...

Do you suffer from “Closet Guilt”?

If you’re a man, the likely answer is no. If you’re a woman, you’d rather not talk about it.

 

[Nords]

Does anyone have a problem with what I'll call "archival" clothing? These are clothes you don't wear but keep for various reasons.

I keep a set of uniforms and a few pairs of coveralls in our closet. Don't take up much space and if they were damaged I wouldn't replace them.

[*]Special clothes that are OK but are just not part of your lifestyle anymore

I store winter clothes-- a 25-year-old ski jacket, and hats/gloves that are at least that old. I don't even know if it's wearable (brittle, decomposed) anymore and I'd rather not travel to winter but I can if I have to.

I am inching up on the latter category in the poll in that this stuff seems to be the bulk of our clothing.

Is it a problem? Do you need the storage space for something else or do you want to reduce the clutter or be able to move into a smaller place? If those aren't searing issues then there's probably no compelling reason to sweat it.

I used to have four walls of bookshelves, which I've pruned back to one wall and routinely have to keep hacking back. I'm at the point where I'll forever keep my personal copies of the classic science fiction (that's disappearing from the libraries) and I have to decide if it's really worth keeping a copy of a book on shorting stocks. The nice thing about the one-wall system is that I don't have to make a decision until the books start piling up on horizontal surfaces... until then I just don't worry about it.

 

[Miss_Lala]

I received a turtleneck cashmere sweater for Christmas from someone who didn't know me very well. I hate turtlenecks! However, the tag says the magic word....CASHMERE. Every time I start to think about giving it away, the little voice in the back of my mind starts scolding me, saying to keep it because of what it's made of.

You are not alone in your clothing problem, that's for sure.

 

[Khan]

I think part of the problem with culling clothes (and tools and everything else) is that you have to admit failure.

As long as you keep the lathe or yarn or skiing equipment... you can pretend you really are going to take up/resume those activities.

Going through those layers of the past is an exercise in archeology:
What is that?
What was its intended use?
Who was the person who acquired it?
What became of him/her?

 

[SecondCor521]

With my clothes I do an analogous thing to Nords and his books: I have a certain number of hangars and a certain amount of closet space. If I run out of hangars or closet space, I get rid of items until everything has a hangar that needs one and the closet space is not crowded. If I bought a new shirt or pair of pants, I would then get rid of an old shirt or pair of pants. One in, one out.

2Cor521

 

[W2R]

I enjoy cleaning out my closets and ruthlessly throwing away stuff. This is part of my preparation for moving as soon as I can ER! I want to pare all of my things down to a small truckload for the move. It's something that I can do NOW... so it makes me feel at least a tiny bit empowered instead of just stuck working at my job.

I am also in the process of getting rid of old journals and nearly ancient technical reports that I will no longer want in retirement.

 

[flipstress]

Maybe you're just not ready to part with all of them. Maybe you can get rid of just some.

Category A: the Stockpile

1. Clothes that fit, but you don't wear
   (they have a tiny stain, or are a bit out of style, or have a color/pattern/texture that never convinced you)
2. Clothes that don't fit now, but might if you gain/lose weight

Can you bear to get rid of Category A1? (You never wear them anyway.)
Also those Category A2 items that you know you don't like?

For the museum items, can you wear some of them to costume parties, parades, or theme parties? Wearing them once in a while might make you feel better. Then you can get rid of them as you feel ready. There is no rush to get rid of these items of sentimental value, or is there?

I hang on to some clothes that I don't wear for a few years because it's just hard to let go. Usually, after a few years, I can let them go. I do keep special outfits like a nice beaded gown and a few outfits my mom gave me.

I have to yet get rid of business suits that are now out of style. Also, I'm slowly getting rid of my dry-clean outfits that I don't wear anymore because I don't want to spend on dry-cleaning anymore.

 

[d]

95% of the time i wear 5% of the clothes! or something like that ... but maybe i'm getting better ... just tossed a bunch of 20 yr old stuff i hadn't worn in 10 yrs.

 

[haha]

My museum is Army surplus. I cannot throw away anything made of heavy wool, who knows but someday I could be freezing? I have several balaclavas that are so warm and itchy that I have never been anywhere cold enough to use them. I have Swiss Mountain troop rucksacks, an excellent Swedish rubberized rucksack that I use a lot, an East German overcoat that likely was for guarding some windswept desolate border outpost and an aluminum pack-rack perfect for carrying an outboard motor into the wilderness. Luckily I have a storeroom in my apartment basement.

BTW, the Commie coat is de rigeur among the punks in my neighborhood.


Ha

 

[ladelfina]

Joss - I thought of the Stockpile more like a pantry.. kept to use in "a pinch" for that "rainy day" but not in current rotation.

Maybe the key to success is just dealing with this issue. Was it the "events" that were important, or the property that just coincided with those moments? Did the property "define" the event, or was it just there at the same time? Is the property as important as the events were? Is ALLLLL this property equally important? ... Unfortunately, the bottom line here is people making decisions. That's troublesome to lots of people, since it's always easier to just do "nothing" than it is to do "something".

Here you have hit the nail on the head!!!

Sandy- thanks for the sympathy. I feel your pain! At least you have kids and can have fun with some of the cast-offs. My problem is with assessing an item's "wearing out". In ER I've lost what little sense of shame & decency I ever had, and routinely wear stuff that has stains or holes in it around the house, in order to preserve "the (regular) good stuff". This strategy because around the house (in the countryside w/a big dog) things will quickly get stains/holes anyway! "The (regular) good stuff" hardly ever gets really worn out but I do buy a ltd. # of things each year just to "freshen up" our wardrobe. Save even 5-10% from each year and they start to pile up.

REWahoo- Sure, the man doesn't "suffer" from guilt.. but that doesn't mean he's no reason to. The Arab getup, souvenir hat, wierd sweaters are all DH's. I've got more stuff overall than he, but he's in the same pattern of: 20% crappy stuff that gets worn every day; 20-30% "good" stuff that gets worn occasionally; 30-40% stuff that doesn't get worn at all for various reasons; 20% Museum. In theory I'd like to get this to: 10-15% crappy stuff (for messy work); 50-60% "good" stuff that gets used daily/more often; 20-25% special occasion (suits, dressy dresses); 10% Museum.. and reduce the sheer amount by 30-50%. This strategy entails not only throwing out.. but concievably spending a bit more to replace "regular" clothes that either get worn out (which we don't), clothes that don't fit (which we don't.. we just don't wear them), clothes that go out of style (which we don't.. ibid). We subconciously reduce spending given the amount of clothes we have, understanding that we've "got too much" when in fact the amount of decent clothing that fits is the tip of the iceberg. It's like we're eating Rice-a-Roni with last year's filet mignon still in the fridge.. bleh.

Don't get me started on men and clothes: DH perceives 2 kinds of clothes: "other" and nice. I can buy him a "nice" casual shirt/pants in the expectation that it be used for random going-out-in-public. Nuh-uh: if it isn't an expensive suit/tie/dress shirt.. it might as well be a rag to wash the car with. He's starting to perceive an intermediate category, but slowly. For me the categories are more finely distinguished, for better or worse: rags (around the house); decent (go to the store, everyday work); nice (dinner invite / nice restaurant); special occasion (top-level suit/dress). Where I see 4+ levels, he sees 2.

Let's not even venture into the (envious here) realm of male vs. female dress. Does DH have brown dress shoes and black dress shoes? Check. Brown casual, black casual? Check. Sandals? Sneakers? Stop. A man can conquer the male world of shoe-dom with 6 pairs.

Me: I have red shoes blue shoes black shoes brown shoes grey shoes ivory shoes taupe shoes orange shoes purple shoes white shoes black/blue shoes, black/tan shoes black/white shoes olive green shoes. Stiletto heels, high heels, medium heels, low heels, flats. Smooth leather, shiny leather, buckskin, suede, synthetic. Tall shoes short shoes tall boots short boots sandals slides mules. Hey! I sniffed out those handmade butter-soft Ferragamos or the Calvin Klein suede-sandals-that-lace-up-the-calf for $30 at Filene's basement in the States, and I'm damned if, coming to Italy, I'm gonna throw them out and wear only the everyday Chinese-made rubber-soled utilitarian numbers I got for the same price at Target (but that's what I actually wear!). Shoes are actually a small part of the problem as they are easier to store out-of-the-way.

DH can wear, and has worn, his lovely grey handmade summer mohair wedding suit again. My handmade wedding dress? There's no secondary market here; do I stuff a couple thousand euros in the Goodwill-type bin down at the supermarket parking lot? If I knew some poor robust Gypsy/Rom lass would get a free bridal gown, I'd be more than content. Most likely it would end up ruined or as scrap. If I were in the States and there weren't the Goodwill/Salvation Army option, I'd give it to the local church. Believe me, the churchgoers here, no matter how poor, would categorically reject anything second-hand; not just clothing, but even furniture and other goods; they'd rather do without, I kid you not.. If it's not made/bought expressly for them personally, they don't want it. We had to leave behind at least $2k of good stuff (new working vacuum, furniture, various kitchen appliances, etc.) when we left Rome for the US and our nephew could not have been bothered to pick it up, though we gave him our apt. keys. Disgusting, they'd say.

Nords - good point about minimum preparedness, but even I'm not so bad that I don't throw out things with decomposing elastic (erm.. except for that pair of pants where I really like the fit and fabric and maybe I'll get around to replacing the waistband...). Maybe for winter you should invest in a more traditional/timeless wool coat and lined leather gloves that won't go out of style or decay (when properly stored). Ancient ski stuff is nasty! Those were actually among the things I had No Problem ditching.

Storage is kind of an issue, in that the house is big but the active storage is small. We have a built-in closet in the BR (rare in Italian houses). It's 46" wide. There's another identical in a spare bedroom; it's filled with the dresses/suits/weddingdress and some off-season things. Everything else has to fit in a small number of drawers or the (much more plentiful) long-term-storage space (boxes) which means work cleaning/airing and pressing to get them into wearable condition. Built for a time/place when clothes were fewer, more expensive, with more clearly demarcated "seasons" and relative high-maintenance (done by others). Think 18th-c. Versailles armoire logistics and you are not far off.

Miss Lala- yes, "magic"! Shoes with leather linings instead of plastic. Also, anything hand-tailored. DH has a heavy blue linen suit made-to-measure; the color is similar to the blue bars here on the forum, but slightly more saturated (!).

Khan- exactly!! You have read my mind.

SecondCor521- I would like to get to that Zen state of balance.

Want2Retire- It is a BIG help to have a transition point that is an incentive to re-assess!

flipstress- dry cleaning.. gotcha! It's oh-so-expensive here, but like you I just have a problem simply throwing out my old $ilk work jackets/skirts/pants.

d- That's where we're at. Good for you for tossing! I am currently wearing a 20 y.o. pair of really-REALLY-ill-fitting-but-comfortable jeans in which I would literally not leave the house in even to take out the trash (bought for $10, if that, at Bldg. 19, a northeastern US distressed-goods seller), and a faded black ribbed Jockey tank (also at least 20 y.o. and probably of similar provenance). This, when I have many, many thousand$ "invested" over the years in "nicer" items. It's like I'm Mr. Hyde and my closet is Dr. Jekyll. How do I oust Dr. Jekyll/Martha Stewart while embracing my true (apparently Mr. Hyde) nature in a manner less befitting a street person?

ha- Sounds like you are ready for a Nuclear Winter rather than global warming. Your papers, please?

Anyway.. thanks all, for a bit of perspective. I hope I can get the ball rolling this coming "cambio di stagione" where canonically Italians swap the coming season's clothes into the closet replacing those of the past season. A big operation.

I just need, myself, to see the clothes less as objects, to store/accumulate, with value... and more like perishables: use it or lose it. Maybe it'd be a good idea to take photos of some of the "Museum" clothes on their way out.. save the memories but not the bulk.

 

[chinaco]

Yup... we all have the problem. Or should I say... DW has the problem. I keep some clothes hanging around too long. But it is a minuscule fraction of DW's stockpile.

There must be something genetic in this. When she see clothes, she thinks my beautiful things. I just see expense and more things to store that will never be used.

Of course I will not talk about life's necessities like pool tables, big screen TV with surround sound, Fossball table, bar, tools, endless gadgets... those things no man should have to suffer through life without.

 

[Fireup2020]

How does a GF encourage a man to purge his closet of stuff (has not been worn in the 1.5 years we have been dating)? Old sweaters from the 80's, short sleeve patterned shirts, etc....the man has TWO closets full of clothes (compared to my mere one large closet full of stuff - many that are military uniforms!) No gripes about any of his dress shirts, suits, ties, or casual or seasonal/sports stuff, but all the rest!? He's not quite the metro guy either!

 

[calmloki]

OOps - cat came in and was showing the love by walking on the keyboard and sending the message too soon.

 

[calmloki]

How does a GF encourage a man to purge his closet of stuff (has not been worn in the 1.5 years we have been dating)? Old sweaters from the 80's, short sleeve patterned shirts, etc....the man has TWO closets full of clothes (compared to my mere one large closet full of stuff - many that are military uniforms!) No gripes about any of his dress shirts, suits, ties, or casual or seasonal/sports stuff, but all the rest!? He's not quite the metro guy either!

Pfft! You know the answer. Back AWAY from the good stuff. Off limits items include the sunrotted denim shirt patched and re-patched by a succession of college girls demonstrating their domesticity - 30 years ago, a pigskin shirt that belonged to my father, my Navy gear, the over the calf motorcyle cop boots, the Japanese peasant rain-cape and hat made of rushes (think Kurasawa film). None of it worn in decades. Fair game includes the stacks of pullover sweaters she keeps bringing home after her consignment store shopping trips. I don't care if i look good in them - i don't wear 'em. Ditto the rayon or raw silk shirts - ok, they look good, but if they only get worn once/year they're going to start piling up.... Shoot, can't even cycle through t-shirts fast enough to wear the stacks down - socks are about the only thing that go away as a matter of course - and even there the thin fancy socks tend to start limiting the usable portion of my sock drawer.

 

[ladelfina]

 

[haha]

How does a GF encourage a man to purge his closet of stuff (has not been worn in the 1.5 years we have been dating)? Old sweaters from the 80's, short sleeve patterned shirts, etc....the man has TWO closets full of clothes (compared to my mere one large closet full of stuff - many that are military uniforms!) No gripes about any of his dress shirts, suits, ties, or casual or seasonal/sports stuff, but all the rest!? He's not quite the metro guy either!

Question- how is this part of your mandate? Do you care for his clothes? My "Danger-threat to autonomy" button would start vibrating if some woman tried to tell me what to do with my closet.

Ha

 

[Fireup2020]

For the record, HE has made comments about "needing" to thin out the closet (for a variety of reasons) Not something to get bitchy about from my end. (regardless of how amusing I find it)

 

[tangomonster]

Seeing this season's retro fashions (geometric prints, bellbottoms, minidresses, etc.) I wish I had held on to them. No, not to wear them (I would not inflict a miniskirt on a 53 year old body on the eyes of the general public) but to sell them. Bet they'd be worth a fortune on eBay or some vintage shop: the pleather miniskirt, the paper dress, the chain belt, the white go go boots, the leopard miniskirt, the fringed vests, etc. When I look at what people sell on eBay, I don't know whether to be more amazed at what people buy (the most amazing purchase recently was not a clothing item but it was something a celebrity wore: Stephen Colbert's wrist cast for over $17,000!) or what people have held on to for so many years.

And speaking of clothing from our day (those in late forties and beyond), does anyone think it's funny that "our clothes" from back in the day are now in fashion? When I see a ten year old wearing a tie dye T shirt, I can't help but think it doesn't mean the same to them to be wearing a premade tie dye shirt that they bought at some T shirt shop at the beach as it did to us who painstakingly made our own with rubber bands and Rit dye! Anyone remember that?