Some of you may remember...

[aja8888]

Some of you may remember that I recently (November) posted in a thread here that my dear wife was in a skilled nursing facility being treated for a severe lung infection. This was after almost three weeks in the hospital where they eventually figured out what bacteria was causing the problem.

Well, after many IV infusions of the antibiotic that can kill this bacteria, she lost her fight and passed away in mid December. She put up a valiant fight over those six weeks, but she was suffering from end stage COPD and that complicated the treatment.

I'm still in a state of shock, I'll call it, as every new day is a blank and I can't seem to get anything positive done. We have been together for near 30 years. Frankly, I don't have a clue as to what the rest of my life will be like. At 79, there's not too much quality time left for me unless I beat the averages. I'm in very good physical shape now, but that can change in a heartbeat as we all know.

I have hesitated on creating this thread but I do have a few questions for the group that I will be asking, as some of you have gone through this life event yourself in the not too distant past.

 

[cathy63]

I am so sorry for your loss.

 

[MichaelB]

Deepest condolences, aja888.

 

[Tadpole]

I wish I had answers for you. I can empathize, however. I am 74 and lost my husband this year too. I don't know if you have children or other family nearby. I also lost my pet and my sister this year, leaving me feeling alone. We moved here when we retired and were each other's best friends. So, I don't really know other people very well. My husband's family is nearby but don't really know me and have their own lives and problems, so I try not to depend on them. I hope you have a better network. It is good you have your health. If you have other friends your age perhaps you could get together over breakfast or walks in the park.

I might add that I hope you don't face the same bitterness I feel. I know it is unattractive and I have alienated people who did try to interface with me. So, try to stay positive, if you can.

 

[CDRE]

I hope the fond memories throughout the almost 30 years provide you some comfort and peace.

 

[38Chevy454]

So sorry to hear this. Lean on your friends and family for support and to help when needed. It is a tough time, and any help will ease your pain. Go out with your friends to get change of scenery and help you have some fun. The E-R board here is also good resource as you pointed out. Utilize the expertise and experiences of others to make it easier for you.

 

[steelyman]

Sadness to read this.

You have frequently mentioned her challenges and clearly cared deeply.

 

[Dreamer]

I am so deeply sorry to hear this, Aja8888. It was obvious how much you loved her and I am sure that she felt your love in the way that you cared for her. Cherish the memories. Take life one day at a time. Let your body heal from this horrible shock. Lean on your ROMEO friends, your golfing buddies and of course your friends from this site. Hugs.

 

[Ronstar]

Sorry for your loss, aja888.

 

[Vincenzo Corleone]

Please accept my deepest condolences on the loss of your dear wife.

 

[Dreamer]

I wish I had answers for you. I can empathize, however. I am 74 and lost my husband this year too. I don't know if you have children or other family nearby. I also lost my pet and my sister this year, leaving me feeling alone. We moved here when we retired and were each other's best friends. So, I don't really know other people very well. My husband's family is nearby but don't really know me and have their own lives and problems, so I try not to depend on them. I hope you have a better network. It is good you have your health. If you have other friends your age perhaps you could get together over breakfast or walks in the park.

I might add that I hope you don't face the same bitterness I feel. I know it is unattractive and I have alienated people who did try to interface with me. So, try to stay positive, if you can.

I am sorry to hear about your loss and wish you the best in finding your new life.

 

[StillFiguringItOut]

I am so very sorry for the loss of your dear friend wife. Don’t worry about getting anything positive done for now, but do try and get outside every day if possible, and lean on your friends and family, virtual or irl.

 

[REWahoo]

aja8888, so very sorry to hear of your loss. Deepest condolences.

 

[Alan]

Sorry to hear about your loss. Deepest condolences.

 

[Bigdawg]

Aja, so sorry for your loss. Even though we all know each other only through this site, I consider posters on here one step away from being close friends. We have common goals (FIRE) and share many life (not just financial) experiences/advice/suggestions/ideas. Best of luck to you as you grieve the loss of you best friend/partner. Know that forum members are thinking about you.

 

[Calico]

I am so sorry for your loss, and send my deepest condolences to you.

From your posts over the years it was evident how much your dear wife meant to you. May you find comfort in your happy memories.

 

[Winemaker]

My condolences to you, sir.

 

[Car-Guy]

Sincerely sorry to hear about your loss. My deepest condolences.

 

[disneysteve]

Very sorry for your loss. May her memory be a blessing.


Take one day at a time. Give yourself time to grieve your loss. Don't feel you need to accomplish anything more than that, but at least take care of yourself. Eat, sleep, bathe. Pay the bills. Other than that, most everything else can wait until you're ready to deal with it.

 

[Dash man]

I’m so sorry for your loss of your dear wife. Her memories will live on in you and bring you many smiles and warmth.

 

[Montecfo]

Saddened to hear this. So sorry for your loss.

 

[pacergal]

Oh aja888, I am so sorry to read this. My deepest sympathies to you. Your love for your wife came through every post about her.
Take care of yourself. May the love you shared and your memories sustain you.

 

[skyking1]

I remember your posts about her, aja. We are sorry to hear this.

 

[finnski1]

so very sorry for your loss. My deepest condolences.

 

[Gumby]

So sorry to hear this. May memories of happier times with her bring you comfort.