To Those Who Value Peace & Quiet

[Vincenzo Corleone]

For those of you who value peace and quiet in the general vicinity of your home:

My wife and I live in a high-rise building, the configuration of which causes neighbors to be a little more "in-your-face" than one might like.

We've been happily living here for the past 20 years in relative peace. Neighbors are generally considerate and overall just not the noisy, partying type (my wife and I are the same). Many of the people who live in this building have been living here even longer than my wife and I have - some since the 70s. As such, neighbors are of a certain age and we see they're either passing away or leaving for Florida in ever increasing numbers. Add to this the fact that there's been a whole lot of development in our neighborhood and nearby neighborhoods. These factors are bringing in new, younger people into the building.

Recently, someone moved into a nearby apartment who doesn't show the same consideration for neighbors as those who've lived here in the past. I'll spare you a lot of the details. Suffice it to say that some of the noise from these new neighbors is unreasonable and I have no problem calling building security to deal with it. However, there are other times when they make noise, but noise that probably doesn't rise to the level of complaint - some (many) would not consider it unreasonable. For example - last night (a weeknight, mind you) this neighbor had a bunch of people over (Covid? What's Covid?) and they were carrying on a bit on their terrace. I could hear them slightly over my air conditioner, but there was no music. It started early - which I have no problem with - but it went on until around midnight - again, on a weeknight, not a weekend.

I was upset last night. I asked my wife if I was being unreasonable. In her gentle, diplomatic way she told me I was. Ever since I was as a kid, I was more sensitive to loud noise than others. And I guess I became spoiled with considerate neighbors for the past 20 years that the slightest encounter of inconsiderate neighbors gets me wound up. I think that's what bothers me the most - the lack of consideration for others.

Any tips on how to deal? For various reasons, moving into a detached private house is not really an option.

 

[ElizabethT]

White noise.

I am super sensitive to noise as well. I have found that running a fan or a water fountain is very effective at blocking out ambient noise, so we have overhead fans in our bedrooms/offices, and several water fountains in our yard. The bigger the better.

 

[eytonxav]

I know situations like that can be very disturbing and they even happen in standalone homes with inconsiderate neighbors. Personally, I think the best approach is to try having a civil discussion with the neighbor as a first step. If that does not work, your building may have some regulations regarding noise that could come into play and you could refer the matter to building management. I would suggest keeping a log of the disturbances. People outside on their terrace talking loud enough to be heard by those trying to sleep would most likely bother me as well.

 

[target2019]

Those who party late may be sleeping in late. Makes sense to have early AM coffee with opera music playing though your 100W sound system. Lots of coffee and loud conversation with the missus.

But seriously, what do the building rules say about noise? You have to understand that first.

In suburbia I notice the same transition from older, quieter folks to younger noisier families. Can't stop it, sorry to say. You become a pariah...

 

[Vincenzo Corleone]

Those who party late may be sleeping in late. Makes sense to have early AM coffee with opera music playing though your 100W sound system. Lots of coffee and loud conversation with the missus.

But seriously, what do the building rules say about noise? You have to understand that first.

In suburbia I notice the same transition from older, quieter folks to younger noisier families. Can't stop it, sorry to say. You become a pariah...

The building's rules about noise are worded in a pretty vague way and don't lay out specific guidelines.

 

[Markola]

DW and I have lived in a few such buildings and it was amazing to us how much noise there could be. We joked that some large guy was following us on all our moves around the country so that he could rent the place above us to bowl and do jumping jacks at all hours, specifically because his favorite hobby was bothering us. Of course, we never ever bothered anyone [emoji56].

On the other hand, we’ve had neighbors in detached homes with barking dogs and screaming children, and it makes DW unreasonably angry when people park their cars blocking the walk to our street. I’m usually oblivious and at peace with all of this annoyance until she comments on it.

 

[Vincenzo Corleone]

The building's rules about noise are worded in a pretty vague way and don't lay out specific guidelines.

Here's what it says in the buildings rules and regulations:

"Unit Owners shall not permit the use of their premises in any manner which would be disturbing or a nuisance to the occupants of other units, or in any way injurious to the peace and reputation of the building complex. Unit owners and other occupants [i.e., renters] shall exercise care to minimize noise from any source, so as not to disturb other residents."

Anyway - just assume that I'm being a crotchety old man.

 

[RunningBum]

I also value peace and quiet. But I think you were lucky to have such quiet neighbors for 20 years. You decided to live in a place where you might have to deal with some noise. Perhaps you could play music or get a white noise machine or do something to cover the noises. I know there is noise-reducing insulation, but I doubt you want to tear up walls to put it in. Or maybe you could put up some panels. I don't know how that would look but I've seen that in printer rooms for office buildings.

Even in a free-standing house I still get some extra noise from next door when the house is rented. I have more options to cut the noise but I do kick myself that I didn't build my house where I have more land. But my GF has 5 acres and she hears an ATV and occasional target shooting on the farm behind her.

Maybe finding a new condo/apartment that is built with better noise reduction is an option?

If noise continues past your bed time, perhaps you could ask your new neighbors to hold the noise down after then. They may think they are being considerate in not blasting music so just asking them to be considerate and hold down the noise all the time may be taken badly.

 

[Vincenzo Corleone]

...You decided to live in a place where you might have to deal with some noise...

Agreed.

...I know there is noise-reducing insulation, but I doubt you want to tear up walls to put it in. Or maybe you could put up some panels...

To be clear, the unit of the neighbors to whom I refer are not adjoined. It's not an attachment problem. They are nearby, but not adjoined. We have a magnificent view and have a wall of windows through which the noise enters.

...If noise continues past your bed time, perhaps you could ask your new neighbors to hold the noise down after then.

These are not considerate people. I don't think treating them as such would do much good. But I fully realize that I could be wrong.

 

[Aerides]

If the noise is people talking, laughing, etc., on their terrace until midnight...eh I don't think that rises to complaint level. Annoying, yes. Sounds like you finally got some younger neighbors with a different schedule.

They aren't going to change, so you're going to have to either find a way to adapt or put up with it.

Also, I'm not so sure I'd jump to "they are not considerate" - what they are doing is perfectly normal to them, just not to people over, say, 50. They might be completely unaware that they are disruptive. Better to treat them as if they are clueless than inconsiderate.

 

[MichaelB]

Any tips on how to deal? For various reasons, moving into a detached private house is not really an option.

White noise in the bedroom will reduce the intrusive nature of the sound while you sleep. You can get a dedicated white noise machine or download an app and use the mobile phone. One advantage to the app is the multitude of background sound options. It also costs nothing.

 

[scrabbler1]

My ladyfriend's apartment, where I spend a few nights a week, has some noisy, inconsiderate neighbors. The couple below her had a bad habit of blasting their stereo well into the wee hours of the night, like 3 AM or 4 AM. I had to go downstairs and knock on their down a few times a year several years ago (why they never got the idea that this was rude behavior is beyond me). Earlier this year, my ladyfriend, who is more tolerant of their noise (and it caused a minor rift between her and me at times), finally wrote a note which I taped to their door. It mentioned how they are violating terms of their lease and local village noise laws. It worked, they quieted down and have not been a problem since.


Then, back in May, there was this loud party noise coming from an apartment two floors down late at night. My LF knows there are a lot of loud people in there. After she and I argued, I called the village cops on them. They came by 10 minutes later and banged on their door (we could hear it from inside her apartment). They shut down their noise immediately and haven't had any big noise since then, although they have had some lesser noisy nights not rising to calling the cops again.


In my own building, part of a large co-op complex, enforcement of these things is actually easier. as our managing agent can handle it. My upstairs neighbor back in 2005 was blasting his stereo at 2 AM one night and I called the cops on him. He shut things down. A few years later, I learned from his next-door neighbor that he was in trouble for noise and other violations and asked me to get the police report of the 2005 incident. I did and sent it in. He got fined. A few years later we spoke and he apologized to me and gave me his phone number to call him if his noise was ever a problem. It never was, and he eventually moved out in 2015.

 

[Vincenzo Corleone]

If the noise is people talking, laughing, etc., on their terrace until midnight...eh I don't think that rises to complaint level. Annoying, yes. Sounds like you finally got some younger neighbors with a different schedule.

They aren't going to change, so you're going to have to either find a way to adapt or put up with it.

I'm in complete agreement with you up until this point. My OP is asking for tips on ways to adapt or put up with it.

 

[ATX78701]

I lived in a high rise with mostly older neighbors. The next door couple in the their 60s were considerate and kind...until they divorced and Mark began dating again. Loud music (I can never listen to the band Boston again), smoking, fighting.

I spoke to the neighbor - no effect. I complained to the building - no effect. So I bought an air purifier from a big box retailer. It has a HEPA filter and three speeds which also generate more white noise the higher the speed. It’s easily 3 feet x 3 feet x 1 foot. It worked like a charm to clear any smoke that came into my unit AND provided sufficient white noise to cover their noise.

 

[donheff]

White noise or Bose noise cancelling headphones.

 

[Nemo2]

Around 50 years ago I lived in a Toronto hi-rise apartment building.....people directly above us were less than cooperative.

Early one morning, following a raucous get together upstairs the night before, I went out on our balcony with a sander and some wood.

"What are you doing down there?", croaked a hungover voice......"Sanding" I replied innocently before continuing.

Effective...but nothing like the Russian, or somesuch, hulk who lifted at the gym I frequented......a real 'roid rager' he grew tired of the guy in the apartment upstairs who continued to blast music after numerous requests to lower the volume.

Hulk came in to workout....said he'd finally had enough....went upstairs, kicked the door open, and held the miscreant by his ankles over the balcony.......or so he claimed, and from what little I and others there knew about him we didn't find it at all improbable.

 

[OldShooter]

Really, can "peace and quiet" coexist with "high rise building?" It seems to me that choosing one implicitly elminates the other. Since the OP has chosen "high rise building," the only options that can be discussed here are workarounds.

In my limited experience "halls that don't smell like someone's dinner" also don't coexist well with "apartment building."

Not criticizing; just observing.

 

[Vincenzo Corleone]

Really, can "peace and quiet" coexist with "high rise building?" It seems to me that choosing one implicitly elminates the other. Since the OP has chosen "high rise building," the only options that can be discussed here are workarounds.

In my limited experience "halls that don't smell like someone's dinner" also don't coexist well with "apartment building."

Not criticizing; just observing.

Is that not what I'm asking for? I thought that's what I was asking, anyway. Others seem to have understood. Not criticizing, just observing.

 

[target2019]

Here's what it says in the buildings rules and regulations:

"Unit Owners shall not permit the use of their premises in any manner which would be disturbing or a nuisance to the occupants of other units, or in any way injurious to the peace and reputation of the building complex. Unit owners and other occupants [i.e., renters] shall exercise care to minimize noise from any source, so as not to disturb other residents."

Anyway - just assume that I'm being a crotchety old man.

A once in awhile party would be ok. Persistent infingement is not ok, and it should be noted in some way.
It's written broadly to leave room for all. That doesn't mean the rule and requlation does not exist. I'm sure those closer are more upset, but don't want to be identified as the complainer.

 

[REWahoo]

Around 50 years ago I lived in a Toronto hi-rise apartment building.....people directly above us were less than cooperative.

Early one morning, following a raucous get together upstairs the night before, I went out on our balcony with a sander and some wood.

"What are you doing down there?", croaked a hungover voice......"Sanding" I replied innocently before continuing.

Reminds me of a long-ago camping trip with our two young daughters. The four tent campers in the spot next to us, separated from our pop-up only by a small drive path and a narrow row of shrubs, came home from the bar around 2AM and continued to party. Their loud music and drunken shouting woke up everyone around them, and, in spite of my personal plea to them to hold down the noise, they continued to party loudly for most of the night.

We were pulling our pop-up with a station wagon which had radio speakers located in the lower portion of the rear door. The door was hinged at the top, designed to open upwards like the hatch on an SUV.

All was quiet as the sun began to rise and I opened the rear door of the wagon and quietly backed it up against the shrubs. This placed the speakers pointing directly at the hungover partiers tent located only a few feet away. At a volume barely above a whisper I found an oldies station playing an Elvis song, then cranked the volume up all the way.

I will always remember the sight of four startled, hungover, still drunk partiers staggering out of their tent with a wild-eyed look, trying to figure out why Elvis was screaming "Return to sender, last address unknown..." at them.

 

[FLSUnFIRE]

No need to go medieval on them... I'd try to talk to them when you are not upset and aggravated. Multi-unit, you will have some noise. They probably don't realize it and if hanging out and having a drink or three, may be noisier than they realize. You can try some white noise too as it may help and be a way to "meet in the middle." I'm living in a multi-unit dwelling for the first time in 20 years and give lots of leeway (fortunately no issues).. sometimes I worry I may be too loud myself.


I'll leave this (although this internet world would have you believe otherwise)...

Good Luck!
FLSunFIRE

 

[CDRE]

Create a free customized soundscape: https://noises.online/

 

[Vincenzo Corleone]

Create a free customized soundscape: https://noises.online/

Bookmarked. Thanks!

 

[sergio]

I lived in a high rise with mostly older neighbors. The next door couple in the their 60s were considerate and kind...until they divorced and Mark began dating again. Loud music (I can never listen to the band Boston again), smoking, fighting.

I spoke to the neighbor - no effect. I complained to the building - no effect. So I bought an air purifier from a big box retailer. It has a HEPA filter and three speeds which also generate more white noise the higher the speed. It’s easily 3 feet x 3 feet x 1 foot. It worked like a charm to clear any smoke that came into my unit AND provided sufficient white noise to cover their noise.

This would drive me nuts. I highly recommend caulking all holes and gaps (eg between the baseboard and floor) in the party wall, sealing up all electrical outlets, light fixtures, and plumbing pipes, and putting one of those rubber sweeps on the bottom of your door to seal it off from the hallway. Second hand smoke is friggin nasty and dangerous!!

 

[MRG]

OP I'd be in the white noise camp. It's helpful.

Occasionally we get a noisy rental but they're normally gone by the weekend. More often, like two nights ago, I'll be outside on the hammock at 11pm, in total darkness and silence and hear an animal walking around the forest. Deer? Neighbors cat? Lion?