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Old 11-05-2018, 03:40 PM   #41
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So burning natural gas fossil fuels in cremation is good for the environment?
First of all, if you're concerned about the earth and renewable resources, reserving 8'x2.5' plots of land that can never be used by any living person for all eternity isn't exactly the most sustainable plan.

Second, who says it has to be natural gas?

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Old 11-05-2018, 03:43 PM   #42
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No point arguing with someone who makes their living from the subject under Discussion, they will be biased even if not intentionally. Think Insurance Agent, Re Agent, Car Sales Person, Annuity sales person, the list goes on. This just happens to be a more sensitive subject.
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Old 11-05-2018, 03:45 PM   #43
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We used a pre-pay arrangement for MIL before she switched from private pay to Medicaid at the nursing home since that was an allowed expenditure under Medicaid look-back rules.
I was also wondering if the bank account arrangement served an additional purpose- to protect it form other creditors. If you die with a pile of credit card debts ad no assets other than a regular savings account at XYZ bank that you intend to be used for your final expenses, wouldn't the credit card companies have a legitimate claim on it? Maybe because it's set up with the bank as a special "trust", specifically for funeral/burial expenses, it cant' go to any other creditors.

Sad story about relatives going against the deceased's wishes: the brother of my nephew by marriage (NBM) came back from fighting in the Middle East with a bad case of PTSD and ended up committing suicide. He'd expressed his wishes that he be cremated. Their mother insisted on in-ground burial and since she didn't have the money, told NBM HE had to pay for his brother's burial- which he did. (He's a partner in a large accounting firm so it was within his means, but still...) What a waste of money, land, chemicals and materials.
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Old 11-05-2018, 03:49 PM   #44
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No point arguing with someone who makes their living from the subject under Discussion, they will be biased even if not intentionally. Think Insurance Agent, Re Agent, Car Sales Person, Annuity sales person, the list goes on. This just happens to be a more sensitive subject.
I think Monterey298sc has been very objective and informative, and I greatly appreciate his posts here.
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Old 11-05-2018, 03:55 PM   #45
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I think Monterey298sc has been very objective and informative, and I greatly appreciate his posts here.
In some instances yes, I agree. But others not so much. If one has made up one's mind about what they wants to do, that should be enough, especially on such a sensitive subject.
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Old 11-05-2018, 04:47 PM   #46
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That is sad, but good to know, thanks for educating us. We have it covered. If they do not follow our directive and honor our wishes, they will be removed from the will.
Great idea! I'm going to edit my will to include just such a clause... Barring that I'll be forced to come back and haunt them!
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Old 11-05-2018, 05:16 PM   #47
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That was convenient, but it was no bargain. Saving only 50% after they held your money for 25 years was a financial rip-off.

We used a pre-pay arrangement for MIL before she switched from private pay to Medicaid at the nursing home since that was an allowed expenditure under Medicaid look-back rules. But, otherwise, would never consider doing it. There are other ways to get nearly the same convenience for your survivors without the expense of receiving a low return on your money for years.
Uh, I wasn't trying to imply it was a good investment. But, it was nice having everything decided when the time came. Much, much easier than a couple times we had to make arrangements due to a sudden unexpected death. That's when you let emotions get in the way of common financial sense. DW and I decided to make all decisions for our own funerals/burials now while we could think clearly and not burden our kids with those decisions. Whether or not pre-paying makes a good investment was not even on our radar when we did it. We won't care at that point. We'll be dead.
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Old 11-05-2018, 06:19 PM   #48
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Great idea! I'm going to edit my will to include just such a clause... Barring that I'll be forced to come back and haunt them!
Just make sure they know your wishes and that they're someplace other than in the will, which may not be found and read till weeks after the person's death.
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Old 11-05-2018, 10:25 PM   #49
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Yes, you can do that. What I am saying just about all funeral homes require payment when services are rendered, just like all businesses. Could take months to years to close an estate and a attorney pay a funeral home. This is why funeral homes can’t wait that long for payment. Also I have been involved with estates that we find out 6 months down the road is insolvent. NO MONEY to pay creditors. Another reason payment is required upfront . The person who paid funeral bill will be reimbursed personally from estate when closed.. so your executer will pay from is own packet and be reimbursed from estate if you chose not to pre-pay at a funeral home.
I commented on this before, but I thought of a couple of things. Why would an executor be willing to pay for the funeral out of pocket, then wait to be reimbursed from the estate? The executor may not have intimate details of the estate and it could be insolvent, as you have found out yourself. The executor might not have the money, plain and simple. If the executor isn't a close family member and might not even be an heir, what motivation is there to spend the money for the disposition of the remains?

Life insurance, or whatever the OP is considering purchasing, might be sufficient to cover the costs, but it doesn't get paid out quickly enough before the remains need to be taken care of in some way. If, as you say, funeral homes want payment upfront so as not to get stiffed (pun intended), then the life insurance doesn't truly provide the relief from the financial burden of the final disposition that the deceased intended, does it? Unless the funeral home is willing to keep the body on ice until the life insurance pays out?

Not an AARP member, but here is an article from their website that explains some options that may help in these matters:

https://www.aarp.org/home-family/fri...ptions-fd.html
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Old 11-06-2018, 05:24 AM   #50
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As a funeral home, the contact is always between the person who calls us and is willing to sign a contract for final services. If no one is willing to take financial responsibility with the funeral home directly, we don’t even pick up remains from hospital, hospice ect. Once in our care and then no one is willing to pay for services, the funeral home only option is to pay for cremation out of OUR pocket , bucause the body MUST be taken care of shortly after death. THIS IS THE reason we don’t pick up remains usually until we have a signed contract. This is very rare not to have someone take that responsibility, but it does happen several times a year. You are correct , we can file a claim for the expenses with the estate, however often it is insolvent.
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Old 11-06-2018, 06:16 AM   #51
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I think Monterey298sc has been very objective and informative, and I greatly appreciate his posts here.
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Old 11-06-2018, 07:01 AM   #52
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My parents both had low cost pre arranged funerals. Money was not the issue for them. They left verbal instructions that there were to be no upsells.

It certainly made the process easier for me. The funeral home did of course try to upsell by ushering me into the casket showroom. No sale. They had both been to enough elaborate funerals to come to the conclusion that this is no what either of them wanted. I followed their wishes to the letter.

We plan to do the same for our children. We are seeing a growing trend towards no service-church or memorial. Not certain why this is. I do not care one way or the other since I will be long gone.

We have lived in various parts of the country and see a noticeable difference in funerals. The ones in the east were far more formal. Visitations with all the family present, open caskets, suits. Much less so on the west coast and in the western city where we now reside.
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Old 11-06-2018, 08:33 AM   #53
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Not a recommendation, just pointing out companies like Science Care will dispose of your body for free. They'll even mail somebody the cremains if requested.


Just don't be mislead into thinking you're donating your body to science. Its a chop shop that sells the tissues and organs to whoever... although the buyers tend to be research/teaching... they are inserting a middle man and the middle man makes a profit. But what do you care? you're dead.
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Old 11-06-2018, 08:46 AM   #54
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Yes, when you donate your body or organs, they make a lot of money selling parts to schools.
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Old 11-06-2018, 08:51 AM   #55
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Yes, when you donate your body or organs, they make a lot of money selling parts to schools.

Which isn't a bad thing. We researched cutting out the middle man and donating directly to a med school. Too many hoops to jump through, too many restrictions, etc etc. Science Care made it easy and makes a profit in providing that service.


Edit to add: The casket/urn company makes a profit, the embalming chemical company makes a profit, the head stone company makes a profit, the funeral home makes a profit... so it not like one option is more virtuous than another when it comes to profiting from the dead.
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Old 11-06-2018, 08:54 AM   #56
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You just said it , YOU DONT CARE! That is the trend. Sadly people don’t care what happens to there loved one Anymore. The trend is NOT CARING what happens to there daughter, son, wife. Just put them on a shelf at home and leave the problem to the new owners of that property that finds the remains. We see that all the time, because people call us to see if we will take the remains when they buy a house .
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Old 11-06-2018, 08:56 AM   #57
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You just said it , YOU DONT CARE! That is the trend. Sadly people don’t care what happens to there loved one Anymore. The trend is NOT CARING what happens to there daughter, son, wife. Just put them on a shelf at home and leave the problem to the new owners of that property that finds the remains. We see that all the time, because people call us to see if we will take the remains when they buy a house .

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Old 11-06-2018, 08:59 AM   #58
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Monterey298sc, it will help others if you use the “quote” button when you respond to a specific post. That way we will know to which post your response is directed.
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Old 11-06-2018, 09:07 AM   #59
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Please remember Funeral Service Personnel are very respectful by nature, otherwise they could choose a different vocation. They also have significant training. DW worked in a Funeral Home for 20 years, so we/she knows quite a bit. It is not my intention to be disrespectful of them, on the contrary, they REALLY believe in what they say and do. We simply just do not agree.

The upselling and over pricing of services at the expense of the bereaved is what she did not like, even though the service personnel had very honorable intentions, good send off and all that. Eventually it caused here to leave. She loved dealing with folks in need of sympathy/empathy, but was not so happy with the costs of items/services.

We are not religious at all and we would rather our legacy went to our favorite charity that a lavish departing service is all. We also stipulate that we do not want to be stored in a chapel prior to cremation as that would be very hypocritical. That is our choice. Some folks disagree. But please do not mock the practice, each to his or her own.
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Old 11-06-2018, 09:30 AM   #60
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Monterey298sc, it will help others if you use the “quote” button when you respond to a specific post. That way we will know to which post your response is directed.

Thank you
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