Some of you may remember...

Thank you for posting this intimate news, aja888. It forces the rest of us to think and to learn from others experience of this indescribable thing called life. Peace to you, in due time.
 
So sorry for your loss.

One thought I try to keep in mind that helps me is: Don't be sad it is over. Be grateful it happened. : )
 
I am so very sorry.

I do remember. You were a wonderful husband to her. I saw your post about Christmas, and noticed that you didn't mention visiting your DW, you mentioned not taking out the tree, - so wondered, but was afraid to anything. I went back looking at your posts . . .

The first flush of grief is so very raw, so overwhelming; and (at least from my perspective) there are no shortcuts. My dad lost my mom and his heart was broken. It took him a long time before he was able to enjoy his time with the family again but we spent as much time with him as possible.

I was very close to my parents, and it took me about two years before I was able to think of them without the pain. It was like a physical wound that initially bled, eventually scarred over, and sometimes the scars will break open again. The love will never go away; but sometimes you need to try to distract yourself from time to time. (I know, it's always there especially in the beginning.)

Keep up your social contacts, even if you don't feel like it now.

There are those here who have lost spouses, and will have more wisdom than I. I am so sorry.
 
So sorry to hear about your loss, aja888. No real advice. One thing I noticed.. stay Physically active/involved. Mind will follow, sooner or later.
 
30 years, am sure many good memories in spite of loss. You have joined a club that I am in.
 
I am so sorry. I'm sure it's a confusing and disorienting time with such a huge life change. Creating new daily habits is very frustrating and hard, especially when it's not your choice.

Losing my DH of 15 years is more frightening to me than anything else. It took us until our mid-fifties to finally find each other and genuine love.

My plan is to die first, leaving him to grieve rather than me.....how generous of me. But as aja888's tag line says.....we all know how plans can go.
 
aja8888 said:
Some of you may remember that I recently (November) posted in a thread here that my dear wife was in a skilled nursing facility being treated for a severe lung infection. This was after almost three weeks in the hospital where they eventually figured out what bacteria was causing the problem.

Well, after many IV infusions of the antibiotic that can kill this bacteria, she lost her fight and passed away in mid December. She put up a valiant fight over those six weeks, but she was suffering from end stage COPD and that complicated the treatment.

I'm still in a state of shock, I'll call it, as every new day is a blank and I can't seem to get anything positive done. We have been together for near 30 years. Frankly, I don't have a clue as to what the rest of my life will be like. At 79, there's not too much quality time left for me unless I beat the averages. I'm in very good physical shape now, but that can change in a heartbeat as we all know.

I have hesitated on creating this thread but I do have a few questions for the group that I will be asking, as some of you have gone through this life event yourself in the not too distant past.
Click to expand...

I am so very sorry to hear this. 30 years isn't enough. We all know how this movie ends but that doesn't make it any better when it happens.

My condolensces. I hope 2023 brings you some peace.
 
I'm SO sorry for your loss, Aja! I can so easily put myself in your shoes - my DW fought an over 11 year fight with brain cancer and came out cancer-free in 2016. At one point I had hospice in place, and I couldn't imagine my life without her either. I got a lot of comfort from the Lord Jesus at the time, and I would say that I hope you can draw close to God through Christ and spend time with friends in the days ahead. If you ever just want to talk to someone please let me know, and we can work out the way to do that. I really wish you well in the short- and longer-term future.
 
Very sorry for your loss, Aja888. It was very obvious from your posts about your DW that your love and care for her was very strong. The hole in your heart and in your life must feel unbearably large right now. Do take care of yourself to give time for grief and healing.
 
I am so very sorry to hear this, aja8888. I don't know how it's even possible to get your head around the loss of a deeply loved one. I didn't say "get over", because I don't think you ever really do get over it. You'll carry her with you always, but will get to a point one day where you can function, and enjoy your life again. You'll always remember her though.
 
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My deepest condolences for your loss.
 
aja8888, I am so sorry for your loss, and hope in some way the memories provide some level of comfort and strength at this time.
 
So sorry to read this, Aja8888. Life can be so tough sometimes but it always does get better, so hang in there and know we are all hoping for the best for you. :(
 
Deepest condolences. So sorry for your loss.
 
Sad news aja. I'm guessing that you feel "lost"... I think I would feel profound emptiness in your situation. My hope is that you can grieve, and then go on as your dear departed DW would want you to move on. Best of luck.
 
So very sorry to hear this - deepest condolences to you.
 
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