Weddings

[Moemg]

Have weddings gotten out of hand ? First it was the lavish receptions ,then it was the destination weddings , two wedding dresses so you can change half way thru the reception and now it is jetting off to Vegas for the bachelorette party .The average cost just keeps going up.

 

[Souschef]

We eloped. DW sent an e-mail to her sons after the fact

 

[Moemg]

Gorgeous Picture !Congratulations !

 

[HadEnuff]

Yes! IMO, definitely.

My two cent analysis is that it has become the bride's day to be Cinderella, and no expense is too extravagant. One summer DW and I went to two weddings that had to cost well in excess of 50K. Neither marriage lasted 2 years.
I don't know how those who were footing the bill felt about it, but I was pi$$ed I wasted a perfectly good Spring Saturday for a 2 year commitment.

 

[Bamaman]

I have a friend who spent $125k on a wedding. Her big Lebanese family had 100 first cousins and every Arab American for 300 miles was there.

 

[truenorth418]

i agree weddings have become a venue for couples (but mostly women) to have a Disney experience and call attention to themselves. There is a lot of oneupsmanship as every wedding seems to be bigger than the last. Having had to fly or drive great distances to some of these, I will say I have had enough. And yes many of the marriages end in divorce within a couple of years. I propose a new tradition: if the marriage lasts less than 10 years the couple must return all gifts and travel costs incurred by the wedding guests. And also send out letters apologizing to the guests for needlessly inconveniencing them. And if it was a church wedding, go back to the church and ask for forgiveness for breaking their vows to God. I have a few other ideas but as you can see this is a sore spot for me so I’ll just leave it there. LOL.

 

[Philliefan33]

I’ll let you know later this year. DD1 got engaged at Thanksgiving and is getting married at the end of April. She and her fiancé started making plans before DH and I had a chance to talk to them about finances. She was very surprised and happy when I told her that we would pay for the wedding.

She said they hope to keep the total under $10K. The guest list is under 90 people, all near relatives and close friends (DH has seven siblings and just that branch of the family added 25 invites). Even with that small number of people I think it will be hard to stay under $10K, but I bet we spend less than $15K.

So far we’ve spent $860 for her dress and the deposit on the venue. The biggest expense will be food and alcohol. We think we know what caterer we will use but haven’t gotten any prices yet.

 

[pb4uski]

DD got married last summer. And while the cost of weddings is out of hand, I'm proud to say that her and DSIL were very pragmatic about it... they shopped around a lot and kept it simple and it worked out great. Their focus was on family and spending quality time together as a family rather than on all the other crazy stuff.

His parents took care of the wine and beer and bar and we took care of everything else. DW has beautiful flower gardens and friends who garden so between those and a few hundred $ of flowers from Trader Joe's (I think) DW transformed them into beautiful flower arrangements for each table as well as the bride and bridesmaids bouquets and groom and groomsmen boutiners (which were flowers in a brass casing.... DSIL likes to shoot). At the wedding, one of our guests was telling me that they had recently attended a wedding where just the flowers cost $40k! Crazy!

Another part that is crazy is the cost of venues.... just the hall for the reception can run thousands $.... our lake association has a pavilion that accomodates ~200 guests that members can rent for $300... including tables and chairs. The opted not to have a band or a DJ and just did their own canned music ahead of time.

Over 150 guests and I think they spent well under $20k in total and everyone had a great time.

 

[Moemg]

. Having had to fly or drive great distances to some of these, I will say I have had enough. And yes many of the marriages end in divorce within a couple of years. I propose a new tradition: if the marriage lasts less than 10 years the couple must return all gifts and travel costs incurred by the wedding guests..

My niece had a wedding extravaganza including arriving by boat . They were separated two years later .

 

[Moemg]

She said they hope to keep the total under $10K. The guest list is under 90 people, all near relatives and close friends (DH has seven siblings and just that branch of the family added 25 invites). Even with that small number of people I think it will be hard to stay under $10K, but I bet we spend less than $15K.

So far we’ve spent $860 for her dress and the deposit on the venue. The biggest expense will be food and alcohol. We think we know what caterer we will use but haven’t gotten any prices yet.

My So 's son is getting married and the bride said she was going to have a wedding for $10,000 . Right now the rehersal dinner alone is at $7,000.

 

[Moemg]

Over 150 guests and I think they spent well under $20k in total and everyone had a great time.

Congratulations you raised a LBYM daughter and she still was able to have the wedding on her dreams .

 

[pb4uski]

My niece had a wedding extravaganza including arriving by boat . They were separated two years later .

We were planning to arrive by boat.... the bridesmaids were to be ferried across the lake to the lakefront lot where the ceremony was to be held in our pontoon boat and DD and I were going to be ferried to the ceremony in a friend's 60's era wood inboard boat... but a bad thunderstorm that started 15 minutes before the ceremony forced us to Plan B and the ceremony was held where the reception was held.... every guest was within 30' of the couple when they took their vows.

 

[Clone]

One of DW's coworkers:

Had been living together for over 5 years.
Spent 16 months planning a big, fancy, expensive wedding.
Got divorced 6 months later.

 

[CountryGal]

DD got married a few months ago and we kept it just under 10k. Married outside by a lake and reception at a park with pavilion. She kept everything simple. We had about 130 guests that came. She and the attendants all worked very hard to make it personal and beautiful. They were up at dawn to decorate wedding and reception locations. I bought a boatload of flowers from Costco a few days before the wedding. Ladies at church helped with rehearsal dinner for donation to their charity.

 

[pb4uski]

Congratulations you raised a LBYM daughter and she still was able to have the wedding on her dreams .

Thanks.... but DSIL and his family also deserve credit too... they are very down to earth and family-oriented... the "kids" had a distinct vision of what they wanted their wedding to be and worked hard to make it happen... it helped that they were at the same time planning to build a house and knew that every $ spent on the wedding was one less $ available for the house.

We told them we would pay $x but if they spent less that then they could use the difference for the house.... it made it easy for me... I just wrote DD a check for $x. (If they had spent over $x the next $10k was 50/50 and anything above $x+$10k was on their dime). I think DD was happy because when I told her we would pay up to $x she characterized it as "generous" and seemed pleasantly surprised.

 

[gayl]

DS wedding was a BBQ catered by Kinders for 200. Around 6k. A friend officiated, used a disc jockey, they decorated themselves (well its easy at a state park -- not much allowed) -- lasted 10 hrs

I have a friend who spent $125k on a wedding.

That'd be a heck of a down payment on a house!

 

[Gumby]

In the past three years, my best friend married off his two daughters. The young wife and I attended both weddings. I don't know for sure, but I'd guess each one was well over $50k. However, both girls did get full ride scholarships through college, so he had the money for it. They are both wonderful young women who married wonderful young men, and I will be quite surprised if they don't last.

 

[Moemg]

DD got married a few months ago and we kept it just under 10k. Married outside by a lake and reception at a park with pavilion. She kept everything simple. We had about 130 guests that came. She and the attendants all worked very hard to make it personal and beautiful. They were up at dawn to decorate wedding and reception locations. I bought a boatload of flowers from Costco a few days before the wedding. Ladies at church helped with rehearsal dinner for donation to their charity.

Sounds Lovely !

 

[travelover]

As long as the money is spent willingly, so be it. Parents that are guilt-ed or extorted into it - not so cool.

 

[gerntz]

Define hand.

 

[HFWR]

As long as it’s not my wedding, or on my dime...

 

[athena53]

It's always been this way although the stakes keep getting higher as each one tries to do everything they saw in the last wedding, and then more. I was married twice, once at 31 and once at 50, so we were older and more stable and not in the age bracket where weddings are a competition. Both were about 50 guests, and you can have a pretty nice wedding for less with a small guest list.

I could tell lots of anecdotes (we all could) but my niece asked her Dad if $12,000 was too much for a wedding dress. Not sure what she did spend but it was a beautiful wedding and they just had a baby boy (2 years later) and things look good. The other thing I wanted to mention was the rehearsal dinner for DS, my only child. DDIL came from a large extended family and most of them were in town. Their church was family-friendly and many of their friends had small children. We chose a more modest venue but extended the invites to just about anyone who was in town, and their kids. A good time was had by all. It was something over $5,000 in 2014 but well worth it.

 

[Teacher Terry]

My son married a woman from Poland. They dated long distance for 3 years and were in their 30's. When she got her fiancee visa we had 3 months to plan a wedding. The states wedding was what my son wanted so I consulted with him and planned everything. WE paid and it cost about 3k. Then a year later after my son turned Catholic they had a big church wedding in Poland with 80 people. It was a 2 day reception with band, disc jockey, food every hour ( a different course) and tons of booze. The total cost was 10k and the kids paid part and so did her parents. 8 years later they are still very happy. Things in Poland are cheap)

 

[travelover]

Define hand.

noun
noun: hand; plural noun: hands

1. 1.
   the end part of a person's arm beyond the wrist, including the palm, fingers, and thumb.
   "she placed the money on the palm of her hand"
   synonyms palm, fist; Moreinformalpaw, mitt, duke, hook, meathook
   "big, strong hands"
   • a prehensile organ similar to a hand, forming the end part of a limb of various mammals, such as that on all four limbs of a monkey.
   • operated by or held in the hand.
     modifier noun: hand
     "hand luggage"
   • done or made manually rather than by machine.
     "hand signals"
   • informal
     a round of applause.
     "his fans gave him a big hand"
   • dated
     a pledge of marriage by a woman.
     "he wrote to request the hand of her daughter in marriage"
   
   
2. 2.
   something resembling a hand in form or position, in particular.

 

[Sue J]

Our son got married last April in Beijing, China. First he had to go to the US embassy and get an Affidavit of Marriageability. Then they went to the marriage office in her district and signed all the necessary papers. Very simple and direct. And personally, I find it very romantic!

Between his travel expenses, some excursions and a honeymoon in a high end hotel in Beijing it may have cost him $1000-$1500.

We didn't have any expenses so we gave them a cash gift for their future life together or for a house down payment.