If you (& spouse) made $160K/yr, would you force your kids to wear 2nd hand clothes?

[chris2008]

Why not? Kids outgrow their stuff quickly and you find a lot in mint or hardly used condition on yard sales. As long as it can be washed easily I would take what I or the kids like.
We do not have kids, but I saw all of my nephews /nieces grow up in rotated clothes or flea market treasures. And they all come from families with good income.

My SIL has great fun to hunt on the flea markets for stuff to be used by her grandchildren. And the parents (mother is one of the nieces that grew up in 2nd hand clothes) appreciate.
It is a good idea to teach kids early that the idea of "I deserve only new stuff" is nothing but a marketing tool and that those people without prejudice who dare to resist the marketing stuff have benefits.

 

[BigNick]

I am slightly surprised at the OP, given the nature of this forum. Those of us who LBYM all do so in our own way. $160K/year probably leaves the average family about $5K/month after taxes, mortgage, car payments, and utilities. I know people who spend $1K/month on clothes for the family. If you think that cars depreciate fast, you haven't tried getting second-hand value out of clothes.

 

[chinaco]

I see nothing wrong with it. Not like they are wearing rags!


The other end of life American Style is spend it all on any and everything... with parents saving nothing for themselves.


American Boomer parents, on average, have been fiscal fools... which is one of the major reasons middle class boomers will not be able to afford to retire!


In these people's specific case, they have 5 kids (raised 3 already). Supporting 7 people (5 till adulthood) in the US can be very expensive.


So.... what does the average middle class American family seem to do?? IOW... life American Style!


I read reports in 2009 and 2010 that indicated that the average cost of raising a kid till 18 years old was $250k to $286k in the US. If parents then pays for college and (being conservative the kids complete it in 4 years) that cost could be upwards to $100k per student for tuition and living expense (4 years)... could be more or less depending on the school and living arrangements.


Let's take the lower cost of raising 5 x $250k = $1.25M. Cost of college 5 x $100k = $500k Total = $1.75M after tax money!!!


ok... how much is that a year assuming they graduate at 22 years old... which rarely happens. Well $1.75M/22 = $79.5k/ yr on average. Well what do they have to earn gross? let's assume a 25% cost of working (taxes, commute, etc). That is $106k/yr Not sure if that cost of raising includes part of the mortgage, transportation, etc (common family costs) for 22 years... but they have gross left $54k to pay for other needs and prepare for retirement and the parents cost of living.


Now you could dispute those figures... but no one will dispute the fact that raising children and getting them off onto life with a solid economic footing is expensive.

Beside these people adopted some of those kids.


Those 2nd hand clothes don't look so stingy after all does it.

 

[LOL!]

For many, many years my kids got hand-me-down clothes from friends of ours who had kids that were just a year or so older than them. They basically never had any new clothes of their own. My son even wore hand-me shoes from his older sister. Why pay for shoes when the kids go barefoot 99% of the time?

Nowadays, both teenagers are big enough to wear hand-me-down clothes from their parents.

But we've never had to go to garage sales to buy clothes. It's too expensive. Free is better.

 

[Fshnfool]

Does it really have to be all or nothing either way? Maybe some nice new clothes and some older second hand clothes would be appropriate?

 

[Andre1969]

Before they retired early this year, my Mom and stepdad were probably making around $180K per year. Now, I'm 41, long since grown and out of the house, so their days of having to clothe me are long since gone.

Still, all through the year, my Mom would shop the clearance racks at various stores, and pick up clothes to wrap up and give me for Christmas. Mom's taste can be hit or miss. Ages ago though, I learned to just be quiet, say thank you and "you shouldn't have", and then, if it's something I know I won't wear, either give it to a friend, or put it in the pile to donate.

Sometimes though, what she gets is a success. I'm wearing a polo-style shirt right now that she got me for Christmas a few years ago.

 

[52andout]

Her tactics are the type that enabled many here to retire much earlier than normal. When my grandkids come there are a bunch of toys/bikes/books for them that cost pennies on the dollar and they could care less. I see no difference from buying a used house,boat, RV or car- let someone else take the depreciation.

 

[eytonxav]

With our kids, they had both used/hand me downs mixed with new. Given the rapid change in sizes during the growth years, I see nothing wrong with this.

 

[rothlev]

My daughter is way above the 160k income bracket, and I doubt other than presents that her girls have any new clothes. She trades them back and forth with her friends , and is a thrift store expert. It is her hobby. The downside is she has too many boxes and bags of clothes everywhere. The girls are toddlers, and have no say, so we will see how this pans out as they get older.

Really, I wish I'd known it was an option when I was younger. My kids wore
cheap clothes from the sales racks , thrift stores are a far better option.

 

[chris2008]

I just browsed through Miser Mom's blog and I love it. Lots of ideas and great humor. Look at this
Miser Mom: A tribute to a miser dad

 

[brewer12345]

DW usually buy stuff for the kids at outlets, but we also swap with friends and family for kid clothes. They grow out of stuff so fast it still looks new most of the time.

I should really start checking out thrift and consignment stores.

 

[Bestwifeever]

Not surprised in the least that someone who writes a blog called "Miser Mom" is talking about how she saves money. Duh--what did you expect her to write about in her blog--bargains at Tiffany?

 

[Alan]

Our kids had a mixture of new and hand-me-downs. Our son didn't seem to mind that some of his hand-me-downs came from his sister.

 

[Texas Proud]

My sister did it... went to resale shops all the time...

Her kids are grown and on their own and still go to a few...


To me, the problem is that the cost at resale here are not that great... IOW, I could not buy anywhere near as much as she bought for $18... the savings is in th 20% range so we do the Ross and other cheap store and call it a day...

OR, wait for the sale at JC Penney or somewhere else..


I will give you the best deal I every got... It was Holloween time and we went to Old Navy... they gave out a $5 off coupon at the front door to everybody... so wife, 2 kids and me have $20 to spend... we find Holloween outfit for the young one on sale for $5 (regularly $20), a jacket for the older one that cost $10 (regularly $40) and then T shirt with Old Navy and the year on them on sale for $1 each... we take a couple of them to the register and the girl said she could not take the last coupon since we did not buy enough... so, back to pick up a few more $1 T shirts to have $20 worth of clothes... and walk out paying nothing... that was 2008 and we are still wearing those T shirts...

 

[swampwiz]

How do you know they have a household income of 160k? Her kids seem old enough that if they didn't want yardsale clothes they could likely get a job and buy their own.

It was referenced by another website in which the woman was described as having that income. Obviously, there must be some reference to her income on her website, but unfortunately I could not find it.

BTW, she's got all kinds of cheapskate posts. There was one where she talked about saving money with cold showers!

 

[Alan]

BTW, she's got all kinds of cheapskate posts. There was one where she talked about saving money with cold showers!

SIL and her DH used to subject us to that whenever we visited them in Scotland. They had the water temperature set very low and only turned on the water heater immediately before they needed it. The first one in would get a cool shower, the 2nd person in would inevitably end up with it running cold before they finished.

This last visit a few weeks ago was much better. They have mellowed in their old age. Plenty of hot water.

 

[HatePayingTaxes]

We're over that income range and we try not to buy them any new clothes. Always try to leech some clothes from friends/relatives. Of course, our kids are less than 2 so they don't know the difference.
Not just with clothes, I try not to buy anything new if it's appropriate. Even though we have money to buy things new, I just don't see a value in it.

 

[Dimsumkid]

You should delve deeper into her blogs, she practices "passive cooling", no central or window AC units at all. Says based in central PA, temps hit 100 for a few days, and all they did was draw the curtains during the day and using ceiling fans. She mentioned the temp got up to 83. This appears to be her choice and based on her other blogs, she appears to be going very green, reducing landfills, repurposing items (check out solar cooking eggs in a pot, cardboard box and storm window pane), minimizing utility usage, etc.

DW's friend has 3 boys all older than our only son. He gets all their nicer castoffs. All from nice stores, LL Bean and Gap stuff, most barely worn or never worn. We've only had to buy him some new shoes, socks and underwear. Really helps save on items he'll only wear for maybe 1 year at most. We freecycle to others and also get things too.

I for one practice getting "used" clothing. I get cast offs using freecycle too, comes in very handy since I'm always doing things that damage clothing,i.e., painting, outdoor work, installing/working in and around fiberglass insulation, working on the yard, plumbing/sump pump work, working in tight crawl spaces and also cleaning up water seepage/leaks. I prefer not to buy t'shirts at $5-10 new when companies love to hand them out for free in so many ways they call "marketing", all you need to do is ask for them.

 

[HFWR]

Why, we couldn't even afford air...

Wore some hand-me-down clothing, and used second-hand school books. I turned out okay.

On second thought...

 

[Bestwifeever]

If the garage sale/hand me down clothes have enough holes in them, no need to pay for AC.

 

[pimpmyretirement]

Nothing wrong with used clothes IMO, except the time needed to find them. The opportunity cost of time spent must be considered when attempting to be frugal.

Everyone has their own personal of level of frugality they are comfortable with. Doing with less will feel like suffering, doing with more won't bring lasting happiness.

Testing yourself to determine what is and is not acceptable can be interesting. I'll do without bottled water or cable tv easily. Take a bus instead of cab with no issues, assuming I have time. I don't even consider having a smart phone. On the other hand - my attempt at no AC failed miserably. A few days in the mid-90's with an 80+ degree house, and I cracked. A couple weeks later and the AC is on constantly and it is 74 degrees inside 24/7.

 

[Miser Mom]

Miser Mom responds

This is Miser Mom herself responding: It's wild reading all these comments -- thank you, all! I appreciate the chance to see my own life through other peoples' eyes.

I'll elaborate a little. Yes, we could afford store-bought clothes, but I "force" my sons (and myself) to wear yard-sale clothes. We could afford meat at every meal, but I "force" my kids to eat meat-less (or less-meat) meals often. We could afford to drive everywhere, but my sons and I bicycle or walk most places under 1 mile. I'm awfully tough on my kids. Oh, how they suffer!

If you saw my kids, you'd think they were very happy. (Maybe they actually are.)

Thanks again for a lot of encouraging comments -- and also for the comments that make me critically examine my life.

 

[FreeAtLast]

I would not go out of my way to purchase 2nd hand clothing, however, if a sibling or close relative had something they did not need or like I would take it.

I recently took some things from my son that he was not wearing and that I was able to use.

We always tried to shop the sales when the kids were younger and they kept out growing clothing. We would later put it up for sale at a consignment shop to get a few bucks.

I don't think that $160 k is a huge amount of income for 2 wage earners. Not much left after mortgage, taxes, 401k, vacations, car payments, insurance not to mention food and clothing.

 

[Eyerishgold]

I have a 5 month old son and a 2 year old nephew so my son wears clothes that have been handed down almost exclusively. Whether you have the money or not it makes sense to buy used, especially for young children. The clothes are just as "cute" but a lot less expensive or, in my case, free!

 

[fancy free]

Oh, please, our daughter wouldn't be forced to wear second-hand clothes. If she didn't like what was available at Goodwill & garage sales then she was free to save her allowance (or do jobs around the house) and go buy her own clothes.

+1

Force is such a strong word. I just quizzed my kids the other day about whether a lifetime of LBYM was going to cause them to be spendthrifts when they were on their own — they swore up and down that they are forever cheapskates just like mom and dad.