Thanks, all, for the continuing support and advice! Things are moving forward so nicely.
I would would not let your soon to be former husband know about your plans or life going forward. As he finds his life spinning out of control his behavior may not support your success. Along that line I would not share with your employers or co-workers any details of your divorce or the circumstances leading up to it.
Great point. They did do a background check and since we've filed it's in the system, so I mentioned to the HR person that I was going through a divorce, but that it was a good thing and wouldn't impact my ability to do the job. But I am not planning on sharing anything with my coworkers. I hadn't thought much about security, but you raise a really good point. Thanks, as I am looking at apartments this weekend.
Would love to know how the soon-to-be ex is spiraling---can you just give an example?
I think the best example is his decision to reconnect with his toxic and dysfunctional family, and the consequences that result from that. His brother (who lives at home with his parents) is an alcoholic and drug addict going through week-long binges, so my ex has been in the middle of domestic struggles, for example brother beating up parents; parents responding by threatening brother with their guns -- refuse to call cops because they can't afford lawyers and already have a bunch of DV convictions on their record (brother and father.) So my ex has been spending time taking his brother to the ER and trying to intervene there. My ex is barely sleeping, not eating much, is almost constantly sick (and he's already immuno-compromised.) Although he's living with his mistress, he's realized he doesn't like her very much, so according to him, he's basically been living out of his car and just sleeping over there. He's just a hot mess. I think it might be affecting him at work. He's in his last year of fellowship and was hoping for a full-time job at the hospital he's at now. He'd been told he'd get an offer by the end of January, and he still hasn't seen one a month later. I know he said his experiments in the lab hadn't been working well lately, so I'm sure his head isn't in the game as much as it should be.
Do you like the new city?
I love it! Right now, I live in a suburb of the city. Which was fine when I was married and not going out much. My new job is right downtown, so I want to be closer to the action. There is just so much going on, and it will be great to not have to worry about a 40 minute drive back home.
I must admit I feel a bit NPD myself by updating this thread, but it seems like there's enough interest that I should keep it up. If I ever do write that book, I'll let you know
